It Was Always You

After helping clean up the picnic, Kourtney had gone home and spent some time with her brother and his wife along with their kids. Although her life was in Los Angeles now, it didn't mean that she didn't miss her family, because she did. When she first moved there she hated it, she wanted to go home so badly, but her stubborn nature wouldn't allow it. After adjusting to her new life, she knew she had made the right decision on coming to Los Angeles, this was where she was meant to be. The only thing that made her miss Redlands was her family and friends that were still there.

After throwing on some black capri cut sweats and a white spaghetti strapped shirt, she grabbed a jacket and her bag before leaving. Getting into her car, she drove to the house where she had spent a lot of time. It had been a second home and it was also the place where she lost her heart. She always had a crush on Tristan's brother Landon, but she never did anything even when Tristan hinted that Landon might have felt the same way. When Tristan had told her that he was getting married, the hope that she would get to be the one to eventually marry him and really be part of the Donovan family faded away. It just wasn't meant to be, at least that was what she believed.

Going to the Donovan house to watch a movie or two like they had done countless times before made her think about what things could have been like. But it wasn't about her, it was about all of them being together again after so many years of being apart. As much as she didn't want to admit to it, Kourtney really did miss the movie nights on the weekends at the Donovan house.

"They're here," the beautiful blond child said as she bent down to the television.

It caused Kourtney goosebumps and she snuggled into Landon for comfort. Just as she had expected, they were all changed into more comfortable clothes and just like many times before, Tristan had forced her onto the loveseat with Landon. She didn't even get a say in what movie that they were about to watch and Tristan knew how much she disliked scary movies. She had moved to leave in order to get them to change the movie, but Landon just pulled her back down with a grin on his face.

“Try your best and don't scream,” he whispered into her ear. “Some people are sleeping.”

“Then you should have stopped your sister from putting in a scary movie. You know I never could stand them.” Kourtney said in a hushed tone.

“And you should know that she doesn't listen when she has her mind set on something.”

Digging her face into the side of his body, Kourtney let out a breath before moving to get up and leave the room,but Landon held onto her waist. “You aren't going to bail. You get to suffer through this with me.”

“She's never noticed when I've left all those other times.”

“But this time we aren't eighteen and I honestly don't want to be left alone with my sister and her friend.”

“Then come with me,” Kourtney grinned at him. “What do you have to lose?”

“Can't you just enjoy the movie?” he asked her, his hand running up and down her arm, from under the blanket that was thrown over them. She had left her jacket in her car and didn't want to go and get it so he had taken the blanket off the back of the couch and tossed it on her before sitting down next to her. That was when she came closer and wrapped it around him as well.

“You know what scary movies do to me,” Kourtney told him. “Please? For my sanity?”

Taking her hand under the blanket, he tossed it on the other side of the couch before looking at where his sister and her friend were on the larger couch and had their eyes glued to the TV. “Come with me and be quiet.”

“Am I gonna get cold? Can I grab my jacket in my car if we are going somewhere?”

Standing up, Landon pulled her with him and didn't let go of her hand until they got into the kitchen, he dropped her hand and had her put on the LA Galaxy jacket he had left downstairs. When she zipped it up, he looked at her with a smile, before taking her hand and opening the back door leading to the large backyard they had.

“So why are we out here?”

“Because I don't want to watch the movie anymore than you did.”

“Then why didn't you get Tristan to change it?” Kourtney asked. “She looked at you as if you had any objections and you had none.”

“I wasn't really paying attention to what she was saying.”

Kourtney dropped his hand and walked onto the grass. “Do you remember the last time we were together?”

“This afternoon.”

Picking up the soccer ball, she glared at him. “I meant the last time we were alone, no one else around.”

“What are you getting at?” Landon asked as he jogged over to where she had kicked the ball to.

“Do you remember?” she asked, not looking at him. She looked everywhere but at his face.

“Prom night when I took-” Landon stopped mid-sentence when he realized that she wasn't going for that detailed of an answer.

“My virginity?” Kourtney asked. “What? All of a sudden you can't say it?”

“I didn't mean to-”

“Did you ever wonder why I never said good-bye or told you that I was leaving?” Kourtney asked.

“I figured that you just wanted out like you were always talking about. I knew you were tired of your parents constant fighting.”

“They weren't the reason I left.”

“Then why did you leave?”

“Because of you and your disregard for my feelings and for me in general.”

“Kourtney, what in the hell are you talking about?”

“You made me the talk of the high school soccer team. Everyone was talking about how you had me on prom night that you took my virginity. Did you even think about me when you ran your mouth to the team who told all their friends so it was all over the school?”

“You couldn't have been that mad over it,” Landon said. “It was high school.”

“But I was in love with you!” Kourtney shouted. “How do you think I felt? Now do you understand why I didn't want anything to do with you? Why do you think your sister, never really mentioned me after I left to you? My family and your sister were the only ones to know where I was and why I left.”

“Your family knows?”

“They knew that something happened between us, but not the details, but your sister knows the details. I had to talk to someone and my family wasn't an option.”

“I'm sorry,” Landon told her as he dropped the ball and walked towards her as she crossed her arms over her chest. “I never meant to hurt you. You should have told me how you felt.”

“Yeah, because that's the type of person I was. You knew I was shy about things and you want me to tell my best friends brother that I was in love with him?”

“Okay, I get your point.”

“Do you?” Kourtney asked him. “Because for so long I've been mad at you.”

“It isn't like you told me.”

“I was hoping you'd figure it out and come after me,” Kourtney confessed. “But once I hit the highway I knew I was kidding myself and that you were better off than having Tristan's best friend pinning away for you.”

“I really wish you would have told me sooner than years down the road from when this happened.”

“Would it have changed anything?”

“Yeah, it would have.”

“Can't change the past or the fact that you have a wife.”

“Not for that much longer.”

“I'm sorry to hear that.”

“Are you really?” he asked.

“Just because you treated me with no respect doesn't mean I am a heartless bitch.”

“What does it mean?” Landon asked. “For the future of our friendship.”

“You shouldn't worry about me. I'm not important. What you need to worry about is saving your marriage.”

“Who says your not important?” he asked standing right in front of her. “Do you honestly think that little of yourself?”

“Like I said, its not important.”

“Yes it is!” Landon said raising his voice slightly. “It would have changed everything.”

“You can't change something that wasn't ever meant to happen.”

“Why do you get to say what is and what isn't meant to be? What gives you the right?”

“Are you disagreeing with me?” Kourtney asked.

“Yes.”

Before she could start on one of her famous rants that left him more annoyed than anything else, her phone started ringing from the pocket of her capris. Taking the object out of her pocket, she looked at the screen of her iphone and was surprised and slightly worried that Charlie was calling. He knew where she was and he wouldn't be calling if it truly wasn't important.

Touching the green button to accept the call, she took a deep breath before placing the phone to her ear. “Charlie? Are you okay?”

“I'm sorry, Kourtney, but I need you to come over and watch the kids. I know they are sleeping, but I need to go with Dani. Somethings wrong.”

“Okay, I'm leaving right now anyways. I'll be there soon.”

Hanging up her phone, she didn't say anything as she put her phone back into her the pocket of her pants and started walking towards the back door.

“Wait, please,” Landon called out to her as he followed her to the door. “Please let me tell you something that I've wanted to say to you for sometime now.”

“Landon, I need to-”

His lips fell on hers for a quick kiss. It didn't last long. Just enough to make her speechless so he could finally tell her what it was that he needed to say.

“If you hadn't left then I wouldn't have married Bianca. I would have married you. I was in love with you since high school. If you hadn't have left then I would have married you.”

“Don't you dare,” Kourtney glared at him. “You were the reason I left. And just because you can't make your marriage work and might have some illegitimate child, you want someone to blame. I'll tell you who to blame. Look in the mirror and you'll see who is at fault. And just because I told you how I feel doesn't mean that you have to bullshit me. I'm not as young or stupid as I used to be. My family needs me. Have a nice life Landon.”

This time she didn't look back. She explained to Tristan the phone call from her brother and so she had to leave. Grabbing her bag and shoes, Kourtney left the Donovan house near tears. When she got to her brother's house, she didn't even knock, she walked in since he had sent her a text letting her know the front door was open for her. After they got there, her brother and sister-in-law left and she locked the door before checking on the kids. Making her way to the guest room where Noel was fast asleep in her crib. Before laying down for the night, she checked on Max to find him fast asleep with both his stuffed Woody and Buzz Lightyear under his arm. With a small smile, she closed the door, leaving it open slightly.

Placing her phone on the bedside table, she realized she had Landon's jacket still and she had no intention of seeing him again. Crawling into bed, she let a few tears fall. She couldn't help it. For such a long time, she wanted to hear him tell her that she was the one he loved, but she wasn't sure if she ever wanted to see him again. What he told her, it was more like high school drama than anything else and she had better things to do with her life than to deal with high school drama when she had long ago left high school behind her.

“Sometimes the dream really is better than reality.”