Reason to Live

He crept behind her. Slowly, he lifted the knife. She was unaware. The sound of the tap dripping, drummed in her mind. She was alone in a darkened room... or so she thought

My heart beat rapidly. The sound of the clock ticking mirrored my heartbeat. I was alone in a darkened room...or so I thought...

“ BOO.”

I squealed at the top of my lungs, throwing Marie’s book into the air. The light turned on, and I cowered on the floor, breathing heavily. Bruce and Eric stood there laughing.

“Aw did I scare you?” Bruce asked, hugging me tightly.

“You asshole!” I punched his arm lightly. “You know how easily I scare.”

“That’s so cruel Bruce,” Eric said shaking his head.

“Wh... what? It was your idea?” Bruce said in disbelief.

“Audrey, I swear I don’t know what he’s talking about.”

I smiled and kissed Bruce’s cheek. “I needed to stop reading that anyway. It’s addictive. I’ve got to get ready.”

“Oh, is tonight your dinner with Aerosmith?” Eric asked.

“Just Steven and Joe. Hopefully we can arrange a tour, because I think a tour with a band like Aerosmith is all it’d take for us to get noticed.”

“Well, you’ve got a few hours until you have to be there. Knowing you, you better start getting ready now,” Bruce suggested. I just poked my tongue out at him.

Due to their schedule, Steven and Joe asked us to have our meeting in New York, which was convenient for me because it gave me an excuse to live with Bruce for the week, without any guilt.

I left a tiny, red lipstick kiss on Bruce’s bathroom mirror, once I was all dressed up, just so that he’d think of me each time he looked in the mirror. I love that it stayed there almost permanently.

When I walked into the living room, I saw Eric pace back and forth anxiously. “You ok?” I asked, slipping on my red stilettos.

“Tonight is the night,” he said, drawing in a deep breath.

“I certainly hope so. For years, we’ve been wanting our band to achieve something. Now we have a chance to get our music out to the people..” I began to ramble, selfishly.

“No, Audrey. I mean tonight is the night,” he repeated. I looked up at Eric and noticed how nicely he was dressed. He wore an elegant black suit, and an awkward smile.

“You’re going to propose tonight?” I asked, excited. He nodded, smiling.

“Oh that’s great!” I yelled, hugging him madly.

“Dude...don’t mess up my hair,” he joked.

“How are you going to do it?” I asked.

“I was thinking I might ask her to marry me by saying something along the lines of “Marie, will you marry me?” I dunno, something like that,” Eric said, being a smart arse.

“No. I mean, where?”

“Oh, at a nice restaurant. I want it to be romantic,” he smiled.

“I’m so happy for you guys,” I said, hugging him tighter. “Can I see the ring again?” I asked.

“No,” he replied. “It makes me nervous looking at it. You were there when I got it! You’ve seen it enough!”

“Well, she’ll show me soon enough.”

“Don’t be so sure. Nothing is certain, she hasn’t said yes yet.”

“That’s only because you haven’t asked her yet Eric.”

“Asked what?” Bruce wondered, wrapping his arms around me. It was a secret between just Eric and I. Luckily Bruce was easily distracted.
“Oh wow. I wish I was in Aerosmith. How great would it be to have dinner with a woman as stunning as this?” Bruce asked Eric. Eric smiled.

“Don’t feel too sorry for yourself. If you play your cards right, you could be having breakfast with me in the morning,” I said, sliding my arms over his shoulders.

“Sounds like I don’t have it so bad after all,” he smiled, leaning towards me for a kiss.

“Lipstick,” I warned him. Instead he opted for a much less satisfying kiss on the cheek and sighed.

“Ah, screw it,” I said, merging our lips into a real kiss. Lipstick smudges aren’t the end of the world.

I left Bruce with pink lips, and Eric with a nervous expression. “Good luck,” I whispered to Eric before I left for the limousine waiting for me out front.

Before I knew it, Dave was leading us inside a quiet little restaurant to meet part of my second favourite band! Steven and Joe shook our hands as Dave introduced us. My god, Joe was hot!

"Oh, you're the girl from Gene's Party! I really am sorry about that whole drink thing,” Joe said as we were introduced. I was astonished that he could remember me.

"It's cool, really,” I reassured him.
I sat next to Debbie and Joe when we were seated at our table. Billie was all over Steven, of course. There are few surprises with somebody as predictable as Billie.
I couldn't get over how amazing Joe was! Everything from the way he sat, ate, smiled at me when we talked. All I could think was that he is perfection. There was no point denying to myself that I had a little crush on him. Of course, it was nothing compared to how I felt about Bruce.

There was an awkward silence when Dave left to answer a phone call - he blabbed on about business the whole time, none of us could get a word in.

"Audrey's sleeping with KISS!" Deb blurted out in order to kill the silence. Everyone laughed but me. I just gave her the coldest look. Steven raised an eyebrow at me.

"Which one?" he asked intrigued.

"Not all of them I hope,” Joe added. “Although that would be interesting.”

"Ah, Bruce Kulick, the guitarist. Friday night they...", Billie began to say before I cut her off.

"Let's talk about something else,” I suggested. It wasn’t that I was ashamed about my relationship with Bruce, I couldn’t have been prouder. It wasn’t that I didn’t want somebody as gorgeous as Joe Perry to know I was in a relationship. I just didn’t want to come across as the groupie type. I wanted to be professional for once. Although, I admit I was uncomfortable talking about my sex life in public at any time.

"Sure. About the tour...” Joe quickly said, sensing my embarrassment. As that happened, Dave returned and immediately took over.
Joe looked a little surprised by Dave's obsession with talking. He leaned close to me and whispered in my ear "How does this guy find time for air?" I cracked up and Dave gave me a pissed off look. Joe continued to whisper hilarious things in my ear the entire time we were there.

“Is there a Miss Moore here?” a posh looking waiter asked.

“Yes, that is me,” I replied, unsure how to feel.

“There is a phone call for you,” he said.

“A phone call?” Dave asked, unimpressed. “Is it important?”

“Well, if they called the restaurant I’d assume so,” Steven said logically.

“Do you know who it is?” I asked.

“Mr Caravello. Paul Charles,” the waiter replied, sounding as if the man was foolish, which of course he was. I smiled widely at the thought of Eric Carr stating his full name in a posh voice, the waiter been unaware that Eric was taking the piss out of him.

“Excuse me,” I said, expecting the call to be about the proposal.

“Mr Caravello?” I said, once picking up the phone from behind the counter.

“Audrey, it all went wrong,” he replied, sounding stressed.

“What? Why? What happened?”

“I finally got her to stop talking about nachos. It was going to be perfect. I was even reaching for the ring in my coat pocket. Then some stupid chef decided he’d burn the fucking kitchen down!”

“What?” I screeched. A passing waitress glared at me. I was oozing with artificial elegance.

“We got evacuated and now it just won’t work,” he said, sounding beat.

“Where are you know?” I asked.

“ At some club. She’s sitting by the bar, looking amazing, and I’m here talking to you, pulling at my hair.”

“Just walk up to her, grab her in your arms and simply ask “Marie, will you marry me?” It doesn’t matter where or how you do it, I know she’ll say yes.”

“I don’t think I want to propose here, where drunk guys are undressing her with their eyes,” he said.

“It doesn’t matter Eric, you can’t keep putting it off.”

“It matters to me. Marie is the love of my life. She deserves the best. I’d like to think I’ll only get to do this once. I want it to be done right,” he said so sweetly. It was so beautiful.

“You’re right...oh you are so amazing. Um... let me think.”

“Hurry please, these men are only getting drunker, It’s like a ...” By pure chance I looked up at a notice board for the restaurant staff. A flyer caught my attention.

“Carnival!” I said loudly.

"Yeah, it's like a carnival."

“No, Eric. There’s a carnival on tonight!” I ripped the flyer off the wall. “Take her there.”

“Are you sure? The place where carnies and clowns stalk innocent people?” Eric joked.

“At midnight there’s fireworks. I can just picture it now. You win her a massive teddy bear, then you both share cotton candy, you ride the Ferris wheel, and as it stops at the top, you turn to her and say “Promise me one thing. That you’ll always love me.” And she’ll be all like “Oh, Eric, I love you.” Then you pull out the ring and she says “yes.” Then, as you both share a passionate kiss as an engaged couple, fireworks fill the sky,” I said dreamily. I was so lost in this perfect, however corny, daydream, that it was Bruce and I instead of Eric and Marie.

“That all sounds great, but what are the chances of all that happening so perfectly?”

“Ok, so it’s pathetically romantic and unrealistic. But the carnival idea is fail proof. Marie will love it,” I said.

“Alright, I’m trusting you. I’m doing it,” he said with certainty.

“Great. Good luck!”

“Thanks so much, bye,” Eric said and hung up.

By the time I had sat back at the table, the main decision was made. We were joining in on the last month of Aerosmith’s European tour. We were to leave to following week. Everybody chatted around me, joking and making serious plans. I tried so hard to appear conscious of what was going on, but my mind was completely stolen. Stolen by the thought of the carnival. Not of Marie and Eric, but that fantasy daydream of Bruce proposing to me. That’s when a terrifying reality hit me.

I was in love.