Reason to Live

I rummaged through Holly’s makeup bag, but with no success. “What do ya see in there?” Debbie asked.

“Black eye liner, black eye shadow, more black eye liner, black fingernail polish... what the hell is this?” I asked, pulling out a ratty looking doll.

“That’s a fucking voodoo doll! With blonde hair and blue eyes!” Debbie panicked, stepping out of the way as I held it up.

“I think It’s meant to be Billie,” I laughed. I can only imagine the horrible things that might have happened to that doll.

“I’m not taking any chances!” Debbie said, not going near me, thinking that the doll was created after her.

“Catch!” I teased, throwing it at her. She batted it away with her arm and it went flying across the room landing straight into my glass of water. “Nice shot Deb!” I said amused. By pure coincidence, I can only hope, Billie walked into the dressing room with dripping wet hair from the shower. Debbie and I exchanged a freaked out look.

Holly hurried into the change room with Billie’s make up purse. “I can’t wait for the day where we can walk into a change room with our makeup already supplied. Stealing each other’s stuff is really getting on my nerves,” Holly complained as she recklessly came at me with a powder covered brush. Debbie laughed when I flinched.

“Chill out Audrey, she won’t punch you this time.”

“Excuse me for being a little bit paranoid,” I replied sarcastically. “I don’t think Billie’s foundation is such a good idea. I might look orange.”

“Shut up Audrey!” Billie yelled, walking out of the room.

“Yeah, but yours is too pale to cover the bruising. Besides, with this mass of red hair, I doubt they’ll be able to see your nose,” Debbie reassured me.

“You’re on!” Dave yelled, almost getting barged over as we ran out of the room with maximum energy.

When I walked out onto the stage and the lights hit me, I felt like I was finally there. There, the place in my career as a musician, that I thought I’d never be at. I was so used to small clubs where maybe two or three people were actually listening to us. This time there was two or three thousand, most people hadn’t even arrived yet. It all happened so quickly. The crowd cheered when Holly began to lead us in with her drums. They had no idea who we were, yet they were cheering. It was all so amazing, yet I was scared shitless.

It just happened naturally. The four of us, as different as we were, somehow managed to perform our song with such tight unity. Even if it was a song about running people over. Luckily our lyrics never got much attention. As long as I had those three to back me up, I knew I’d be able to play.

We fucking rocked that place!

After what was undeniably an amazing Aerosmith concert, we got changed and made our way to the party that Dave managed to get us into. He knew all the right people.

We were rushed so I didn’t get time to get ready. I was literally out of the shower and out the door. I threw on a dark blue dress and stepped into my heels on the way out. I felt very awkward being so underdressed, going to such a high profile party. But this was nothing like the Gene Simmons style parties that I was used to.

We were embraced by the faint sound of Sweet Emotion as we walked towards the entrance to the party, after climbing a staircase, well worth the effort. Billie was making weird squeaking noises because she was that excited. “I can’t wait to see Steven,” she told us.

“Of course you can’t,” Debbie laughed, pushing open the door. This amazing aura hit me. We stepped into a hazy, small room filled with people stoned off their faces, and others dancing wildly to amazing music. The dj , wearing long brown dreadlocks, looked as if he struggled to stand, yet still managed a killer playlist. Dave put his arm around Debbie, ensuring that she wouldn’t run off with a half naked hottie with long hair. I started to wish that I had been to places like these when I was single.

Within an instant, we separated, and I found myself wandering around, looking a little lost. My friends are great like that. Always there want I want to be alone, never around when I don’t.

Shyly, I walked towards the bar, making my way past hippy looking people. Although it wasn’t a style of life I could relate to, I thought they were insanely cool.

He said his name was Mark. It happened so quickly. He stole a kiss, before I even saw him. I was so stunned, that I didn’t object to a gorgeous blonde man with blue eyes, dragging me aside and pushing me down onto a ratty couch. We almost fell on two chicks making out, but they moved pretty fast once Mark started to slide his hands up my dress.

“Woah! Stop! Stop! Stop!” I panicked.

He looked at me confused.
“I think that maybe you have mistaken me for somebody else. I don’t know you.”

“I don’t know anybody here... I don’t even know who the fuck I am,” he said, trying to kiss me. I pushed him away.

“I can’t do this,” I said, quickly getting up and almost running away from him.

I took a seat at the bar. Probably not the best idea for a person with a non-drinking mind set, but it was the only place I could think of in such little time. I sat there bewildered by what had just happened.

“Hey!” a deep voice boomed behind me, scaring me so, that I lost my balance a little and almost fell from the stool where I was sitting. I was caught in strong arms.

“Joe,” I whispered, surprised.

“Hi Audrey. I didn’t realise that you were so jumpy,” he said, gently sitting me back in balance on the stool. He flopped himself on the stool next to me and smiled as the bartender push a bottle of beer in front of him. He had a devilish smile, but it was so sexy.

“I’m a little overwhelmed by all this... wildness,” I laughed.

“Hey, what do ya want to drink?” Joe asked me.

“Oh, I don’t drink. But thanks,” I replied.

“You don’t drink?” he asked shocked.

“Nah, silly enough sober,” I smiled.

“I don’t see it, honestly.”

“You just haven’t been around me long enough.”

“You seem so... delicate. Not in a bad way,” he said, pretty much sculling the beer.

“Fast enough?” I asked, amused.

“Fuck. I’m going crazy with this whole being clean thing my fucking manager has forced upon us. They’re trying to ween me off drugs with alcohol. It’s working, even though I’m becoming an addict to booze. But hey, all these dudes are smoking pot and I’m like... well, I’m here talking to you,” he laughed.

“Yes, that remains a mystery to me too. Go party and leave boring little, delicate me here by myself,” I joked.

“Aw now C’mon, I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sure you can be fun. Hey, you’re pretty wild on stage. I watch you and am speechless,” he reassured me.

“Huh? You watched us?” I asked shocked. I couldn’t believe that Joe Fucking Perry was watching us perform. I was pinching myself just to believe that he was sitting there talking to me voluntarily.

“Yeah, we didn’t just pick you girls to come on tour with us because you’re hot. You are pretty entertaining to watch. I can see the KISS influence too.”

“Oh well thank you,” I beamed. “You guys were amazing of course. Your solo before sweet emotion made the hairs on my arms stand up! You’re like the best guitar...”

He raised an eyebrow as I looked very ashamed with myself.
“Second best guitarist ever,” I corrected myself.

“Oh, you’re counting yourself before me?” he teased.

“No I’m counting my boyfriend first,” I said with a tone to my voice that emphasized the fact that I had a boyfriend. I was quite angry at myself for forgetting about him completely.

“Oh, right. Bruce... Kulick, is it?” he asked. I nodded.

“Yep. He’s my favourite,” I said.

“Rub it in,” Joe smiled.

“What?” I asked, confused.

“Never mind,” he laughed, taking my hand. “C’mon and hang out with the rest of the band.

Joe led me to an enclosed room away from the drugs and the very friendly strangers. There, looking bummed out, sat Aerosmith on a large curved lounge. Not surprisingly, Debbie, Dave, Holly and Billie were there too. Billie was sitting on Steven’s lap, looking mighty pleased with herself.

“Oh there you are Audrey,” Debbie said, once we walked in.

“Oh, here I am. You can stop worrying where I am now,” I said sarcastically, knowing that they forgot I even existed. I don’t blame them really. It was either me talking about how much I missed Bruce, or hanging out with Aerosmith.

“Oh for fucks sake! You all look fucking dead man! Wake the fuck up!” Tom Hamilton said, jumping from the lounge. He ran out of the room, quickly returning with a huge bundle of helium balloons that some fans sent.

“What are you going to do Tom? Fly away?” Steven said with a smart arsed grin. He had such a cool tone with every word he spoke.

“They never said no to us having helium, right?” Tom asked.

“I doubt it’ll be the same as coke, but ah, what the hell?” Steven said, grabbing a balloon.

“Oh man I gotta try this,” Joe said with child like excitement. He started singing after inhaling
the helium. It was hilarious. Soon enough we were all trying it.

“Hey man, get the fuck away it’s mine!” Brad yelled in the squeakiest voice ever when Tom tried to take a balloon from him. It remains one of my favourite memories.

As you’d expect, the helium didn’t last long. Soon after, the guys took to chugging beer. I was surprised how entertaining it could be. I never found it fun to watch when my Dad did it every Christmas, but Aerosmith for no occasion, it was awesome fun.

“Hell yeah, no one can beat me!” Joey roared.

“Hey, don’t speak too soon,” I said, stepping over a coffee table to where he stood.

“What? Audrey, are you crazy? You don’t drink!” Debbie laughed, not thinking I was serious.

“Hey, I rock at this with water, why not beer?” I shrugged, letting Joe and Tom encourage me.
I took a deep breath and sculled as much beer as possible. I was surprised that I could do it.

“You’re my hero babe!” Tom said, bowing down to me.

“Fuck!” was all the legendary Steven Tyler could manage to say.

Obviously I don’t remember much else that happened that night, other than getting drunk and throwing up over the edge of a balcony. And the guilt of drinking, when it was something I never wanted to do. It’s amazing how influential Aerosmith could be. I do remember Billie being pissed off though, because Steven became less interested in her when some prettier chick named Alex came along.

Of course, the parties didn’t stop there.