Too Much Too Young

Cold night air filled the dark streets of Devon as the hour was getting later and later. It was far past bed time for all the little kids and not yet time for all the older ones to head back home. Somewhere in between these two time zones, when the streets are not sleep but neither awake, two young men walked side by side.

The neighborhood was silent and peaceful – the long parallel two lines of houses looked like the same image, repeated numerous times. The lights seemed to be off in most rooms of most houses, and not a single car was driving the road. The only thing that had broken the night silence was when two young men entered the empty street.

The two small frames were walking slowly and unsteadily, together, yet on a different pace. The slightly taller of the two seemed to be leaning on the other person, yet, to be walking slightly faster. The shorter, and physically smaller, person was somehow walking more balanced, but the weight of the other one seemed to be slowing him down.

“Hey, Hey,” the younger of the two man shouted loudly, not caring that the world around him was peacefully quiet. His bright blue eyes were looking everywhere, scanning his surrounding but not quite receiving information, the only reason he kept them open was to make sure he and his friend wouldn’t suddenly fall. Wind was blowing gently, messing with the guy’s baggy clothes and spiked red hair.

“Sleep now in the fire,” the other guy responded just as loudly, singing along with his friend. His unnatural brown hair was shuffling in the air, losing one shape and forming another. The young man’s gray eyes looked as happy as ever, only a little distanced at that late hour, and the alcohol in his blood was to blame for that. On his face was spread a big bright smile that has been there for quite a while – he was cheerful, as he usually is.

Dominic and Matthew have been walking for quite a while already, slowly but safely, trying to make their way to some hotel nearby. They have been singing as loud as their lungs allowed them through the entire way, always out of rhythm. It was the only way to keep Dominic from getting bored or lost, and it entertained Matthew as well.

“Hey, hey,” the two friends continued their singing, repeating the very same part over and over again. None of them could quite recall the rest of the song – though they both admire the band, they were simply too drunk to remember. But it didn’t matter to them, not at that moment – they were both enjoying the repeating singing, they weren’t even bothered with lyrics and rhythm.

As they walked across the quiet streets, Matthew managed to support Dominic and keep him from falling. None of them was sober, but Dominic has definitely had more to drink and Matthew was capable of walking quite balanced.

“Matt, stop!” Dominic shouted suddenly, stopping his quick pace and detaching himself from his younger friend.

Seconds later, Matthew has stopped walking as well. Turning around, the red haired guy looked over to his drunker friend, wondering exactly what was going on. Was he going to puke again, or is he just making a joke? Matthew was sure hoping for that second option to be the right one – it was already enough and too much for him to see his friend vomiting once that night, he did not want a second time to come.

“What is it?” Matthew asked, his voice bored and uninterested. Suddenly, he had felt very tired, and wanted to get to a bed already. But that feeling didn’t last long, not longer than a minute.

“I’m so happy!” Dominic exclaimed joyfully, causing his friend to roll his eyes.

“That…is great. Now keep on walking,” Matthew said, shaking his head slightly. He wasn’t too pleased with his friend’s silliness at that moment. Sometimes it really amuses him, but at that moment, for some reason, he felt annoyed.

The red haired musician took a step forward, willing to continue their endless journal to some hotel. Less than a second later, he realized his friend was still pinned to his spot, which caused him to stay where he was instead of carry on.

“Don’t you want to know why?” Dominic asked, trying to sound offended. That didn’t work too well, though, as he burst into hysteric laughter a second later.

Matthew sighed annoyed. “Why are you so happy, Dom?” His voice wasn’t as cheerful and excited as it always is, and his speaking was slower than ever. The alcohol in his blood made him tired, and he just wanted to crawl into bed. But Dominic didn’t notice any of that – he was too drunk and unfocused for that.

Dominic smiled widely, satisfied with himself. “‘Cause today I found my friends – they’re in my head!” The young drummer sang loudly, out of tune and rhythm. Singing loudly, Dominic began walking again, faster than he should. Soon enough, he was followed by his friend.

Before Matthew caught up with Dominic, the drunken drummer met with the floor once again.

Matthew hurried over to his younger friend, who was laying on the floor laughing. “Come on, now, don’t walk on your own,” the red haired person mumbled quietly as he kneed down to Dominic. Grabbing the gray eyed guy by his arms, Matthew helped him to be back up on his feet.

He really hated it at that moment, being the responsible one. It just seems that it would be so much easier for him if it was the other way around; if Dominic was the sober – or rather, less drunk – one and he could be the drunk, silly one.

Matthew pulled Dominic’s arm over his shoulders and started walking again, supporting his friend. He didn’t like it when he needed to support Dominic, it seemed wrong to him – Dominic was bigger than Matthew was, and in his head, it only made sense that things should be the other way around.

But he would admit that the situation was indeed amusing, and that maybe watching his best friend drunk and silly wasn’t such an annoying thing. In fact, as soon as they started walking again, Matthew regained his cheerful, drunken attitude again and could enjoy the walk.

“I like it, I’m not gonna crack!” Dominic sang loudly, skipping most of the song without even noticing.

Within seconds, the red haired musician found himself joining Dominic’s singing.

They sang the same part over and over again without noticing, singing louder and faster while doing so. Both of them were singing out of tune to the wrong melody, but none of cared enough to even realize. Every now and then one of them would crack up and laugh hysterically, soon to be followed by the other. And as the pair of friends laughed to themselves, they didn’t notice the world around them. Due to the late hour there wasn’t much happening, but a car was driving by every once in a while, a person or two were walking along at times and teenagers were hanging out nearby.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Matthew continued on singing, his voice horribly high; but for once that night, his singing had some logical rhythm in it. Instead of singing along with his friend, Dominic started banging his head to the rhythm. Soon enough, the grayed out musician realized headbanging wasn’t such a clever idea, and switched into dancing around.

“Check this out, Matt,” Dominic shouted cheerfully, distancing himself from his younger friend, just enough so he could dance freely.

Matthew watched his friend in amusement, trying not to burst into a complete laughter while singing. He watched as Dominic span around, waved with his arms weirdly, moved his head to the wrong rhythm, laughed slightly, smiled widely, stumbled down, fell to the ground and continued dancing while being down.

The red haired musician shook his head slightly at his friend, amused to nearly tears by what he had just witnessed.

“That is how you do it,” Matthew announced, and started dancing himself.

As the young, skinny musician started moving around, Dominic laughed hysterically on the pavement, not even looking at his friend. He laughed until he cried and his stomach started aching, but he didn’t notice it, and he was too amused to stop.

Matthew was too focused on his dancing to notice his distracted friend. He danced around weirdly, moving his arms and legs in odd ways. Every mentally sane person who would have seen him would assume there was something wrong with him; either that something in his brain was not right or that he was being electrocuted.

Turning around, Matthew continued in his weird style dancing, walking jumpingly backwards while moving his hands in the air. To him it all seemed normal and cool; it was simply the way he dance.

It was all fun and nice, until the red haired guy bumped into a passing by stranger.

“Oh I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Matthew apologized quickly, turning around to make sure he didn’t damage anything or harmed anybody. He tried to fight the urge to crack up and laugh, which left a silly, wide grin on his face.

As soon as Matthew’s gaze focused on the person standing in front of him his urge to laugh had disappeared and his silly grin turned into a genuine, amazed smile and his drunken, silly state slowly fading away.

The bright blue eyes looked up and down, scanning the woman standing in front of him. She was gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous. The woman was just about his height, and in fact they were in the same age as well, but she somehow looked a bit older or maybe just tired. The woman’s red lips were formed into a slight, polite smile; her beautiful, green eyes were watching the stranger in front of her, as if trying to remember something from her past; her pure, blonde hair was wrapped up in a tight ponytail at the back of her head.

The woman was carrying a small child – a young girl, right about five years old, who was sleeping peacefully on her mother’s arms. The kid’s dirty blonde hair look like an adorable mess, making it clear that she have been asleep for quite a while already.

“Wow,” Matthew mumbled to himself, taking in the beautiful picture in front of him. “I mean…I’m really sorry, I was just…are you alright? Are you hurt? I’m so sorry,” he apologized again. It wasn’t that he had actually felt bad, or thought anybody was harmed, he had just hoped to have a little talk with the woman before she disappears forever.

These were one of the things he hated about life – seeing people for just a few seconds before your ways separate for eternity. Of course, this is something that happens every day for everybody, especially for Matthew, with the job he has. And honestly, usually it doesn’t even matter. But there are always people that you remember, people you would never know and never be able to find. He hated these people. But then again, that is one of the wonders of life, isn’t it? Not being able to know and meet everybody. But Matthew wanted to meet everybody. He wanted to get to know every single person in the world, just for the sake of finding someone interesting enough – just for the sake of having variety.

“It’s okay,” the woman smiled, showing perfect teeth and making Matthew smile with her. It was then when he noticed how familiar she looked, but he didn’t bother to linger on it, it didn’t matter and he was pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to recognize anyone at that moment. He hoped that if it was anything important, he would remember after a while.

“It was probably my fault anyway,” she added.

Her smile looked so honest, so beautiful and so happy. But it wasn’t, it was a fake smile. It was an uncomfortable smile. Something about the drunk, red haired guy didn’t seem right to her, but she couldn’t quite figure out what it was. Something about his face reminded her of someone she used to know, but she couldn’t quite recall, not right away, not at that late hour.

“Is that your kid?” Matthew asked, his blue eyes glowed to the green ones in front of him, not even glancing to the sides. The woman simply nodded, a small unconscious smile bracing her lips and lighting her face.

“She’s beautiful. What’s her name?” As Matthew spoke, his eyes remained locked with hers, as if unable to let go. But of course he could let go, he was just pretending, he knew women liked it.

“Emily,” the blonde woman answered quietly, as if she was shy. But she wasn’t, she just really didn’t want to be there. It felt wrong.

“Such beautiful name,” Matthew said, smiling brightly.

“You know, you look very familiar. Have we met before?” The raid haired man spoke again, when realizing the girl in front of him wasn’t going to say anything.

And then, right there, she recognized him. The bright blue eyes, the wonky tooth, the cheerful smile, the lisp, the attitude – she knew she was standing in front of Matthew Bellamy.

“I don’t think so, but I really gotta go now, it’s late and I don’t want Emily to wake up so if you excuse me,” the woman spoke quickly, her legs moving her forward before he mouth even finished talking.

“Hey, wait!” Matthew shouted quickly following her. It was then when he realized he hadn’t even asked her name, and he wish he had, so he could have called after her.

A few seconds later the young musician had reached the stranger and grabbed her shoulder, the one without a kid’s head on it.

“Please wait,” he begged as the woman stopped. She didn’t want to stay there, she didn’t want to turn around and most of all she didn’t want to recognize him.

“I really need to go home,” the woman explained, hoping he would take his hand off her shoulder. But he didn’t. Instead, Matthew went and stood in front of her, blocking her way.

“Just tell me your name, please. You look so familiar, it would drive me mad if I wouldn’t know where from,” the blue eyed guy begged again. Why was it suddenly so important, he did not know; but it felt important, it felt as if his life depended on it.

“I really don’t know who you are,” she lied, “And I really need to get home so,” she added, sounding in hurry. Truth was, she was simply afraid to be recognized. She didn’t need that right now in her life, she didn’t need it at all, ever.

“Are you sure we’ve never met?” Matthew asked in disappointed, ready to give up. There was nothing to give up on, just a stranger on the street, just another someone he would never meet. Maybe that is what she was. Maybe he had ran into her once before. Maybe she was just familiar, but not known.

The woman nodded slightly, he green eyes looking anywhere but at the man in front of her. With a sigh, Matthew stepped away and let her go, watching her as she slowly walks away. And then it hit him. As he watched her back getting smaller, her hair moving along with her cheerfully, he knew who that was. And that made him run back to her, as fast as he could.

“Hey, wait a second, hey,” he shouted after her, but she only seemed to be walking faster and faster. “Nicole!” Matthew called out, checking her reaction so see if it was her. For a second, the girl froze, and then, walked ever faster than before.

That was his sign, he was right. And so he ran, he ran as fast as his tiny legs would carry him, as if it was all that ever mattered.

“Nicole,” he said quietly, out of breathe, as he finally reached her and stopped her. “Is that you?” Matthew looked into her eyes, and they were slightly wet. She didn’t say anything. She knew she couldn’t run away, and there was absolutely nothing she had to say to him. Matthew knew the answer by her silence, and said nothing either, knowing there was nothing he could possibly say to her.

There, in front of his eyes, was standing Nicole Hart, his high school sweetheart, the one regret he had ever had in his life, his darkest secret; the one thing he never told anybody.

“Mommy?” A soft, angelic voice broke the silence between the two people. Both adults looked over to the small child who had just woken up.

“Go back to sleep, honey,” the blonde woman, Nicole, whispered softly, placing a loving hand on her kid’s head, trying to help her fall back to sleep. She had hoped her voice was fine, she had hoped no emotions were shown in it. She wished it was all over with already, she wanted to be at home away from there, away from the cold street, away from the same old buildings – away from Matthew Bellamy.

The small child, Emily, looked around herself, like kids do when they wake up; she looked at the street surrounding her, she looked at her mother and at the stranger standing in front of them. And then, just like kids do, she fell back asleep as if nothing had happened.

As soon as he had seen Emily’s eyes, Matthew’s throat went dry and he started breathing heavily. Something in his brain linked, something had crossed his mind.

“Is that…? Emi…is she…” He coughed as he tried to speak, and he got stuck after every second word, and he ended up mumbling non-sense. “Is she…” He tried again, taking a deep breath before finished his sentence. “Mine?”

Nicole didn’t answer. Matthew didn’t ask any further, he knew the answer by the silence. He stood there, frozen in his spot. A few seconds later, Nicole walked away. He didn’t stop her. He didn’t run after her. He didn’t bother.

For a few minutes, Matthew stood frozen in his spot, trying to let everything that had just happened sink. The picture of the girl’s bright blue eyes was burned in his mind. He knew these eyes, he looked into them every single day on the mirror – only his were never as pure, as innocent.

And then, the realization that should have come to him about six years ago had finally arrived – he was a father. There was a kid out there in the world that he was in charge of. He had a family.

Only that he didn’t and wasn’t. He had abandoned a pregnant woman years ago and has never bothered himself too much with that. And only then, only at that moment, he had finally realized what a mistake he had made.

Matthew wasn’t sure what he was going to do with that piece of information, nor did he know if he could ever make up for his mistake, but he surely hoped that he would try to do something. He just hoped he wouldn’t let it be forgotten again, not this time.

Looking around him, the young, red haired boy realized he still needed to get to a hotel, and to take his drunken friend with him. He really just wanted to go to bed already and fall into a blissful sleep. But he knew he was far from it, even when he would reach the hotel, it would take hell for him to fall asleep.

“Fuck,” he mumbled around as he realized that Dominic was nowhere to be found. That was going to be a long night, and he knew it. And he only had himself to blame.