His Personal (Lover) Assistant
I Don't Care.
I’m not sure how, but I made it into my apartment, after Mikey dropped Ainsley and I off at my dad’s home. I told her that I was going to grab a cab home, and she nodded, worriedly, asking if I would be okay. I said yes.
I blindly fumbled with the keys, slipping one after the other into the lock, until I finally found the right one, and unlocked the door, stumbling in, tears in my eyes. This wasn’t right.
This whole Love-Hate relationship wasn’t working, and I knew that.
Everything was fucked up, beyond belief. For good, this time.
I poured myself a drink of hard liquor, and took a sip, wincing as it went down my throat. Strong stuff. The phone rang, and I sighed, picking it up. “Frank, Ainsley called,” Ray said gently. “What’s going on, dude?”
“Nothing,” I said stubbornly. “Nothing at all.”
“I’ll be over in two minutes,” He said, and hung the phone up. I sunk down against the wall, and rested my head on my knees, wrapping my arms around my legs. Stupid Gerard. Stupid alcohol. Stupid sex. All of it. It was my fault, and I was blaming it on other people.
“Frankie?” Ray said softly, walking into the kitchen. He took the glass from my hand, and set it on the counter, before he slid down the wall, sitting next to me. “What’s up?”
“He can’t love me,” I whispered, softly. “He has Sophia.”
“Oh, Frankie.”
“Don’t!” I snapped. “Don’t say I told you so. I don’t need that right now, okay?” He nodded, and wrapped his arms around me, as tears slipped down my face.
“I’m a guy. I should be crying over this shit,” I laughed, through me tears.
“But you’re gay,” He stated plainly. “It’s allowed.” I laughed again, and brushed the tears away. “What’re you gonna do?” He asked. I shrugged.
“Hope he forgets tomorrow, when I walk into work.”
Ray nodded. “Go sleep, Frankie. You need it, okay. I’ll lock Bella up, after I take her out, okay,” He said, as Bella came running in. I smiled, petting her ear a bit, before nodding, and standing up.
“Thanks, Ray,” I whispered, and he smiled, before picking up Bella’s leash, and whistling for her to come over. I made my way to my bed, undressed, and climbed in, staring at the ceiling.
There was no way I was sleeping tonight.
---
“Morning,” Gerard grumbled, stumbling through the door.
He honestly looked more like shit than me. I just mumbled something back, and went back to typing up stuff on the computer for him. He stopped at his door, and turned back around. “You’re not going to say anything about the last two nights?” He asked. I paused, and turned to stare back at him, shocked.
“Yes, Frankie, I remember,” He rolled his eyes. “I wasn’t that drunk.”
“You really were,” I said. Remember, King Of Saying The Wrong Things. He rolled his eyes, and stood by the door, waiting for me to say something else.
“You’re not going to say anything? At all? Frankie, we slept together!” I shrugged.
“We’ve done it before,” I said. He stared in shock.
“That’s all? You don’t care? Because that’s the second time! And I like you.” My gaze turned icy.
“DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT YOU SAID LAST NIGHT?!” I bellowed, getting frustrated. He looked surprised.
“No.”
“Then no. I don’t care Gerard.” I said, and walked out of the office.
I blindly fumbled with the keys, slipping one after the other into the lock, until I finally found the right one, and unlocked the door, stumbling in, tears in my eyes. This wasn’t right.
This whole Love-Hate relationship wasn’t working, and I knew that.
Everything was fucked up, beyond belief. For good, this time.
I poured myself a drink of hard liquor, and took a sip, wincing as it went down my throat. Strong stuff. The phone rang, and I sighed, picking it up. “Frank, Ainsley called,” Ray said gently. “What’s going on, dude?”
“Nothing,” I said stubbornly. “Nothing at all.”
“I’ll be over in two minutes,” He said, and hung the phone up. I sunk down against the wall, and rested my head on my knees, wrapping my arms around my legs. Stupid Gerard. Stupid alcohol. Stupid sex. All of it. It was my fault, and I was blaming it on other people.
“Frankie?” Ray said softly, walking into the kitchen. He took the glass from my hand, and set it on the counter, before he slid down the wall, sitting next to me. “What’s up?”
“He can’t love me,” I whispered, softly. “He has Sophia.”
“Oh, Frankie.”
“Don’t!” I snapped. “Don’t say I told you so. I don’t need that right now, okay?” He nodded, and wrapped his arms around me, as tears slipped down my face.
“I’m a guy. I should be crying over this shit,” I laughed, through me tears.
“But you’re gay,” He stated plainly. “It’s allowed.” I laughed again, and brushed the tears away. “What’re you gonna do?” He asked. I shrugged.
“Hope he forgets tomorrow, when I walk into work.”
Ray nodded. “Go sleep, Frankie. You need it, okay. I’ll lock Bella up, after I take her out, okay,” He said, as Bella came running in. I smiled, petting her ear a bit, before nodding, and standing up.
“Thanks, Ray,” I whispered, and he smiled, before picking up Bella’s leash, and whistling for her to come over. I made my way to my bed, undressed, and climbed in, staring at the ceiling.
There was no way I was sleeping tonight.
---
“Morning,” Gerard grumbled, stumbling through the door.
He honestly looked more like shit than me. I just mumbled something back, and went back to typing up stuff on the computer for him. He stopped at his door, and turned back around. “You’re not going to say anything about the last two nights?” He asked. I paused, and turned to stare back at him, shocked.
“Yes, Frankie, I remember,” He rolled his eyes. “I wasn’t that drunk.”
“You really were,” I said. Remember, King Of Saying The Wrong Things. He rolled his eyes, and stood by the door, waiting for me to say something else.
“You’re not going to say anything? At all? Frankie, we slept together!” I shrugged.
“We’ve done it before,” I said. He stared in shock.
“That’s all? You don’t care? Because that’s the second time! And I like you.” My gaze turned icy.
“DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT YOU SAID LAST NIGHT?!” I bellowed, getting frustrated. He looked surprised.
“No.”
“Then no. I don’t care Gerard.” I said, and walked out of the office.