Hajime no Insho
sho gojuyon.
“There’s really not a word to describe it when we’re performing. When we walk onto the stage, all I feel is a knot in my chest, and when the first song begins, it just becomes a sort of…bubble…bursting out of us, encircling the crowd.” He smiled, pausing, and allowed himself to remember, just for a moment, what the final at the Budokan had felt like. “The stage becomes a safe place when we’re up there. There’s trust between us and the fans- no one’s going to get hurt during that live, and we all know it.”
“So it becomes a utopia of sorts?”
He nodded, his smile widening. “Something like that. As if the only bad things that could happen are a guitar string breaking or the power cutting out, leaving only Kai-kun with his drums.” His smile softened as he paused to sip from the water provided, and then he looked up at the interviewer once more. “It really is a whole different world.”
“And this world is something you want to continue to experience?”
He nodded again, smile becoming warmer, and there was a sparkle in his eyes as he held the glass of water in his hand, his gaze drifting off. “As long as we can make music, yeah. This feeling is something I don’t want to forget.”
“And what of your personal life, Ruki-san? I know you never really speak of it, but has anything interesting happened? Do you currently have a girlfriend?”
He smiled, laughing softly, shaking his head. “No, he said, and his voice was soft, as though every other question about his personal life had never bothered him before. “No girlfriend. I’ve been focusing on the band- there’s no time for a thing like that.” He let out another soft laugh, and as he sipped at his water, he wondered how the band’s fans would react if it were revealed that he had a boyfriend instead. He smiled as the interviewer took her notes, and he smiled as she glanced up, ready with another question.
“Five years ago,” she said, “your band barely had a fanbase, and you were struggling to make ends meet with your music. How did you get from that to where you are now?”
“We struggled,” he said, and he gave a small, sad smile. “Sadly, we struggled a lot. But as we began to reach farther and farther from Tokyo, more people began to know us and come to our live shows. And it just…built from there, I suppose.” He paused, taking a moment to watch the water in his glass, and then his smile returned once again. “It was hard, but if it were to get us to where we are right now, I’m sure that we would be able to do it again in a heartbeat.”
“That’s very confident.”
“Knowing that these are the lives we’re going to have? That this is the music we’ll get to make? That this is the kind of freedom we’ll have? That would be enough to push on any band that’s struggling for success.”
“And for these bands that are struggling, Ruki-san. Would you be able to offer them any words of advice?”
He smiled, and he glanced up as he saw that Akira had arrived, waiting patiently to take him home, and his smile became wider, and he watched Akira as the interviewer sat, watching him think, watching him nod and gaze off and away from her once again. “Don’t give up,” he said, and he saw Akira smile at him, and then he returned his attention to the interviewer. “That’s my advice: don’t give up, and you will one day have your dream.”
“What is your dream, Ruki-san?”
“Happiness,” he said, and he could feel Akira’s gaze resting on him, and required more effort than he’d thought to keep his attention centered on the interview at hand. “My dream is to have someone to make me happy, and to take this band as far as we can go.”
“And do you think that you can accomplish this dream easily?”
“Yeah,” he said, and his gaze drifted off, finding Akira’s once more. And the blonde must have sensed it, as his smile widened and he straightened a little against the counter he was leaning on. “All of us- the five of us in the band- know that we can go far, and we will.”
The interviewer smiled. "And how far do you think the band might go, Ruki-san?"
"I'm not really sure." He paused, and then he smiled. "Eventually? I'd like for us to be as well-known overseas as we are here at home. But for now I think gaining more strength here in Japan is essential, and then the band can really begin to grow." His smile widened a little, and he toyed with a loose thread in his jeans as the interviewer wrote down her notes. "I have a lot of hopes for Gazette," he said, and he glanced up at the interviewer once more. "I want to go as far as we can."
The interviewer smiled at him, nodding and writing down a few more notes, and then, after a few moments of quiet, she gave a bow of her head and told him that their interview was over. He rose from his seat and bowed, smiling, and then left the room, letting Akira steal a kiss once they were out of sight.
"You were blushing like a schoolgirl in there," the bassist said, chuckling, and he pressed a kiss to Takanori's temple. "You weren't thinking about me naked again, were you?"
Takanori laughed softly, letting Akira pull him close to his side, resting an arm around his waist. "Not this time, no," he said. "Was just thinking about how far we've all come."
"Don't tell me you're going soft on me, Takanori-chan," Akira teased softly, and he was chuckling as he unlocked the car and opened the passenger door for the singer. "I may send you out drinking with Kouyou just to toughen you up a bit." He grinned, and Takanori rolled his eyes as he settled into the passenger's seat and waited for Akira to get in.
"I doubt Yuu would let him out of the house anyway," the singer said, chuckling a bit, as Akira started the car. "It's a wonder they even leave to come to rehearsals."
"Implying that my best friend and his husband are sex fiends?" Akira asked, smiling wide.
"No, never," replied Takanori. "Just pointing out that they seem to be enjoying the benefits of marriage, is all."
Akira rolled his eyes. "Kouyou was a pervert before he met Yuu. It's only amplified now because he has a legal claim on the guy." He smiled, and he reached over the center console, taking the singer's hand. "I think it's great, though, that he has someone to rein him in so completely."
Takanori smiled, gently squeezing Akira's hand. "Yeah," he said softly. "I am, too."
“So it becomes a utopia of sorts?”
He nodded, his smile widening. “Something like that. As if the only bad things that could happen are a guitar string breaking or the power cutting out, leaving only Kai-kun with his drums.” His smile softened as he paused to sip from the water provided, and then he looked up at the interviewer once more. “It really is a whole different world.”
“And this world is something you want to continue to experience?”
He nodded again, smile becoming warmer, and there was a sparkle in his eyes as he held the glass of water in his hand, his gaze drifting off. “As long as we can make music, yeah. This feeling is something I don’t want to forget.”
“And what of your personal life, Ruki-san? I know you never really speak of it, but has anything interesting happened? Do you currently have a girlfriend?”
He smiled, laughing softly, shaking his head. “No, he said, and his voice was soft, as though every other question about his personal life had never bothered him before. “No girlfriend. I’ve been focusing on the band- there’s no time for a thing like that.” He let out another soft laugh, and as he sipped at his water, he wondered how the band’s fans would react if it were revealed that he had a boyfriend instead. He smiled as the interviewer took her notes, and he smiled as she glanced up, ready with another question.
“Five years ago,” she said, “your band barely had a fanbase, and you were struggling to make ends meet with your music. How did you get from that to where you are now?”
“We struggled,” he said, and he gave a small, sad smile. “Sadly, we struggled a lot. But as we began to reach farther and farther from Tokyo, more people began to know us and come to our live shows. And it just…built from there, I suppose.” He paused, taking a moment to watch the water in his glass, and then his smile returned once again. “It was hard, but if it were to get us to where we are right now, I’m sure that we would be able to do it again in a heartbeat.”
“That’s very confident.”
“Knowing that these are the lives we’re going to have? That this is the music we’ll get to make? That this is the kind of freedom we’ll have? That would be enough to push on any band that’s struggling for success.”
“And for these bands that are struggling, Ruki-san. Would you be able to offer them any words of advice?”
He smiled, and he glanced up as he saw that Akira had arrived, waiting patiently to take him home, and his smile became wider, and he watched Akira as the interviewer sat, watching him think, watching him nod and gaze off and away from her once again. “Don’t give up,” he said, and he saw Akira smile at him, and then he returned his attention to the interviewer. “That’s my advice: don’t give up, and you will one day have your dream.”
“What is your dream, Ruki-san?”
“Happiness,” he said, and he could feel Akira’s gaze resting on him, and required more effort than he’d thought to keep his attention centered on the interview at hand. “My dream is to have someone to make me happy, and to take this band as far as we can go.”
“And do you think that you can accomplish this dream easily?”
“Yeah,” he said, and his gaze drifted off, finding Akira’s once more. And the blonde must have sensed it, as his smile widened and he straightened a little against the counter he was leaning on. “All of us- the five of us in the band- know that we can go far, and we will.”
The interviewer smiled. "And how far do you think the band might go, Ruki-san?"
"I'm not really sure." He paused, and then he smiled. "Eventually? I'd like for us to be as well-known overseas as we are here at home. But for now I think gaining more strength here in Japan is essential, and then the band can really begin to grow." His smile widened a little, and he toyed with a loose thread in his jeans as the interviewer wrote down her notes. "I have a lot of hopes for Gazette," he said, and he glanced up at the interviewer once more. "I want to go as far as we can."
The interviewer smiled at him, nodding and writing down a few more notes, and then, after a few moments of quiet, she gave a bow of her head and told him that their interview was over. He rose from his seat and bowed, smiling, and then left the room, letting Akira steal a kiss once they were out of sight.
"You were blushing like a schoolgirl in there," the bassist said, chuckling, and he pressed a kiss to Takanori's temple. "You weren't thinking about me naked again, were you?"
Takanori laughed softly, letting Akira pull him close to his side, resting an arm around his waist. "Not this time, no," he said. "Was just thinking about how far we've all come."
"Don't tell me you're going soft on me, Takanori-chan," Akira teased softly, and he was chuckling as he unlocked the car and opened the passenger door for the singer. "I may send you out drinking with Kouyou just to toughen you up a bit." He grinned, and Takanori rolled his eyes as he settled into the passenger's seat and waited for Akira to get in.
"I doubt Yuu would let him out of the house anyway," the singer said, chuckling a bit, as Akira started the car. "It's a wonder they even leave to come to rehearsals."
"Implying that my best friend and his husband are sex fiends?" Akira asked, smiling wide.
"No, never," replied Takanori. "Just pointing out that they seem to be enjoying the benefits of marriage, is all."
Akira rolled his eyes. "Kouyou was a pervert before he met Yuu. It's only amplified now because he has a legal claim on the guy." He smiled, and he reached over the center console, taking the singer's hand. "I think it's great, though, that he has someone to rein him in so completely."
Takanori smiled, gently squeezing Akira's hand. "Yeah," he said softly. "I am, too."