Primitive Instincts

R I V E R

Life sucked. This was a new all time low. Not only did my life totally suck, but so did the weather. It was one of those dreary sleep in days where nothing seems worth doing. It wasn't really different from the past few days though, because i never really felt like doing anything.

It had been two weeks, and nothing. Embry still hadn't waken up, and everyone was terribly sad all the time. Including me. I was the worst. I stopped eating, stopped taking care of myself. All i did was sit by Embry's bedside until they finally dragged me away.

Embry's mom was putting up missing person's signs all over town, which made me feel even worse. I wanted to tell her so bad. But then i would think, she doesn't really want to know, not if she knew what it was that she was missing. She was so much better off clueless than she would be knowing her son was in a coma. That would destroy her.

Not nearly as much as it destroyed me though. Every waking second was like my own specialized piece of Hell. If i could just know that someday Embry would wake up, even if it was two years from now I would be fine. Because i would know that he would wake up.

I didn't know that though. And that vast space of mystery pushed me a little further into the mud each and every day. And each and every day i prayed that there was some high force or power, and that that deity would somehow be able to bring my Embry back to me.

I needed him.

More than i had ever needed anything in my life. More than when i had needed to know he loved me back, or when i needed to know when the vampires were coming, or when i needed to know that the Cullens were good.

I just needed him to wake up!

"I'm going for a walk." i said, suddenly feeling very suffocated in the house. Tired of having everyone looking at me with pitied looks like Embry was already dead.

"Come back soon." Emily said, watching me with careful eyes, like i was some ex-criminal that might snap and go on a killing spree at any second.

I walked out of the house into the rain, ignoring it as it flattened my hair onto my face. I knew where i was going.

I made my way down the winding roads of La Push and onto the beach. The beach i had walked so many times before...before...

i felt tears start to slip down my face as I imagined my first walk on the beach. Where i saw him for the first time. It was one of the single most important moments in my entire life.

I continued walking down the beach, my feet pounding against the rocks, trying to find there grip as they were slippery.

I reached the overhand of rocks i had visited more than once.

The first time when Embry and I had walked down the beach for the first time, when he had picked me up and spun me around in the rain, and the other time, when we had discussed the vampires that were fast approaching.

I turned around and could almost see him and I in the rain, me pounding on his chest, a lame attempt at flirting. Why hadn't i just kissed him then? Why hadn't i spent every waking moment i had wrapped in his arms, his lips against mine? Why had i waited so long?

I could almost hear his voice, asking if he could get a good-bye kiss. My former self turned away, while i itched and burned to run into his arms and his welcoming warmth.

Only he wasn't really there now. He was in a bed in the Cullen's house, being kept alive by tubes. And there was only the sound of the waves against the rocks and the cold of the rain with me now.

I walked to the exact spot where we had been spinning and stared out at the ocean. Then i saw it, some weird vision my mind must have been cooking up for days. I saw myself standing here, years from now, with wrinkles and grey hair.

I was wrapped in a black shawl, wearing a black down that reached all the way down to my black shoes. In my hand i clutched a picture, and as i removed it from it's place on my chest, i saw what i was of. A picture of Embry, alive and happy, a picture of him in the sun on the beach. Somehow i knew that in that weird futuristic vision, Embry was dead and i was a widow.

And then i snapped.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

I slammed into the Cullens house, wasting no time with introductions. I raced up the stairs to the room Embry was staying in and looked in on him.

"Embry please wake up please!!" i screamed, throwing myself at his bedside, shaking and crying.

"River-"i heard from behind me but barely registered the voice. I was too far gone now.

"Embry wake up!!! You have to wake up!!! EMBRY!!!! Hello in there!! Wake up!!! Don't leave me! Please!!!" i screamed, ranting and raving like a mad woman. I felt someone start to pull me away. I knew it was one of the Cullen's and they could throw me across the room like i was nothing. Still, i fought to get back to Embry's side. "Embry you promised!!! You promised me you would come back!! You said you would come back safe and sound and whole!" i screamed at the top of my lungs, so loud that my head was starting to hurt.

"River you need to leave." This time i recognized the voice as Emmett's. I could tell by his voice that he felt bad for me, was pitying me at this very second.

"Embry you promised!!!!" i screamed one last time.

And then, the most amazing thing in the world happened. Something so amazing that it made both me and Emmett stop what we were doing.

Embry opened his eyes.