Sensations

This overwhelming feeling of guilt consumed me as Dayne and I walked away from the movie theater, heading towards an unknown diner that he claims serves absolutely fantastic food. My stomach grumbled audibly as we walked further and further away from the captivating smell of movie theater buttered popcorn and closer to the unknown mixture of smells that belongs to any city’s downtown area.

“Hungry much?” Dayne teased me quietly before I felt the slightest of pressure on the back of my neck, the soft pads of his fingers twisting with the loose tendrils of my newly dyed hair as they massaged the back of my neck in an almost comforting way. I could feel my head arch back slightly, craning into his touch, as I got lost in this new sensation, allowing Dayne to just lead me whichever way he pleased.

“Apologetic,” I cut in, dismissing his question since the answer was rather obvious due to my overly talkative stomach. I turned my head to my left, feeling as if it were easier to communicate with him without attracting too much negative attention, though I feel as if the hustle and bustle that normally surrounds a Saturday night spent downtown wouldn’t allow us to stick out too much. Most kids are probably busy partying anyway.

“Don’t be,” he insisted, giving my neck a tight little squeeze before he began dipping his finger slightly below the collar of my t-shirt, running it along my collar bone as his other finger somehow managed to massage the back of my neck still. Were his fingers tentacles or something? It should be illegal for someone to have such enticing, slender fingers because it’s way too easy to get lost in them.

“It’s my fault, though,” I grumbled as I took the tiniest step to the left, a dry chuckle escaping my lips once I realized I simply stepped onto Dayne’s heavy-booted right foot. I jumped back, earning a soft chuckle from him as his hand removed itself from my neck, choosing to place itself against my side and tug me into him. His body heat immediately overwhelmed the left side of my body, spreading by way of my veins, but I couldn’t help but miss the slight pressure on the back of my neck. I liked that.

“You can’t control what’s in theater’s, Joshua,” he said around a short laugh, carefully pulling my hip against his as he rotated his body to the side, swinging me around with him as a form of turning on the sidewalk.

I shook my head at his dramatic antics, but appreciated the help nonetheless. This isn’t the place to bother attempting to learn how to count my steps and make my way around. I normally steer clear of loud areas with too many bodies per mile, but Dayne always finds ways around my rules. He’s the main exception to them all, really.

“We should go back. I don’t want to ruin tonight. I’ll sit through the stupid chick flick about the girl who marries her childhood boyfriend,” I grumbled, attempting to turn around, only to have Dayne’s heavy arm wrap itself around my stomach, the inner part of his elbow gently pressing into my belly button as his fingers grabbed my hipbones.

“Oh no you don’t!” He declared. “We’re, like, practically at the diner and I’m not going to sit through a stupid chick flick. I’d prefer a horror too.”

“Horror flicks are the only movies where I have an idea of what’s going on,” I grumbled lazily, still trying to break free of his grasp uselessly as I stepped forward, stuck in place because of his muscular arm.

“Why must you be so argumentative?” Dayne murmured, though I could practically hear the smile in his voice, carried by a soft breeze that blew my hair awkwardly.

I halted in my attempts to break free, surprised that he’d actually challenge me in such a way, but before I could respond, I felt his arm tighten around me and a loud chuckle pass his lips as the ground suddenly disappeared from beneath my feet. I flailed uselessly, laughing in response to his rambunctious laughter as he carried me somewhere, my feet completely unable to touch the ground.

“This isn’t okay!” I shouted around laughter as I heard a soft bell in the distance, signaling that we were inside what I assumed to be the diner. They were famous to have those annoying little bells that signaled everyone’s entrance and exit into the cliché, shiny establishment with booth tables lining every wall and what Kat describes to me as a dark and light checkerboard patterned floor.

“You’re right, you’re right,” Dayne agreed as he gently set me back onto the floor. I exhaled a sigh of relief as I caught my breath, immediately aware that there were probably plenty of couples surrounding us now, but I was more grateful for the fact that I could feel the firmness of the ground beneath my feet.

I trust Dayne for some unknown reason, he makes me feel safe, and even though I know he would never willingly hurt me, I still prefer my feet firmly planted on the ground. Anything involving being moved by some other force where I’m not in complete control of myself, I think I may screech. Cars, planes, anything of the sort, is just a no-no. Dayne’s embrace, now that’s still up for debate.

“Come on,” Dayne said excitedly, his hand suddenly wrapping itself around my own, the small callus slowly forming on his thumb rubbing across my knuckles in the oddest of ways. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but almost shocking and slightly pleasant. It had me biting my lip curiously as Dayne dragged me around the diner, my shoes occasionally squeaking against the floor as I attempted to decipher this new feeling welling up within me. This unknown sensation would come back to haunt me tonight when I’m attempting to sleep.

I hate not knowing how I feel, but Dayne never ceases to confuse me. Then again, that may not necessarily be a bad thing, since he can so easily bring a shy smile to my lips.

“You know,” Dayne muttered a bit distractedly, “when someone pulls out a chair for you, that means you’re supposed to sit in it.”

“Wait, what?” I asked dumbfounded, reaching my hands out in his direction and stepping back as my fingers clashed with his hard, easily identifiable upper-arm. I sheepishly traced my fingers down his arm until I reached his knuckles, allowing myself to scrape my fingers across them as he did for me before I pulled the chair gently from his grasp, seating myself in it as I heard the satisfying whoosh of air leaving the worn out, plastic cushion of the chair.

“This is so unlike you,” he commented as he pulled out his chair, the scrape of it being pulled out being really obvious in the quiet diner. How did I not notice that before?

“I’ve been pre-occupied,” I admitted quietly, allowing him to interpret that every which way he wanted.

There was a soft pause, nothing but companionable silence, before he spoke again. “I’m really happy that you’ve been loosening up a lot lately, Joshua,” his soft voice rang across the table.

I just shrugged my shoulders, not really knowing how to respond as I went to lean against the back of my chair, instead almost slipping off the edge since I didn’t realize the original shape of the cushion.

Dayne’s deep chuckle immediately sounded in my ears, as did the obnoxious scraping of chair legs against the floor as he pulled it closer to me. Another soft whoosh of air sounded as he probably sat down, his fingers immediately returning to the nape of my neck, causing me to almost immediately lean back and curl into his touch once more.

He sighed at my antics as I heard the soft flaps of a menu hitting a table, his finger dipping below the very edge of my shirt collar, rubbing against my collarbone again. I sighed, settling against him.

“Aren’t these places supposed to have cheesy booths that squeak when you make the smallest of moves and old music that makes you want to throw yourself out of a window even though you tap your foot to the beat?” I asked playfully as I turned towards him, playing with the corner of his menu with my fingers.

“Old diner, yes, cheesy, no,” he stated, “and I asked for a table in the back just in case. No booths back here,” he finished explaining.

“Makes sense,” I finally decided, curling my fingers nervously as I waited for him to say something. I don’t really know how to carry conversations at times like this.

“So, what do you want to eat?” He asked happily.

“Like I can read a menu,” I stated sarcastically, rolling my eyes, but smiling quietly nonetheless. I never really thought I’d be capable of joking about my disability with someone. I guess it’s just another redeeming quality that Dayne possesses.

“I think that you should let me order for you,” he decided. “I know this place so well. My parents used to take me here back in the day,” he murmured quietly, his voice drifting off slowly as if he were getting lost in a memory.

Honestly, I’m honored that he’d take me here if it has such important meaning to him.

I sighed as I raised my hand, hoping someone would notice me. “Waiter? Waitress?” I called out quietly, laughing when a voice that could only belong to a petite old lady with graying hair asked us for our orders happily, introducing herself as Madge. Madge smelled like milk and cookies too.

And as Dayne ordered food for both of us, I couldn’t help but revel in how perfect this evening could be for the two of us. The perfect mix of cliché and uniqueness, as well as a load of first’s thrown in there. This is one worth remembering.

**********

For once, I wasn’t too focused on the fact that I was in a metal death trap that Dayne could crash any minute. Despite the fact that I have a lot of confidence in his driving abilities, I will always hate cars, but my mind was too busy processing tonight’s events to really worry about anything.

And physically, I was far, far too comfortable to allow anything to ruin this night.

Dayne had ordered for us. He knows all of the littlest things about me. The fact that I hate messy and unhealthy food, but silently crave such fattening things like French fries hadn’t gone unnoticed to him. And the simple turkey burger I had meshed well with it all, even if it wasn’t the type of food I’d pictured I would be eating on my first date when I was a little boy, but it was still the perfect first date to me.

Dayne and I had been cuddled in our corner, completely content the entire time. No minute went by without someone talking, making the other one laugh and smile. The entire night was full of just that: laughter, smiles, and happiness. It was amazing despite its simplicity.

We were in Dayne’s car now, driving home. It’s rather late. Well, extremely late, a bit past midnight. We had lost track of time, sitting in the diner for hours on end, talking about anything and everything as we shared multiple hot fudge sundaes for desert. He didn’t even laugh or scold me when I accidentally knocked one over due to my lack of sight. He assured me everything was okay and cleaned it all up, moving us on the other side of the table, away from the sticky mess, as he ordered us another one. Our conversation never ceased, and he didn’t let the incident get to me.

Now that’s a great example of how to handle a situation in a gentlemanly way.

He didn’t make me feel as if I was an unintelligent male that didn’t deserve to walk the face of this earth if I couldn’t visually appreciate its beauty like most people do. He didn’t make me feel like an incompetent fool because I knocked over a sundae like a two year old because I was unable to find the place I had put down my spoon to take another bite. He made me feel okay, and I can’t even begin to explain how grateful I am.

I inhaled his scent as I cuddled deeper into him, ignoring the fact that I was sprawled across the passenger seat, my head on his shoulder as he drove with one hand on the steering wheel, the other one curled around me as he ran his callused thumb across my knuckles again.

“Isn’t this illegal?” I questioned quietly, allowing my eyes to shift shut since the time is getting to me and I’m simply too tired.

“The cops will never know,” he said around a manic chuckle, imitating one of those weird outlaws in the old western movies, squeezing my hand for dramatic effect.

I have no idea how he can be so awake right now, when I’m so tired.

“You smell like hot sauce,” I tried again, pointing out the condiment that he repeatedly used on his own, personalized burger. I have to hand it to him, I’d never be able to down as much of that stuff as he seems to be able to digest. All the power to him.

“Well, you better like it because you’re gonna smell like me until you shower,” he stated simply, squeezing my body to him as he made a right, jostling my body as little as possible. He sighed as the car slowly rolled to a stop and I could hear the distinct jingle of the keys as he removed them from the ignition.

“We’re home?” I asked surprisingly, reluctantly removing myself from his body heat as I attempted to stretch in the car. It wasn’t an easy task, to be honest, since his car didn’t allow us much space.

“Unfortunately,” he muttered, seeming almost as reluctant to leave me as I was to leave him.

“I had fun tonight,” I admitted as I slowly trailed my hands along the edge of his car, pulling the lever to open the door as I hoisted myself out of it and stretched properly, letting loose a satisfied groan as my joints audibly popped. I could already feel the emptiness setting in since it will be another few days until I see Dayne again.

“Me too,” his voice sounded from a few feet away from me. I could feel his sinfully long fingers wrap around my hips once more as he stood behind me, settling his head into the top of my back as he took a few deep breaths, both resting and inhaling my own unique smell. He slowly started walking forward, pushing me with him, though he was doing all the work, and as per usual, he lifted me up effortlessly if there were any steps leading up to my own front door. However, in my case, there was just one little ledge we needed to get over instead of a set of rickety stairs that almost anyone can trip over.

“You seem a bit tired,” I observed. Maybe he wasn’t as awake as I originally thought he was.

“Yeah, but I can make it home in one piece,” he admitted. The lateness of our date was easily getting to him too.

“You can stay the night if you want,” I offered sheepishly, turning around as I scuffed my shoe against the pavement and threw my arms around his neck, leaning my head into it as I relaxed. It’s so weird, at times like this, to be the taller one of us two. It makes me wish that I could lean down and hear the calming effect of his steady heartbeat lull me to sleep, instead of him being able to do so for me. I can’t get too greedy, though. I’m lucky enough to have a boy as amazing as him to call my own. I don’t need to worry about having a calm heartbeat lulling me to sleep when I have the kindest gentlemen I have ever come across to hug me and soothe me with his kind words and melodic tone. “We have a guest room.”

“Oh, no,” he murmured quickly, leaning up so that his nose was rubbing against my jaw. “I couldn’t do that to you. It’s not my place to intrude yet. Your sister still doesn’t know me.”

“I’ll talk to her eventually,” I decided, “about you two meeting. I think that would be nice.”

“I’m game for anything,” he admitted. “You met my grandparents already, anyway.”

“And I already love them!” I declared happily, smiling in response to the sheepish smile that placed itself on his lips. I could feel it spread across his plump lips against the left part of my jaw, almost delicately, like a flower blooming in early Spring.

“I should let you go,” he finally stated, after a few more minutes of us just standing there.

I shook my head, not wanting to go, even though I know I had to. My sister didn’t set any time restraints for our date, but I’m pretty sure that I may have pushed it tonight. “Don’t let me face her,” I murmured to him dramatically. “She may kill me due to our lateness.”

“You had a curfew?” He gasped. “Oh, God, she must hate me. I would have gotten you back sooner if I knew!”

“Relax,” I soothed, unwrapping my hands from around his waist and rubbing them up and down his arms in an attempt to calm him. “She didn’t set a curfew, but she may be a bit disappointed. She may not let me out tomorrow because she’d want to spend some quality time together.”

Dayne chuckled, shaking his head against my jaw before his lips settled against them once more, but this time, instead of them being like a butterfly’s gentle caress, they were pushed more firmly against my skin.

“Well, in that case…” he trailed off, and let me tell you, the simple tone of his voice sent this surprising shiver down my spine as I bit my lip nervously, my cheeks blooming bright red as he gently kissed my jaw, tracing from ear to ear as his nose tickled my jawline as well.

“Smooth,” I muttered quietly, relieved that I somehow managed to keep myself from gasping as I spoke that single word. My arms wrapped themselves back around his waist as his settled on mine as well, his thumbs pressing themselves into my hipbones almost greedily. He seemed to like those for some reason beyond my knowledge.

A quiet demand broke from his lips as he leaned up towards me, his nose now firmly pressed against my own as his breath fanned across my lips, a warning of what he was about to do, something that I so easily encouraged as my nails gently dug into his hip. And as he pressed his lips to mine, I was overwhelmed with this feeling of familiarity, just as that same jolt of electricity shot down my spine during our first kiss made itself known again.

Time seemed to still as he gently guided my fingers around his neck, my thumbs digging into his hair as he pressed his lips against mine more firmly, opening and closing them in an intricate dance, but there was nothing more.

I pulled away, biting my lip nervously as I felt my eyes roll around in my head, swinging about wildly as if to make sense of what was going on. Dayne simply sighed, burying his head into my neck as he gently nipped the skin, right under my collar. He seemed to like my collarbone just as much as my hips. This boy has some interesting kinks.

“You still taste like hot sauce,” I finally murmured after a few minutes, licking my lips as I tilted my head back slightly on instinct.

“You love it,” he insisted as a joke, tilting my head back down as he abandoned my neck.

I simply shook my head, not knowing exactly what to do or how to respond. I was stuck between wanting to stay with him, but his scent, his actions—they were all overwhelming me. I wasn’t good with these things, they were still so new to me.

Dayne seemed to sense my apprehension, as he pulled away gently, pressing his lips to mine in a chaste kiss that only a young child would share with their crush, though I could feel his tongue dart out and lick his lips hesitantly as he placed an apologetic nip to my jawline once more.

I sighed, exhaling as I pulled away, my fingers tangling in my hair as I evened my breathing once more. “Okay,” I finally murmured, backing up a bit.

“It’s adorable how you get all worked up over the smallest of things,” Dayne commented, a bit of cockiness seeping into his tone. I suppose that’s one of the things I admired about him, though. He can be cocky, but it’s almost like confidence. He doesn’t mean any form of harm to anyone.

“Hush,” I finally murmured, turning towards my door as my hand twisted it experimentally. Kat had left it unlocked for me. She’s probably asleep anyway.

“I’ll see you Monday?” He asked me quietly, grabbing my hand again as he kissed one of my knuckles once more.

Collar bones, hipbones, necks, and knuckles. I have to remember those for the future.

I nodded my head, turning towards my door, pushing it open gently. “Wait, Dayne!” I called out to the dark, knowing he still hadn’t left since his car door hasn’t even opened yet.

“Yes, Joshua?” He asked simply, opening his car door now. I couldn’t help but smile at the way he so easily uses my name.

“There…. There isn’t a mark, right?” I asked hesitantly, almost embarrassingly, as I turned my body sideways, showing my neck to him. Kat would kill me if I were to ruin myself so soon.

His signature chuckle broke through the silent night once more, disrupting the soft chirpings of both the crickets and the birds. “No, Joshua, there’s no mark,” he finally murmured, his tone seeping with adoration.

“Okay, good,” I stated awkwardly, turning back to my door as I entered my house. “Bye, Dayne,” I finally muttered.

“Bye, Joshua.”

I waited there a few moments, my body behind my door as I clung to the edge, waiting to hear the familiar sound of Dayne’s car pulling out of my driveway as he headed home, giving me a reason to feel empty after having such an amazing night with such a sweet, simple kiss thrown in at the end. I’m getting better at all this stuff.

“Dayne?” I finally called out, wondering why I hadn’t even heard his car door close yet.

“Joshua?” His voice called out joking, making me duck my head down and smile as a blush coated my cheeks. He is simply too kind and adorable.

“What are you still doing here?”

“Well,” he answered, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, “I have to wait for you to be safely within your home, don’t I?”

I rolled my eyes, but continued to hide my head as I gently closed my door, waving feebly as I did so. I allowed myself to stay there a few moments, listening to the soft purr of the engine in his car coming to life as he drove away, my entire body suddenly feeling a bit colder as he did so. But that’s okay, because I’ll be seeing him again in a matter of a few days.

And when I see him again, I have a feeling things are gonna be different. After tonight, I’m proud to admit that I think things are looking bright for us. I truly, truly do.