Primitive Instincts

R I V E R



I had tons of chances to get off the bus. I could have gotten off two hours ago. I could have gotten off when Max started to fall asleep. I could have gotten off near the police station. But I didn't. It was like i was subconciously waiting. But for what? I wasn't even sure.

Still, as the Sun began to slip down and the clouds became more dense and low to the ground, i found myself still sitting on the uncomfortable bus seat. My arm was stuck to the window sill and i felt hot and sweaty. Around me several homeless people were stretched out on the streets, trying to get some rest. The bus driver kept glancing back at me, trying to figure out when i was going to get off. I ignored her though. She had no right to hurry me along. I had been through enough today.

I wondered if they had called the cops on me. Or maybe they started looking themselves. What if at the next stop, they got on by chance and found me? The thought made me shiver and glance nervously around the cramped space, making sure of the people there. None of them needed to be feared or avoided. I returned my attention to the window. And to thoughts of Embry.

Max was laying against my side, sleeping peacfully. Which didn't at all distract me from my broken heart, or the pain still surging through my back. I was losing blood still, probably a fair amount. I should have gone to a hospital. Or at least bandaged it up. But i was waiting. For something. I would know it when i saw it.

And there it was. My stop. It was like i had known i was going here all along. Even if I hadn't wanted to, i still would have ended up here. My instincts and desires pulled me and pushed me toward it. There was the sign glooming in the fading light and fast descending fog.

LaPush Reservation.

The bus brakes squealed to a stop and I hesitated. Should I get off? Would i be able to find him? I didn't have a choice. I had no where else to go. There was no where else Iwantedto go. Embry was everything and I somehow knew that wherever he was, that was where I belonged.

"LaPush Reservation!" The bus driver called, arousing some homeless men from their slumber. I raised my hand, signaling her so she would pull away.

I gently nudged Max making him blink his eyes lazily. He reached up to rub his face and glanced around, confused.

"Max, this is our stop." i said. He simple nodded and stood up, grabbing his suitcase. He struggled with the wheels and i reached over to dislodge them from the back of the seat. He yawned and started toward the front of the bus as I yanked my suitcase from it's position and followed. He smiled at the bus driver before half-crawling down the stairs, his suitcase thumping down after him.

The bus driver only grunted to him and quickly closed the doors and sped off after we had reached the ground. The setting was...creepy. It was dark and thunder rumbled in the distance. The fog was making it difficult to see very far and the sign seemed unusually old.

"Wherea awre we Rivur?" Max asked, tugging at my hand.

"LaPush. This is where i go to school." i answered, lifting the handle to Crystal's suitcase, and began pulling it down the road, keeping a tight grip on Max's hand. I wasn't sure where i was going. After all i didn't know where Embry lived, and he un-doubtably had parents. So what the hell was I doing?

We walked down the road in silence and exauhtion(sp?) waiting to get where i wasn't sure we were going. Out of the corner of my eye i saw something flash by me in the woods. I quickly turned, taking a step back. Whatever it was, it had been big. And fast.

"What was that Rivur?" Max asked, leaning closer to my side.

"I don't know. Probably nothing." i answered, trying to calm my own thundering heart. I tugged him along, faster than before, desperate to get to a road or something.

My body felt weak and tired and I could fell more scabs beginning to break open. I held back tears and pushed forward, trying to concentrate on walking and holding Max's hand.

Before I knew it, we were on the beach, just walking towards a bunch of houses. Or maybe they were stores. I couldn't tell. It was too dark. I was stumbling now, my feet getting tangled in each other. I needed to find someone to help me. Someone to take Max. Someone to stop my back from bleeding.

Down the beach i saw shadows. There was two. No, one. I couldn't tell if it was getting closer or farther away. It wasn't a shadow, it was a person. They were tall.

By the ever fading light i could start to make out features.

Tan....tall....shirtless.....beautiful.

Embry.my mind instantly said. I walked forward faster, Max getting more frightened each second.

"Rivur who's that man?" he asked, jumping up and down at my side.

"A friend." i breathed.

Then we were in front of him. I dropped my suitcase and fell into his arms, sobbing heavily. I was so tired and so sorry. I should have answered him. I should have kissed him before i had left today.

I picked my face up to look at him. Even in the dark he took my breath away. His eyes were searching mine, trying to understand. Over the curiosity was fear and worry and compassion.

"River what the hell happened to you?" he asked, sliding down to the ground so he could hold me better. He was so warm. His arms felt so good. I could have sat there all night and been happy.

"I had...I had to get Max out of there." i said. Max was now looking from Embry back to me. He leaned over to me and grabbed my hand, kissing it lightly.

"Rivur hot huwrt." he said, pointing to my back.

So he had noticed.

"What?" Embry said, lookign back to me and removing his hand from my back. His fingers were red. "Oh my god." he breathed.

He looked at my back and gasped, lifting up my shirt a little.

"River what happened?" he asked, holding me closer to him. I wanted to tell him but my head felt light. I didn't know if it was from him touching me or from the gashes. It was probably both. Embry always made me feel like i was about to pass out.

I looked into his eyes and reached my hand up. I rubbed his face, trying to memorize the lines and curves of his bones. He was so beautiful. It was...unreal. He cared about me. He had said so. Maybe he didn't love me. Or maybe he did.

I knew there was no possible way he could love me as much as i loved him. No one ever could.

"i need you to take Max somewhere safe. Somewhere where no one can find him. Or at least won't search that well." i said, feeling my conciousness begin to slip. Everything was pulsing.

He held me closer than ever, but was still amazingly careful with my back.

"River...please. Tell me what happened." he begged, leaning closer to me so that i could feel his breath on my face. He smelled so good.

"Embry...i hurt." i whimpered, before my vision grew narrower and narrower until i was finally lost among a sea of black.

I knew i wasn't dead. I couldn't be dead. Not after all i had done to save myself and Max. There was no way fate could be that cruel. I wouldn't let it happen.

I needed to say the magic words to Max again. I needed to kiss Embry. I needed to find the courage to tell him that i loved him. I needed to do it and i wasn't giving up yet.

No, my story was far from over.