The Life of An American Orphan.

Jen’s P.O.V
I breathe heavily as i run into the orphanage.

“Jennifer!” I hear Emily shout and soon I have a five year old clutching my sided.

“Not now Emily, I’m all sweaty and gross” I say as I gently pry her fingers off me and I give her a small smile.

“Will you come play Barbie with me?” She asks as she holds up her doll.

“Maybe later, after I have had a shower” I say still with a smile on my face and she nods and the happily runs back to the living room asking if anybody wants to play Barbie with her.

I chuckle as I make my way up to mine and Sarah’s room only to find it empty which means that Sarah most likely went out with Jimmy, just like all of the other afternoons. I shake my head a little as I walk to our closet and take out a new set of bra and panties which I take with me when I go to the bathroom.

I turn the shower on and then undress not looking into the mirror at all while I’m in the bathroom, I step into the small shower welcoming the steaming heat.

After 20 minutes I step out of the shower and wrap a towel around my body for a few seconds letting most of the water soak into the towel, I take another one and starts to dry my hair with it. When my hair is half dry I take both of the towels and throw them into the hamper. I quickly pull on my panties and bra and then make my way from the bathroom to the bedroom.

Running my hand through my hair I take the weight scale that I have under my bed and put it in front of our full length mirror. I take a deep breath and then step on the scale, I let the breath out and slowly counted to five before I looked down and a small smile came on my face.

In the last week I had lost a total of 17 lbs.

I look up into the mirror and pinch my stomach with my thumb and point finger, the fat is still there but I can see that there is less now then when I first pinched at school.

“What the hell?” I hear Sarah say from the door and I immediately freeze.

“What are you doing?” She asks and I hear the door close.

I shrug my shoulders as I step off the scale and push it back underneath my bed and then I walk to the closet to find an outfit.

“Jennifer!” Sarah shouts at me and I turn around.

“Nothing’s going on okay?” I shout back and then I walk over to my bed and turn my laptop on.

“I’m not stupid Jen” Sarah says as she walks over and stands besides my bed.

“Whatever” I reply back logging into my computer.

She sighs as she sits down on my bed in front of me.

“I don’t get you Jennifer, one week you’re ignoring everyone, then you’re somewhat normal on the weekend and then there is a new week and you ignore us again. Is it the nightmares? Is there something else going on? You know you can tell me anything.” Sarah says concerned and I can hear by her voice that she’s getting teary eyed.

I look up and into her eyes and I just shrug again and then look down at my computer.

“Please” She whispers and I look up again.

This time I sighed and I closed my laptop.

“Look it’s nothing okay? I’m just trying loose a few pounds” I say and look at her.

She looked at me from head to toe (well more like thighs) and the she looked at me in the face as a tear ran down her cheek.

“Why?” She asks.

“Because I need it” I say and look down at my hands ashamed.

“What? Why do you say that?” She asks and looks confused.

“Do you see how I look? Compared to Val or Isabella I’m a fat cow!” I shout standing up from the bed and walking towards our closet and cross my arms over my chest just standing there.

“What the fuck, since when do you care!?” She shouts and I hear her turning in the bed facing me.

“It’s the truth, that’s why he dated Val because she’s pretty and thin while I’m just some poor orphan. He probably dates me out of pity, because of what happened in the cafeteria” I said and turned around.

“Both of us know that’s not true, I’ve seen the way he looks at you Jen. He likes you for real.” She said and sighed.

“Please come here and tell me what’s bothering you” She said and patted the bed.

I walked over and sat down next to her.

“It’s just, on Monday after you left with the food Val and Isabella came up to me and said I was fat” I said, I know it sounded stupid but I had to tell her like it was.

“Why did that faze you?” She asked looking at me.

I let out a deep breath (something I’ve been doing a lot the last minutes…) “I don’t- I don’t know. I don’t get bothered of what they say, of what anyone says but it just did. I think things are just getting too much, with the working and the nightmares and the jogging.” I said.

“Yeah what’s up with the jogging? You’ve been jogging two times a day, sometime three” She says worriedly.

I shrugged “I couldn’t do an eating disorder, I can’t stop eating and I hate the thought of making myself puke” I said and shivered of the thought.

“So I thought that if I just ate a little less and exercised more things would work out” I said and bit my lower lip.

“Well stop it” She said strongly “You are one of the last people on this earth that needs to lose weight, you’re not fat or overweight, you’re hot and the perfect size. I would totally ditch Jimmy for you” She continued and ended the sentence with a wink and a blow kiss.

I giggled and licked my dry lips.

“I’ll stop” I said after a few minutes of silence.

“Good, don’t let those beach Barbie bitches mess with you. I’ll kick their ass and so would Emily and Maria” Sarah said and made a fist with her right hand with she punched her left hand with to make her point clear.

I laughed and nodded, Sarah pulled me into a hug.

“I love you” She whispered into my ear.

“I love you too” I whispered back.

We sat like that for a few minutes not talking until she pulled away fast but held my shoulders.

“Since its Saturday tomorrow the group decided they wanted to go out and I bet they would love to see your face plus Zacky wanted to show off his new girlfriend.” She said and looked at me.

“Sure, I should probably apologize… again” I said with a chuckle.

Sarah laughed a little “I don’t think they care about the apology as long as you’re okay”

I just nodded.

“Jennifer!” I heard Emily shout from downstairs.

“I’m sorry I have to go, I have a play date with Emily” I said.

“Can’t believe I’m getting stood up for a 5 year old” She said making me laugh hard.

“If you don’t have it you don’t have it” I said as I walked out the door.

I was five steps away from the door before I ran back and poked my head in just in time to see Sarah opening the laptop.

“Thanks” I said with a smile on my face.

“Anytime” She replied and I walked back into the hallway and down the stairs with a smile on my face.