A Melody from the Heart

She had already received a taste of what my world was like, but I had yet to see what hers was like. Whenever I spent time with her, it was usually just the two of us, and she hadn’t introduced me to anyone she knew yet. That day, everything changed, though. I was thrown right into her life and given a crystal clear picture of what she had gone through as a child. Somewhere deep down, I had thought she was over exaggerating about what her parents and that life was like, but that day I found out what she had been telling me was dead on.

It was hard to say what my reaction was back then. When I saw what Audrey had been through, it made me grateful to have parents like mine, but it also made me feel a heartbreaking sympathy for her. It was that feeling that let me know just how much I was really starting to fall for this girl…

“I have to give Zacky a lot of credit,” Audrey said out of the side of her mouth as she scanned the room with her eyes. “He did a pretty good job dressing you up.”

“I had some say in what I was going to wear, too,” Matt replied. He watched Audrey curiously. Ever since they had stepped into her parents’ house, she had become tense. Her jaw looked like it was clenched and the muscles in her neck and back looked like they were strained.

Matt placed an arm around her shoulders and gave her a supportive squeeze. His touch seemed to bring her back to reality, and she looked at him with an uneasy look in her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she said with a sigh. Audrey looked down at her hands. “It’s always rough coming back here after being away for so long. I know as soon as they see me, they’re going to come over here and tell me everything that I should be working on, and about everything that has changed with me since the last time I saw them.”

“Is that why we’re hiding in this corner?” Matt asked. They were definitely separated from the majority of the room, but he didn’t really mind. He didn’t really want to talk to anyone, anyway. He really didn’t think he would be able to hold a conversation with anyone for very long. Matt was more concerned with the fact that Audrey was really this uncomfortable being in what used to be her house. She was always so composed and together that this side of her was a little bit unsettling, and it broke his heart just a little bit.

“Maybe,” she admitted. “I’m just trying to delay the lecture that is inevitable. They will find at least five things wrong with me, and I’m really not in the mood to deal with criticism today. They’ll tell me I should have worn a black dress, and if I was wearing a black dress, they would probably tell me I should wear the color I’m wearing now.”

“Listen, you need to take a deep breath. What happened to the Audrey that doesn’t take shit from anybody?” Matt asked as he ran a hand over her cheek. “I think you look amazing, and that’s all that matters. So they’ll criticize you for a few minutes, but then it will be over with and we can get out of here.”

Audrey gave him a smile in gratitude. His words calmed her racing heart just a little bit, and it was a new feeling for her to have someone helping her through one of the things she hated most in life. Lately, Matt always made her heart turn to mush, which was not like Audrey at all. She always made sure she had her wall in place, but he was making it so hard, especially when he really did look so amazing in his suit. He was wearing all black with a golden tie, and the look did suit him well. You couldn’t outright tell he was in a band at first glance, but you could tell there was something about him that was different. Maybe it was just because he carried himself with an easy confidence he didn’t even know he possessed.

“You’re right,” Audrey replied, closing her eyes for a moment so she could gather her composure. “I’m sorry, I just hate being here. I know you don’t really understand why, but I can’t wait until this day is over with.”

“I will say that the environment here is definitely more uptight than I’m used to,” Matt said with a smile. “But I think if you just keep up that wall that you always have, your parents will need a bulldozer if they want to get through it. I think you’ll be fine, no matter what insults they throw at you.”

“Thanks,” Audrey said with just a touch of sarcasm. She was just about to throw a well thought out insult at him, but her face turned white instead as she saw her parents quickly making their way through the crowd and straight towards them. “They’re coming!”

“What?” Matt whispered, following in suit of her suddenly lowered voice.

“I said they’re coming! My parents are walking straight towards us at this very moment,” she said frantically. “Stand up tall and let me do all the talking. You would think they would have good manners, but they don’t. They’ll question you and they’ll criticize you, and you won’t know they are until the conversation is already over. They’re going to tear you apart!”

He watched as Audrey worked herself up more and more the closer her parents came. She was looking side to side, almost as if she was trying to plan an escape route. “I can handle myself,” Matt replied reassuringly. “I promise I won’t take anything they say personally.”

Audrey was wringing her hands nervously, wishing she was anywhere but here. She even would have taken a trip to the dentist for a root canal over this. You may have thought she was being over dramatic, but she was dead serious.

This was another vulnerable side of Audrey Matt had never seen. It was a little bit unsettling to him to see her this distraught, but just as her parents closed in on the final distance separating them, Audrey’s usual look of cool indifference seemed to make its way back to her face. He thought it was pretty remarkable how she could mask her true emotions so well, and he wondered if she even consciously thought about it anymore.

“Hello, Audrey,” her mother greeted smoothly. She kissed Audrey on both of her cheeks, but the lack of emotion and coolness behind the action did not go unnoticed for Matt. He watched as Audrey barely even moved when her mother touched her. “We were wondering if you were even going to show up today since it’s been so long since we last saw you.”

Audrey visibly clenched her jaw even tighter and Matt wondered if she was going to break all of her teeth. He could imagine it was uncomfortable for Audrey to be around all of his friends. He knew it was hard for anyone to fit in with them since they all were so close, and it was easy to feel like an outsider if you were new to them. But, in this situation, Matt felt like the outsider. He felt so uncomfortable standing in the tension filled space that was separating Audrey and her parents that he felt like crawling out of his skin.

“Well, I have been busy,” Audrey replied calmly and levelly. There was a whole world of hurt hidden behind the way she spoke to her parents, and Matt could hear it laced it every word she spoke to her mother. “I’ve been working hard because I seem to be so expensive to take care of, as you pointed out to me last time I talked to you.”

Audrey’s mother was too busy giving her daughter an icy glare to notice Matt, who was standing behind her, but her father had noticed him long before they came over to talk to Audrey. Matt had been watching the scene unfolding between the two women, but the burn of her father’s eyes quickly tore his attention away from their conversation. Audrey’s father was giving him a careful and slow evaluation, and Matt couldn’t help but think that he was scrutinizing everything from the gages in his ears to the fact that his new shoes just might not have been shiny enough. There was no questioning the fact that Audrey’s parents were intimidating, even more so than Audrey herself.

“And who is this?” her father asked, bringing his gaze back up to Matt’s gages once again before looking over at his daughter. All the while, Matt was panicking that he might have tattoos sticking out or something out of place, which was something he never thought of. It was the first time in a long time someone had made him question if his appearance was acceptable or not. “I wasn’t told you would be bringing a guest, Audrey.”

He said the word guest like he was talking about unwanted pests in his home. Matt had prided himself in having an ‘I-don’t-give-a-shit’ attitude since he was in high school, but these people were quickly changing that for him.

“The last time I checked, this house was big enough for one extra person,” Audrey said. She had been nervous before, but Matt gave her a lot of credit for standing up to them. Honestly, he didn’t know if he would be able to stand up to her parents. “But, since you asked, this is Matt, my guest.”

She placed the same emphasis on guest, but she did it to mock her father. As Matt looked down for a second, he saw that Audrey’s hand was shaking. He didn’t know if it was out of anger or nerves, but he inconspicuously gave her hand a compassionate squeeze.

“So, what do you do for a living?” her father asked. Matt looked around for a few seconds before he realized the question was actually being directed towards himself. He felt a little bit stupid for pausing so long, but then he also had the problem of thinking of the right thing to say. “I, uh-“

“He’s in a band,” Audrey cut in, her voice a little stronger. She gave Matt’s hand a reassuring squeeze before letting go. She was telling him she was going to stick up for him.

“Do you mean he’s in an orchestra you performed with?” her mother asked. “You know that dating in the work place is never a good idea. It always brings unwanted gossip.”

Audrey thought for a moment, and Matt could tell she was contemplating which way she should take this. Confirming her mother’s guess would clearly be the easy way out.

“No, by band I mean rock band, you know tattoos, piercings, loud music,” Audrey said, almost like she was talking about the weather. The look on her parents’ face made Matt want to burst out into laughter, but he kept a straight face. Instead, he focused on the fact that Audrey had just stuck up for him in front of her parents, who had been making her nervous for days now. He knew she wanted to keep his profession hidden from them, but it meant so much to Matt that she had just told them straight out, not caring what they thought about him. He thought her father’s head looked like it was about to pop, and her mother had her lips pressed tightly together in disapproval.

Audrey’s father ran his eyes over Matt once more, this time blatant disapproval unmistakably in his gaze. Matt was pretty sure he was trying to figure out how many tattoos and piercings Matt might currently hiding at the moment, and Matt also wouldn’t doubt if her father was assuming he was high at that very moment.

“Audrey can we talk to you in your father’s study?” her mother asked in a strained voice.

“Yes, because you wouldn’t want to cause a scene in front of all of these people, now would you?” she replied. “Matt, you’ll be fine without me for a few moments, right? There’s an open bar right over there, so go nuts.”

As they all walked away, Matt noticed her father’s face was now a nice shade of purple at her last comment. He was sure there was about to be a battle between Audrey and her parents, but he wasn’t worried. Despite her fear towards them, Audrey could hold her own against them, even if she was outnumbered or if she didn’t think she could. He knew he was going to get her out of here as soon as she was done talking to them.

Matt watched them until they disappeared behind a door which her father definitely closed a little louder than necessary. He walked around in circles a few times while she was gone, carefully avoiding getting into a conversation with someone. He got tired of that after just a few minutes, though, and then curiosity got the best of him.

He walked over to the door all of them had disappeared behind. He was surprised to find that they were talking at a loud enough volume where he didn’t have to get too close to eavesdrop. Matt didn’t like how Audrey’s parents didn’t think she was good enough when she clearly was very different from the millions of girls that were out there. He didn’t hear them say it out loud to her before, but he didn’t have to. He was sure she had heard it hundreds of times when she was younger. There were only so many times you could take that from someone, let alone if it was coming from your parents.

“What are you thinking, bringing him here, Audrey?” he could hear her mother hiss. “What if everyone saw who he truly was, what would they say?”

“That’s what I knew you would worry about,” Audrey replied with venom in her voice. Matt never knew that her hatred for them ran this deep. “I knew you would think everyone would judge you if your daughter didn’t bring home the model boyfriend because they would think that something’s wrong with me. I didn’t want to bring him because I knew you would do this to him, and he doesn’t deserve that.”

“He’s not good enough for you,” her father said, his voice rising with every word. “Do you know how easy it would be for you to find someone who would give you a comfortable life with all of the people we know?”

“No, you know what? I’m not good enough for him,” Audrey said. Matt could tell her voice was shaky, and he wished he could be in that room to give her support. “He’s someone who cares about me for me, not for how much money my family has, or how good of a reputation they have. I could be living in a cardboard box and he couldn’t care less. If anyone of those assholes knew I was less than perfect, they would kick me to the curb without a second thought.”

“Watch your mouth,” her mother said with a warning tone.

“I’ve watched everything I ever said or did for twenty two years, and now it’s time that I do what I want to do, not what everyone else wants me to do,” Audrey yelled. He knew she wanted to give up, but he was proud that she was staying strong. “He makes me feel something I’ve never felt before, and if you can’t accept that, then it doesn’t matter.”

“We’re your parents, of course it matters what we think,” her father yelled right back. “We brought you into this world, without us, you wouldn’t have anything you do right now, not even that career you love so much.”

Matt knew that would be a huge blow to Audrey, the way they seemed to think her musical talent was all because of them. He knew they were wrong, though. He knew that she had been blessed with her gift, and it was what made up the biggest part of her soul, the soul he loved so much. He listened on as silence came over the room. He almost thought she didn’t know what to say to that, but he was wrong.

“It doesn’t matter what you think,” she answered, slowly, dangerously. Her voice was so low that Matt almost couldn’t make out the words. “I refuse to become the emotionless shell of a person that both of you have become. You’ve tried to make me a carbon copy of each of you for all of my life, but I’ll be damned if that happens. I’d rather die!”

And with that, Matt’s jaw dropped open as the unmistakable sound of a slap echoed through the silence. He knew Audrey’s father had slapped her, and it took everything in his power not to storm into that room and knock her father out.

“Well, I’d say that gives me more than a good enough reason to leave,” Matt heard Audrey say quietly right before she came storming through the door he had just been watching.

She was walking so fast that Matt almost had to jog to keep up with her. He knew she saw him upon coming out of the room.

“We’re leaving,” Audrey said bluntly as she made her way straight for the door. As he watched her back as she weaved through people, he wondered if she was crying. He thought he could hear the faint sound of tears in her voice, but he couldn’t be sure. It sounded like her father had slapped her pretty hard though, and he knew it had to have upset her at least a little bit. Matt knew it made him furious.

It wasn’t until they reached the sidewalk outside that Audrey stopped walking. She had somehow grabbed her coat without even breaking her stride, and now she was shivering in the cold city air as she struggled to get it on. She may also have been shaking from all of the emotions that were coursing through her veins at that moment.

“Are you okay?” he asked quietly as he took her coat from her hands and draped it across her shoulders. There was a faint red mark forming on her cheek where she had been slapped, but there were no signs of tears in her eyes. Instead, Matt noticed her jaw was clenched just as tightly as it had been before she had gone into her father’s study.

“I’m fine,” Audrey replied, avoiding his gaze. Everything she had told her parents had touched him in a way no one had ever touched him before. Lately, he had a cynical outlook on relationships and love, but he felt like Audrey was showing him people really could care for each other in the deepest way possible without any ulterior motives.

“You can’t believe what they think about you is true,” he said. Matt knew she had tried so hard as a child and that all of those efforts had been brushed aside. “You’re better than they could ever be.”

She finally allowed her gaze to lock with his, and he saw there still were no tears there, but there was a sadness that ran all the way down to the deepest depths of her heart. He wished he could bear some of that pain for her, that he could take it away and show her what it felt like to be cared for and accepted.

Matt used to think her inability to let anyone in was a way to test people to see if they were worth her time, but now he could see it was the only way she knew how to guard her soul from being cut any deeper than it already was.

He didn’t know what else to do, so he took a step forward to hold her in a gentle embrace, hoping it could somehow allow her to let some of that pain go. It was a few minutes before Matt felt Audrey’s hands make their way slowly up his back, accepting his humble offer of comfort. She gently took the fabric of his coat in her balled up hands, holding on for dear life.

They stayed that way for a long time as the city moved around them. People walked past them on the sidewalk, but they stayed the same.

Audrey felt safe. She felt like she was wanted and needed, and that this was exactly where she was supposed to be.

After what seemed like an eternity, Matt heard Audrey speak quietly into his chest, her voice muffled.

“Thank you.”

“For what?” He asked as Audrey pulled away just enough so she could look at him.

“For coming here with me,” she replied, and after thinking for a minute, she added, “And for everything.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” he answered with a small smile, bringing his lips down to hers to give her a soft, lingering kiss. “I’ll always be here for you.”

She returned his smile, even though her heart wasn’t fully in it, given the events of the day. Audrey dropped her hand down to his and they laced fingers as they began to walk slowly down the sidewalk.

“Let’s get as far away from here as possible,” she said quietly.

“I thought you always walk at a breakneck speed through the city?” He asked as he noticed he could actually keep up with her pace.

“I do, but sometimes you have to walk slow so you can remember everything,” Audrey replied, looking up towards the darkening sky. A few stars were just beginning to be visible.

She squeezed his hand again, for the second time that day, letting him know that she wasn’t planning on letting him go anytime soon.