Once Upon A Time in Love

Thump.

There it is again.

Thump. Thump.

Oh god, make it stop!

My heart’s been thumping really loud lately, like the annoying pounding of drums from a marching band, fast and loud. Or the way your heart always reacts when you see a ghost or get startled or something. I feel like my heart’s ready to rip out of my skin and just jump off.

It’s weird ‘cause this has never happened to me before. Getting all queasy and paranoid when you fall in love is so. . I don’t know. Cliché. I’ve heard of experiences, from most likely my friends who are in a relationship, about how they go all oblivious of the world and get sweaty and nervous and that sort of crap, being in total bliss and all. I was always there to retort them and dissent their opinions. Probably ‘cause I never actually experienced it firsthand.

Sure I’ve read tons of books, romance novels even, and have heard people nag on about love and may have thought I know all about it. I guess it’s just really different when you hear or read about it from actually feeling and experiencing it.

The sun’s been shafting light off of my skin and those rays of sunshine has been radiating the whole park, making it a beautiful Saturday to go out. I was sitting in the soft, green grass. Legs stretched out and my arms behind me, leaning on to it for support. The large oak tree beside me was shading me with comfort from loneliness and from the glaring sun.

And my heart’s been beating like hell still!

The stupid part of it all is that I don’t even know what’s making it do that -no, I don’t think it’s from the heat- Or who.

The only person –only girl– that I’m close with is Jade.

Thump.

Oh my god. Jade.

Thump.

I’ve known her for years. Helped her through from the beginning of high school and now that we’re Seniors, we’re this close to graduating, this close to never seeing each other again. Okay well maybe we’ll see each other again, but still. It will never be the same.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

My stupid, inscrutable heart is out of control. It’s like it knows-

“Hey Josh.”

Oh.

“Woah, what’s the problem? You look kinda’ sick,” Jade came from behind and sat across from me cross legged.

“I feel sick,” I muttered.

It was adorable how her eyes immediately showed a sign of concern upon hearing my response.

“You do? Well should I take you home or take care of you or something?” she took a step forward, now kneeling in front of me.

Mend my heart. That would be nice.

I pinched myself at the sudden thought. I flinched when I realized I pinched myself too hard.

“Why did you do that?” she asked, raising her brow,

“Do what?” I stiffened, looking directly at her hypnotizing, emerald eyes.

“You just pinched yourself, why’d you do that?” she exclaimed, taking the arm I’ve pinched myself with and softly brushed the red spot with her soft, delicate hands. Little bolts of lightning traumatized my nerves.

“I did?” I chose to act all innocent. What will I tell her?

“What is wrong with you lately? Is there something bothering you? Anything I can do to help?” she lifted her heart-shaped face and returned her gaze at me.

You could kiss me. That’ll make me feel all better.

My eyes widened and I started to feel my face fill up with scarlet. Oh god, I probably look like a freak to her right now. When will this goddamn suffering end!

“Okay you really need to tell me what’s going on. You’re face’s heating up!”

I put my head in my palms and wiped my face in frustration. I’m not exactly an expert in this kind of subject matter. Yes, I preferably think that love is a subject. It’s not the kind of subject I think I would ever master though. If I know how this stupid thing works, I would’ve been able to face it head on. But I don’t. It’s not every day that I get to spend time with an amazing, gorgeous girl that any guy would be dumb enough not to fall for. Oh wait, yes I do.

“You know what? Come on. Let’s take a stroll down the park and forget about all this,” I stood up and held out a hand for her to reach.

She looked up at me for a sec and scoffed before finally taking my hand.

“It’s such a beautiful day. Don’t you think?”

She walked ahead of me, held out her arms and twirled. As if she’s waiting for the sun’s tepid, comforting embrace. She twirled with such grace and elegance it made me want to join her.

Instead, I watched her. Hands buried deep in my pocket and took slow, awkward steps one at a time. She looks so fragile. Her small body wrapped around the purple flowered dress she’s wearing, her long, silk hair flowing endlessly behind her back and her tiny, petite features gathered in a heart-shaped face. I always thought she had a cute nose. And gorgeous eyes with a matching dazzling smile.

The belting sunlight reflected all of her features, making it softly vivid and visibly clear.

How come I never felt this way about her before? It’s like some part of my messed up brain just snapped and said love her.

“Hurry up slow poke,” she said to me with a warm smile, walking backwards.

I kept up my pace, now walking beside her, except she’s still walking backwards. And just as I predicted..

“Oof!” I caught her by the waist and held her arms. She wrapped her arms around my neck as if she’s still expecting to fall.

If you are, I wish you would fall for me.

Great. How corny can I get? This love sick is making me weak, losing my touch. How can I ever get rid of this?

“Sorry, thanks.” I helped her straighten up and we continued to walk. Except this time, she managed to intertwine both of our fingers together. I felt the rapid beating of my heart get worse.

So there we were. Strolling side by side in the tedious afternoon, arms touching and hands wrapped around in each other’s comfort. She let out a sigh.

I, on the other hand, inhaled the dry atmosphere in. It smelled like grass from winter’s end and spring filled wild flowers with aromas that were exhaled by the blue skies’ tranquil wind.