Caged Mentality

POV: Khristos Larkin

“Hey.” Isaac smiled once I opened the door to my apartment. I had just finished styling my fohawk when he'd knocked on the door. I had to rush, I was running a bit late. Aren't I always though? “You ready to go?”

He stood but a step outside my apartment, his dark, nearly shoulder-length hair blowing around slightly in the breeze. Today he wore black skinny pants with a small chain from the front to the back on the left side and a purple v-neck graphic t-shirt with purple Supra hi-top shoes. He had black spider bites in and dark makeup around his eyes. He looked good.

“Yeah, just got ready.” I smirked. He let out a slight chuckle as he moved aside so I could lock my door.

“Always exactly on time, huh?”

“You know me.” I grinned, walking with him to his car, where Noah and Riley were both sitting on the hood.

“Get the fuck off my car, dammit!” Isaac shouted, half jokingly.

“Maybe we don't wanna get off your motherfucking car!” Noah grinned. Isaac rolled his eyes, getting in the driver's seat. I got into the passenger seat before anyone else could take it.

“Dude, he's totally gonna drive with us on here.” Riley turned to Noah, then slid off the hood and got in the back seat. Isaac honked the horn, giving Noah one last chance to get off.

“Bring it on!” Noah raised his arms in the air as Isaac drove slowly, then stomped on the gas abruptly and briefly, throwing Noah off of the car. He laughed when he got up, limping to the car and getting in the back. “I think you made me sprain my fucking ankle.”

“Your own fault.” Isaac stated and started driving.

About ten minutes later we arrived at the mall. I really didn't care much for shopping, and Isaac really didn't either, but we were going along because Noah and Riley wanted us to. Shopping wasn't that bad, anyway, at least not with Noah and Riley. They didn't take forever and they didn't have to try every single thing on. So it was all good.

We got out of the car and made our way inside, going straight to Hot Topic. It was the store we all agreed on the most. Noah and Riley disappeared into the store, so Isaac and I started browsing things together, though neither of us really had the money to be shopping. I did, however, buy a few new band shirts and a new pair of plugs. Isaac just got new lip rings. Noah and Riley still weren't done when we were, so we really just stood around waiting for them, staring at random things.

I turned my head, my gaze immediately falling upon a familiar figure. I just stared at him for a moment, contemplating whether to say anything or just leave him be. But I couldn't help myself, I had to say something to him or I'd regret it.

“Hey, can you hold this for me?” I asked Isaac, holding out my bag with my new stuff. He nodded and took it, his expression silently asking me where I was going. “Riel's here.” Was all I had to say for him to understand.

I shoved my hands in my pockets and walked over to Riel, happy to see him again. I'd missed him... A lot. “Been a while. You miss me yet?” I questioned, my head tilted to the side a bit.

His head snapped up and he stopped walking instantly. He nodded slowly and his eyes fell back to the floor as he pulled the sleeves on his jacket further toward his wrist. “I'm sorry I made you hate me.”

“Hate you?” I raised an eyebrow. He had the completely wrong idea... “What the fuck gave you that idea? I haven't made an attempt to see you because I knew it would be too hard for me to be around you and be just your patient or just your friend. I definitely don't hate you.”

“I should give you a different therapist? I don't think anyone else you'll like. This whole situation is fucked up.” He said, his gaze still fixed on the ground. A different therapist? That was his answer to this?

“I don't want a different therapist. I don't need fucking therapy at all. I just need you.” I told him, stepping closer and lifting his chin so he was looking at me. I was sick of him staring at the floor, I wanted to see his eyes. I let my arm drop to my side again. “But I can't have you.”

“I'm sorry, Kris... You don't really want me. I'm fucked up more than you know.” He sighed, closing his eyes. Couldn't he just look at me? And what gives him the right to tell me what I want or don't want? I know I want him. Fucked up or not.

I rolled my eyes, then clutched his shirt and pulled him over to me so I could crush our lips together. It was very similar to the first time we kissed, just no tie or office setting involved. He wrapped his arms around me, returning my kiss. I had missed this... How did I go so long without seeing him?

I broke the kiss but didn't move away from him, though I did release his shirt. “You don't know what I want or don't want. You can't decide that for me. Sometimes even I don't fucking know what I want, but I know for sure I want you.”

“You don't know me very well though.” He mumbled. “I should get home...”

“What better way to get to know someone than dating them?” I questioned, grabbing his wrist, causing him to wince and try to pull his arm away. What the hell?

“Perhaps...” He paused before asking, “Can I have my arm back?”

“What's up with you?” I questioned, confused, switching my grip to Riel's hand while I turned his arm over and pushed up his sleeve. I had already had an idea of what it was, and I just wanted to confirm it. “What the hell's this?” I demanded angrily, checking his other arm. “What the fuck!”

“Nothing...” He sighed as he tried to get away, but I didn't let him move. “Just got on the bad side of a cat...” He stared at me blankly, then shifted his gaze to a nearby fountain. The bad side of a cat... Seriously?

“That's the biggest load of shit I've ever heard!” I stared at him with narrowed eyes and a tightened jaw. Greg had told me Riel was doing this to himself, but it pissed me off so much more seeing it myself. “Why the fucking hell would you do that to yourself? Those weren't there the last time I saw you! Is this because of me?”

“I told you I'm fucked up. I don't know what to do about us and this is half the reason my patients can't know Riel.” He paused. “I just want to help you. I don't give a shit about myself – obviously.”

I released Riel, only to kick him in the shin. I was beyond angry. “How fucking stupid can you possibly be? You could have fucking killed yourself on accident! And that's supposed to help me?! The only way you're gonna be helping me is if you stop fucking slicing yourself like a goddamn pizza and if you stop making excuses to not be with me and finally agree to be mine!”

“Kris, calm down. Not here...” He mumbled, turning around and starting to walk.

“Not here? Why not? Don't like the attention?” I questioned, grabbing the back of his shirt to stop him. “I came here with my band, I can't just ditch 'em. So we better finish this here.”

“I'm not creating a scene in this mall, Kris. So either text them or something to tell 'em you're leaving or you can leave this alone.” He sighed, shaking his head. I let him go and he resumed walking.

“Fine...” I muttered as I followed, pulling out my phone to text Isaac. “I hope you know that I'll be twice as upset if this happens again. You really shouldn't be cutting.... What kind of therapist fucking cuts himself? And for such a stupid reason!” I ranted, putting my phone back in my pocket.

“You'll avoid me anyway.” He said as he got in his car. I climbed into the passenger seat. “It's my life. You've no right to complain. I have my reasons.”

“I wont avoid you again if you're gonna be doing that... Why don't we just solve the damn problem today? Then there doesn't have to be anymore cutting.”

“Solve it how?” He asked cautiously as he started driving.

“Well, how do you want to solve it?” I questioned, lounging back in the seat, propping my feet on the dashboard with my fingers laced behind my head as I stared at Riel.

“You still need therapy, Kris.”

It always came back to the stupid therapy thing... His stupid excuse...

“I don't need fucking therapy! What's that matter anyway? Doesn't answer my question.”

“Depends how you interpret the question.” He mumbled, parking the car. He lived pretty close to the mall. “What do you want, me to just give you all of me now? We've discussed this. And you do. Your anger needs work...” He sighed, walking up to his apartment. I followed, watching him throw his keys on the coffee table before sitting on the couch lazily.

“All I want is you to quit finding excuses to not date me.” I stood beside him with my arms crossed. “Don't you still want to be with me?”

“I... You still need Dr. Carlin, Kris. Not Riel the emo, pathetic boyfriend.”

Avoiding my questions again. Same old stubborn Riel... I just wanted an answer, what's so hard about that?

“Stop avoiding answering my question by giving me some lame-ass excuse! I just want to know if being with me is still what you want. Give me a fucking straight answer. If it's not what you want then I'll just leave.”

“I want you, just can't have you.” He mumbled seriously, his gaze locked on the floor. Couldn't look at me either...

“And why not? There isn't anything stopping you.”

“I'm your therapist. And I don't trust myself with you.”

“To hell with the therapist thing.” I rolled my eyes. “You don't trust yourself with me?” I repeated, confused. What did he think he'd do, murder me?

“You called me a manwhore.” He reminded. “I would mess up. Maybe with Greg or Joel. I'm not boyfriend material.”

“I trust you not to do that.” I stated confidently. “I know you wouldn't.”

Okay, so maybe I wasn't so sure he wouldn't. But oh well, it wouldn't kill me.

“How long till you give up?”

“You want me to give up? That would mean never seeing me again.”

He bit his lip and looked away, silent. He obviously didn't like the idea of never seeing me again. That made me happy.

“Didn't think so. How long 'til you give in?”

He shrugged. “No idea.”

“I'm not leaving this house until you do. You should think about how stupid your excuses are.” I told him as I walked over to the bar.

“You could be sitting in here for days then, you know?” He muttered.

“I don't understand why you're being so stubborn... Switch me to a different therapist then.”

“I can't, you wouldn't like 'em.” He stated, hitting the nail on the head. I wouldn't like anyone else, unless they were like him, and that was rare for a therapist. “You're stubborn too.”

“I'll just quit therapy then... Not like I need it anyway.”

“Yes you do. You're not quitting.” He glared at me. He was so insistent on the therapy thing...

“You can't stop me. You aren't my boyfriend or my father.”

“Your father won't let you.”

“He won't know.”

“I'll call him.” Riel threatened, taking out his cell and starting to press buttons. I wouldn't let him win this though.

“I'm 19 fucking years old, I live on my own and pay my own bills. He can't control me anymore.”

“So you refuse to stay in therapy unless I date you?”

He's realizing he can't win this. I'm getting somewhere for once. I wish I would've known threatening to quit therapy forever was what would make him crack... I would've done it sooner. But I was winning now, which made me happy enough that I could hardly hold a smile back.

“Exactly. So what's your answer?”