Caged Mentality

POV: Riel Carlin

“Aw fuck...” my alarm was just blaring. It was so annoying... I needed to get a different alarm tone for it. I felt Kris shifting a bit then stop as soon as I hit the dumb box making the most annoying sound. I was glad, I didn't want to wake him up.

I began wondering how long we even stayed up. It felt like I never got any sleep at all... maybe an hour or two at the most...

Now the task of getting away from Kris and not waking him up... it was like seven in the morning... I didn't really want to move. I liked feeling him next to me. I liked the feel of his skin on mine. But... I had work...

I slowly pushed his arm away from me causing him to roll onto his back. I shook my head laughing quietly. He was cute when he slept.

Turning around I saw how much of a mess the room and bed was. Clothes scattered...the main blanket had been kicked off the bed leaving only the sheet to be tangled up around Kris. I took a moment to stare at the mess. I had decided to wait...and that was fucked up last night. I had sex with Kris?

Shaking my head I walked out of the room with a pair of clothes. That couldn't have happened... just couldn't have... I mean its not like it was me cheating on him or anything horrible... but I had wanted to take things slow... not jump in bed with him two weeks into our relationship. Fuck.

I turned on the water to the shower and got in. I could remember we were at the concert. We came back to my place, watched a movie... oh yeah... he wouldn't go to sleep or watch the movie. I sighed, I gave in too easily... well I was tired. Right? I guess that's an excuse... but not enough of one... I'd fix it when I got home I suppose... I didn't regret it at all...to a point. It felt good. The whole night did.

Well... except for me waking up with almost no sleep... and my vocal cords from screaming last night weren't the best. Lucky me...

I got out slipping my clothes on. I looked in the mirror freezing. Kris... he'd marked me too much. How the fuck could I hide this at all? I swear it was impossible! I didn't have any cover up... it was too hot to wear a scarf... not like I owned one.

I glared at my reflection reminding myself to kill Kris when I got home. He should have known better. I had to work in an office! Talk about unprofessional! How could I go to work like this? I stomped out of the bathroom into the kitchen... still exhausted. Where was my lil coffee fairy when I needed him?

I let out a half laugh, I'd just stop at the cafeteria to get one. I picked up my keys then left the house. Kris would probably be asleep most of the time I was at work. I only had a couple appointments today. It wouldn't take all that long. Just four hours outside of lunch.

Walking into the office I already saw Cable bouncing in his seat impatiently. Great... today would start out perfectly huh?

I smiled at him then walking over to the girl at the counter. “May I have my clipboard?” I questioned casually.

She glanced up at me, then frowned, eyes locked on my neck. “Those... marks...” she mumbled eyes somewhat sad. Like I didn't know... she paid too much attention to me at lunch and took too much time organizing my stuff above everyone else's.

“Yeah, I know... unprofessional.” I replied acting oblivious to what she'd been thinking. “It won't happen again... I don't think...”

“You're dating someone?” she asked curiously, clicking her pen over and over. It was a nervous tendency of hers.

I nodded, why lead her on? I didn't even care for girls to begin with.

Her head hung a bit, “Whats her name?” she asked trying to smile and sound interested. “What's she like?”

I almost laughed. I guess it never got around to her that I was gay. Oh well, I wasn't about to go into the topic now. “I don't mean to sound rude, but I do have a patient waiting for me.”

Cable immediately ran to my side, beaming with his innocent smile. It was contagious. Smiling down at him I turned to her. She handed me my clip board. “Thanks, Rhi.” her real name was Rhianna.

“I'll see you at lunch then Riel.” she said quietly looking down at her desk again.

Cable grabbed my arm pulling me to my office. I closed the door, he ran to the couch and I sat on my desk. I sighed a bit then looking at him.

“So... how are things at home?”

“Your voice sounds weird.” he commented bluntly then laughing a bit. “I can only imagine why that is.” he smirked trying not to laugh. I could imagine what he was thinking too. I rolled my eyes.

“For your information, Cable, it's from a concert I went to last night. I screamed when I'm not used to it.” I countered, grinning. “I was with my old band.”

“Yeah, uh-huh. Sure. Why you have marks all over you? I wonder who it was that wanted the world to know.” he teased, standing then poking me. “Do they hurt?”

I shook my head laughing. “No. And it's none of your business, fruity fairy.”

“You have marks just on your neck?”

“Don't you think you're getting a little too curious?”

“So he kept you up all night. You look exhausted.” he mumbled, pausing, “is it you were up all night getting fucked, or you just had it rough?” he contemplated what he said for a moment, “oh! I bet you were bottom! So you just got it rough, huh?”

“Cable, that is hardly an appropriate question.” I replied throwing a few pennies from my desk at him.

He ignored my comment then skipping to another question, “so you didn't vomit?”

Staring at him blankly, “why would I have vomited?” I was truly clueless.

“From deep-throating that guy that punched me in the face. Obviously. That's why you don't have a voice probably.”

“I told you why I don't have my voice. Jeez, Cable. Back off the dirty talk a little. And who said that even made you lose your voice anyways? How the hell do you know anything about that type of thing?” I hit him on the head with a book. He was too young and too curious. Part of me wanted to burst out laughing. He looked so innocent, yet here he was spewing out these dirty thoughts and questions.

He crossed his arms, acting insulted. “I am seventeen.” he reminded then pointing a finger at me. “You think I've never been around?”

My expression was dull, “Right. I'm pretty sure you're innocent.”

His brows furrowed into a frown. I was right, and he didn't like that.

“Aw, don't get so upset. That's a good thing.” I smirked, mostly finding it funny his entire expression just went from annoyance to frustration.

“So, who was your little friend in here the other day last week? Huh? Huh?” he pestered now acting like a puppy ready to catch a ball. Him and Kris had one thing in common: avoidance. If they could avoid the main purpose of sessions for eternity and pester the fuck out of me, they would.

“No one.” I mumbled. I didn't want to get into it.

“Nah, you kissed him. He's the one ywho turned your neck into hickey heaven, huh?”

I glared, “that isn't any of your business. It is my personal life.”

“Nah, I saw you kissing him in your office. He's your patient too. That makes it OFFICE BUSINESS!” he exclaimed happily waving his arms about standing on my desk. It was as if he was announcing some extremely entertaining event. I swear the kid was into acting too much.

I burst out laughing, “uh-huh... how about screaming out to everyone your gay now too? You can't get any more fairy than standing on top of my desk announcing it like that.”

Cable jumped down purposely twirling like a ballerina. “Oh, of course, cause you know, I'm totally into dicks. I just suck em all night.” he replied tauntingly, throwing in an extremely gay accent.

“You may wanna be careful. That sounded awfully convincing.” I teased dumping the water from the vase on his head. “You should come back down to earth. You're getting too caught up in those thoughts. I'm really starting to wonder about you.” I half joked, shaking my head.

“Oh, you wish flamer.”

Why did he always need to come up with jokes about my sexuality. Jeez... not that it was insulting, it was entertaining. I just didn't see how he had so much fun with it.

“So.”

“So?” I questioned raising an eyebrow.

“Who is he?”

“Who?”

“The ass that punched me. Your lover. The one that branded your neck a million times. The reason you don't have a voice.”

“Hell, it's not that bad. And I told you, it's from singing! Jeez, look it up.” I rolled my eyes wondering how long it'd be till he let it go.

He jumped up sitting on the desk with big eyes. He was acting so much like a puppy. “Who is he?”

“Jeez Cable. Leave it alone.”

“You are together huh? You're breaking a big rule. Dating and having sex with your patient. Tsk tsk!” he shook his head no in a disappointed manner. Why couldn't he just let it be?

“Cable, I think you should leave it alone.”

“I won't tell anyone. I like annoying that guy sometimes.” he rambled on then started singing. “Just for the record, the weather today is slightly sarcastic with a good chance of a: indifference and/or b: disinterest to what the critics say.”

I stared at him blankly. He was so random all the time. And curious... and pestered people intentionally.

“So... Riel... How did you know you were gay?” he sat on the desk as if pretending to be me. His expression was so serious, finger on his lips like he was pondering a solution to end world hunger or something.

Sometimes it was so hard to understand this kid. His thoughts were just so sporadic that there was no logic to them half of the time. That made solving his depression a problem...

I sighed crossing my arms wondering if he was serious or just rambling on to avoid the real reason he was here.

“I wanna play therapist!” he exclaimed pointing at me then throwing a pen. “So, Riel, tell Dr. Cara how you knew you were gay!” he smiled pulling candy out of my desk drawer popping it into his mouth. I laughed then sat on the couch.

“How is this productive?”

“Just go along with it young man! Don't be diverting my questions.”

I rolled my eyes lounging on the couch lazily. I guess it was useless to get him to do as I wanted. At least like this.

“Alright... I just always kind of knew. I never had an interest in girls. My entire life. That's all it is.” I shrugged.

“Interesting...” he picked up the clipboard writing things down. He jumped off the desk. “our time is up! I'll see you next week!” he sang throwing the clipboard at me. He drew a picture of the pineapple from that stupid show. The one the guy lived in... sponge whoever...

I walked back downstairs seeing Rhi. I handed it to her. “Cable just had fun as always.” I said in response to her confused look at the drawing.

“I guess I'll file it with the rest of his drawings...”

I laughed, “yeah, that works.”

“So...who are you dating?” she asked again. “She must be a very lucky person...”

Lucky... no one could be lucky and date me at the same time. “I don't really feel like discussing my personal life. And I wouldn't say they're lucky. I don't date often. You're overly curious today.”

“Sorry Riel, I just...”

“Don't worry about it any.” I reassured then waiting for the next clipboard with files from my next patient.

“Would you... well... would your girlfriend get jealous if we went out for coffee sometime? Just to talk, as friends. Nothing more, I promise.” she said it so nervously the words jumbling together in a pathetic mess.

“I'll get back to you on that later.”

“You find me annoying, don't you?” she asked innocently. I knew she felt stupid. And now I felt bad for acting like this.

“No. We can go out as friends sometime, sure.”

A brilliant smile crossed her face handing me the next group of papers. She had a nice smile. Too bad she was wasting her time trying to even be friends with me... not to sound cold. I just didn't really care to be friends with anyone at work. They were all boring people with typical lives.

xxx

I got into the house throwing the keys on the counter. It didn't look like anyone had been around the house. He couldn't still be sleeping, could he? I had to get payback some how... I had gotten so many looks and comments thrown at me, aside from Cable's. His were probably the worst. But I knew my boss wasn't happy in the least.

I walked into my room seeing Kris still tangled up the the sheets and the room still a mess. I picked up all the clothes throwing them in the washer. Sighing I walked back into the room ripping the sheet away from Kris. He still didn't wake up that much. Just moved a little. I glared, then crawling onto the bed, pushing him onto his back.

“Kris!” I yelled as best I could, hovering over him a bit, resting my forehead on his. “Get up you lazy ass.”

“Fuck off... Sleeping...” Kris groaned sleepily, refusing to open his eyes, weakly attempting to push me away. He was still wanting to sleep? Serious?

I stared at him blankly, a bit irritated, “no, you're getting up! Work was such a pain in the ass cause of you today. Come on, it's like two in the afternoon!” I refused to move, making it a point to be annoying with my bitching.

“Don't give a fuck, still tired, let me sleep.” Kris grabbed a pillow, holding it over his face. He reminded me kinda of a robot. I almost laughed, but was still kind of pissed.

I glared, grabbing the pillows off the bed and throwing them on the floor pulling him up into a sitting position. “No. Get the fuck up.” I ordered angrily.

“Riel...” Kris whined, burying his face in my shoulder, unable to hold himself up I'd guess. “I have to go back to sleep...”

“Yeah? Well I need you to learn to follow rules! My boss was not happy about all these marks. And people commented on it so much. It was a pain in the ass. And at least you got sleep. I don't know... I got maybe two hours!” I complained. “Now wake the hell up before I drag you off this bed.”

“I don't like rules...” Kris mumbled, sitting up straight and staring at the bed, rubbing his eye. Okay, he was really cute when tired like this... but not enough to make me just forget my issue.

“Tough shit. It's going to get me in trouble.”

Kris stared at me through his eyelids, silent.