Of Confidence

Melanie sat at her desk, counting down the seconds that were left on the black and white clock at the front of the room. She impatiently tapped her foot along with the quiet sounds of music she could hear from the iPod that the boy next to her had. She began humming along to Mark Hoppus’s voice as her heart began pounding. Today was Friday; she had less than twenty four hours left with her best friend. The final bell rang, and Melanie quickly walked to her locker, expecting John to be waiting there as he had been every other day that week, but she was surprised with who she saw.

She smiled, “Hey Kenny.”

"Hello Melanie," Kennedy smiled, leaning against the locker adjacent to hers.

"What are you doing here?" Melanie asked, putting her books in her locker for the weekend.

"Kidnapping you!" He exclaimed. "John has been hogging you ever since we found out about tour and it isn't fair."

Melanie laughed, “Did you ask John for permission?”

"Well, uh..." Kennedy began to mumble.

"Oh God! What did you do to him?" She laughed.

"We kind of locked him in the van..." Kennedy mumbled while rubbing the back of his neck.

Melanie couldn’t help but to giggle when she pictured the small pout that would be on John’s lips. "Wow. He's going to kill you!"

"It's worth it," Kennedy replied smiling.

"So what do you have in mind?" she asked, shutting her locker door and following Kennedy to his car.

"Late lunch, is that okay with you?"

"It's perfect,” Melanie smiled.

The two held quiet conversation in the car on the way to Melanie’s favorite restaurant. She felt her lips pull up in a smile as she listened to Kennedy hum Third Eye Blind, and she realized how much she was going to miss him as well as John. Since he had discovered her feelings Kennedy had been a secret support system to her, listening to all of her confusion.

Kennedy held the door to the small diner open as Melanie walked in and sat in the red booth in the corner of the shop. The waitress took their orders, sneakily checking Kennedy out as well, and then left them to themselves.

Kennedy looked at Melanie, a small smile on his lips. “I figured lunch would give us some time to hang out, but not enough time for John to kill himself.”

She chuckled, “You act as if John and I can’t without each other for an hour.”

Kennedy looked at her like she was ridiculous, “Are you kidding me, Melanie? What’s the longest period of time you haven’t seen him?”

Melanie contemplated this. Family vacations they always spent together, his family was hers. He had never been on tour, or had a sick grandparent or anything. They really never had been a part for more than three days. “Three days,” she mumbled, pathetically realizing that Kennedy was right.

“Isn’t that when you guys were fighting over Taylor?”

Melanie nodded her head. Taylor Reese was Satan. She was a slut, she was a complete douche bag, and she wanted nothing more than John O’Callaghan and Melanie Hendricks to not be friends so that she could sink her teeth into him. “He went to her birthday party after she pulled down my skirt in the hall way.”

Kennedy laughed. “You looked good in that thong.”

Melanie threw a French fry from her plate at him, “Shut up.”

He chuckled, “Just being honest there, sweet heart.”

“I hate her,” Melanie mumbled.

“You know she goes to college at UCLA? We’re playing a show there…she already called me to tell me she’s coming,” Kennedy chuckled.

She rolled her eyes. “She’s just pathetic.”

‘I think someone’s just jealous. She’s really not as bad now, it’s been what? Two years?” he said, taking a bite of his burger.

“Why would I be jealous of Taylor?”

“Because she gets to see John,” he said simply.

“John hates her,” Melanie said.

“He used to; she’s really not that bad Melanie. You’d probably get along with her now,” Kennedy said.

Melanie grunted. “Whose side are you on, Kennedy?”

“Yours, yours, I’m sorry,” he chuckled, “touchy subject.”

Melanie rolled her eyes. “I just don’t like rude people. But anyways, are you excited?”

Kennedy’s cheeks lit up. “You have no idea, Melanie. It’s like this could actually happen you know? I could do what I love for a living. I won’t have to be stuck behind a desk at my dad’s firm.”

Melanie smiled, “I wish I could be there.”

He pouted, “I do too. It’s not the same without our number one merch girl!”

“Yeah, but you have Chelsea. She’ll do great,” she replied.

“If she doesn’t suck face with Jared the whole time!” Kennedy retorted, laughing.

“Jealous that Jared has someone to kiss?” Melanie teased.

“No, that’s what groupies are for!” He yelled, and she couldn’t help but to laugh.

“Oh, okay, Kennedy, good luck with that!”

He looked at her from the corner of his eye, a small smile tugging on his lips. “Jealous?”

“Of the girls that get to kiss you? Never,” Melanie said, a teasing smile on her lips.

“Shoot, if I was you, I’d be jealous. I’m an amazing kisser,” Kennedy laughed.

Melanie joined in his infectious laughter. She looked at the cute smile that adorned his cheeks, and how his eyes brightened up when he looked at her. His boyish looks brought a grin to her lips as she realized just how cute she really thought Kennedy was.

“Mmm, all right, maybe I’m a little jealous,” she smiled.

“Baby, we can make out anytime you want,” he said, with a wink.

Melanie giggled, before sighing. “I will miss you a lot, Kennedy Brock.”

He grinned, a look in his eyes that she couldn’t read, “I’ll miss you too, Mel.”

The two held comfortable conversation as Kennedy paid the bill and took Melanie to rescue John. She laughed, remembering that Kennedy said they locked John in the van, but then a question came to her mind. “Wait, couldn’t John unlock the van from the inside?” She asked, as she stepped out of Kennedy’s car and to the sidewalk outside of John’s house.

"He could, but..." Kennedy started and then she followed his gaze until she saw the van. Garrett and Pat were guarding the outside with super soakers, while Jared was on the inside with John. Melanie looked in the window of the van and saw a duct taped, writhing John.

"Hey Melanie!" Pat said as he hugged walked up to her and gave her a tight hug.

"Hi Pat! Hey Garrett," she said as Garrett came and joined the hug.

They soon released her and she made her way to the van’s sliding door. She pulled the handle slowly and as she did she was tackled to the ground by an eager John.

"Ow, John, get off," she mumbled. He pointed to the tape on his mouth with his eyes and Melanie pulled it off.

"That's what she said," John said as soon as the tape was off.

Melanie rolled her eyes. “That was a good one, John,” she said, sarcastically.

"Want to find out?" He lifted his eyebrows and smirked.

"What are you even talking about?" She laughed while pushing John off of her small body that he was pinning to the concrete.

"John wants to bang you," Kennedy laughed.

"No Kennedy, that's you remember?" John smirked.

Melanie watched as a blush crept up on Kennedy’s cheeks and he pushed his sunglasses down over his eyes.

Melanie felt John grab her hand, and begin pulling her towards his house. "Well if you guys don't mind, I'm stealing Melanie. You can say goodbye tomorrow, let's just go."

"Uh, bye guys!" She said, stealing one last look at Kennedy’s brooding features, as John pulled her up his porch steps and into his house.

Melanie followed John to his room as she looked at the clothes that covered all parts of his floor that were once visible. “John! You told me that you were almost done packing!”

He pouted and sat down in a pile of clothes. “I was, but then I realized that it meant I was really leaving.”

She ran her hand through his hair slowly, a small smile on her face as she realized that he was in as much denial about him leaving as she was. “You’ll have a great time, Hun.”

John looked at the clothes around him then back to her blue eyes. “Will you help me pack back up?”

She nodded her head as she pulled the suitcases off of the floor, placing them on his bed. She began picking baseball tees, v necks, and tank tops up off of his floor and neatly folding them into his bag as John got together all his hair products.

Melanie laughed, “I think you care more about your hair than me, John.”

He ran his hand through his hair smiling, “Got to look good for all the fans.”

Melanie couldn’t help the jealously that arose in her stomach. She wanted to be the one he looked good for, because he was the one she strived to impress.

She continued folding clothes and a few moments later John’s door opened, exposing a tall woman with dark sandy blond hair. "Hello, Melanie," she said with a smile.

"Hi Mrs. O'Callaghan," She replied as she continued folding John's clothes.

"John, your dad and I are going to a banquet tonight with Mel's family. I don't know what time we'll be home. No parties, and Melanie, you know you're always welcomed to stay," she said as Melanie smiled and nodded. “Your brothers are at a friend’s house, so it’ll just be you tonight. Melanie, the guest room is ready for you if you stay. The weather outside is horrible so I don’t know if you want to be at home alone because Hayley is at Marissa’s.”

Melanie looked outside John’s window and watched as the wind blew the trees outside his window roughly against the black sky. “Thanks, Mrs. O.”

“Of course dear,” she said smiling. “John, come lock up.”

John walked downstairs with his mother, saying his farewell’s to his parents now in case they weren’t awake in the morning. Melanie continued folding the last of John’s clothes. She struggled to pull the zipper shut, finally resorting to laying her entire body on the suitcase to put pressure on it to close.

She heard a chuckle from behind her as she sighed and wiped a bead of sweat from her forehead. “You’re welcome!” She laughed. She looked around the room, it wasn’t empty, but you could definitely tell that no one would be here for a while.

She looked at John who had two glasses of chocolate milk in his hands. He lifted them, “I brought your favorite.”

"Ah! I love you," She squealed as she grabbed her glass from him and began drinking it.

"I love you too, Melly," He said, softly smiling, before he began drinking his own.

Melanie smiled as the cold chocolate hit her throat, cooling her heated skin. She felt some of the milk stay above her upper lip, giving her a mustache and she used her tongue to lick it off. She turned up to John who was staring at her. “What?”

"You may be my best friend, but you're still a girl. And Melanie, that was extremely sexy," he said.

She felt a blush creep up on her cheeks. "Shut up, you're just horny," she replied, trying to cover her flushed cheeks.

John looked down before looking back at her, a mischievous look on his lips, “Let’s play a game.”

“Like what?” Melanie asked, before taking a seat on his computer desk.

“Truth or dare?” He questioned, taking a seat across from her on his bed.

Melanie smiled. “Dare.”

“I dare you…to lick my dirty window.”

She cringed, before getting up and letting her tongue leave it’s mark on the window. She wasn’t one to back down.

John laughed as she used her hand to wipe off her tongue. “I haven’t cleaned that like, ever.”

Melanie’s face scrunched up with a disgusted look. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth,” he smiled, as she rolled her eyes.

“Wimp, but okay,” she began. She racked her brain. After all these years there really wasn’t anything that she didn’t know about John; except one. “What…what-uh, what was last night about?” She stammered.

John sighed before he looked down. He was quiet for a moment before finally turning his hazel-blue eyes to her. “I’m just going to miss you a lot, Mel.”

Melanie looked away frustrated; he didn’t really answer her question and she was still dying to know if she made him feel the way that he so often did to her, especially last night. She rolled her eyes, masking her emotions. “I’m going to miss you more, John,” she said quietly.

She watched as he opened his mouth to say something, but quickly shut it. “Truth or dare?” He said after some time.

“Dare,” she said. She watched as he stood up, slowly closing the distance between them.

“I dare you to prove how much you’re going to miss me,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. He was standing in front of her now, his lower thighs touching her knees. Melanie felt the all too familiar butterflies come back in her stomach as he placed his hands on either side of the desk, resting on top of hers.

His eyes showed uncertainty as he looked at her, but he didn’t back away from her.

Melanie softly chewed on her lower lip. “And how do you want me to do that John?” She asked, her voice as quiet as his was.

John hesitantly lifted his hands from hers and tentatively put them on her hip bones. His face inched closer to hers and he rested his forehead against hers. He was silent, not answering her question once again.

“Truth or dare, John?” She whispered. Melanie looked into his eyes that were deeply staring into her own, searching her eyes for emotion.

“Dare,” he said in a breath.

“Kiss me,” she said quietly.

She could taste his sweet breath breathing onto her lips and she died for him to close the distance between them. He looked into her eyes once more before she saw him close his eyes, and she closed hers as well. She felt his lips slowly pushing onto hers as he kissed her softly. He moved his lips against hers as they moved together perfectly in sync. His hand ran up her back as he placed it onto her neck, pulling her deeper into the kiss.

Melanie let her legs wrap around his waist and she pulled him closer to her. This is what she had been waiting for so long. John let his hand fall into her honey blond hair as he wrapped one arm around her, pulling her as flat against his chest as he could. Her hands were soon running up and down his back as he kissed her passionately.

Melanie’s skin heated up more than she thought was humanly possible when she felt John’s tongue slowly trace her bottom lip. John tightened his grip around her waist as he carried her to his bed, his breathing ragged.

He slowly laid her down, his body hovering over her. He kissed her lips softly before letting his tongue make its way back into her mouth. He pulled away from her lips and she opened her eyes to look at his face. He had a serious look on his face and she felt him toying with the hem on her shirt. Melanie looked him deep in the eyes, before grabbing the hem of his white v neck and pulling it over his head. John tenderly did the same to hers, discarding it on the floor.

Melanie felt exposed. Sure, she had made out before, but not like this. She had never had a boy undressing her, and she felt self conscious as she saw John’s eyes traveling over her frame as he unhooked her bra. John lowered his body back on top of her, his lips falling onto her neck.

He kissed her tenderly up her exposed chest, to her throat and to her ear, “You’re beautiful, Melanie.”

She felt goose bumps flood her skin as a shameless smile took over her lips. She pushed him beneath her, straddling his waist. She looked at him sincerely and placed her hand on his pant’s button.

“Are you sure you want to do this, Melanie?” He whispered.

She smiled, before leaning down and kissing his lips roughly. “I’ve never been more sure of anything.”

John pulled Melanie into his arms when they had finished and she could feel his chest moving up and down, catching his breath. It blew softly on her neck, cooling down her heated skin.

She smiled as he pulled her close to him, burying his face in her hair. “Go to sleep,” John whispered softly.

Melanie turned around his arms pressing a light string of kisses to his swollen lips. She nestled her face into his chest, and couldn’t wipe away her grin as she fell asleep.

She felt so safe as she slept, wrapped tightly in John’s strong arms, nothing but the sound of their heart beats in her ears.

__________________________________________________________

Melanie heard the sounds of pots and pans banging in the kitchen as she stretched her naked body out on the mattress. She smiled as she felt rays of sunlight peering through John’s curtains and warm her bare skin.

She opened her eyes, and once she did she wished she hadn’t; John was no where in sight. She frantically sat up realizing she was alone and her eyes searched the room. His bags were gone. There was no trace of him in the room.

John’s side of the bed was neatly made and on his pillow was a single flower. A daisy; her favorite.

Melanie picked up the piece of paper underneath the flower and as she read his scribbled handwriting she felt her entire body go numb, every feeling she could have escaping her body. She froze.

Melanie,
I love you, but I can’t do this. I’m really sorry.
-John O’Callaghan