Tied Down To This Bed Of Shame

I tried my first cigarette today, it hurt my throat and made my eyes water, it turns out I’m allergic to the stuff inside of it.
Never again will I smoke, Dylin always smokes after sex, I did my research people say smoking helps you feel emotionally distant, he doesn’t love me at all.

I want to get a new boyfriend but I don’t want Dylin to hurt me. I know he'll get angry if i try to leave him. This isn't as fun as i thought it would be...