I'm Not Insane

No one can prepare you for an emergency.

No matter how ready you think you may be, it always causes your heart to beat into it's own rhythm, usually faster than you can handle. It doesn't matter where you are, or what you're doing, your mind begins to spin and you can't stop random thoughts from popping into your head. The world around you ceases to exist, and you begin to see things, as you fear the worst. And as you experience these visions and feelings, another thought rolls around, are you insane?

***

That day had started like any other for Jonathan Seward. He woke up early to his beautiful fiance` and kissed her lips softly until she woke.

Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled. "Morning Jonathan."

"Morning babe."

She reached up and ran her fingers through the hair that would no doubt later create his mohawk. "Do you have to work today?"

He nodded solemnly, "we just started working on the new album sweetheart, I'm going to be working like, twelve hours a day for at least a month."

Her smiled disappeared slowly, "I know, but I can hope can't I?"

He grinned and leaned down, pressing his lips to hers, feeling her mouth eagerly part beneath his own, welcoming his tongue. He maneuvered himself slowly over her body, only to remove his lips from hers in a groan to answer his cell which was ringing from the bedside table.

He grabbed it and flipped it open, pressing it to his ear. "It better be an emergency?" he snarled as he rolled off Dylan and laid on the bed at her side.

Johnny watched as she crawled out of bed. She was in a pair of boy shorts and a t-shirt. Items of clothing he probably could have had off in a few moments if it hadn't been for M. Shadows.

"Johnny? Are you coming or not?"

"What?" his attention was drawn back to Matt's voice in his ear. Dylan smiled at him softly before leaving their room.

"I asked if you were coming with us for breakfast before we hit the studio."

"Oh," he probably wasn't going to get laid now anyway. "Alright yeah, I'll see you in a few."

He hung up with Matt and scrambled out of bed to the kitchen where Dylan was debating on breakfast.

"I'm suppose to go out to breakfast with the guys," he padded towards the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water before turning towards her.

"Oh," she reached for a box of cereal. "I guess it'll just be cereal for me then."

He always felt bad for the little things like not being able to eat together. Hell, if his shit wasn't all over the house, you'd never know he actually lived there, because he was rarely physically ever there.

"I'm sorry, Dylan," he moved towards her and hugged her, taking in her scent as he pressed his lips to her temple.

"It's fine," she nuzzled her face into his neck and kissed him softly. "You guys are working I understand."

He released her and brushed his palm against her cheek. "We're still on for drinks tonight though," he assured her, "I suggested to the guys that we all quit early tonight."

"That sounds good," Dylan smiled, "Val and I were debating on what to do if those plans fell through."

"They won't," he promised her before heading back to their bedroom to get dressed.

***

"Alright Johnny, we know, we know," Syn laughed as they guys headed through the parking lot of the studio to their respective vehicles.

"We'll meet you at the bar," Zacky assured him, "we wouldn't miss it."

"Yeah, right," Johnny muttered playfully, clicking the unlock button on his keys then climbing into his car and starting it up. He was ten mintues into his drive when the CD in the player stopped suddenly. He reached out and pressed eject. Black Tide slipped out of the player. Dylan's CD.

"Wait Johnny."

The whisper came from behind him. Like they were sitting in the backseat whispering into his ear. He looked behind him quickly to see nothing before returning his eyes to the road in front of him. There was Dylan, standing in front of the car at the stop line before the intersection.

"Fuck!" he yelled and slammed on the breaks. When the car finally came to a stop he jumped out as she remained standing there, just staring at him.

"Dylan what the hell are you doing?" he yelled at her, "why the fuck are you standing out here in the middle of the road?"

"Just wait there Johnny."

Like a scene from a horror movie, her entire body seemed to flicker before she disappeared. He rubbed his eyes furiously before looking out into the intersection again. The light was red, but out of nowhere a car went flying through the intersection without any reguard to the lights.

"Jesus," he turned, his eyes watching the tail lights fade, before looking back to where Dylan had been standing, "I must be losing it," he muttered before climbing back in his car and heading in the opposite direction that the speeding vehicle had come.

A few blocks away, he was greeted by the flashing lights of an ambulance, fire trucks and police cars. This night was becoming unreal.

Johnny rolled the car to a stop as an officer approached the vehicle. Johnny rolled his window down before he was asked to do so.

"Sir," the cop shone his flashlight into the vehicle, "we're going to have to ask you to take a different route home."

Johnny nodded slightly, "what happened?"

"Hit and run car accident. Looks like they were in the middle of the intersection when the other vehicle hit them dead on."

Things started clicking in Johnny's mind.

"Umm, I was just at that intersection a few blocks away and a truck went blowing through a red light from this direction. It was going too fast, I couldn't tell you if it was dinted or not, but it wasn't just some kids trying to beat the lights ya know. They never slowed down even a little bit."

"Really? Can I take your statement?" Johnny nodded as the cop stepped back, "I'm just gonna ask you to join me out here."

He shut off his car and stepped out of the vehicle. He could hear the crunching of metal and emergency personel chattering and running around, setting up stretchers and readying their gear.

He shivered involuntarily as he leaned against his car, waiting for the officer to return. Whatever had happened, the outcome didn't look good.

***

"Come on baby answer your phone," Johnny was talking to no one as he stopped his car at another intersection. He'd just finished up with the police not too long ago, and now he needed to make sure that Val and Dylan were still meeting everyone at Johnny's in Huntington.

But, she wasn't answering. Which wasn't unusual for her. She had a strict policy of not talking on the phone while she drove.

He flipped his own cell phone shut again and pressed on the acceleractor when the light turned green. He'd only driven a few feet when his cell rang. He reached out blindly into the passenger seat and flipped it open before pressing it to his ear, "babe?"

"Hello, is this...Jonathan Seward?"

Johnny paused for a moment, his heart thumping wildly in his chest. He knew something was wrong. He didn't know how much more of this he could take. "Yeah, who's this?"

"Hi Jonathan, I'm Marilyn, I'm a nurse here at St. Vincent's hospital. We were given your name as an alternate contact for a Dyl -"

"Oh my god," Johnny cut her off, "is she alright? What happened? Tell me."

"Mr. Seward, we would like you to come in so we can - "

Johnny pulled up to a red light at an intersection and debated on driving through it, but he remembered the truck from before. "What happened to her?" he asked again.

"Sir, we'd really just like you - "

"I'm on my fucking way," Johnny snarled, "just tell me what happened."

"She was in a serious car accident," the nurse stated bluntly, "we'll discuss it more when you get here. I'd rather not have you in my Intensive Care Unit as well Mr. Seward."

Johnny's heart dropped into the pit of his stomach. He felt like he was going to get sick. The whole reason for him to live, was dying in the ICU at the hospital.

***

When he finally got to the hospital he threw his car into park near the emergency entrance and took off at a dead run for the front doors. He hurried down the corridor to the nurses station and was about to ask for information when a doctor covered in blood removed his mask and approached him, "are you Jonathan Seward?"

Johnny could barely speak as he stared at the red on the light green fabric, "is that Dylan's?"

"Mr. Seward. Her car was hit dead on..."

It was a hit and run car accident. Looks like they were in the middle of the intersection when the other vehicle hit them dead on.

The doctor shifted his weight and looked him over, "are you going to be alright, sir?"

"I just," Johnny tried to regain his composure but he couldn't get the sight of Dylan standing in the middle of the road out of his mind, "I need to see her."

"I know this is alot to handle right now, but we lost her -"

"You what?" Johnny snapped, "you lost her? Where's your fucking sensitivity man? You make it sound like you lost a fucking puzzle piece -"

"Sir, they lost her for five minutes in the ambulance. But we got her heart beating again and I just finished surgery. You'll be able to see her soon."

Johnny took a deep breath and nearly dropped to his knees but the doctor and a nurse helped him to sit down. He waited in a chair, his head in his hands. Nothing played through his mind but the sight of Dylan standing in that intersection, then disappearing and her voice telling him to wait. Like she'd known that truck was going to fly through the intersection without even tapping on the breaks.

"I must be insane," he muttered before sitting back in his chair.

"Mr. Seward, you can see her now."

He glanced up at an older nurse before pushing himself out of a chair and following her to Dylan's room.

The nurse left him but he hesitated a moment before entering. He hated the thought of what he might see. After a moment he stepped into the room. Dylan was on the bed, but he wouldn't have known it was her if they hadn't told him. She was covered in white bandages and blankets.

"Jesus babe," he pulled the chair up to her bedside and took her scraped, bruised and bloody hand into his own. Closing his eyes, he just wished he could change their entire day.

She slowly opened one eye, the eye that wasn't swollen shut, and tried to squeeze his hand. It wasn't much of a movement, but he'd felt it none the less.

"Dylan?" his eyes popped open and locked on hers.

"You're not insane," she whispered ever so softly knowing full well that he'd know what she was referring to.