Reason to Live

“Everything is good. Except one thing,” MTV’s representative, Dwayne, told us. “Miss Moore, can I speak with you?” he asked. I nodded and followed him into a small office. I knew Dave and the girls would be glued to the door, listening as we spoke. I was very nervous, knowing that our chance to get our video played now lied solely on me. “There’s no denying that you are the most... um, how do I say, targeted woman we’re dealing with here. People will watch these videos to see the ex girlfriend of a KISS member. And the Joe Perry rumours are still hot, we need to jump on this for benefit, do you understand what I mean?”

“Oh I understand, you want to exploit my personal life,” I replied bitterly.

“No, not at all. Please don’t get me wrong. See we want to present you as a strong, beautiful woman who is not affected by what has happened. And, while you may be capable of being that, you are after all incredibly talented, you seem Audrey, a little depressed.”

“Oh, I seem a little depressed do I?” I asked, faking misunderstanding.

“We’ll work on the way you appear as you play, your sound is fine. You just seem so... bitter. You strum rather violently and your movements are minimal. This isn’t how you were described to me. So what we will do is turn off the amps...”

“No, no you will not do anything!” I snapped. “I play with emotion. And not that it is any of your business, yes I am fucking depressed. You wanna know why? Stupid assholes like you that keep sticking your nose in my business ok?” I screamed, storming out of the room.

“Audrey. Think about what you’re doing...” Holy said sternly.

“You can shove your video up your arse. I’m not changing. Why the fuck would I smile and act happy when evidently I’m not? “

“Audrey, this is what I advise we work on. Your reaction to this issue. The press are going to ask about your previous and whatever current relationships. You can’t carry on like this,” Dwayne said, sounding rather bored.

“I think you approached it a little rudely, jackass.”

“Audrey, you’re ruining the band!” Billie whined.

“No! Can’t you see I’m not the only person with problems here? Billie, you’re addicted to cocaine, among other things, Holly, sorry you’re a bitch, and Debbie... c’mon, tell me I’m right. For once in your life, tell me I am right!” I screamed.
I stood there holding my guitar, as they all looked at me, not saying anything. The television was the only noise heard. Just to drive me over the edge, I’m sure, the Reason To Live video began to play.
I looked up at them, still nothing. “ Say something!” I yelled.

“David, can I talk to you please?” Dwayne began, when I completely lost it. I Swung my guitar so hard against the television that glass shattered everywhere, ending the imagine of Paul Stanley dancing around.

“Audrey, what the fuck has gotten into you?” Dave snapped.

“Joe Perry,” Dwayne said quietly.

“I quit!” I screamed. “This band has brought me nothing but stress! I am out of here!” I yelled, racing for the exit.

“Audrey wait! Don’t do this, we need you!” Debbie yelled chasing after me.

Debbie followed me to my apartment, that I had been living in alone for two weeks. “Audrey, what are you doing? C’mon this is silly. What’s with the bags?” she asked, blocking the exit as I tried to escape with suitcases.

“I’m going home,” I said, determined to knock her over on her arse if I had to.

“Home? This is your home Audrey.”

“No. I’m going back to my real home,” I said pushing past.

“Australia?” she asked.

“Yes. There,” I said.

“Not if I can help it,” she said, grabbing onto my suitcase.

“Let go Debbie!” I said, pulling at it.

“No, there’s no way I’m letting my best friend run away!”

“Let go Deborah!”

“No, Audrey!”

“LET GO!” I squealed, pulling it hard enough for it to rip open, scattering my clothes everywhere.

“You’re staying,” Debbie demanded.

“ You know what? I don’t need anything or anyone. I’m leaving,” I said, turning away. This time she did not follow.

I waited at the airport, holding the ticket in my hand. I hadn’t seen my family in four years. There I stood, no boyfriend, no job, no friends. Except for Marie. And apparently somebody else.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at a wedding next Friday?” a familiar voice asked. I turned to see Joe Perry standing behind me.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, wiping a few stray tears with my jacket sleeve.

“I’m going to Australia,” he replied.

“No you’re not,” I said, watching as people began to board the plane.

“What are you doing here?”he asked. I shook my head, trying hard not to look at him. He looked so good.

“I’m going to Australia,” I said.

“No you’re not,” he replied with a cocky smile.

“Yes I am!” I said, taking in a deep breath. I began to walk, but was pulled back as Joe grabbed my arm. He gently held my hand, and placed his other hand on the side of my face. Our eyes connected, and he stared at me with those warm brown eyes.

“Bruce might not want you, but I do.”