And Then He Kissed Me On MTV

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I'm sorry for, the person I became
I'm sorry that, it took so long for me to change
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
Cause who I am hates who I"ve been
Who I am hates who I've been

-Who I Am Hates Who I've Been "Relient K"
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"Yousonova-I'm going to snap that neck of yours and-"

"Please Mr. Everstein calm down!"

"Shove it Robin!"

"..."

The hospital was sickly white. It made Robin uncomfortable as he tried his best to keep Ben from knocking the living daylights out of Alex. Everything was a hurling mess. Rachael was in intensive care for her head injury, She broke her arm, her head was knocked pretty hard by the ground and some of the leftover sound equipment that was laying around on the ground thus resulted in her broken bones.

Alex kept silent since it all happened last night. He hasn't slept a wink. Robin called Mr. Everstein or Ben, to inform him on what happened. He is the father and he had the right to know. Unfortunately, Ben didn't take it too well when he found out HOW Rachael got to where she was.

Alex had nothing to say. He had nothing to think about except Rachael, about what he did, and why he did it. How easily he lost control.

"Excuse me, may I speak to the parent of Ms. Rachael Everstein or a family member?" A nurse asked as she stepped out of the E.R.

Ben quickly jumped to his feet. racing to the nurse as fast as he could with his middle aged bones.

"Come with me sir, are you the father?" She asked swinging her long brown hair to one side as Ben nodded. "Alright let's have a seat in the doctors office, she'll be with you in a moment."

"Is my daughter alright?" Ben asked, his voice was nearly breaking, afraid of the nurse's answer.

"That's what the docter want's to talk to you about..." She answered in a nonchalant tone.

Alex heard them, despite the fact that their low voices were hard to hear, he could make out exactly what was going on. Whatever's going on with Racahael wasn't a nice walk in the park. He felt bad. He didn't want ther to die, it's stupid, all she did was fall off a six foot stage! Could the damage be that bad?

Well when you land on a bunch of equipment crap lying around, breaking bones could be pretty easy. The fact that she didn't reach for him to stop herself from falling made him feel like he wasn't worth anything.

The fact that she was hurt kept smacking him in the face.

But worst of all, it was he pushed her off the stage.

He hurt her.
****
I didn't understand much anymore. I didn't feel like I was alive either. It's pretty obvious wherever I was, I wasn't in New York, at least in mentally. It was warm though. I felt soft blankets wrapping around my body, but I couldn't see them. it was completely dark. Pitch black.

I tried to straighten things out. Alex, Robin, Dallas, the bands, New York, my new home, dad, mom, Jenine, school, TSP, Kimmie, and me. The more I tried to think the less I can recall. It was worse because when I actually stopped thinking I realized I didn't want to remember anymore. The more I tried, the more pain I felt.

I slowly sank away from it. My mind coming across blanks. The only thing that visioned in my unconsious mind was me. Smiling, for real, from a long time ago.
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"What's going on with my Rachael?' Ben asked, his tone was a little troubled, startling the Docter as she took a seat on her black leather chair.

She took her glasses off revealing her peircing grey eyes. Eyes that've seen too much. She placed her hands together and leaned onto her desk. Her face remained stone cold as Ben fidgeted uncomfortably in his chair. His mind only focused on the well being of his one and only daughter.

"She's fine..." The docter began. "Her bone's will mend, her injuries will substain." She added slowly.

Ben gave a sigh of relief, he let himself relax alittle.

"But,..."

His muscles tensed again, relaxing time over.

"When she woke up this morning she... I'm not sure it's some kind of syndrome, her mind is refusing existance." She paused, and if a docter has ever looked unsure, then this would be it as she bit her fingernails.

Ben's jaw fell. "Excuse me?"

She took a breath. "Mr. Everstein, I don't know the inside details but your daughter is coming down with some kind of amnesia, now, we're not saying it IS amnesia, we're saying she's refusing to accept the truth." She bend over reaching to her filing cabinets pulling out several files and placing them on her desk. "We've had several cases before from incoming soldiers and rare teens."

Ben held his breath, he refused to breath or rather forgot. Does this mean his sweet little Rachael won't remember him?

"All cases weren't cured but most were by hypnosis. By reliving her experiences, we can pin-point why her mind rejects her past memories." The docter explained. "We have plenty of psychologists that can help Ms. Rachael."

He couldn't make anything out of it. All he knew was Rachael was forgetting, Forgetting everything. He wasn't sure if she's totally lost it but he refused to believe it himself. Though he knew no matter how much he'd refuse, the problem would still be there for him. His heart won't refuse it.

"She's fine... except now her memories are slipping, and we need to treat it as fast as possible before she's too far gone." The docter quickly said, "So with your permission we'd like you to sign these papers and choose a psychiatrist immediately."

Ben didn't have to think about it twice, his hand had already started on the papers before the Docter could finish.
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Robin and Alex stood quietly in front of Rachael's room. The linoleum floors smelled bad but despite that, they took their normal, yet troubled breaths.

"Robin... I'm sorry..."

"For what?" Robin asked him, his voice was unfeeling numb. "Save it for Rachael, I'm not the one that was pushed off the stage."

Alex opened his mouth to say something but new better to actually make it audible. As Robin opened the door he entered first, eager to see Rachael's healthy face, a smiling face, something that would tell him she was fine.

When both boys stepped in, they didn't know what to expect. But when they found out, it wasn't pleasant. Not at all.
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I didn't know where I was. Not anymore anyway. I'm guessing I was sick. The hospital's flourescent lights were dimmed so my eyes wouldn't struggle under intense brightness. I focused my eyes at the T.V. hanging from the ceiling, the show HOUSE was on. This was something I knew, I've watched it before but when I tried to remember where, I got this fuzzy vision in my head and suddenly I couldn't remember.

It was hard. The nurse told me about my problem. I didn't understand though. They kept getting all technical on me. All I wanted to know was who I was, where I cam from, and where my family was, if I had one that is.

While I sat, staring blankly at the window, the door to my room opened and there stepped in two boys. One was blonde the other had raven black hair. I stared at them blankly before returning my gaze to the windows.

"Rachael?" The blonde one spoke.

I paused, they know me. "Is that my name?"

When I turned to him, he stared at me with this strange expression, his nose krinkled, his eyes furrowed, he was confused. "Um... yeah..." he muttered.

"Are you guys my brothers?" I asked them, though I doubt they were.

"No..." The blonde one answered again, except it was struggled.

"I don't feel like I should be talking to you guys, I'm... not well yet... come back later..." I sighed, my head began to throb.

The two stared at me. The blonde one nodded and left first but the raven one was still standing there. He stared at me with wet clear eyes. Clearly about to cry. "Don't you remember me?" His voice cracked.

I didn't know what to do, he was about to cry, and I couldn't answer his question. My throat throbbed, I know I've heard his voice before but I couldn't make any sense! It's like my mind was refusing to let me know, refusing to let me remember! A pain shot through my skull and that's when I gave up.

"I'm... sorry... I... can't... remember..." I groaned.

He didn't say anything, he only let out a soft cry, his tears slipping down his cheeks, his face flushed. "Oh..." He croaked. "I don't really blame you..."

Before I could say anything more he swiftly twirled on his feet and left.

"Sorry to bother you... " He said quickly before shutting the door.

I stared silently at the spot where he stood. Outside voices grew slowly.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry.... urgh...."

"Alex... maybe it's just for one day... she did hit her head pretty hard..." the blonde's voice.

"No... it's my fault...." breathing, "I did it, I... I nearly killed her..."

"Stop it Alex..." the blonde eased, "Hey... Hey wait! Where are you going?"

There was no answer.

"Alex! Stop! Wait you can't leave now!"

I waited anxiously.

"Alex! ALEX!!"

And then more pain.