Caged Mentality

POV: Riel Carlin

“Would you use these sessions properly!” I complained throwing down a stack of papers next to me on the desk. I sighed heavily, bringing my hand to my forehead. I probably should have been used to this by now... but I had just had enough of it today.

I don't want to be paid for Kris to distract the hell out of me in various ways. I’m not a hooker. Nor am I a babysitter. Maybe Kris had more than IED... how about ADD too! Hell... maybe this was entirely hopeless.

“I'm sorry, Dr. Carlin, I don't know how.” He shrugged, sitting up. “What are those papers?” He lifted himself off the couch and stood in front of me staring down at the papers curiously. Just wants to distract me more from what we're supposed to be doing...

“Just papers regarding you. How each session goes, things you tell me or things you do. You can't mess with them,” I stated rather seriously. “Now stop wasting time!” I ordered, trying my hardest to stay calm. I simply glared at him, wishing that'd be enough to make my point. I moved the papers from the desk to my chair behind it.

“Oh calm down. We still have like forty-five minutes of the session.” He rolled his eyes, then looked at the papers. He was making sure to keep that topic going for as long as possible, I suppose... “Can't I read the papers?”

“No. Leave them alone. You're here to have help with your anger, not goof off.”

“I want to read them,” Kris stated simply, walking behind the desk casually to get the papers.

I lifted them off the seat before he could touch them. “Stop distracting yourself!”

He glared at me. “Just let me read them. It's not like we're in a hurry...” I was upsetting him now I suppose... why can't this ever go how it should?

“You always do this, Kris... every time.” I rolled my eyes, sighing again. This was so frustrating! “So stop wasting time!”

“I'll stop 'wasting time' when you stop complaining,” Kris muttered.

“No you won't. You never stop unless I do complain... a lot... Jeez... stop fucking around!” I turned away from him throwing the papers on a small table. He was getting to me so much more today. I was even cussing in the office now. What was next? Punching him or something? Maybe he'd be the one to go off. His mood had been going downhill for a few minutes now. Only a matter of time before he blows up and storms out of the room, right?

“Why can't you just let me do what I want? You complain way too much!”

I turned back around to face him, eyes slit into a glare. This was ridiculous. “I only complain when you do something you shouldn't.”

“Well I’m sorry I can't do anything right!” Kris yelled angrily. I had expected him to explode. I expected him to leave the room. But I didn't expect anything else. He grabbed my face, crushing our lips together.

This is what happens now when I piss him off, I guess? He takes it out this way? I haven't made him this upset since we got together. Somehow this just brought me back to that day in the office I learned he had fallen for me.

This was not the place though... and as much as I wish I could have just fallen into this I couldn't. I was still upset with him and we shouldn't be doing this.

I pulled away, taking a step back. “I didn't say you never do things right.” I informed. It was important he knew that. I would never say anything like that to him. He had to understand that and calm down. I just kept my eyes locked on him making sure I had enough time to move if he tried anything again.

“Just shut up!” Kris ordered grabbing my shirt collar and pulling me into him before I had any time to react. His lips reconnected with mine and I figured I’d allow him to kiss me for a bit this time. Maybe it would be enough to calm him down?

The door was not locked. This was against the rules. I was at work. Someone could walk in if they wanted. I could be fired. What would I do then? And Kris needed a different way to show his anger. But he did taste good... and in an odd sort of way he was acting kind of hot... but we're not at home!

I shoved him away, staring at the ground a moment to regain control and then looked back at him. “Someone could walk in, this is not the place!” I retorted trying to get my point across to him.

“You're pissing me off!” he muttered, pushing every item that was on my desk off and onto the floor. The computer... my books which were stacked in a certain order.... I had a few pictures there as well, among other things that would now be ruined. I can't be upset with him for that entirely though. He wasn't doing everything out of free will. He had a disorder...

He should have been done flipping out or at the very least directing it at me. He was supposed to aim it at all the useless objects in the room. Kris lifted me off the floor and set me on the desk before climbing on top of me.

Seriously? Why couldn't he just take it out on my office? I mean sure, I pissed him off... but usually he took it out on objects, as far as I was aware... not people. Maybe it was different with people he had interest in? This didn't make any sense!

His lips left mine moving to my neck, biting roughly. I bit my lip trying not to pay attention to how it was kind of hurting me. “Kris!” I yelled placing my hands on his chest to try and push him off of me. “This is a really bad idea. We're in my office!” I exclaimed now more afraid than really caring what he did with me. I didn't want to lose my job.

“Yeah, I know where we are. No one's gonna come in.” He moved from my neck to my ear.

I had to find some way to stop him... “You can't know that. The door is unlocked and we have thirty minutes till this session's up.” I mumbled nervously. My words were becoming jumbled. I didn't know what to do anymore. I knew he didn't care about anything else but this right now. But I had to try. There had to be some reasoning that would win... “We can't do this here. Wait til later!” My eyes darted around the room, my breathing spiking out of fear and pleasure.

“No one ever comes in during the sessions,” he said quietly in my ear before biting my earring and tugging on it.

My nails dug into his shoulders falling into him only for a minute. He roughly pulled off my tie then beginning to unbutton my shirt, placing kisses in a line down my torso as he uncovered skin. This was going to go further than just kissing me? Couldn't he get over his anger problem now? I didn't have a clue what to do with this! What does a therapist do when their client and boyfriend tries to do this? I can't scream for help... but I can't seem to stop him either.

“Kris, just calm down. Please. Can't this wait? This time isn't meant for this, nor is this place!” I complained sitting up as much as I could. I tried to stop him from removing my shirt my taking his hand in mine. “Calm down.” I repeated softly, gazing lovingly at him. Maybe if yelling and all that complaining wasn't working... kindness would? It had to.

“Stop being so stubborn.” He tore his hand away and pushed me back again. His lips were forced back on mine as he finished unbuttoning my shirt. My fingers were entangled in his hair, my tongue slipping past his lips to get a full hit. For just a moment I forgot where we were, what we were doing. I just breathed him in deeply. I waited another moment.

“Kris.” I lifted his head up. “Stop?” I asked one last time. I wasn't as stubborn as him. I knew that. I would lose this battle if he didn't give in on his own.

He didn't even bother replying he just pulled my shirt off completely and moved his lips to my chest. I could feel him leaving marks. My nails dug into Kris closing my eyes. I wouldn't win this. It was better just to give in. I would only end up in more pain if I didn't. I bit my lip trying to be okay with this and keep myself under enough control to not make any noise at all. “Fine... but we don't have all day and I’m gonna be pissed afterward,” I warned, but knew he wouldn't care.

“You're always pissed at me for something.” He smirked, running his hands down my sides resting his hands on my hips.

xxx

“I really can't believe you,” I muttered, buttoning my shirt back up, and redid my tie. I couldn't focus on one thing. It was impossible. What was I going to do now? I began picking up the objects he'd thrown on the floor earlier.

I couldn't look at the desk though... how the hell... I couldn't have patients near this either. I'd need a new one. How did this even really happen?

He just shrugged as if it was nothing, sitting on top of the desk kicking his legs back and forth. How can he act so damn casual? Like it was normal. It's not. It's not normal and it's not okay and it's not normal!

“Is it really that big of a deal? No one came in, Mr. Paranoid.”

“Yes! It's my office. Someone could if it happened again... and it won't happen again, Kris.” I glared piling things in the chair and a nearby table. “How the fuck can I go through the rest of the day like this?”

I wasn't sure exactly how I looked... but I knew how I felt. I was sure I had marks somewhere... and some were visible. My shirt also wasn't completely right, tie not properly tied and I just know I must have looked like a mess. I didn't have a comb... I just used my fingers to try and make my thick, unruly hair feel like it looked somewhat normal. I shouldn't be having this problem at ten fifty-five in the fucking morning! God dammit!

“Want me to run and get you some makeup to cover the marks up?” Kris laughed. How was this funny? And that confirmed at least part of what I was thinking about the marks. I’m not happy about it.

“You’re an ass. Why couldn't you wait?” I demanded trying to fix my hair again. I straightened my shirt a bit as well. I still didn't feel right. I felt gross.

“I don't know, maybe cause you pissed me off and I couldn't control myself.”

“Still should've waited,” I muttered angrily, kicking the chair out of frustration. “Fuck... I can't stay here... I need a shower... And you couldn't be gentle at all?” I threw my hands in the air. I could feel how much pain I would be in. My whole body was in pain. Desks are not comfortable... nor is a total asshole boyfriend who's being more rough than ever.

“I was pissed.” He laughed. “You expect me to be gentle when I’m pissed?” Yes. I did. He stood. “Well how many more people do you have to see?”

“I'm canceling the appointment. This place is a mess,” I noted, motioning to the mess he created. “I'm going home. It's kinda obvious I was just screwed, don't you think? And I wasn't like this when I came in. I can't stay here or my boss will notice. I will not lose my job.”

“Okay, okay, calm down. Can I come to your house, or are you too pissed at me to be in the same place as me?”

Hardly. I don't think I could get that pissed at him.

“Do what you want, you always do anyway.” I picked up the clipboard writing down some excuse why my office was a disaster.

“What did you write on there?” He asked curiously, following me. I kept my eyes on the clipboard so no one would take a second glance at me – or at least I wouldn't notice if they did.

“That you had an outburst and destroyed my office. Along with other things...” I handed Rhi the clipboard. “Cancel my appointment please. I’m too angry and feeling a bit ill.” I darted for the door before I could give her the chance to notice or say anything. I got in my car.

“So how long are you gonna be pissed at me?” Kris questioned, getting in the passenger's side.

Until I forget everything? Or feel clean...

“I don't know.” I pulled out of the parking lot and drove to my house as quick as possible. “I'm still trying to process what happened.”

“Is it really that hard?” he chuckled.

“How many boyfriends fuck their partner on their work desk? Tell me that.” It couldn't be that many. It wasn't normal. It wasn't.

“I'm sure there's plenty that do. I don't know, I’ll get on the internet and find you someone that's been fucked on their desk at work. You guys can complain to each other.” He wouldn't stop laughing. Was it really that funny? I didn't think so. What was wrong with him today?

“You're an ass.” Not that he didn't already know, I just like to remind him of this fact whenever he reminds me why I call him that so often.

“I couldn't help myself. Guess you should stop being so damn irresistible.” He smirked, following me out of the car and up to my house.

Fuckin smart-ass response.

“You should learn to control your urges.” I walked up the stairs entering my room to get some clothes. I felt so gross. How did that happen in my office? Really? Maybe I should start finding flavors he hates and eating whatever it is during the sessions so he stops taking advantage of me there. Would that even work? Maybe he likes everything...

“I'm getting in the shower,” I informed.

“Okay, have fun. I’ll be out here, I guess.” He pecked me on the lips before leaving to go sit on the couch. I heard him turn on the TV.

I guess this was all the time I would get to myself to calm down.