Vanilla Sky

Today was no different than yesterday. Lying in the same position as she always had, the beautiful woman induced herself in her slumber, ignorant to the world beyond her closed lids. Time seemed to have no effect on her. Just by being there, without a word spoken, she could still manage to break one’s heart. Her dark brown curls were longer than the last time she had cut them. Her pale skin, which glowed in the faint early light, had a likeness to glass. Fragile and vulnerable, one touch and she could crumble to dust. Occasionally, her eyes would wander in her sleep, as if she could see her visitors scurrying about. But she never opened her eyes. It made one wonder if she were, indeed, not human.

Her doll-like form seemed so broken, so lifeless, she might have been dead for all they knew. But she was still breathing, still living a life preserved by those machines that followed and recorded every beat of her heart. She didn’t know, or maybe she simply didn’t care that someone was waiting, still holding on to the small hope that she would once again open her eyes. Time never waits for anyone, and time passes at an awfully fast pace. While the rest of the world continued to move forward, this woman remained frozen in time.

Vanilla understood all too well. What it was like to wait in vain, to yearn for a voice that seemed so distance now. As she stood by the window overlooking the people bellow, she sighed morosely. It made her sad to see the rest of the world so lively with the constant laughter and chattering, while the woman behind these closed walls had never seen the light all these years she spent bedridden. Quietly, she pulled the curtain sideway, creating a small gap that allowed the room to be exposed with streaks of light across the floor. She needs that, Vanilla thought.

Glancing nervously to the woman on the bed, she half expected her to show a sign of life, but as usual the thought was only a disappointment. She approached the bed and sat down in a chair next to it. In her sleep, the woman had a childish edge to her features. This made Vanilla smile a little. She still recalled the happy days they spent together before it all came crashing down. She was beautiful and young, with a caring husband and lovely daughter. She had been the luckiest woman in this world. No one had seen it coming when the man she loved lost control of the wheel and drove the car into the side of a passing truck. No one had seen his death coming. May be that was the reason why she wouldn’t wake up all these years. Maybe she had known and didn’t want to feel the pain of facing reality. May be she had given up life all together… given up on her daughter.

All these years Vanilla had tortured herself, asking these questions that never seemed to be answered. She needed a sign, to know that she wasn’t abandoned, to know that she wasn’t unworthy. If only she would open her eyes, Vanilla could prove how much she had grown in their absence.

Placing her arms on the edge of the bed, Vanilla rested her head on them and continued watching the sleeping woman. She wasn’t tired; she only wanted to make sure that the woman could hear her voice clearly as she spoke. If only that helped solve the problem.

“Good morning, Mom,” she whispered gently. “I’m here to see you again. Did you miss
me?”

Yes, I did. She wanted to hear that, but all she did was trying to convince herself.

“I miss you. A lot.” Vanilla had to wonder how many times she had recited these words. “I can’t stay for long. I have work today.

“School has been fine. Did you know I get A on every subject again? You’re proud…aren’t you?

“Did you have a nice dream? You look awfully peaceful right now” She laughed a little, but inside, her heart was breaking into bits.

A knock on the door pulled Vanilla out from the depth of despair. Turning her head to the door, Vanilla bowed respectively at the old man, who stood by the already opened door.

“Hello, Vanilla,” he greeted kindly. “Are you here to check on Cassandra?”

“Yeah,” she replied. “I can’t stay for long though.”

“It’s good that you spend time talking to her.” He began doing the routine check up on the sleeping woman, listening to her pulse and reading the graph on the machine. “It will help a lot with…” He caught himself, realizing that he had touched Vanilla’s forbidden subject. He was aware of the amount of time her mother spent hospitalized.

…waking her up. Vanilla finished the thought. Even Dr, Borg himself wasn’t sure of his calculation, Vanilla didn’t know what she should think.

“How’s her health?” Vanilla asked, making an effort to lighten the mood.

The robust man knitted his eyebrows in concentration. In the sunlight, his bald head seemed to glow like a golden egg. It would have been a funny sight if it weren’t for the eerie silent and the bleeping of the machine to prove that the space was inhabited.

“She is good for now.” He smiled. “But I need to take a few more tests.”

Vanilla glanced at the clock, tickling on the wall. “Well, I need to go to work now. Call me if anything comes up.”

“I’ll do that,” Dr. Borg said.

Picking up her bag, Vanilla slung the strap over her shoulder. With one last look at her mother, she reluctantly walked out, closing the door behind her. Vanilla feet moved forward, while her head hung, deep in thought. Even without looking, she could easily find her way through the hospital as if it were her own home. Obviously, the fact wasn’t quite a good one. She still had the hospital fees to worry about. This month had been slow for her, with little work and the decline of business. There was another option…but she didn’t want to use it.

This was her responsibility alone. She had been carrying the burden for as long as she could remember. She could do this on her own. Forcing on a smile, Vanilla gripped the strap of her bag. Her gaze fixated on an invisible target as she headed for the elevator.

Pressing the button with an arrow pointing downward, Vanilla waited for the elevator to arrive. It was then that she realized she had left her scarf in her mother’s room. Muttering a curse, she strode back in the opposite direction. Turning at a corner, Vanilla stopped in her path when two voices echoed down the hall.

“That’s her,” an elderly woman in nurses’ outfit pointed to the room behind the closed door. With a jolt, Vanilla realized that they were standing outside of her mother’s room.

“You mean the woman who has been sleeping for four years?” the younger woman asked.

“Six years,” the other one corrected.

The younger nurse, who Vanilla assumed was new, touched her cheek and gazed sympathetically into the room. “What happened to her?”

Sighing, the older nurse began retelling the tale which she had told for so many times. It never seemed to completely die down: the tragic tale of Cassandra Inett.

“Her family was on a vacation. The husband was driving when he lost control.” She sighed for a dramatic effect, not because she truly understood. “He died. She fell into a coma. And her daughter…what a poor girl.”

“What about her daughter?” the younger woman urged.

“Her daughter has been working for as long as her mother has been here.” She shook her head. “The girl had to grow up even though she is only…” She trailed off, her eyes widened as she saw Vanilla. She made a gesture to the younger woman, indicating that it was time to leave. At first, the young nurse had a curious look on her face. As they passed her, their eyes avoided hers, hiding their shame. They knew they were guilty for gossiping about a woman’s misfortune. It didn’t help that the daughter had witnessed the whole scene.

Minutes after they were gone, Vanilla was still standing there with her fists clenched. Over the years, she had gotten used to the whispering and doubtful glances they had given her. What she didn’t want was their sympathy. It was unnecessary. She hated the pity in their eyes when they spoke hollow words of apology. She didn’t need anyone to feel sorry for her. Why would they when Cassandra Inett wasn’t any of their business. How could anyone talk about this as if it were nothing?

To Vanilla, Cassandra was everything.

Humans are cruel. They use others’ misfortunes as a form of entertainment. They talk about it with no intention of hurting others, which makes it all the worse.

Vanilla didn’t blame them though. Those who don’t know better bear no faults. She was only slightly annoyed…and may be a little sad, but she would never admit it, not when she had her hands full with other problems. Shaking her head and clearing her thought, Vanilla decided to forget about her scarf. Spinning around, she headed for the elevator without another glance back.