Sensations

It was hard to wipe the smile off of my face as I pulled into the driveway that led to Evan’s house. It’s only Sunday, but I haven’t seen Evan since Friday. It sucks missing your best friend since they’re that one person in the world that possesses the ability to brighten your dark days. He’s just always there for me, you know? I can’t go a while without his company. Despite the love and support that I get daily from my grandparents, I identify better with Evan since I’ve known him from the beginning and he’s my age.

I hopped out of my car, quickly opening the door and jogging to his front door, knocking twice before I let myself in. His house is like my second home and his parents gave me a key to their home, telling me to walk right in whenever I pleased. I was always welcome under their roof and that truly is a comforting fact.

“Hey!” I called into the house as I walked into the living room, wondering where Evan was.

“Yo! In my room!” He called down to me. I rolled my eyes since I should have known he was up there. His room was like the ultimate bachelors pad anyway. It was decked out with awesome gaming systems and stereos. His parents sold things like that for a living, so he always has the newest technological devices in his possession. He never allows anything to go to his head though, which is something I love about him. I’m proud to call him my best friend.

“What’s up?” I asked excitedly as I entered his room, seeing his body resting in one of his two huge, black beanbag chairs in the corner of his room. I quickly walked up to him, clamping my hand on his shoulder in a friendly manner as I threw my body into the black bean bag beside his, watching him finish his game of Call of Duty intently.

“Not much,” he answered in a way that made me feel stupid since it was obvious what he was doing. “You’re the one that called me all excited,” he said around a victorious smile since the congratulatory winning certificate came up on the screen. “What’s up with you?”

“Oh, not much,” I answered casually, looking down at my black t-shirt and picking off invisible pieces of lint. “Just the fact that I may be getting a new boyfriend soon.”

He looked at me before rolling his eyes and releasing a snort. “You’re going to have so many girls on your ass if you do,” he said around a chuckle. “Who?” He went on to question.

I looked at him, a slight blush covering my cheeks as I answered, “Joshua.”

“What?” He deadpanned, his eyes widening in shock before he quickly started stuttering, not wanting to insult me. “I mean, I’m happy for you and all, man, for real. I’m just surprised and everything.”

I looked at him rolling his eyes. “Let me explain?”

He just nodded his head eagerly, not even bothering to ask the child-like curiosity that was reflected in his eyes.

“I don’t know what to say, to be honest,” I admitted. “I just really like him as a person and he’s just really chill and has this cute sense of humor that’s similar to mine. And Friday some douche knocked him into a locker and he was bleeding really badly so I took him home to fix him up because he looked really scared and lost and I couldn’t just leave him there! And I don’t know, I ended up kissing him right before he left. Like, more than once, and he didn’t push me away and since it’s happened, I’ve wanted to do it again.” I waited for his response as I silently chastised myself for saying all of that in one breath. It was a huge, verbal run-on sentence. I would gauge my eyes out of I were to ever write that out in one of my journalism pieces.

“You kissed him?” He muttered, eyebrows raising.

“Is that all you got out of that, Evan? Really?” I asked. “Yes, I kissed him and I liked it, but that’s not the point. The point is that I’m worried about him because Greg keeps terrorizing him!”

“It wasn’t Greg that hit him on Friday,” he responded knowledgeable.

“You can’t know that,” I defended, eyebrows knitting together.

“Confession time for me?” He questioned. I just nodded my head, not knowing where he was getting at. “Greg and I are sorta… a thing.” He muttered. “Like, I don’t know what we are,” he said exasperatedly, “but we aren’t friends.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” I said, throwing my hands up in shock. “I tell you that I like this guy who it’s pretty obvious that I like and then you throw this… this… this bomb at me?” I questioned. “How could you even think about kissing such an asshole? He’s disgusting and rude!”

Evan just looked at me, rolling his eyes at my antics like the calm and understanding guy he is, waiting for my little tantrum to be over before he continued. “I let you explain, so now it’s my turn,” he said simply. “After the second time that Joshua got hurt, I went and found Greg as you know and just totally beat the shit out of him. He deserved it for beating up on such a defenseless creature for no reason,” he said. “But then I found out he wasn’t in school the next day so I went to the hospital and visited him and realized I really did a number on him and I felt bad. I wanted to hurt him, but not land him in the hospital, you know?” He said, prompting me to nod my head in understanding. “So I apologized and stuff and we started talking because I didn’t really know what else I ended up going to the hospital for and then this nurse came and totally jacked him up on some of those creepy hospital drugs that make you do crazy shit and he was, like, hitting on me mad hard and then he just kissed me which freaked me out because I thought this dude hated gays and people like us, you know? So I asked him what was up and he just kept trying to kiss me and I think he was just in, like, denial, so I left, but he came to my house the next day and we just sat down and talked shit out and he took me out the other day even though he’s staying home since he has some broken ribs right now, but I think he really likes me and he’s just struggling and stuff, but we’re not dating, but we like, go out and kiss,” he finished off confusedly. “He’s been doing really good lately,” he finally finished off.

I paused, staring at my best friend as if he suddenly grew a second cranium. “I’m not even going to sit here and lie to you,” I muttered, “but I have no clue what to say right now.”

“I know,” he muttered, “but you’re my best friend and I just wanted you to know. I mean, haven’t you noticed that he’s been leaving Joshua alone lately? I made him promise to.”

“But Joshua’s still getting hurt, obviously,” I muttered.

“I know, I told Greg that since he’s still out of school and it was one of his asshole friends that I still hate. I guess he sorta told them about us and they’re smart enough not to tell anyone because they know they’d be dead, but they’re not happy at all about it and stuff,” he said, trying to make sense of this entire situation, though I must admit, I see where he is coming from.

“Get him to make them stop,” I said awkwardly, my mind still blown from Evan’s little confession.

“I will,” he promised me.

I just nodded my head, not knowing what to say as I leaned back into my chair. “I don’t like Greg,” I finally said, “but if you like him and you’re saying he’s changing, all the power to you two. You’re my best friend and I want you to be happy, man. It’s just gonna take some time for me to get used to him,” I admitted. “He sorta spent most of the year attempting to kill the dude I like.”

A dry chuckle forced its way past Evan’s lips as he shook his head. “I know,” he said, “but I have a good feeling about this, strangely enough. We’re not really telling anyone besides our best friends though. We want to keep it on the down low since he’s still struggling,” he clarified.

“Are you sure he’s not just using you to confirm his sexuality?” I muttered worriedly.

“Yeah,” he clarified. “That’s what he’s passing it off as, but he’s bi if not gay. He enjoys kissing me, another man, and he enjoys cuddling up to me when he falls asleep because of his pain medications,” he said. “He’s just a bit in denial still.”

“Whatever you say, man,” I muttered, nodding my head. If Evan likes him, I guess I can give him a new chance.

“I don’t really know how to explain all this to Joshua,” I muttered absentmindedly.

“Well, you don’t have to,” Evan said. “You can wait a bit until you two are more comfortable with each other."

“He deserves to know,” I responded, cuddling into my beanbag chair.

“Just wait until things between you two are more set in stone. You haven’t talked since Friday and it seems like you two left on a rather undecided note,” he muttered. “Leaving things at a kiss isn’t always that smart, Dayne,” he chastised me.

“Hey,” I defended. “His sister was outside, waiting to pick him up. I would have been perfectly fine with holding onto him for a few more hours,” I admitted sheepishly.

“Poor kid would have been eaten alive by your face,” he said around snickers.

“Shut up, man! We didn’t even use tongue. It was simple and sweet, just like him,” I said around a blush, looking away from him.

“You wanted it to go further,” he declared, a maniacal laugh breaking past his lips.

“Of course I did. You have to admit that Joshua’s gorgeous, even if it’s in an unconventional way,” I said, making Evan nod his head. “But he’s special and we need to take things slow. I’ll do that since that’s what he needs,” I said.

“Good.”

“Yeah,” I muttered. “He’s just really, really hot.”

“Physical attraction leads to sex!” Evan chortled, repeating the line that he told me when I first started to become attracted to Joshua.

“Evan!” I screamed, my cheeks warming at the thought of engaging in such an intimate act with such a beautiful creature as Joshua. “He’s not a toy.”

“I never said he was,” Evan defended himself. “You two need to get together already.”

“I just need to find the right time to talk to him. I still don’t know how he reacted to the kiss and stuff,” I muttered awkwardly, suddenly worried that maybe he only kissed me back because he didn’t know what to do. Or maybe he only kissed me back because he felt bad for me since I was continuously dropping little hints that I wanted to all day. Or maybe he just acted all giddy afterwards because it was his first kiss and he was in shock. He could hate me for ruining such an amazing memory for him!

“Talk to him in journalism tomorrow,” he stated blandly. “It’s Monday, the weekend will be over. Ask him out if he’s giving off a good vibe,” he said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

I threw my head back against the bean bag, staring at the ceiling as the contents of my chair crunched beneath me, rearranging them to mold against my body. “What is with you stating such obvious solutions that make me feel incredibly stupid today?”

“Today?” He questioned. “You’re like this every day!”

“Shut up,” I muttered, not really having the energy to argue with my best friend right now. “I’ll ask him tomorrow though. That was a good idea,” I admitted.

“I’m chock full of them shits,” he said around a chuckle, crawling off of his bag to lightly toss a controller in my lap, popping in some sort of racing game or something.

“It’s gonna feel like forever for tomorrow to come,” I stated as the game started.

“Just forget about it for now. The more you stress, the longer it’ll seem,” he muttered. “But good luck with Joshua. You two really seem like you’d make a cute couple and it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. My opinion is better than all of theirs combined.”

“Okay, ass,” I said around a chuckle, my eyes now on the television screen. “Good luck with Greg.”

All I got in response was a victorious little howl from him as he started kicking my ass in the videogame. Damn him. He never lets me win at anything.