Primitive Instincts

R I V E R

Embry's house wasn't exactly small, but with two people at least 6" in the living room, along with another grown woman, it was kind of uncomfortable. Ms. Call herded us into the kitchen like a bunch of over-sized sheep and had us sit down while she went and started cooking.

"Embry, River, go wash up before dinner." she said, already becoming more comfortable with me it seemed.

I followed Embry down the hall and back into the bathroom that was even more uncomfortable for the both of us then the living room was.

"Embry...i really think you should tell her." i said, looking down at my hands. The soap suds ran off into the water and spiraled down the drain.

"No. It'd be too much for her River, I'm telling you." he sighed, drying off his hands and rubbing the back of his neck.

"Ugh. Well at least make up something so she doesn't have to worry all the time. Tell her...tell her your moving out or something!" i said, crossing my arms over my chest. I didn't like lying, to anyone, and i hated hearing other people lie.

"That's...that's actually not a bad idea at all." he said, shooting me a small smile before pulling me into a kiss. It was quick and sweet but it reminded me that i was his, and honestly, it made me want more.

For some reason being so close to him in the water that day had made me want to be even closer than we had ever been. I thought back to that day when Quil had walked in on us and blushed.

"Why are you blushing?" he asked, laughing quietly and brushing my cheek with his fingertips.

"Just thinking." i said.

"About what?"

"Just thinking Embry that's all." i said, turning him around and pushing him out the door. "Let's go, your mom's probably waiting for us." i smiled, keeping my hands on his back as i propelled him down the hall and back into his seat.

I sat next to him and sighed, wondering how this dinner would go. I felt Embry's hand on my knee and smiled over at him.

At that moment Embry's mom walked in carting three plates of spaghetti and a plate of garlic bread. I knew Embry could have eaten the whole plate of garlic bread along with two of those giant bowls of spaghetti and still had room for dessert. He was just going to have to control his appetite for now.

"Alright. Here's dinner." she said in a slightly out of breath tone.

"Thank you." Embry and I said in unison. Ms. Call gave us the plates and we began eating. For a few minutes it was silent, and then Ms. Call sighed and looked at me, smiling.

"So River, how did you and Embry meet?" she asked, glancing at Embry for a second as well.

"Umm, well, we um, he....we met at the beach." i finally said, looking down at my plate and coughing as i choked on some of my spaghetti. I felt Embry's hand slide up my leg a little bit.

I took a sip of my water and rubbed my forehead for a second before looking back up at Ms. Call. My heart was beating so fast i was having trouble thinking straight.

"Oh, and, um, are you guys, you know, serious?" she asked, seeming generally curious. I looked at Embry and he was looking at me with a steady gaze, even as i felt his hand slide up a little more, so that it rested on my upper thigh.

"I uh..." i started, my brain kicking into over-drive. I didn't understand why he was doing this now of all times! "Y-yeah, I'd say we were pretty serious." i finished, looking back at his mother. She just nodded and ate for a few seconds.

"So, what are your plans after you graduate?" she asked, taking a drink of her water.

"I um, i actually had to drop out." i whispered, suddenly feeling very ashamed.

"You had too? Why? You seem like a bright girl." she said, seeming disappointed.

"I....I had abusive parents. They made me drop out or they were gonna hurt my little brother. So i did. Then....i took my brother and ran. I've been staying with Sam and Emily. I was in pretty bad shape when i got down here. Apparently they had to bring a doctor in or something. "i said, shoveling a forkful or spaghetti into my mouth. Embry squeezed my leg, making me jump a little bit.

"Oh my goodness, River i am so sorrry. Have you called the police?" she asked, suddenly standing up and moving to the telephone.

"No Ms. Call, and i don't really want to. If I take this to court...they'll take Max away, and probably put him in some kind of foster care thing and...i just couldn't stand the thought of him being shacked up with another family like...like the one i was living in." i said, not really knowing why i hadn't made up some lie about why I'd had to drop out of school.

Ms. Call put the phone back on the hook and looked at me, like she was really, truly seeing me for the first time.

"You're a brave girl River. I never could have made it through what you must've had to go through." she said.

"Thank you, Ms. Call." I looked down at my plate and realized i had already eaten all my food. "I think I'm gonna go to Sam's now. I'm pretty tired." i said, standing up and feeling Embry's hand finally slide off of my leg. "Thanks for the dinner Ms. Call, it was delicious." i smiled, walking by her and giving her a small hug. Embry walked me to the door and stood there. As soon as his mom walked away i whipped around and smacked him in the arm as hard as i could.

It probably hurt me more than it hurt him.

"Embry Call what the hell is wrong with you?" i whisper-screamed.

He just laughed and like he had found it quite amusing.

"You're mom was on the other side of the table and you're gonna start groping me? She was probably wondering why my face was so red, and why i was so damn jumpy." i said, groaning and running a hand through my hair.

"It wasn't that bad." he said,

"Ugh. not for you."

"So your saying you didn't enjoy it?" he asked, raising his eyebrows at me. I felt my face heat up to about as hot as it could get. Along with my neck, ears and probably the whole upper half of my body.

"I...I d-didn't say that. I just thought it was an i-inappropriate time." i stuttered, backing away from him a little bit.

"So you did enjoy it?" he asked. I could see him smirking, even in the fading light and i knew that he could see how red i was, and could probably feel the embarrassment rolling off me.

"I'm going to Sam's, see you later." i said, turning away and marching off.

"Don't i get a good-night kiss?" he called after me.

"You've already had your fun!" I called back, too mortified to be shy at the moment. He knew how to make me blush and he did on purpose.

The light was fading fast and the walk to Sam and Emily's quickly got chilly. I wished i had asked Embry to walk me back, but he would have just spent the time teasing me more.

I knew he was right though. I actually did enjoy it. I liked the way his hand felt and how it made my heart pump faster and my legs shake. I honestly wished we had been alone. I wondered where it would've gone.

I tried to push away those thoughts as i climbed the steps to Sam and Emily's house.

I pushed open the door and walked in, seeing that a light was on in Sam and Emily's bedroom. Not wanting to wake them, i tiptoed to the room i was staying in, glad there was a bathroom right down the hall. I kicked my shoes off in my room and then grabbed a towel, feeling icky from the salt water i had been in earlier that day.

I turned the knobs so that the water was warm and filled the bathroom with steam. I stripped and stepped into the warm water, enjoying how it made my muscles relax and allowed me to think straight.

I knew it definitely wasn't a bad thing how Embry made me feel, but maybe i liked to too much. What if I was making those feelings into something they weren't. I mean i was sure he wanted to...well, do what i did. I just didn't know what to do with that feeling. Everything was so new to me and i had no idea what in the hell i was doing.

When i stepped out of the shower i found I was still just as frustrated with myself as when I'd gotten in. I pulled on a pair of boy shorts and a wife beater and slunk back the room, knowing there was no way i was going to get any sleep. So instead of trying to shut my eyes, i turned all the lights on and sat in bed, biting my nails.

The next time i looked over at the clock, it was well past midnight.

"Ugh!" i practically screamed, standing up and running a hand through my slightly curly hair.

"Can't sleep?" i heard from beside me. I jumped and let out a tiny scream, whipping my head over to see Embry's head in the window, the rest of his body still covered by the night.

"Embry! Why did you do that? You can use the front door you know." i said, pulling him in and shutting the window, trying to non-noticable make my boy shorts longer. They were just underwear after all.

"Where's the fun in that?" he asked, making a show of looking me up and down.

"I thought you were gonna stay at your house tonight?" i asked, locking the window.

"Nah. I would've missed you too much." he said, walking up behind me and wrapping his arms around my stomach. I felt him rest his head on my shoulder and tensed up. There were a roughly a million things running through my head at that moment. "What's wrong?" he asked, noting my tenseness.

"Could you die?" i asked, looking out into the trees, wondering what could be waiting in the darkness. "In the fight, is there a possibility that you could die?" I already knew the answer.

"There's a....yes, it's possible." he said. He turned me around and made me look him in the eye even though i just felt like curling up and crying. "But I won't let that happen River. I promise I'll come back to you. All of me. And we don't know when this fight's supposed to go down, so there's no use worrying about it now." he smiled, rubbing my cheek.

I stood on my tip-toes and rested my cheek against his so that my mouth was near his ear.

"I can't lose you Embry. I...I can't." i said, feeling myself start to choke up, but i quickly stopped the tears. "I love you so much Embry." i said, running my hands through his hair.

"I love you too." he whispered back. I pulled back and looked at him, trying to memorize every aspect of his face in case...in case...

I hopped up and wrapped my legs around his waist, pushing my lips onto his. I felt thousands of emotions flowing through me; more than i'd ever felt. I felt alive, i felt passionate, i felt happiness, love, devotion, want...everything.

Embry wasted no time kissing me back and turning us around so that my back was towards the bed. He began walking, slow, steps, using most of his concentration on kissing me back. When his knees hit the bed he knelt gently, lowering me onto my back.

I felt his hands slide up my shirt, first on my stomach, reaching up to the bottom edge of my bra. Then his hands slipped around the back, attempting to unlatch my bra. Then i remembered my scars and jerked away.

"Sorry." he breathed, getting off of me and sitting on the other side of the bed, looking slightly embarrassed.

"No!" i said, reaching my hand out for him and then remembering that I was the one who had pushed him away. "Embry's it's not that i don't want to or anything it's just..." i said, pushing my hands up through my hair, not sure how to explain it.

"River it's okay. I can wait-" he began.

"But that's the whole point! I don't want to wait!" i practically screamed. I climbed onto his lap so that i was straddling him, "I want to be perfect for you." I said, pulling at my clothes. He opened his mouth to protest but i stopped him. "And don't say that I am because you know that I'm not." i said, putting up a warning finger. "I have scars Embry. All down my back and I won't lie and say that they aren't bad because they are. Crystal used to make fun of me for them and said they were the reason i was still a virgin. And it doesn't bother me that i still am, i mean im kinda proud that i saved myself for you. It's just...now that im ready i wish i could be perfect and...and im embarrassed." i finished, looking down and playing with his hands. There was a little bit of a silence before he pulled his hands away and pulled my chin up.

The look on his face was...disappointed.

"River...if you haven't figured out how much i care about you by now you must not have been paying much attention." he smiled. "I don't care whether or not your perfect. You're perfect for me. I love you. Scars and all." He whispered. He reached up the back of my shirt, placing his fingers over my scars, not shuddering or making a disgusted face or anything.

I however, began to shiver, as he flipped us over and raised my shirt above my head, revealing the white bra that covered my small chest.

This time, with no hesitation, he leaned down and kissed me, reaching behind me at the same time and unlatching my bra. I felt it slide away as his hands moved up to explore the newly exposed skin.

Every inch of my body felt like it was being touched with 100 volt wire. My brain was hazy, but it wasn't bad, it made everything seem soft and smooth.

The night continued, as one of bliss and pleasure, so that when i laid in bed beside him later that night, our naked bodies entangled, i didn't have a single regret in my mind.