Of Confidence

John wiped the sweat off of his face as he ran off the stage, a huge smile on his face. Girls in the arena were still screaming "I love you, John!" along with shouts for a second encore. To him, this life would never get old.

John smiled as he walked up to Taylor, engulfing her in a sweat filled hug and giving her a soft kiss.

“Good job tonight, Johnohh,” she smiled.

John laughed, “Not you too.”

All John had heard these days was "Johnohh" this and that, and it got on his nerves. It didn't sound as good as when it was coming from their lips, not as good as it sounded coming from Melanie's.

“God, I love being on tour! Is it just me or do the crowds get louder and louder every night?” Kennedy smiled following John to the bus with the guys.

“Pretty soon we’ll be headlining,” Jared exclaimed.

“Heck yeah we will man,” Garrett laughed. “They’ll have to open up convention centers for us.”

John chuckled at the visions that he dreamt of at night along with the guys, and laughed remembering the first garage practice they had had two years ago. Things had changed, but they were mostly for the good; mostly.

John cleaned himself up before walking hand in hand with Taylor to watch the sickest kids perform before they headed to the airport to fly to another part of Europe, finishing their last week of tour.

John patted his left pocket, feeling the piece of paper that he had angrily balled up and left there. Melanie was supposed to be here was all that that ticket in his pocket shouted. It made his body writhe; he wanted her there.

The bus was silent as the guys tried to sleep on the hour drive to the airport, but John couldn’t find sleep.
Every time he closed his eyes she was there; her blue eyes shining into his own as if she was reading his mind. He could see the left side of her lip beginning to pull up as she smiled at him and he watched slowly as her lips parted and her harmonic laugh came out making his heart beat faster. He could see her long blonde hair waving in the wind, framing her facing perfectly, the scent of berries blowing towards him. He could feel the soft way her lips pressed against his and the rare way that they both knew that they were right together without any words.

John felt a body come lay against his as he tore his thoughts away from her, for she was all he could ever seem to think about. “Hey Tay,” he whispered, keeping his voice quiet so he wouldn’t wake the guys.

She smiled up at John. “My bed doesn’t feel as comfortable when you’re not there.”

John faked a smile and pulled her tighter into his arms hoping she could once again fill the gaping hole in his chest. “I’m sorry, honey. I just can’t sleep.”

She sighed. “Neither can Kennedy. Apparently he’s been trying to call Melanie, but she’s not taking his calls.”

John felt butterflies gather in his stomach even though he was trying to ignore them. He couldn't help but to hope that they were over. He played it off composedly. “Hmm. That sucks.”

Taylor looked up at him. “Are you okay John? You always get quiet whenever I talk about Melanie. Is there anything you want me to know?”

John looked down at her and put on the most serious face he could. “There is nothing between her and me.”

“Then why is she the screensaver on your phone? Why whenever Kennedy talks about her you stop talking at all? That’s not normal for best friends…and how come when you’re kissing or even saying something sweet to me I feel like you’re pretending it’s her.”

John stared into her eyes, amazed at the words she was speaking, “Taylor, you are the only girl I want. You’re beautiful, smart, sexy, and funny. You know how to make me laugh. You know what I need to hear and when. You know exactly how to touch me and make me crazy. I knew since I met you that I wanted you. I love you.”

She smiled and pressed her lips to his. “I love you too, John O’Callaghan.”

And that's when John realized that Taylor could see right through him; she was right, he wasn't seeing or kissing her. In his heart he had always been wishing he was speaking to and kissing Melanie.

__________

“Flight 307, your boarding will begin in five minutes.”

John listened to the flight attendant who spoke over the loud speaker. He sat up and wiped the sleep out of his eyes, looking over to Kennedy who was on his phone.

“Melanie, I don’t know what’s going on…or why you won’t answer my calls. I’m really starting to worry about you; it’s been a couple of days. I really hope you aren’t mad at me. Please call me back sweet heart, I miss you. All right, Well, I love you. Please say you’re okay.” He hung up the phone before sighing and burying his face in his hands.

John looked down at his phone and it read 12:39. Hopefully she was sound asleep, perfectly safe, he thought to himself.

“Okay, those on flight 307 to London may start boarding now.”

The bands in the airport all stood up gathering their carryon luggage when John's phone began to vibrate. He pulled it out of his pocket and looked at the name with curiosity: Haley Hendricks. He couldn't help but to wonder why she was calling him. He put the phone to his ear, “Hey Haley, what’s up?”

“John,” she said, and he could unmistakably hear her sobbing through her words. “Please come home.”

“Haley, what’s wrong?” He asked with a new urgency in his voice, causing the guys to look at him with worried expressions that he was sure matched his own.

“It’s Melanie…”

And, before she could even finish her sentence he was running to buy a ticket on the next flight to Arizona.

_________

John stormed through the door of the Hendricks's home without even so much as a knock on the door even though it was nearly four in the morning.

He ran up the stairs, taking them in twos to find Haley sitting on the floor of Melanie's bedroom, tears falling down her cheeks. Her eyes were bloodshot red and had deep black circles beneath them. He watched as he ran to her wrapping her arms tightly around his thin frame.

John listened as she spoke all at once. “I’m so sorry John. I didn’t know what else to do. She won’t talk to me or tell me what happened. I barely saw her and she looked horrible. She’s been in there for three days and my parents are in Australia and have no phone connection. She won’t come out and I’m scared. I’m so scared.”

“Shhh, Shhh,” he cooed, trying to calm her. “It’ll be okay. Just go get some sleep. Try and let me talk to her.”

Haley meekly nodded her head and walked out of the room, closing the door behind her. John walked up to the bathroom door and pressed his ear against the white painted wood. He didn’t hear any sounds from the other side of the door. “Melanie?” He asked softly.

John got the chills as he heard a soft whimper. “Go away,” she said hostilely in her voice.

He became scared; had bringing Taylor really hurt her this badly? Should he have begged her to come to London? Should he have kissed her lips once more before he left? “Melanie, babe, open the door please,” he pleaded.

“No, John. Get away from here and leave me alone.”

“I am going to break through this door in five seconds if you don’t open it.” John said angrily, concern overpowering every emotion he had in his being.

He waited ten seconds and nothing happened, he braced himself before he ran himself into the door crushing it down. It flew open and all he could see was a mess.

The mirror was broken into pieces on the counter and the shower curtain was ripped onto the floor. Makeup and bathroom utensils covered the ground and among the disorder were spots of blood.

He raised his eyes from the chaos around the room to the girl who was cowering in the corner, her arms securely wrapped around her knees.

Her hair was a mess around her, tied in knots everywhere. Her makeup ran down her cheeks and below her left eye was a deep gash. She sat in her underwear, a thin white bra covering her bust and grey panties covering her bottom. There were bruises flowering over her skin that were more apparent without the clothes. The two bruises that shone the most were the prints of hands around her wrists.

John moved closer to her, taking slow steps and with each stride she moved her body farther away from him, hiding on the side of the toilet next to the wall trying to get farther and farther away. She acted as if he was a monster.

Tears rolled down her cheeks and he could hear soft whimpers in her voice.

She pleaded for him to discontinue walking towards her whispering ‘stop, please’ with each and every footstep. She was scared, he could see that plainly on her face. She was begging him to stay away like he was there to end her life.

“Stop!” she yelled. “Please stop.” She began crying harder as John approached right in front of her and halted.

“Melanie, what happened to you?” He asked softly, trying to hold back the tears that were forming in his own eyes.

She sobbed into her arms before looking up at him, her eyes showing how broken she was before she barely choked out her next words. “He raped me.”