Just Another Lovesick Boy

Hospitals were never my favorite place to be but I didn’t hate them the way others seemed to. I didn’t see what was so bad about them, with the exception of there being nothing to do. Then again, I never spent much time in the hospital in the first place. I had never been ill to the point of being hospitalized and I never broke a bone or anything. Eddy, however, spent quite some time in the hospital, whether it was broken bones or an injured family member. I couldn’t stand seeing Eddy being in a hospital, even if the room he was occupying wasn’t his. It seemed that every minute that passed by was a minute that he was losing his mind.

My mom and Mr. Devereux were sitting on both sides of Free’s bed, making casual conversation. After a couple days, Mr. Devereux had calmed down enough to not show any worried emotion in front of Eddy. He might have been hiding his pain over Free’s condition for Eddy’s sake but it was taking the opposite effect. From every glance Eddy threw at his father, I could tell that Eddy was only getting more and more confused that his dad wasn’t showing any anxiety over Free.

I stared over at Eddy’s fingers as they frantically tapped at his chair. He had been tapping his fingers non-stop since I had arrived immediately after school. It had been a couple of days since I revealed to Anya and Lee what had happened. Lee showed up to visit Free the very same day but Anya had not showed up. I did not bother to question her about it the next day at school. She was quiet and she didn’t bring it up either but I had a small feeling that she was not quite sure exactly what she should say or do when she arrived. She needed time to think it over.

With a large huff, I pushed myself out of my chair and put a hand over Eddy’s tapping fingers. My mom glanced over at me from over Mr. Devereux’s shoulder with a raised eyebrow.

“I’m taking Eddy out for some food,” I explained as I pulled him out of his chair.

“I’m not hungry, dude,” he said softly before attempting to sit back down.

“Hmm, too bad,” I dragged him by his shoulders out of the room into the hallway.

Eddy winced lightly as he shrugged my arms off of him but still stayed by side as we walked to the elevator. He was getting quieter and quieter as the days that Free did not wake up passed by. I knew that he was still feeling guilty over the entire accident, especially about Mr. Idlett’s death. After we left his room, Eddy had done something that I was rather surprised to hear and asked me if I would walk with him to the small chapel the church had. Eddy had not stepped foot in a church of any sort on his own since his mom passed away. I didn’t say anything but I stayed quiet as I sat by his side while he prayed silently. Since then, if Eddy wasn’t by his sister’s side, he was in the chapel.

“Ed, I’m worried about you,” I admitted after we sat down at a table after getting a few sandwiches.

“You’re always worried about me,” he scoffed lightly before taking a bite out of his food.

“You give me reason to be,” I rolled my eyes before getting straight to the point. “Do you think Free would blame you for the accident?”

Eddy’s eyes flickered up to me before he glanced back down. “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean, jackass, answer the question.”

“Fuck, what’s your problem?”

“I just had an epiphany that I really need to stop being all gentle around you,” I shrugged as I leaned back in my seat. “You feel guilty about the accident, I get that. You feel guilty about Mr. Idlett, I get that, too. But you need to stop blaming yourself for everything.”

“But I-” Eddy started.

“If you don’t stop wallowing in self-pity, so help me, Edward James Devereux, I will tell Free everything when she wakes up and I won’t stop her when she hits you.”

Eddy glowered my way for a brief moment and I kept my own gaze hard and unyielding. I loved Eddy to death but there were times that he needed to stop blaming himself for everything that went wrong in his life. I wanted to be the type of friend who was there for him in every time of need and comforted him just the way he needed, but I couldn’t. I wanted to understand his depression and self-hatred, but I couldn’t. I wanted to help, but I couldn’t. I had never been depressed and I had never hated myself so I couldn’t understand what Eddy was going through. I might not have been that but I could at least be the person who helped him back up.

“She’s going to kill me,” he finally relented as he picked hard pieces of bread off of his sandwich.

“That she is,” I nodded in agreement.

“I just want my sister to wake up,” he sighed heavily.

“We all do.”

Eddy and I continued to talk as we ate our lunch. I grudgingly informed him of what people were saying about him while he wasn’t around but Eddy simply smirked and shook his head. He was seemingly shy as he cautiously asked about Anya’s well-being. He admitted that since the accident, he had been ignoring his cell phone so he had not heard from her in almost two weeks. I paused for a moment before I was interrupted by the buzzing of my own phone in my pocket. I read the message and replied with a smile before looking back up at Eddy.

“She's good,” I told him. “I mean, I don't know what actually goes on in her life but she seems okay.”

“Good,” he nodded.

I gave him a small smirk as I bit down on the straw to my soda. Of all the questions he could have asked about Anya, he chose, “How is she?” and was satisfied with one quick answers. He slightly fidgeted in his seat and I had to smile at his squirming. I glanced up and smiled at the sight over Eddy’s shoulder. As I shifted my gaze back down at him, I had to grin wider at the sight of him taking a huge bite out of his sandwich.

“Hi, Eddy,” her soft voice disturbed his meal.

Eddy glanced up with his cheeks humorously large after his bite of food. At the sight of Anya, he immediately began coughing and hastily swallowed his food. His eyes watered as his face reddened as some of his food apparently went down the wrong pipe. Anya gave him a patient smile and sat by his side to pat his back as he continued to cough. I pushed towards him my drink and he eagerly took off the lid to take a large swallow of soda. He wiped at his nose before sneaking a peek at Anya.

“That was really lame,” he laughed nervously.

“Just a bit,” she smiled. “But we all have our moments.”

“Yeah, so, um, how have you been?” he asked, clearly ignoring how he asked me the same question only a few minutes earlier.

“I’ve been well,” she said. “And you? How are you holding up?”

“Could be better,” he admitted with a shrug. He was silent for a moment before he turned to look at her. “Lee came over to visit a couple days ago. Where were you?”

“I just,” Anya hesitated, “I needed time to think over what I would say to you.”

Eddy was reckless. He said and did things the second they popped into his head without thinking about it. There were countless times where I had to hold him back and remind him of the possible outcomes his actions would have. There were times where I wondered if Eddy would ever think things out before he did them. But acting recklessly was his charm. Things always worked out for him.

Anya was practically his complete opposite. She thought everything out before she did anything. I liked that about her. She was cautious. But she was cautious to a fault. Sometimes, she would think things out for far too long that an opportunity would just pass her by. I honestly hadn’t expected her to show up for another couple of days. Her arrival at the hospital said a lot. She knew she had to be there for Eddy. She was still cautious but she still came.

“You didn’t need to think so hard about it,” Eddy furrowed his brow. “You could have just showed up.”

“I’m not like that, Eddy,” she gave him a small smile.

“You know,” I interjected, “I think I’m going to head back up. You two stay here and chat. Anya, mellow him out a bit.”

“You can rely on me, chief,” she gave me a mock salute with a sarcastic smile.

“Good. At ease, soldier,” I nodded very seriously before turning away to walk out.

I hoped that Anya would be what Eddy needed to get better. Perhaps she could understand what Eddy was going through better than I did. It hurt to think about somebody who could help my best friend where I couldn't but I had to put my pride away for his sake. Anya had to be one of the sweetest people I knew but I was starting to comprehend the apprehension Eddy was feeling when I first started talking to Lee on a regular basis. After that whole fiasco, I realized that our friendship could be shaken but would not break because of evolving relationships. I was shaken but I had to admit, I liked the fact that Eddy was feeling better.