And Then He Kissed Me On MTV

I've decided this.

If I was going to die, I'd die knowing who I was. My name was Rachael. Rachael Everstein. I'm twenty years old, a vocalist for the "Fall of Grace". Born in Jersey, with a mom I still love despite her faults and a father I adore and loved till no end. My best friend is Jenine, who stuck with me since the beginning. Robin my best guy friend in the world. Who understands me and who always takes care of me no matter what.

Dallas, my boss, the band manager also the guitarist of the band I sing for, a friend unlike no other despite his faults. He's a true friend who misses his sister very much and thinks of me much like her.

William who's just an ass.

But I'll say he's somewhat alright for the sake of others.

Keli, an adorable puppy. Enough said.

Alex... Alex Lavaue, my former art teacher, my first love. A pain in my chest, and the only one who makes me feel lighter than the clouds. I love you Alex, I remember everything about you and me. Our good times, bad times, and our moments we shared together. I'll never forget you. I'll take memories of us to my grave.

"Kristen... I'm sorry." Before me, Kristen smiled cynically as she raised a gun to my face.
****
Jersey just got colder and
I'll have you know i'm scared to death
That everything that you had said to me was just
A lie until you left
Now i'm hoping just a little bit stronger
Hold me up just a little bit longer
I'll be fine, i swear
I'm just gone beyond repair

-Mayday Parade "Jersey"
****
Chapter 11
****

"Rachael here went to Westwood High and then moved here in New York, I happened to find her while on the streets looking for a friend and there she was."

Dallas' words sent the lump on the couch into a jolt as she sat up straight to stare at the T.V. Screen. Her eyes focused on a particular girl that sat next to Dallas of Fall of Grace. Her eyes widen as she heard Rachael's voice. A voice she hadn't heard in so long yet she knew she hated it with every breath.

The woman reached for the black remote raising the volume up to hear the show. That's when she saw another thing that sent chills down her spine. Alex LaVaue. He looked much the same as usual, just his hair slightly styled different, but other than that, he was still his beautiful self. Fair skin, luscious hair, and the most beautiful brown eyes she had ever laid her sights on.

Years ago, she remembered being in school with him. She even remembered dating him. Hating a girl that stole him from her. A girl with the name Rachael Everstein. Her mind twisted and wrench the memories buried deep within in her hateful heart as she growled, staring at Rachael with intense eyes. Because of Rachael, the woman spent a year in juvy. She spen another year in a psych ward, and another year in therapy. Those were not the best three years of her life. No, they were the worst.

Then as soon as she got out, she swore she'd have her thirstful revenge she'd vowed when they first took her away. In the end, she'd have Alex to herself, Rachael would be gone. Gone for good. Erased from the face of the Earth.

****

Another six months has passed by. No such luck with my memory on the "Alex" problem. I couldn't remember anything. Fustrated, and tired as I was, I kept concentrating in my kitchen, thinking back in highschool, but everytime I tried I couldn't see Alex. I coudn't see my art teacher. I saw nobody that was him. Not even his voice was heard.

I growled softly taking the beer in front of me and drinking fast before concentrating again. Behind me the door knocked. "Come in." I said hastily as I heard Keli step in.

"Hey..." He said softly.

Keli's been coming in and out of my apartment in a regular fashion. I've gotten used to it so much, I even got him spare keys so he could come in whenever he wanted. I was glad of his company, he helped me through alot these past six months. My memory wasn't doing very good but he stuck by me, helping me along, and always keeping me in line.

We've gotten pretty close but not enough for me to do anything farther than the boundaries of friendship. We kept our distance, we agreed we were just friends though there was doubt in Keli's voice, I made sure he meant what he said.

"Hey..." I muttered. "I'm need a break."

"Yea, no kidding." he laughed amused by my persistance. "Dallas says there's a tour next month, and told me to tell you that you need to start getting the art stuff together for the fans."

"Oh, tell him I've already done it, anything else happened?" I asked him turning away from my kitchen to now face him leaning against the door frame.

His face fell slightly. "Yea... Jenine... lost her baby."

I swallowed hard. "O-oh?" I stuttered, feeling my heart pounding in my chest. "Oh my god..." I gasped, "What happened?"

"They say she might have had too much alcohol..." he explained, "She thinks ruined her kid... she's going nuts over it, she won't speak, refused to look at anyone, and she won't even eat..."

Though Jenine made it clear that she never wanted to see me again till I regained ALL of my memories, I couldn't just ignore this. I quickly got my jacket off the hanger and grabbed my sweats. "What hospital is she at?"

Keli reached over to the hanger grabbing his beige jacket and his car keys. "New Jersey General, in Westwood, I'll take you-"

"Take me too." Robin's voice came through the door.

We opened the door to find him with a concerned expression. "I just got a call from Neil, I'm sorry about Jenine Rachael."

I nodded. "It's alright... we just need to go now."

Keli nodded as he led us down to the elevators. Bursting through the double doors, I felt the wintery cold air hitting my face hard. I shivered from shock as w ran across the streets to Keli's green buggie.

"Alright, I'm driving fast, put on the seatbelts." Keli warned.

*****

The drive was agonizing. Though Keli did his best to get us there as fast as can, traffic was unavoidable as well as unbearable. We tried to cut into faster lanes as soon as we saw openings, occasionally getting honks, and a few colorful words shouted at us. We didn't care, eventually we had the radio turned up so loud, the traffic sounds seemed distant.

It was a four hour drive from Noon to Four in the evening. The hospital was genrally quiet, not very crowded since it's location was remote and small. We made our way quickly to the reception desk where a nurse was handling paper files. Her eyes looked up from her spectacles as she turned her way to us.

"May I help you?" Her voice was tired as she stared at us restlessly with unease.

I had to admit. We dressed way weird. I was still in my pajamas, sweat pants quickly pulled on and a long jack over top, I was a fashion chaos. Keli was in his band shirt and his "I Love Boobies" t-shirt with his Beige jacket over top. Robin wore way too beautiful clothes, a black V-neck, some straight leg jeans, and a pink and blue "Glamour Kills" jacket.

Robin spoke first. "Jenine?"

"Right... third floor room 312." She said carelessly.

We all nodded and rushed through the hallways and to the elevators. The smell of vermaldahide and other chemicals rising from the linoleum floors. We weren't worried though, it wasn't omens that rose to our noses, it was just how the hospital smelled all the time. We made it to her room, I opened it quickly dashing inside along with Robin and Keli. Inside was Neil and Alex. Neil sleeping on the couch, Alex sitting on a nearby chair flipping through the channels and Jenine fast asleep.

Almost immediately I saw Alex jerking his attention to me, his face pained, behind me Robin and Keli froze.

"Hey..." I said in a soft whisper.

Alex didn't say a thin.

Robin leaned into Keli's ear and the both walked out of the room, leaving me alone with Alex. Robin knew me way too much. I sat down on a seat across from him and gave him a nervous smile. "How's Jenine doing."

"What are you doing here?" Alex hissed.

"Visiting my best friend." I answered defensively with a crossed look. "You going to tell me if she's alright or not?"

Alex looked over at Jenine, her peaceful expression sent his tense face to relax as he turned back to me and nodded, "She's fine, now you can leave, we don't need you here." He whipsered coldly.

I got up to leave. Standing, staring at my best friend then to someone I was supposed to love. Someone I was suposed to remember because he's supposed to be the most important person to me but no matter what I do I couldn't do it. I couldn't remember anything about him. I couldn't.

And it makes me fustrated...

It's hurts...

Clutching my chest I whispered good-bye, knowing it wouldn't be returned as I slowly closed the door to leave.

"RAYCHA" A high pitched voice squeaked as I entered my dad's house.

I bent down to see Jason, two and a half feet tall, four years old, with bright green eyes, a cute smile, and the rosiest cheeks I've ever laid eyes on. Robin and Keli entered behind me as I picked up my baby brother and gave him a hug and kiss.

"Woah... Your dad's pad is pretty nice..." Keli smiled as he made himself comfortable on a familiar leather beige couch.

"So, I was wondering if you wanted to go out tomorrow."
"Alright. When and where?"
"Tomorrow, seven o' clock. And as for the where, it's a surprise."

I braced my head with my right hand concentrating but nothing came afterwards and I sighed at the fatal attempt. No more than that came...

"I'm going to go see your dad Rachael." Robin said as I nodded.

"Raycha... I went to pwe school and made you a pictor." Jason smiled with a the sweetest hand gesture as he handed me a slightly wrinkled paper. I took it noticing a bunch of different colored scribbles randomly drawn.

"It's beautiful..." I managed to say and it really was. A kid this age already involved in art...

"It's your name Raycha!" He grinned. "I wrote your name!"

I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek, an "Awe" came from the leather couch which was Keli. Jason wiped the kiss off his cheek and scowled as he crawled over to a pair of feet that belonged to my step mom. Gina.

"Hey Gina." I smiled.

I shouldn't have done that.

"RACHAEL!!" She shrieked running over like a mad woman and glomping me with her skinny arms. It's amazing the figure she maintained even after giving birth! "I missed you so much!" She turned to look at Keli and smiled. "And who's this young man?"

"That's Keli mom." I introduced them quickly, Keli blushed, I'm guessing he tought Gina was pretty hot.

And she was for a forty year old woman. She kept her looks young after all these years and she still looks twenty. Don't know how she does it. I know I've gotton at least on age mark by now but she barely has any.

While Keli was getting a tour of the house I began exploring myself. I first I walked into my familiar old bedroom. Everything, surprisngly dad hasn't moved anything since I left, was still there, intact, in the very same place, kept neat and vacuumed. I sat on my bed, felt the soft springs squeak and smiled to myself in content. When I opened my eyes I saw a familiar door across from me.

"He woke up this morning and put on his shoes..."

My hands fastened on the door knob, the neighbor door, I felt a quick pulse through my hand. It felt like electricity jolting with excitement as I swung it opened.

A blank door with no knob was in my way. I pressed the tips of my finger aganst the flat of the door, and then my palm. I pushed into the door. It wouldn't budge. I got up and walked out of my room and saw another door in the hallway next to my bedroom.

"Started making his way past two in the morning, he hasn't been sober for days..."

I opened the door slowly peeking inside to see nothing. Just an empty room with a desk in the center and a bed in the far corner, and yet, I saw something that wasn't there but once been. Messy t-shirts scattered on the floor, guitar picks stacked on the nightstand and next to it a black guitar. I felt a familiar odor enter my nose, sweet, it smelled like cologne.

"Leaning now into the breeze Remembering Sunday, he falls to his knees they had breakfast together, but two eggs don't last like the feeling of what he needs..."

I sat on the bed and smiled, a good feeling flowing into my body as I took in every sound, every smell, and everything that was once in this room with my eyes gently. I remembered it very clearly. When I opened my eyes I saw a neighbor door. I stared at it from where I sat. My smile fading.

I saw him... I saw Alex... He slowly leaned into me. His face gradually getting closer and closer to mine. Frozen with a sudden fear as his warm lips touched mine. His hand gently glided against my cheek, caressing it softly as he deepened the kiss. I didn't even noticed that I kissed him back until he leaned harder into me and thats when yanked myself away looking at him in shock.

Staring at the door I stood up now. My fingers dancing across my lips. I reached to the door and opened it. I saw my room. I saw myself siting on my bed, it was in the middle of the night. The night Alex left. Alex walked into my room through this door and sat beside my sleeping figure that just stirred as he laid next to her.

After that, there was a kiss. A good bye kiss. Something that'll ensure that I'll always be on his mind. Something to ensure that he'll never leave me.

When I stepped through the door frame that bordered his room and mine I felt something warm hit my cheeks. Tears.

"I remembered..."