Of Confidence

"You...what? When?!" Kennedy yelled, more than asked.

"The night before you guys left for tour," she responded, letting pain take her in his hateful arms again.

"How?" He asked, the look of complete shock never leaving his face.

"Didn't you take health?" Melanie chuckled between tears.

"I mean, did you kiss him or what?"

"I asked him to kiss me," she honestly replied.

"Then why are you crying?" Kennedy asked, his tone turning from anger to sympathy.

Melanie gulped, not ready to let herself fall back into what John had done to her, but it was inevitable. Every time she thought of that night her body felt complete, then it felt as if nothing was right anymore, she wasn't supposed to live like this, "The next morning..."

"Yeah...?"

"He was gone," she whispered, her tears began falling harder and she could see her mascara running down her cheeks which had gone pale.

"He left you?" Kennedy forced through his teeth. "He left you. I cannot believe that son of a..." He trailed off. Kennedy took a deep breath. "I'm going to kill him. Painfully."

"Kenny-"

"No, Melanie! Do not defend him. John doesn't sleep with you, then leave you the next morning without saying anything! I will not let him hurt you like that anymore."

Melanie remembered the note. "He did leave a note."

"What did it say?"

"I love you, but I can't do this," she replied shaking her head. His words still burned like salt in an open wound.

"That douche bag. Maybe that's why he's acting so weird lately," Kennedy said. "Has he called you yet?"

"No," she whispered pathetically. She realized Justin was right, sex was all John wanted from her.

"Was it...were you a virgin?" Kennedy asked quietly.

"Yeah," She whispered just as quiet.

Kennedy shook his head. A few moments later he grabbed her hand. He rubbed circles on her palm and brought it to his lips before standing up. "I should get you home."

Melanie didn't want to leave the park though because being there with Kennedy was starting to make her feel complete again. Kennedy put his arms around her shoulders and walked her back to the limo where they rode to her house in complete silence.

She could tell Kennedy was angry by how white his knuckles were as he balled them into fists at his sides. He began rubbing his temples and she could feel frustration flowing out of his body like waves on a beach. She wanted to comfort him, but she didn't know what to say. She couldn't even help herself.

She didn't even truly know why he was hurting though, Melanie realized. Was it because she kissed him and then told him she slept with his best friend? And that's where the confusing part came in the most; she knew she wanted that kiss as much as Kennedy did.

Melanie tore herself away from her thoughts as they pulled up to her house and looked at Kennedy who was staring at her. "You're gorgeous, Melanie. John doesn't deserve you."

"If John isn't good enough, then who is?" She asked. John was the only boy she had ever pictured herself with, except for today. Today was the first day she saw someone besides John, and she didn't know if it was because she wanted Kennedy or because she just simply missed John.

"You deserve someone who the only girl he sees is you. Someone who will think about you every day. Someone who sees your beauty even when you're in sweat pants. Someone who goes crazy at just the thought of you. Someone who dreams of having you and your touch all to himself forever. Someone who would rather be completely miserable, than see you unhappy. Someone who loves you, the way you love John."

Melanie was speechless as she stared into Kennedy eyes that only spoke the truth.

"Kennedy," she let his name roll off of her tongue in a pleading whisper, her hand reaching out to touch his cheek. He cupped his hand around her own, his skin was warm. "Do you want to come inside?" She asked shyly.

She wanted Kennedy, and she knew he wanted her as well. Melanie watched as temptation flickered in his eyes, but then he gradually moved their hands apart. "I don't think that's a good idea, Mel."

"Why not?" She asked, rejection taking its place over the goose bumps Kennedy's warm skin had given her.

"I leave early tomorrow. I want to be there when you wake up," Kennedy replied.

"Well, it's differ-"

He cut her off. " And because, I know you still love John."

Melanie sighed. "Kennedy."

"I can see it in your eyes when someone brings him up. You get this look on your face when he's with you, also. It's like nothing else matters. And I can tell when you're thinking about him, because you aimlessly draw little hearts on any object near you with your fingers. It's cute...I just wish it was me who made you do those things."

Melanie could feel heat in her cheeks as they fell into an uncomfortable silence.

"I should go," Kennedy whispered, breaking their stillness.

"No, you should stay."

"Melanie-"

"I'm wearing the lingerie! Aren't you a tad interested?"

Kennedy chuckled. "A bit more than a tad, but it's wrong."

Melanie sighed again realizing that this wasn't going to happen. John didn't only break her heart but when she wanted to move on he was making it impossible even when he was no where around.

"Good bye, Melanie."

"At least walk me to my door. You don't have to come in, just come on," she said, grabbing Kennedy's hand and pulling him out of the car.

He interlaced their fingers as he walked her to her door, and gave her a soft smile. "Bye, Mel."

Melanie watched as he began to lean forward to kiss her cheek, but she grabbed his chin and directed his lips to meet her own. He was stiff against her, but that didn't stop her. She parted his lips with her tongue and he soon became responsive. She kissed him with the passion that they had earlier before slowing down her lips. He gave her one last gentle kiss before she pulled away from him.

"Bye, Kenny," She smiled before walking into her house, leaving him wanting more.

_________________________________________

Melanie laid on her couch flipping through the extra channels on her Cox Communication television. She couldn't shake the feeling that Kennedy gave her in her bones that night, and maybe that's why she couldn't stop on one channel; she couldn't focus for two seconds without thinking of his lips.

She looked at the clock on the cable box beneath her flat screen TV and became concerned as she saw the time: 2:33. Haley wasn't home yet. She was still out her with Justin and Melanie knew she wouldn't be able to sleep until she was home.

She laid her head back on the couch as she used her fingers to comb out her damp hair. She watched the show she had settled on and she felt an emotional tie to the boy who was on the screen.

All Seth Cohen wanted was to be able to choose between Summer, the girl he had always loved, and Anna the girl who was perfect for him and who had taken him by surprise.

Melanie groaned as Sandy told his son that he would have to make a choice soon, because being with them both would make the one who didn't get picked hurt more than she would if he would just pick one of them sooner or later.

She closed her eyes as stretched her body out over the plush tan sofa, pulling her cell phone out of the front pocket of her sweatshirt. She pushed her screen up exposing the keyboard that sat below it. She stared at the picture on the screen, shame wrapping itself around her like a blanket. She felt baffled as a small smile placed itself on her lips as she remembered the day the picture was taken.

You're a tool, John," Melanie smiled.

John looked at her from his place in the small tree house and grinned. "I am not a tool. How dare you!"

"You just sat there and took pictures of yourself for like an hour now," she chuckled.

He adjusted himself to where he was sitting on her lap, his legs draped over hers. "I see, you're just jealous that you're not in them."

"I don't think that's it , John," she continued to laugh.

"No, it's okay, I understand," He smiled at her. "Let's take pictures, Melanie. Best friend pictures." He turned the camera from himself as he pointed her camera on her phone at the two, licking her face just as the flash went off, sending her into a fit of squeals in the photo.

Melanie's smile faded as she heard her front door slam shut and her sister walk into the residence. She could hear quiet sobs coming from the girl's lips as she slid down the wall in the entrance of the house.

She got up from her place on the couch as she ran over to her sister's quivering body on the wooden floor. Melanie wrapped her arms around Haley as her salty tears made a circle of mascara on eyeliner on her white The Maine t shirt.

"Haley what happened?" Melanie asked in a hushed tone, trying not to wake her parents who were upstairs sleeping. She grabbed her hand as she picked Haley up by her elbow, dragging her into the pitch black kitchen. The only light seeping in was from the window above the sink, letting rays from the street lights outside shine in.

Her sister collapsed onto a bar stool, and let her tear stained cheek fall to the counter. "Justin...Just-in broke up with me," she said through her weeps.

Melanie turned to the stainless steel freezer and pulled out some Ben & Jerry's ice cream. She pulled two spoons out of a drawer and placed them in front of Haley, while taking a seat next to her.

Melanie could barely see her sister's green eyes in the poorly lit kitchen, but she could see that her sister was experiencing her first heart break. "What'd he say to you, Haley?"

"He told me," she began to choke out. "He couldn't date a girl who didn't pleasure him."

Melanie tried to hold back her smile. "You didn't have sex with him..."

Haley shook her head, agreeing silently.

"Haley, don't be sad...you don't need that crap, and the right guy won't make you," she said taking a spoonful of ice cream and shoving it into her mouth.

Haley perched her chin on her elbow that was laying on the counter and looked up at her, "I'm sorry I told Justin about what John did to you."

Melanie nodded her head, "It's okay. I'm just glad you're done with him. How'd you found out I knew?"

Haley gulped. "He told me..."

Melanie watched as tears began pouring down her sister's cheeks again. "What'd he say Haley?"

"He asked me why I couldn't give it all away like you did to John..."

"What'd you say?"

"I told him I didn't love him like you loved John," Haley said quietly.

Melanie softly smiled, "I'm proud of you, Haley. Even when you are in love, sex isn't worth it all the time."

Haley's sobs slowed, and with the tears fading away the ice cream did as well.

"Melanie, you're always giving me advice and I have some for you...sometimes people don't always know how to react to things. Like me almost having sex with Justin before we talked today, and maybe you should could cut John some slack. I think John is the one you need to be with," Haley said a few moments later.

Her grin slowly faded, "Why do you say that?"

"Because he completes you, Melanie. You're his better half and he's yours. Now, I could definitely tell that you like Kennedy though and all I have to say is that if you fall for him now when John is gone, and John gets back and you realize you still absolutely love him you will regret it, because it'll hurt Kennedy so much more."

Melanie looked away from her sister. "Maybe Kennedy is what I need though," she tried to convince herself.

Haley shrugged as she sat up from the barstool putting the ice cream back in the freezer. "One of them you want, and one of them you need. That's for you to figure out."

Melanie gave her sister one more hug before excusing herself into her bedroom. She laid down on her purple comforter and let her head sink into her pillows.

She saw the light on her cell phone brighten up, signaling she had a text. She was expecting Kennedy wishing her a good night, but she was surprised with what she saw.

FWD: Send this to the one person you can't go a day thinking without thinking about. -John O'Callaghan

Melanie felt her breath catch as she read the message, realizing the truth she'd been hiding from herself. John wasn't only the boy she wanted, he was also the one she needed. But, he wasn't the one she knew was better for her.

She stared at the text he had sent her just a moment earlier, pressing the forward button on her list of options on her phone. She clicked two names, going against the whole point of the message on letting the one person you love know.

She pressed the names Kennedy Brock and John O'Callaghan suddenly feeling guilty that neither of them would know that they weren't the only people getting this text from her; but what she didn't know was that she wasn't the only one who had received the text as well.