Caged Mentality

POV: Khristos Larkin

“Hey, Kris, wait...” Adrian said quietly after I set his fourth Cupcake on the bar in front of him. Not an actual cupcake, it's a drink, made with vanilla voldka and Sprite. It was what he always got. Adrian was one of our regulars, one of the more entertaining ones.

“I'm working.” I noted, but stopped. I didn't want to miss an opportunity to listen to his drunken, depressed ramblings. “What is it?”

“I just...” He stared down at the drink he'd just taken a sip of, eyes watering. “I just wanna talk to someone...”

“Okay, but I might have to serve drinks to other people. Not that it's all that busy here...” I scanned the bar, counting only three people, and one was passed out with their forehead on the bar. The bar wasn't so popular at the moment.

“That's fine... I just...” The tears welling in his eyes spilled over and he gulped down a fourth of his drink. “I feel so bad sometimes, for leaving my family... But what was I supposed to do? I wasn't happy there at all.” He sobbed, staring at me with overflowing gray eyes. “But my son... He's only seventeen, and he was always so unhappy, I'm sure my note on the bathroom mirror just made it worse... I'm a horrible father!” He crossed his arms on the bar and buried his face in them, crying heavily.

“Don't sweat it, Adrian, shit happens.” I gave a slight shrug. I felt pretty bad for the guy, he was always in here crying. It usually was pretty entertaining, but it's also kind of sad. “They should understand that. I mean, they're gonna be hurt for a while, but that's what makes people stronger, right?”

“I s-s-suppose so...” He stuttered through tears. I hoped he wasn't gonna start hyperventilating. Not like he'd done that here before, but there is a first time for everything, after all. “But what should I do, Kris? I don't want to go back, I mean, I can pay child support, but I feel so shitty sometimes... And my girlfriend just left me!” He sobbed even harder, straightening himself and downing more of his drink. “I gave her so much, and what does the bitch do? Leave me!” The waterfalls down his cheeks wouldn't stop, and he flailed his hands as he spoke, accidentally knocking his drink over, splashing Cupcake all over my front.

He just stared at it in shock, not knowing what to say. I looked down at my Soundgarden t-shirt, now smelling of vanilla voldka and lemon-lime soda.

“Don't worry about it, it's not a big deal.” I told him, giving him a half-smile. “It happens sometimes.”

“I am so sorry, Kris!” He exclaimed, sobs resuming. “I did not mean to do that, I just was... Just...” He buried his face in his palms.

“I said don't worry about it.” I laughed, pulling out a glass, Seagram's vanilla voldka, and Sprite. I filled the glass halfway with the voldka, then filled it up the rest of the way with Sprite. I stirred it before sliding it in front of Adrian, who immediately chugged half the glass.

“Hey, bartender, can I get some Absolut Asshole over here?” Someone called from a bit to the left of Adrian.

“Sure, gimme a second.” I replied without a glance in the guy's direction. I pulled out a shaker and put some ice in it, then poured in some Absolut voldka and DeKuyper Sour Apple Pucker schnapps. After mixing it up, I pulled out several shot glasses. At this point, I looked over at the customer, soon recognizing him as one of Riel's friends. The somewhat attractive one with brown hair and blue eyes. I couldn't remember his name though.

“Hey,” I began as I brought him the shot glasses and the mixed drink. “Weren't you here with Riel before? You're one of his friends?”

I already knew he was, I just wanted confirmation, maybe a name.

He looked up at me, then started filling the shot glasses. “My name's Greg.” He informed. “And yeah. I was.” He mumbled dryly. “Damn bastard said he was too tired to come out tonight. Feel like a third wheel.” He glanced over at the crowd in the dancing area.

“Oh.” I paused, trying to think of a way I could find out more about how Riel's been without seeming obsessive or nosy. I ditched that and decided to just ask whatever the hell I wanted to. Who cares if he thinks I'm obsessive or nosy? “Well how's he been lately? Aside from the tiredness.”

“Not too sure.” Greg yawned, stretching his arms. He then downed one of his shots. “He's been really out of it. I only see him if I go to his house.”

“And you don't have any idea why?” I questioned, leaning forward on my arms, curious. I wanted to know if it had to do with me, though I was pretty sure it did. “He hasn't told you anything?”

“Well the last time he got like this, it was family. Man was that hard to deal with...” He sighed, leaning back a bit. “I'm not sure what's up this time do you know? I forget... You're that kid, right? One of his patients. Carl... Or Chris or something....”

Carl? Seriously?

“It's Kris. I'm not his patient anymore though.” I informed, almost wishing it wasn't true. I missed Riel. “We had some issues a little over week ago and I stopped going to therapy. I haven't talked to him since that day, that's why I'm asking how he is.”

“Someone crushing on him?” Greg raised an eyebrow, then gulped down his third shot. “You wouldn't be the first. You poor li'l baby.” He smirked.

His drink fit him. Asshole.

I rolled my eyes. “He refused to be with me because he wanted to avoid hurting me. But he does return my feelings.”

He got a thoughtful look on his face. “Really?” He suddenly got serious and glared at me. What the fuck? “He's not the dating type.”

I gave a slight shrug, getting slightly annoyed by this guy. “He had a hard time refusing to be with me. It was pretty obvious he was fighting with himself over it.”

“He wouldn't date anyone. Its not his thing.” He mumbled, now on his fifth shot. “I don't see how he could have a hard time saying no. Not that you aren't hot or anything. He just likes having a good time.”

“He specifically said he wanted to be with me. But he just kept giving these stupid reasons why he couldn't...” I said, getting a bit angry toward Riel. I hated his stupid excuses. “I think its safe to say that I'm the reason he's been acting so out of it. He wants to be with me, but he won't let himself, so he's unhappy.”

“Yeah, okay...” He muttered. He looked irritated. “Maybe you don't know, and I don't want to sound like a dick, but I don't like change. You're threatening that.”

Then I remembered what Riel had told me about how he only slept with the guys in his circle of friends. This guy was one of them. Now I couldn't help but feel even more pissed and a bit jealous.

“Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ruin your life by making Riel fall for me.” I said, voice dripping with sarcasm, a half smirk on my face. “Like I was even worried about you losing your easy fuck. I honestly couldn't care less. You can go find someone else.”

“I don't wanna. I like having Riel. Besides I've had this deal with him for over six years. We like it this way. And you're his patient.” He laughed, downing his last shot. I was starting to really dislike this guy. “Stay the fuck away from him.” He spat, though he was still laughing. Absolut Asshole... Did they name that drink after him?

“I'm not his patient anymore. I told you that. And if he's not gonna give in and be with me you're gonna have a depressed Riel pretty often. Just having a friend with benefits his whole life is gonna leave him empty and he'll always regret not being with me. I told him that.”

He gave a small shrug. “I guess that's true.” He stared at the counter a brief moment before lifting his gaze to me. “I'm not a douche bag. I'll take care of him 'til he's over you. He'll date somebody someday, but it can't be you. He'd never agree to date right now. It's a fact.”

Fucking liar. He has no idea.

“He'll come to his sense soon enough.” I assured him. “He will belong to me eventually. So I suggest you start finding a replacement.”

“Like I couldn't get him in bed even if he was with you.” He fucking laughed. Like that's funny. I definitely was not at all amused. “I'm not sure... He'd feel horrible about it the next day.”

“He has enough self-control to stop before it got too far. He had enough to stop me when I was with him. He didn't want to sleep with me and then not be with me.” I noted, then realized Greg knew Riel better than I did. He would have an easier time making Riel forget self-control even existed.

“You contaminated him?” He questioned, though he wasn't at all upset about it. “He is one hell of a kisser though, don't you think? Those snakebites make it even more fun.” He grinned. I wanted to punch him so badly.

“Yeah, I suppose. But this isn't a teenage girl slumber party, I don't want to talk about how great kissing a dude is.” I said, wanted Greg to just shut up.

“And why not? I like talking about it, you're one of the few I know who have kissed him. I don't get to talk about him at all.” He said, as if talking about kissing someone was completely normal for everyone.

“Because it's weird. And it just makes me miss Riel. You can see him whenever you want... I can't.” I said, sighing lightly. Deciding I was thirsty, I pulled out a tall glass, putting some ice into it before pulling out a Sobe energy drink and a Captain Morgan Parrot Bay coconut rum. I poured a bit of both into the glass, then stirred it. Viola, an Adrenaline Rush.

“Yeah... I guess so. You could... I'd just wanna kill you if you did... But then he'd be sad...” He rambled, obviously tipsy. “Sorry kid. You're not the first with this problem.”

“You're sorry?” I scoffed. “Bullshit.” I took a couple gulps of my drink. I didn't have these very often, but they were pretty delicious. “Not like I need sympathy anyway. I can deal with my problems without people feeling bad for me.”

“You have more hope than the last few. One was a chick, so you can imagine how that went. Another one he almost dated, until he ran into a few of the guys ex's. He never really liked any of them. He did try a girl one time, when he was younger. Lasted maybe a few months. Couldn't do it though. He's never been the boyfriend type.”

“Why are you telling me this?” I questioned, confused. “I thought you wanted me to stay away from him. Now you're telling me that I have a chance with him?”

“I don't make any sense. Alright? I'm tipsy.” He laughed. “Seriously stay away from him. He'll get over you then.”

No shit he was tipsy.

“I have been staying away from him. I told him I didn't wanna be around him anymore if I couldn't have him. But I haven't given up really, I still wanna be with him, and you're not gonna stop me.” I said, my determination sounding more like cockiness. Just a bit.

“Wanna bet? You are staying away from Riel. He'll never get over his problems if you go near him.” He glared at me. “So fuck off. You're just a baby.”

Just a baby? I was nineteen. And how old was he, mid twenties? Not that big of a difference, asshole.

“He wants to be with me.” I noted, beyond annoyed. “If you really cared about him you'd be okay with something that makes him happy.”

“He'd feel like he'd mess, then he would mess up because of it. Then he'd hate himself more then he already does. I'm helping Riel.”

Helping Riel my ass...

“He won't mess up if he determines not to. And if he does anyway, it wouldn't be anything I wouldn't forgive him for. He'll be happier with me then he will be as your friend with benefits.”

“You don't really know Riel.” He stated, sure of that fact. I already acknowledged Greg knew Riel better than I did. “I do. Back off. You will let him be.”

“I will?” I half laughed. I gave Greg a challenging smirk. “Make me.” I wanted a fight, and it was obvious in my voice. It was hard to stay on this side of the counter. But I had to. I wasn't getting fired today.

“Hey, I've got no problem beating the shit out of you.” He grinned, standing. Fuck, it was hard to resist fighting him. “If that's what it would take.”

“Kicking your ass isn't worth losing my job. Unless it's self defense, I can't fight you without getting fired and I don't think you intend to pull me over the bar to pick a fight and cause a scene.” I noted, keeping my composure. It was necessary. If this was anywhere else though, we'd be brawling already. But the bar kept me calm.

“I could. But I never said we had to fight here now did I?” He glared at me again. What was it with him and glaring? “I'll beat the shit out of you if you go near him.”

“Go ahead and try. You won't win.” I informed, leaning forward again with my arms resting on the bar. No way he'd beat me in a fight. “You won't have your deal with Riel much longer.”

“Like hell I wont. You wanna avoid him. And I could beat you shitless. You wouldn't be the first one I fight.”

Arrogant bastard. Not that I could really complain. But hey, being a drummer builds muscle, which he didn't seem to have all that much of.

“I'm not going to avoid him forever.” I said as I straightened. I wasn't taking this shit from him anymore. “Now get out of this building before I call the bouncers on you. You're threatening an employee.”

“Yeah whatever. I gotta make sure your wannabe boyfriend isn't slicing it up anyway.” He shrugged, glancing over at the crowd again before returning his gaze to me. “You already deserve to be fucked up.” He glared at me before walking away.

'Slicing it up?' What the hell does that mean, Riel is cutting?

Shit. It's my fault, too. Fuck.