Caged Mentality

POV: Riel Carlin

“Let me the fuck in there! You two are not fighting!” I insisted. I already knew at this point it was a lost cause. Obvious enough by how the two of them ignored me. Yeah... they just acted like I didn't even exist...

I banged on the glass a few more times finally stopping. I had very little energy left over to be arguing to people that weren't even listening. When I got out of this area, they would be given hell.

“You can't tell me I can't ever touch him bastard! He's still my friend!” Greg argued shoving his fist into Kris's stomach with all his power.

It was hard to watch Kris hunch over trying to learn to breath again. I wanted to be next to him... And it made it even worse that my best friend was the one causing my boyfriend this pain. What shitty luck...

“Just a friend! You can't hold him around the waist and you sure as hell can't fucking sleep with him!”

Kris slammed Greg against a wall. One fist after the other was pushed into Greg's ribs. He was going to be injured there badly... Neither of them were holding back at all.

How could they be so brutal towards each other?

“Let me in there! Stop fighting!” I yelled hitting the glass again. I couldn't stand watching this.

Greg pushed Kris back, launching a fist straight in his face. I had to look away for a moment. Probably broke his nose from that...

“I didn't sleep with him on purpose! Do you not have ears you dumb fuck?!” Greg defended as Kris stepped back a few steps.

His nose was bleeding far too much. My poor Kris... As mad as I was at them in this moment, I couldn't help but feel bad for them as well.

“Right, you accidentally had sex with him! Even if you were both drunk I'm sure you could have stopped if you wanted to!” Kris was definitely blaming the entire thing on Greg... And it wasn't even his fault. He tried to stop me... I didn't stop though.

He grabbed Greg by the shoulders, throwing him down on the floor and kicked him several times. How the fuck could Kris be so brutal? Was this another episode or just pure anger?

Greg had enough, tripping Kris so he'd fall to the floor. They wrestled around a bit before Greg had shoved his fist into the side of Kris's face. Both glared at each other.

When was this going to stop? Seriously. This was beyond ridiculous!

They stared at each other a few more moments then fighting over control again. Kris had him in a headlock till Greg elbowed him in the side. Trying to get away from Kris, Greg managed to hit his arm on the side of a table cutting his arm.

He kicked Kris one more time before standing up and leaning against the wall. Panting, out of breath and a complete mess.

“We're gonna kill each other at this rate.” Greg commented.

Kris just sat on the floor holding his stomach a moment then standing once he regained most of his breath. “Fine.”

Greg sat at the bar, Kris following him. I couldn't see em anymore. Just hear them. What asses. Did they forget I was out here?

“Let me out you god damn fuckers!” I demanded hitting the glass again. I was pissed so much right now. I was still locked out on my fucking balcony, and they had beat the shit out of each other in my house!

“We're done then, at least for now... You broke my fucking nose, son of a bitch...”

“Yeah? You freakin probably messed up my ribs you dumb fuck!” he retorted, “Riel is gonna yell when he's let in...” He glanced at me, leaning back at his chair. I glared at him sending a very clear message I was pissed off.

“Yeah, I think we can wait a minute for that...” Kris muttered. Wait a minute? You gotta be kidding... the longer they wait the more pissed I'll get. How could they just leave me out here?! “You want something to drink?”

“Sure... I need something to handle his bitching...” Greg complained, sighing. My bitching? He needed to handle my bitching? Did they think I couldn't hear them?! “You poor soul... You'll get it worse from him.”

“He'll get over it eventually. It was worth it anyway.” Great... Me being pissed at him was worth him kicking the shit out of my best friend.... Ass... Need I say it again? He is being a fucking ass!

“I suppose so.” He laughed. “I'm not about to do that again. Probably feels worse about last night cause he sleeps with me before with you when you're together... Or you feel worse cause you have and now he did with me...” Greg sighed, “I am sorry man, I'll avoid being alone at night with him.”

“Good. You better keep your word or I'll kick your fucking ass again.”

I watched Kris walk over to the door. Unlocking it, he opened it. I wanted to shove him away. I wanted to let all of hell out on both of them for being such idiots.

“You assholes!” I yelled. “Why the hell don't you listen to me?!”

“Oh god... The headache is coming...” Greg mumbled. Headache? I could give him a headache...

“If you didn't let us fight then we would've just hated each other longer.” Kris noted.

“What the fuck! I'm a therapist for a reason.” I retorted as loud as possible.

“You know you'll belong to Eli one day anyway.” Greg added, “You're happier there.” Happier there? Fuck... I am not happier there... I will not belong to Eli. I will not be in his band.

“Shut up asshole! I do what I want!” I shifted my attention to Kris. “And I'm more pissed at you! You locked me out!”

“Calm down, Mr. Therapist. Control your anger.” Kris smirked. “We didn't need you trying to stop us mid-fight and getting hurt.” He shrugged, mixing another drink. “Too late to change anything now, so have a drink and relax.” He handed the drink to me.

“Fuck you.” I glared. I didn't want to drink. I wanted to cuss them out.

“Told you Kris... You poor bastard.” Greg laughed.

“Both of you just go die in a hole or something.” I muttered walking to my room and slamming the door shut. I had enough of them.

“It's only fair, Riel,” Kris called after me, “You cheated on me!”

Like I needed to be reminded of the biggest mistake I ever did? I already knew. But I wasn't the one that deserved to watch the two of them beat up each other and be locked out of my house. I deserved to be yelled at or left. Not anything else. Unless I was harming myself physically of course...

I had to have a razor in here right?

“Hey let me in.” Greg banged on the door heavily.

“Fuck off! Both of you!” I shouted.

“Great... He locked himself in, dumb ass...” Greg mumbled to Kris.

If I hadn't have locked it... They would have come in. I'm not stupid.

I looked down at my arms. Why did I even need these stupid band aids? I began to unwrap them. I felt horrible. Why did he spend so much time trying to make me feel better and than throw that in my face already? It was completely counter productive on his part. And I was only realizing by that, I didn't deserve to be here, or even near him. I should have been left.

My eyes teared up. I hated myself.

“What, do you not know how to break open a door?” I heard Kris ask. Not long after I could hear him kicking the door a few times before it opened. He walked in as if it didn't mean anything.

“Get the fuck out!” I ordered, tears streaming down my face sitting on the bed.

“How can we just leave you be when you're like this?” Greg said softly, gazing at me with loving eyes.

“Get out and leave me alone!” I repeated. Why would they just come in here like that? I need to be left alone!

“Riel, stop being like this.” Kris was basically chugging down a bottle of tequila. He was drunk... wasn't he? Like that was going to help me 'stop being like this.'

He sat beside me wrapping his arms around me then kissed my cheek. Did he seriously think I wanted to be near him right now? He was drunk and had been an ass!

“Go the hell away!” I demanded pushing Kris away from me and standing against a wall. “Just leave me alone.”

“Riel... Stop...” Greg stood next to me. “We know you feel bad but you can't dwell on it.”

“It just got shoved in my face!” I replied now pushing Greg away.

Kris drank more from the bottle then pinned me against the wall. I wanted him to get the fuck away from me! “It's not a big deal, I told you that. We're even now anyway, right?” He gave a slight laugh, then kissed me, “Just forget about it.”

Did he seriously just kiss me? I wanted to shove him away from me so badly right now...

“No we're not even.” I glared, “I can't forget it...” I looked at the floor then tried shoving him away from me.

“Well if you can't forget it, just get over it. I mean, I'm over it, so what's the big deal? I didn't leave you because of it, obviously.” Kris said, not moving, and forced me to look at him. “We're fine.”

“Imma leave...” Greg mumbled, walking out.

I didn't want to see Kris. I didn't want to look at him. You can't go from trying to comfort someone to throwing things at them to comforting them again. You just can't do that. And if I was stronger than him, I would have shoved him away and ran out of the house.

“I hate myself.” I replied glaring, “And you two ignored me.”

“We needed to get the fight over with. We're pretty cool with each other now.” Kris smiled a little, but it faded quickly. “Stop hating yourself. What kind of therapist are you? Damn.”

“You going to side with Eli and Greg? I belong in that damn band..” I muttered, sick of hearing that being repeated to me. “I'll hate myself until I stop being stupid.”

“I like you as a therapist. And it's what you want, right? If you stopped being a therapist, there's people that would have to go without your help.” Kris stated. “and you made one mistake when you were drunk. Doesn't make you stupid.”

“Why can't you just let me sit here and sulk?” I demanded. I wanted to be upset with myself and pissed at Kris. “You aren't listening at all!” I complained closing my eyes while tears formed.

“I don't know what you're talking about, I'm listening to you.” Kris said, confused. Of course, a drunk guy knows when he's listening... Like hell... “I just want you to be happy again.” He wrapped his arms around me lovingly. I still didn't want him near me...

“I can't be till I hurt myself enough times.”

“You're not allowed to hurt yourself. Really what does that solve?”

“Makes me feel better.” I admitted.

“You can't depend on cutting to make you feel better. How can you tell your patients not to do it when here you are, wanting to cut yourself?”

Who cares about logic right now? Don't tell me the only way Kris can think logically is when he's drunk...

“Because they aren't a bad person like I am!” I replied trying to push him away again.

Kris slapped me. Second time... Less shocked than before at least... “Okay, now you're being stupid. How the hell are you a bad person? Because you made one mistake?” He demanded. His eyes fell to my arms. “You were supposed to leave those bandages on!”

“I don't want to! I told you, I hate myself!” I replied, shoving Kris away finally. I needed to be away from him. “I want to just let them bleed.”

“No.” Kris stated firmly, grabbing my wrist, which hurt, and dragging me to the bathroom. He forced me to sit on the counter, then pulled out the bandages, starting to sloppily bandage my arms again.

Yeah... Still pissed at him... Still want him the fuck away from me... Though I still felt bad for everything I did. I hated this. How more confusing can this be to be beyond pissed at someone and then hate yourself because you hurt the person your pissed at?

I thought a moment, while glaring at him.

“We should take steps back in this relationship. Just hugging and maybe kissing but nothing more...”

“Why? That's stupid... We've already done more than that.”

“But... You'll get even closer to me then.. And if I mess something up you'll be hurt worse.”

“You won't mess up again. You don't need to worry about it.”

“Still... Just in case...”

Kris shook his head no. “I think we'll be fine.”

“Why not? Is it that bad to take a step back?”

“It's just not cool to give me a taste of something just to take it away.” Kris muttered. “So we're not doing that. It's just not going to happen.”

Wonderful... Another attempt to not hurt him failing. I didn't feel like fighting anymore. I used all my strength today. There was nothing else to give into arguments. I wanted to just pass out and be left alone...

Was it such a bad thing to want?