Sensations

I did my best to focus on Dayne’s melodic voice as he read the completed draft of our first journalism assignment though my thoughts continuously wandered elsewhere. My fingers continuously twitched as they tangled and untangled themselves, begging to feel the velvet soft skin of Dayne’s bare forearms again. It’s as if they had minds of their own since I would constantly catch them straying towards my left knee, the one that Dayne’s strong hand rested upon.

I’m torn between regretting and loving the experience of ‘seeing’ Dayne that took place just about an hour earlier. The thoughts of tracing his facial features, his strong arms, and a neck that I would love to devour with my lips made my fingers itch for more. The way his fingers twisted with mine was almost playful, something I’d like to do again. The entire experience just made me want more. I mean, if his biceps were like that, he’s got to have some nice muscles to him.

I sighed as his melodic voice halted, signaling that he finished reading off the final assignment to me. I cocked my head in the direction that I knew he lay in and I allowed a tiny smile to form on my lips. “I like it,” I elaborated for him.

“You’re not the only one,” he muttered, slightly distracted. He’s been off since we actually started working and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t worry. I guess the entire experience just wasn’t enjoyable to him… I mean, it must be creepy to be touched by a damn blind kid who is trying to figure out what you look like.

An uncomfortable and awkward silence settled upon us, creeping up on us like a monster that was waiting to devour us whole once the proper time strikes. It’s beyond obvious that we both have different views on what had happened earlier, though he was the one that prompted me to do it in the beginning. If anyone is at fault, it’s him! He’s the one who was so into it that he was biting me. My fingertips still tingled where he nibbled on them…

I grunted as I shook my head from side to side, dispersing the thought from my mind before it led somewhere much worse. I didn’t care that the action was so sudden and I probably freaked Dayne out, it just happened. It seems that he had already written me off as a freak anyway. And to think I thought he was different…

“I think I’m gonna call my sister and have her pick me up,” I murmured softly, throwing my legs over the side of the bed as I felt around with my feet for my shoes. The softness of his carpet rubbing against my sock-clad foot was bound to create and electric current, shocking the next person to touch me.

And that’s exactly what it did when Dayne’s big, strong hand shot out to grab my shoulder, restraining me. He pulled it back as he hissed in shock. Of course he wasn’t expecting it.

“Why don’t you stay for some pizza?” He questioned me politely; his tone sounded a bit hopeful.

This boy needs to make up his mind already because he’s making it impossibly hard for me to get a read on him. One second we’re bordering on a level of intimacy that people would kill to experience and than the next he’s completely ignoring me because our bogus assignment had suddenly become his main priority. And now he’s inviting me to stay for dinner when for the last hour or so he would only talk to me out of obligation for my opinions on the assignment. He’s everywhere.

“I don’t want to intrude,” I muttered, leaning down and putting my thumb in the heel of my sneaker so that I can slip it on, but his voice rang out, stopping me.

“You’re not intruding if I want you there, Joshua,” he said matter-of-factly. Looks like Dayne likes me again…?

I turned towards him, trying to suppress the huge grin that wants to paint itself on my features and settling for an almost shy smile, my head ducking a little bit. “I’d like that.”

“Good.” You could practically hear the smile in his voice, causing my own smile to widen considerably.

**********

Dayne and I simultaneously perked up as the doorbell chimed throughout the house, echoing as it signaled the arrival of our pizza. I once again threw my legs off of the side of his bed, the area next to me indenting and throwing me slightly of kilter, signaling that he was doing the same thing as me. His deep chuckle echoed around the room as his hand found its way to the small of my back, resting their comfortably as he slowly nudged me forward. He allowed my feet to move in front of me, my footsteps moving slowly as to not trip over anything though I know that Dayne wouldn’t allow that to happen to me, the delicious aroma of the pizza floating up to us as we drew nearer and nearer to the staircase.

Once there, his hands gently grabbed my hips, causing me to bite my lip softly since it was a soft spot of mine. We descended the stairs, his grip on my hips never ceasing to catch me if I’d overstep a step and end up lurching forward unexpectedly. I still have a lot to learn about his house. It’s times like this that make me realize he’s very responsible, careful, and protective when he chooses to be, though they seem to be natural instincts of his as well. That or I could just be special, but I can’t allow myself to get ahead of myself. I’m definitely the furthest thing from special.

When we reached the bottom of the stairs his hands removed themselves, his calloused fingers curling themselves around my wrist to tug me gently in the direction of what I assumed was the kitchen. Each step I took forward made my mouth water because of my hunger. I haven’t eaten for hours and was otherwise preoccupied by more important things.

“Dayne!” A warm, voice greeted. It was filled with love and adoration, that of a perfect mother. “And you have a friend…” She trailed off, probably trailing her eyes along my body, assessing my every movement and flaw, not that she’s any different from the hundreds of other people who do that to me every day.

Dayne slyly lead me over to a chair, placing my hands on the back of it slowly as a silent form of telling me to stay there while he got us our food.

“I’m Joshua,” I piped up, tilting my head in the direction that I assumed the voice to be from.

“Margaret,” the female voice rung out softly, followed by a rather gruff and unforgiving voice introducing himself as Bill. These must be Dayne’s parents…

I made sure to smile as I nodded my head politely, my fingers itching to know what Dayne was doing and to have his touch run along my skin again. His touch seems to calm me and put my racing thoughts at ease. I hated knowing that I was under direct scrutiny, especially that of parental figures since they can so easily end any chance of friendship I have with a person out of pity or disgust.

“It’s nice to meet you both,” I said honestly, trying to be polite and simple.

“Alright, before the interrogation begins, I’m stealing him from you two and taking him to the living room,” Dayne announced, his voice inches away from my ear. I almost jumped at the unexpectedness until I felt the tips of his fingers run across the back of my arm calmingly, telling me where he is.

“Alright, Dayne,” Margaret said almost exasperatedly. What would that tone be about?

“Bye, Grandma,” Dayne muttered quietly though his tone was thick with respect and love.

Wait… Grandma?

I opened my mouth to voice my questions, but was silenced by Dayne’s fingers entangling with my own, tugging me out of the room almost hurriedly. I let him drag me along before he gently pushed down on my shoulders, allowing me to settle against the cushions of what seemed to be his living room couch. Seconds after his heavenly touch disappeared from my shoulder, the sounds of the news floated throughout the room before the couch dipped next to me, Dayne’s knee knocking mine in the process.

“One slice or two?” He questioned me seriously, making me chuckle softly.

“One is fine,” I muttered, holding my hands out for the plate that held my dinner. He placed the paper plate within my grasp as I settled myself against the cushions, my knees still pressed against his leg as he handed me a cold water bottle as well. I tucked it against the back of the couch and my thigh, making a mental note not to forget about it or knock it over.

I traced my finger along the edge of the paper plate, my touch indenting along the indented ovular shapes along the edges of the plate before it slowly went to grab the pizza, my hand shooting back almost immediately.

“It’s hot,” Dayne warned around a chuckle, though it was slightly muffled which led me to believe that he had his first mouthful of pizza in his mouth.

I brought my finger to my lips, sucking on the tiny patch of burned skin gently as my slice of pizza cooled off, licking off all of the greasy oil that always makes pizza delicious. “No shit,” I muttered under my breath.

“Tsk, tsk, Joshua,” he teased me in what seemed to be a playfully mocking tone. “Bad words will get you nowhere.”

“I cannot believe you’re lecturing me,” I said deadpan, fighting to keep the smile off of my lips though I was barely succeeding.

“Someone has to keep you in line,” he continued before the distinct sound of the tab on a soda can could be heard around the room.

“Whatever you say, Dayne, whatever you say,” I muttered, choosing not to argue as I started to dig into my slice of pizza, the taste dancing across my taste buds. I devoured it within minutes, same with my bottle of water. I truly didn’t know how hungry I was.

I turned to Dayne who was supposedly finishing up his second slice of pizza. I guess it’s true what they say, growing boys need to eat,especially if they want to keep gorgeous muscles like his.

“So,” I muttered, catching his attention, trying to make small talk. “You live with your grandparents,” I stated more than questioned, though I did say it in a questioning tone.

“Yeah, I do,” he murmured in response.

“Why?” I asked curiously, wanting to know more about him.

He sighed before shifting closer to me, probably since he had finished his food and we were actually holding a conversation now instead of eating. “Long story short,” he began, “when I came out about being bisexual to my parents they were really disappointed in me. They’re really big homophobes and they were sort of disgusted with me. It was inevitable that I’d get kicked out of my house and it was a very hostile living environment for me too, so my grandparents sort of rescued me when they caught wind what was going on before my parents actually did kick me out, though they might as well already have. It was as if housing me was an obligation since I was their only child instead of them wanting to house me, you know?” He explained quickly, all in one rush. It was quite clear that this is a topic that he tries to avoid. “They even tried to get me to stop being friends with Evan because they thought he corrupted me.”

I scoffed, shaking my head at their idiocy. I barely known Evan and it’s clear that Dayne and him might as well be brothers. As parents, they should know that Evan is that person that Dayne could always rely on. “That’s absolutely ludicrous,” I muttered, more to myself than him.

“I know,” he murmured. “I’m happy now though. I don’t regret moving out. At least my grandparents accept me for who I am, flaws and weird quirks included,” he admitted, nothing but sincerity and respect in his tone. His grandparents sound like amazing people…

“If it makes you feel better,” I muttered, “I live with my older sister, Kat.”

I could feel his body tilt towards mine as his curiosity got the best of him before his melodic voice drifted towards me. “Why?” He questioned me simply.

I took a deep breath before leaning forward a bit, my fingers tangling with themselves as a form of distraction. “My parents are both dead,” I stated simply, not wanting to get into detail since it was a very personal topic that I don’t share with many.

“Oh, Joshua, I’m so sorry,” he murmured quietly and apologetically, his hands coming out to take my own as they squeezed them reassuringly, our fingers going back to that dance that they engaged in earlier. His calloused skin against my rather long and unusually thin fingers proved to be a great contrast, sending tingling sensations throughout my fingertips before I finally just gripped his hand with my own, entwining them.

“It’s cool,” I said sincerely. “It’s the past and they’d want me to move on,” I stated simply.

“If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here,” he murmured quietly, scooting closer to me as he tightened his grip on my hands, my own tightening in response.

I let his words sink in as I scooted closer to him, resting my head on his shoulder as a silent way of thanking him. There’s still so much to learn about Dayne, but from what little I already know or have assumed, he seems like the type of guy that I could trust with my past. He puts my jumbled thoughts at ease, giving me a more positive aspect in life to temporarily focus on until I am forced away from his presence. Just having a friend like him could prove to change me, though it can provide it’s own obstacles as well.

“I know, Dayne, I know,” I murmured quietly.

And the truth is that I did know. Sure, I don’t fully trust him right now because we still have a great deal to learn about each other, but anyone who seems to so easily and naturally calm me is alright in my book.

I can honestly say that he’s the only person in my life, besides Kat, that’s gone out of their way to help me. And because of that, I know he’s someone that I have to keep close to me. I don’t plan on letting him go anytime soon.