Reason to Live

By mid 1987 , Bruce and I had bought an amazing apartment together and were living in L.A. Debbie and I sold our place because she had moved in with our manager Dave. I really missed living with her, but loved living with Bruce.

Bruce was in Hollywood recording a KISS album , while I stayed at home to work on some songs for my band's album, which we were so close to releasing. Joe came over to help with a song that was missing two things. A title, and a solo.
Debbie had written the lyrics, which included the line “ I can’t go back it’s killing me, there’s so much left for you to see.” Nobody was sure where that came from, she would always say “They’re just words.” Because of this, we really struggled to find the emotion of the song.

“It’s gotta be about a breakup, right?” Joe asked as he scribbled down random words onto a notepad.

“I really don’t know. I mean, it could be about being excited about a relationship too. Like she can’t go back to the way she was before, now she has this?”

“Don’t ask me! She’s your best friend!” Joe laughed.

“Look, I’m just going to close my eyes, and start playing,” I said as I picked up my sea green Gibson.

“Alright then,” Joe agreed, sinking back into my leather couch. He watched me, with a curious smile on his face.
I found within myself, possibly the greatest solo I could have imagined at the time. It was very Jimmy Page inspired, and had this awesome slide thing at the end. When I used the term “slide thing” Joe laughed.

“What?” I asked, stirred by his laughter. “Not you too!”

“I’m sorry, it’s just cute. “You play guitar that can rock the fucking balls off me, then go and say something so clueless like that. It just makes me wonder how you could play guitar like that in the first place.” Joe said, before taking a mouthful of the Italian dish he cooked for us. He loved to cook and was very good at it. He almost chocked because he couldn’t stop laughing at me.

“You big jerk,” I said, not seriously.
In an attempt to flick food at me with his spoon, he accidentally miss- judged what he was doing and ended up throwing the spoon at me instead.

"Ouch! Joe! What the hell?" I said very confused.

"I'm sorry,” he said then quickly got up to rub my arm where it hit. “I didn’t mean to throw the spoon, I swear,” he laughed.

"Oh, ok,” I laughed back.

"You better not tell Bruce that I spooned you,” he joked.

"He wouldn't mind... as long as you don't fork me,” I laughed. He started laughing too as the phone rang. I answered it and thought it was a strange coincidence that Bruce was the person calling.

"Hey babe, how's your album going?" he asked.

"Great! We're almost done. What about yours?"

He laughed "We're arguing over what to call it."

"Well, good luck with that,” I replied.

"Ha, yeah. Hey, what do you have planned for this afternoon?" he asked. "Nothing urgent?"

"Well Deb and I were going to the movies - James Bond!" I said excitedly. “But you can always take me to see that later,” I suggested.

"Ah, well that can wait! If you come to the studio, I have a surprise for you,” he said.

“What kind of surprise?” I asked, with a tone of voice that hinted my expectation of something ridiculous.

“The kind that will make you say “Oh Bruce I’m sorry I didn’t believe you over the phone and get my pretty little ass to the studio quicker” that kind of surprise,” he said. I could just picture that adorable cocky smile on his face.

“I would never speak about my arse like that!” I said with artificial disgust. I could hear Joe laughing at me.

“No, that’s right. You only like to talk about my butt.”

“Yeah, that’s right Bruce,” I smiled, not that he could see.

“So can you make it here or what? I really want to see you.”

"Umm...ok. I guess I could get over in an hour or so. Can't you tell me what this surprise is now?" I asked curiously.

"No, it must be a surprise. I've gotta go! I'll see you soon ok? Love you Aud, bye!" he said quickly and hung up.

“Goodbye Mr Kulick,” I said to myself, as I swung the phone around by its coil and placed in back on the receiver. I turned to face Joe, who raised an eyebrow.

“So...” he said.

“So, that slide thingy will have to do for today. I’m wanted in Hollywood,” I smiled.

“You’re not the first woman to turn me down for Hollywood,” Joe joked.

“Who says that I’m turning you down Joe?” I teased.

“Go on! Run off with the lead guitarist of KISS. See what I care!” Joe laughed.

“We’ll be in the studio tomorrow. If you stop by, we can show the girls what we’ve been working on.”

“That’ll have to do,” Joe replied smiling.

Later that afternoon I arrived at the studio where KISS were recording and Bruce caught me by surprise when he crept up behind me and scared the hell out of me! I squealed my lungs out, as I often do when I'm surprised - I scare easily.

"Oh, honey I'm so sorry,” Bruce said as he hugged me and kissed my cheek.

"You scared the Living Daylights out of me!" I said while trying to catch my breath. He let go of me and raised an eyebrow.

"That's a James Bond movie, isn't it?"he asked with pretend annoyance. He looked so cute when he pulled that face.

"Yes, one I could be watching right now! What's so important for me to be here?" I asked curiously. He laughed, then kissed me, deliberately ignoring my question.

"Bruce!" I whinged.

"Ok, wait here." he said then disappeared into a room. I stood alone waiting, then caught my reflection in a window. My hair was in a mess, so I decided to fix it up.

"Ya know, most people use a mirror for that?” a very familiar voice said followed by a distinctive laugh. I froze, and I swear my heart stopped beating for a few seconds. There is only one person in the world who can laugh like that! I slowly turned to see ACE FREHLEY smiling at me.

"Oh my god! ” I whispered in complete shock and awe. He giggled, which was extremely cute.

"I'm Ace. You must be Bruce's girlfriend,” he said as he shook my hand.

"Yes, I'm Audrey,” I said nervously - I was meeting my hero!

"Nice to meet you,” he laughed.

Bruce and Paul entered the room, looking amused by what they saw. I gave Bruce a smile that pretty much said “THANK YOU”. He laughed at my excitement.

"Audrey, I see you’ve met Ace. She’s a huge fan,” Paul told Ace. He looked pleased with that.

“ It’s true. You are the reason I play guitar,” I said with so much embarrassment. Bruce put his arm around me and kissed my ear.

“Wow, that’s great! It is especially flattering given the way you play guitar,” Ace said, leaning against the wall. He radiated coolness. Everything from the way he spoke to the blue fingernail polish. He’s the only man that can pull that off and still look masculine.

I choked on air when he said that. “You... you’ve heard me play?” I asked shocked.

“Yeah, I saw your band on the Aerosmith tour. Your singer has an incredible voice. But you caught my eye with the way you played guitar. Not only did you look great, you sounded it too. I bet you girls will be huge one day.”

“... thanks,” I said dumbly. I couldn’t think of anything else to say.

“I better go, see ya guys!” Ace yelled and got a few goodbyes in return.

Once he left, I collapsed into Bruce’s arms, giggling. “Thank you so much!”

“ Are you ok?” Bruce laughed.

“I almost died of embarrassment, but other than that. I’m fantastic! That was one hell of a surprise Bruce!”

Paul laughed. “That’s not the surprise,” Paul winked.

“What?”

“No, there’s a better surprise. Well, probably not now after you just met your favourite guitarist,” Bruce said, leading me towards the recording room.

“Actually, I met my favourite guitarist ages ago,” I said, smiling when I saw Marie and Eric sitting on a couch.

“What are you talking about?” Bruce asked confused.

“Audrey!” Marie yelled .

“Marie!” I yelled back, laughing. She tackled me with a hug.

“Did you meet Ace?” she asked.

“Yes!” I screamed. “How cool is he?”

“He’s epic!”

“Is he working on the album?” I asked.

“No, he’s not, but I tell you who has been... my fiancé!” Marie smiled. “I have so much to talk to you about later. I’ve got your dress ordered, and I need you to come cake testing with me, ok?”

“Cake testing? I’m so there! Who would’ve thought planning a wedding could be this much fun?”

“Who’s your favourite guitarist Audrey?” Bruce interrupted us, pressing his face against mine.

“Paul is,” I smiled. Bruce gave me a hurt look. “Oh, I’m kidding dimple boy. It’s you!” I said, then kissed him.

“Isn’t it Ace?” Marie asked.

“Well, that was until I really found out what Bruce’s fingers could do,” I winked.

“Oh dang,” Marie smiled.

“He knows his way around a g-string,” I laughed.

“Please stop the guitar jokes,” Bruce said.

“Aw c’mon. Don’t be embarrassed. I like your style of fingering! ” I chased after him laughing.

Like all KISS related projects, this album gave Gene Simmons are great deal of excitement and pride. He practically threatened Marie and I to listen to a song, which of course was insane because both Marie and I were proud soldiers of the KISS army and would do anything to hear a yet to be released track.

“Are we showing them?” Paul asked Gene.

“Yes, they can decide,” Gene said while smiling at us adoringly.

“Decide what?”Marie asked curiously. I looked over my shoulder and saw Bruce and Eric talking.

“Just how good the song is, and we thought who better to ask than our two most beautiful fans,” Paul said as he put his arms around us both. Marie blushed and I giggled – this was too cool!

“Ok!” I squealed with excitement. As the song began to play Marie and I gave each other a look of awe. I smiled from start to finish. It was a pure 80's ballad, with the unique KISS sound that made it one of the greatest songs ever! Bruce's solo gave me goose bumps, as they often do, and Paul's vocals were sensational!

“Play it again!” Marie begged as Eric laughed at her enthusiasm, while he and Bruce walked over to us.

“We’re calling it Reason To Live,” Paul said proudly.

“Oh, wow,” I sighed, with genuine happiness.

“AGAIN!” Marie yelled, in case they didn't hear her the first time. We all laughed.

“No more,” Gene said. “You'll have to wait until the album is released.” He teased us with a cruel smile.

“And I suppose we’ll have to pay to hear it?” Marie asked.

“You will buy many copies of the album ,yes,” Gene said.

Later on, Marie and I occupied ourselves by throwing guitar picks into Eric’s hair while he wasn’t looking. It was funny how he had enough hair to not even realise what was happening.

“We’re just about done. Ready to go Audrey?” Bruce asked, wrapping his arms around me.

“Ok. Oh wait. Wasn’t there a surprise?”
Marie’s smiling hinted that she knew what the surprise was.

“Yeah, but I can’t show you here,” Bruce said, smiling at Marie.

“Oh god. Please don’t tell me that you’ve tattooed your dick or something.” Eric drooled coffee from laughing when he heard that.

“No,” Bruce laughed. “It’s outside, c’mon,” he said as he picked up my hand.

"Ok, close your eyes,” he said as we got to the bottom of the stairs.

"Should I be scared?" I asked.

“Letting Bruce lead you down the stairs with your eyes closed? Yeah, you should be terrified,” Eric joked.

"Just keep 'em closed ok?” he said as he led me outside. "Ok, open!"

Before me I saw the most bodacious Mustang I had ever seen in my life. I squealed with excitement as I hugged the bonnet. "1969, Cherry Red Mach 1 Fastback!" I gasped in worship. I ran back to Bruce and leaped into his arms. I almost melted when he handed me they keys.

"Thank you! Oh thank you so much!" I said in between kisses.

"Anything for my baby,” he replied as I kissed him.

Paul walked out to see what all the excitement was. “Woah, that sure made her happy,” I heard him say to Bruce.

“Yeah, It’s her favourite car,” Bruce smiled.

“You are going to get lucky tonight!” Paul laughed.

Bruce walked over and got in the passenger’s seat. By this point I had already tuned into a rock station and was playing David Lee Roth at maximum volume. “This is amazing. This is the greatest present a guy has ever given me! You’re amazing, I love you so much!” I said, leaning over to kiss him.

“I love you too Aud.”