Just Admit That You Love Me

I was running and it was all I could do to try and get my mind off of what I just found out. I was trying very hard to keep my breathing steady because I wasn't going to cry. Not about this. Not about something that made me feel so stupid. Something that wasn't my fault whatsoever.

Who cares if Rylee and Tristyn were sneaking around behind my back? Certainly not me. Why should I care? It's completely his loss, not mine. Well this is what I keep telling myself anyways. At first I felt bad about going through Tristyn's phone while she got herself a beer, not I just didn't care. I had booked it out of there so fast, completely ignoring Tristyn's questions about why. I left the message open for her to read herself and figure it out. I can't go back to the hotel without murdering Tristyn and I can't go find Braxton because he won't even talk to me. I can't do anything, but run off into the distance with no place else to go but forward. I just couldn't believe this was happening to me.

I trusted them with everything I had in me. Tristyn was supposed to be my best friend! I dedicated myself to Rylee for the past three years as well and this is what I end up with. A pile of lies thrown at my feet and scattered into tiny bits. Clearly, I was never enough for Rylee. Was it because I wouldn't sleep with him? Is that why he decided to run off and start something with Tristyn? Because I wouldn't give him what his stupid hormones wanted? I hate him. I will never ever trust anybody like that again. I will never fully give my heart away to someone if this is all I'm going to be left with.

I kept running even though my legs burned and it was starting to get dark. I just needed to clear my head and escape reality for a little bit. It didn't matter how, it just needed to happen. I was sick of thinking about this. In fact, I'm now done thinking about this. Rylee and Tristyn deserve each other if they both thought that it was good idea to hurt me.

I was on the boardwalk now and I could see the lights and people in the distance. I remembered that beach party Tristyn had told me about and figured that a couple drinks would be good, even though I honestly didn't feel much like tasting liquid that liked to burn my throat. There was always a party going on at the beach though. I guess the people that actually lived here thought nothing of it because it was a tourist destination and there wasn't much you could do to stop people from partying.

I picked up my pace and continued running forward until I reached the party. There were so many people and there was so much noise. I really didn't feel like having to put up with this. I made my way over to the bar they had set up and grabbed a couple of drinks. I chugged the first two back in less than twenty seconds and then continued to drink until my legs felt wobbly and I had no idea how many I had had anymore. It didn't take long for my brain to start feeling the affects of the alcohol. I don't even know what it was I was drinking, which probably wasn't the best thing on my part.

I started to walk away, making sure to keep going forward and never backward. I knew that I wasn't walking in a straight line, but no one really bothered to help me, and I didn't mind. It felt like I was walking forever before I finally felt my legs collapse and I fell into the sand. I looked out at the water because every time I attempted to close my eyes, my head would feel extra dizzy. The dizziness I felt when I was opening my eyes was nowhere near as bad as when I was closing them. I had never been this drunk before in my entire life. I hated it. I felt nauseous and disgusting.

"Mikenna, is that you?" I heard a voice say in the distance. I looked over towards the noise and noticed Geof walking towards me. I raised my hand to give him a quick wave, but then he started running towards me. He looked funny though, like he was wobbling everywhere and his arms were flailing. I had a feeling that it was the alcohol though and not really what he was doing. "We have to get you back to the hotel."

He picked me up right when he got to me and flung me over his shoulders. Apparently I was so drunk that you could tell as soon as you saw me. Well that definitely was not a good thing. I started punching him and kicking him but he never stopped. He just kept walking. I didn't want to go back to the hotel though, not with the risk of seeing Tristyn there.

"Put meeeeedurn!" I screamed still punching him and trying to remove myself from his grasp. "Please. Lertme slep hur." I knew that my words were slurred and very hard to understand, but somehow he got what I was saying and put me down. He layed down on the sand and let me use his chest as a pillow. I just lay there, trying really hard not to close my eyes as he rubbed my back for me. I noticed him pull out his cell phone though; probably to call help. I didn't care much anymore though because I was beginning to feel tired and I guess I would rather sleep in a nice cozy bed.

I don't know how long we were laying there until I heard footsteps coming towards us. I was just focusing on keeping my eyes open so that the dizziness would go away somewhat. I felt so sick now and it just worsened when the guy, who I now knew was Braxton, helped me up and he and Geof made me walk a bit.

"Sorry man, I didn't know who else she'd listen to." Geof said as they helped me along the beach. It was going to take a while before we finally ended up at the hotel again. By now, my walking ability had worsened and I was basically gripping onto them for dear life so that I wouldn't fall down.

"It's fine. I'm glad you called." We walked in silence for a bit before Geof left due to an emergency message and it was just Braxton and I now. He had his arm securely around me and it made me feel safe. I was happy that Geof called him over instead of someone else. It was good to see Braxton, even if I was intoxicated.

He helped me up to our hotel room and I immediately booked it to the bathroom and threw up chunks of, I don't even know, into the toilet. I felt like I was dying. I was never getting this drunk again I don't care how good of an idea it seems like at the time. This feeling was horrible and I feel sorry for anybody who has gone through it.

"Just let it out." Braxton said softly as he walked into the bathroom, sat down beside me, and held my hair for me. It was probably disgusting for him to watch, but I was so grateful that he was there comforting me. I felt him start to rub my back as I continued to throw up. I was grossing myself out at the moment.

I was probably plastered to the toilet for a good two hours before the nausea subsided and all I felt was tiredness start to take over. Braxton picked me up and carried me over to my bed. He lay me down but then got in beside me where I without hesitation cuddled up to him. He wrapped his arms around me tightly and then before I knew it, I was balling. My tears were thick and blinding. I felt Braxton pull me even more closer to him for protection and then he let me cry.

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I had woken up in Braxton's arms and pulled him closer to me. I didn't want him to let go of me, ever. I missed the feeling of him touching me this way. Ever since that day outside of the elevator, we haven't talked at all. He's made it a point to stay out of the hotel at all hours of the day unless he's going to sleep. But even then, he tries to sleep somewhere else just to avoid me.

I couldn't lay there forever; not without showering and brushing my teeth first. I felt disgusting and dirty. I just needed to be clean and once I was I was never going to do what I did last night ever again. I can feel my head pounding too, so Advil will be nice.

I got up very quietly, trying my hardest not wake the beautiful boy laying there next to me. I started rummaging through my drawers until I found some underwear and then proceeded to the bathroom. I didn't wait two seconds because jumping out of my clothes and into the shower. The only problem with showering is that it's my thinking time, and I really didn't want to think about Rylee and Tristyn again.

I put twice as much shampoo in my hair as I normally would and lathered my body in soap. I was under no circumstances going to have any left over stench from my puke-fest lingering on my body. I got out of the shower and changed into my underwear before brushing my teeth. It wasn't until I went to open the door that I realized I had forgotten a change of clothes. I looked at the clothes I was wearing from the night before and picked them up. I was not putting them back on, I didn't want any reminders from last night attached to me anymore. I opened the door a crack and looked over at Braxton. He was still sleeping and I had managed to get to the bathroom without waking him before, maybe I could get back to my dresser without waking him again. It was worth a shot.

I ran over to my dresser, quickly, but quietly and dropped the clothes in my hands on the floor before looking for something to wear. I pulled out a pair of shorts and tank but I only had enough time to get the shorts on before I heard him speak.

"Putting on a show for me?" He asked smirking at me. I looked at him and rolled my eyes before throwing on my tank and hopping back into the bed. His arms wrapped themselves around me right away and I cuddled up to him without thinking.

"Thank you for what you did. It was probably gross as hell for you." I was looking at him while I said this, making sure that he knew just how thankful I was. There I was again though, getting lost in his blue eyes. Right then I realized that I did love Braxton. I couldn't deny it anymore, the attraction was there, the feelings were there, everything was there right under my nose.

"It was gross, but entirely worth it to be able to spend time with you again." I smiled at him and pulled him closer to me. "And I want you to know that I'm here for you if you need anything. I know that it must be rough for you considering... you know." I don't remember ever telling him anything, but I hardly remember a lot of things from last night. I just remember the basics of what happened.

"I told you?" I said trying to push back all of my thoughts on the subject. I didn't want to think about Rylee right now. I didn't want to think about Rylee ever again. Braxton just nodded at me sincerely. I could tell that was really concerned for me and abit surprised at how well I was taking it this morning compared to last night. I really am never drinking that much again.

I was resting my head on his chest now as he ran his fingers through my hair. It felt nice having my body against his. With every stroke of his fingers against my hair I could feel the butterflies in my stomach intensifying. How could I have ever ignored this feeling before? It was so strong. I moved my head so that it was just below his chin and then meeting me halfway we kissed. It was slow and passionate and full of life. It wasn't like any other kiss I had ever experienced before. It was the kind of kiss that had you not wanting to stop. He did though, he pulled away slowly and looked me straight in the eyes. "Mikenna," He said.

"Hmm." I said in response. I really wanted to be kissing him again. I couldn't help looking at his lips every two seconds. The way he said my name drove me insane. When did this sudden change occur? Has this feeling been with me the whole time? It definitely has to have been and I've just been pretending it didn't exist. Especially after he kissed me at the elevator before running off.

"Please, don't ever drink that much again." His eyes looked so intense, so serious. I could tell that I had probably scared him quite a bit last night and he never wanted a repeat of that ever again. It's okay though, because neither did I. I cupped his face with my hands and this time when I kissed him it was raw and intense and so very very passionate.