Just Admit That You Love Me

I don’t know what got into me. I just saw them together doing what they were doing and I snapped. I was hoping that Rylee was going to confess to her now since I told her to ask him about Tristyn. I was praying he would because I knew that she loved me, I knew it. All it took was for that one moment where she – not me – pulled me close to her and kissed me. I could feel everything she was feeling in that one moment and no matter how much she denied it now, she loved me.

I kept thinking about what I had seen though, I thought she wasn’t ready. I know that I have a very high ego but I honestly thought that I was the only one she could see herself doing that with. I felt her wanting it when we were kissing and I wanted it just as bad.

Last night had played out differently than I thought it would. One minute I was talking to these two incredibly hot girls and then the next minute I told them I had to go and had gone back to Geoff’s hotel to crash until morning where I could talk to Mikenna and tell her the way I felt about her. I did tell her in a non speaking way how I felt about her and now at least she knew.

I flipped through the channels on the TV while adjusting myself on the couch. I had ended up crashing on it and then leaving it only to be reunited with it when things with Mikenna didn’t exactly turn out. What did I expect anyways? I mean, she has been dating Rylee for 3 years and even if they broke up she’d need time to think about things. I knew that I probably ruined our friendship today but I was okay with that as long as Rylee told her about Tristyn.

I heard the door knob jiggle and then a few seconds later Tristyn walked in with an extremely mad face on. I looked at her with a confused expression but was actually praying that she was upset because of what I wanted her to be upset about. She walked over and took a seat on the couch beside me, kicking off her high heels. To be honest I was surprised that she had even gone out; she seemed too caught up in texting Rylee to do anything else.

“Couldn’t you just keep quiet about this? I don’t ask you for much you know,” She said in a loud very demanding tone. I just shrugged like the smartass I was and continued flipping through the channels. I didn’t really care about her little drama right now because I was actually kind of worried about how hurt Mikenna was right now. I wondered if she’d take comfort in coming to me about it.

“Rylee said he can’t talk to me for a while until Mikenna’s suspicions die down because someone had to be an ass and hint at her what was going on,” I felt my head begin to spin with confusion. Wait, so she wasn’t mad because Mikenna found out, she was mad because she almost did. I could already feel the anger rising in me. That little shit head lied to her, again!

“You know what Tristyn,” I said standing up and looking down at her. “I’m about to go and tell her everything right now,” She stood up in front of me and glared. I was honestly so mad right now that if it wasn’t illegal to hit a girl I probably would have smashed her face in right about now. She was too obsessed with herself to even think about caring about someone else’s feelings.

“You wouldn’t,” She said pointing her finger at me. “You wouldn’t do anything to hurt Mikenna and you know it,” I felt like spitting in her face right now. She had a point though, but I had already hurt her today and I wasn’t going to hesitate to let her know about Rylee and Tristyn sneaking around behind her back.

“I would do anything to protect her,” I said shoving her hand away from me. She looked at me in shock, like I had just done the worst thing in the world. “Tell her or I’m going over there right now and doing it myself,” I could feel her starting to freak out internally. She would do anything to have Mikenna not find out about them two and their stupid carelessness.

“I’ll tell her,” She said sitting down in defeat. I sat down beside her and for a second I felt sorry for her but it quickly went away. “I love him, you know… Rylee… I’m in love with him,” She said after a few minutes in silence. She looked over at me and for some strange reason I believed her. I believed that she loved him because of the look in her eyes, it was the same look anybody in love wore on their face.

“It doesn’t change anything though,” I sighed. I knew that this was probably going to be hard for her seeing as, as soon as she told Mikenna, not only would the main relationship end, the side one would too. I looked over at her and felt sorry for her again. I knew what it was like to be in love with someone and not be able to have them. I’ve loved Mikenna my whole life and stupid me only figured that out a few days ago. It made sense though because I always got this feeling whenever Mikenna and Rylee were together before and I was now realizing that it was jealousy.

“I know,” She huffed. I reached over and pulled her close to me, trying to comfort her. I hugged her tightly and she hugged me back. I was still pissed at her for hurting Mikenna though, but I was even more pissed at myself for hurting her. I should have told her sooner but I want either Tristyn or Rylee to tell her and if it turns out that they don’t, well then, I guess I have to.

Tristyn left after a little while and so I went out and searched for Geoff who hadn’t come back to the hotel since we left for the beach party last night. I was wondering if he and Lauren finally hooked up but then realized they hadn’t when I saw Lauren making out with this guy, who’s name I think is Ethan or something like that, on the beach. I passed them and then sat down in the sand by myself and laid down.

I could hear the ocean as I looked upwards towards the sky looking for some answers. The only thing I seemed to find was a cloud that looked like a turtle and the sun which was burning my eyes. I looked around hoping that I would see Geoff anywhere but I didn’t see him at all. It was only when I got up and started walking around places that weren’t the beach that I found him. He was with some girl, beside a building in the middle of a field lying down.

“Jesus!” I said once I got to them and realized they were both naked. They both jumped up and started grabbing their clothes as I turned away. This was so like Geoff to hook up with some girl in the middle of a field beside a building. There was a nude beach not too far away from here though and so I guess that if anyone walked out they wouldn’t think about it too much.

“What the hell!” Geoff yelled grabbing me and turning me around. It was better to see him fully clothed, although I didn’t really mind seeing his girl naked, too bad she was fully clothed too. I smirked at her and then looked back over at Geoff. He was one of the biggest players I knew and even at home where we shared an apartment I had never caught him naked with some chick.

“Me what the hell? What about you what the hell?” I said throwing my hands up and looking between him and the girl. She was kind of pretty, she had blue eyes and jet black hair that wasn’t dyed and she had natural curves, she was kind of beautiful actually.

“Me, what the hell, you, what the hell, all of us what the hell. We done?” She said crossing her arms over her chest. Geoff looked back at her and half heartedly smiled. We were all just standing there awkwardly but something about this girl wasn’t right. The way she stood and her voice, it wasn’t that her voice was annoying, it was like it was protective or something.

“Well that was confusing, but yes we are,” Geoff said turning around and giving her something before walking away. I stood there for a few seconds starring at her until I realized that he wasn’t coming back. I smiled and then slowly turned away from her and walked away. How awkward.

I caught up with Geoff and then walked with him in silence for a few seconds. I could feel the girl’s eyes staring at us and I felt creeped out and I was sure that Geoff did too. We got around the building and then Geoff turned around and sat down pulling out a joint. I looked at him and shook my head laughing knowing that he wouldn’t even bother to light it.

“I thought you weren’t going to smoke up while you were in Cuba, man? Thought you said Cuba was too amazing to get high in,” I said laughing. He just rolled his eyes and then put it back in his pocket. He got up and started walking again and so I followed him.

“How’s Lauren?” He asked, putting his hands in his pockets. What the hell was wrong with him? If he was going to care this much about how she was then he shouldn’t have pushed her away to begin with. I didn’t get him sometimes, he was as much of a mystery to me as he could be to everyone else.

“She was with Ethan at the beach,” I said sitting down beside him. I looked over at him and noticed that he was looking up at the sky in this really weird way. I just shrugged not knowing what to do and then pushed him over to get his attention. “Dude, what is up with you?”

“That girl back there that you saw, her name is Elizabeth and I know her from a few months ago at this party. I don’t know, man, I think I might like her. We spent the whole night talking about random things and she helped me forget about a lot of shit in my life. Ever have a girl make that kind of impression on you?” I just looked at him stunned. I guess this made sense though; it’s so much like Geoff to just fall in love with someone at first sight even if he’s already head over heels for someone else.

I nodded knowing what he meant; Mikenna had made that kind of impression on me and she’s been making amazing impressions on me from day one. Thinking about Mikenna made me think about Rylee though and so I tried to focus my thoughts away from the two of them.

“Wow,” I said after a few minutes of silence, “She’s probably a slut then,” I was trying to lighten the mood and it worked because he started laughing and shaking his head. I started laughing with him and it felt good to laugh today in this messed up world. I knew that he would rebel against my comment but that was exactly why I said it. It didn’t matter because the only girl Geoff had ever “fallen in love with at first sight,” that wasn’t a slut was Lauren.

“No, man. I mean; she’s great,” He said smiling and looking over at me. I just looked at him like he was nuts; he met this girl a month ago and had obviously forgotten about her until last night and now he was suddenly wanting to be with her. It would never work, not with anyone except Lauren. I knew that in a way this was his own way of getting her out of his mind.

“How about we party in your hotel tonight. Me, you, Elizabeth, a bunch of girls, and your roommates and no Lauren, Mikenna or Rylee are to know about it,” He looked over at me and smiled while standing up. I got up with him and patted him on the back before we started walking. “You in?”

“I’m so in,”