Reason to Live

The next morning I woke up with a killer headache. At first I was shocked to find myself in my bed, without any knowledge of how I got there. Then I became relieved once I established that I was alone. I noticed a note on my bedside table that read;

Audrey,
Please don't freak out, I made sure you were safe and comfortable. Marie and Eric said goodbye, and are not at all upset by your “behaviour”. I'm a little shocked to be honest, that you'd resort to that, but still love you nonetheless. Trying hard not to sound like a jerk, but this wasn’t easy for me to do. There's no need to thank me – It's the duty of a friend.
Take care, and stay away from the wine, ok?
~ Paul.

“What the hell?” I said out loud.

What the fuck did I do?

When I walked into the living room, Billie greeted me with extreme interest. I moved in with Billie as quickly as possible. Living with her became quite an experience.

“What happened?” I asked groggily.

“ What didn’t happen? How are ya feeling?” she teased.

“Bite me!” I replied as walked towards the kitchen in search of pain killers.

“Hey, Aud?”

“Mmm,” I replied.

“What do you remember about last night?” she asked cautiously.

“Oh crap!” I said as my memory came rushing back. “I talked to Bruce didn't I?”

“Ha, no... not Bruce,” she laughed.
I returned to the living room and gave her a blank look. “Well, you did approach “Bruce” and threw your arms around his shoulders, flirting with him like mad,” she laughed. I banged my head against the wall.

“Oh, no!” I sulked. “I bet I embarrassed myself. He probably thinks I’m a stupid drunk now!”

“Ah, that's not the worst...” she said, looking down, smiling. I couldn't understand why she found it so amusing. I looked at her, horrified.

“You also complimented him on his new haircut.”

“Bruce had a hair cut?” I asked.

“Ahah no! You were talking to his brother Bob!” she laughed hysterically.

“Oh my god!” I said mortified, while pulling at my hair. “What did I say? More importantly what did I do?”

“How much of last night do you remember?” she worried.

“Oh,” I said, holding my head as I sat next to her. “Paul and I were dancing...”

“You made out with Bob. I didn’t see it, I already left, but...”

“ Bob?! Oh crap! What did he do?”

“When Paul brought you home last night, he said you tried to have sex with Bob. But then he said that was only because you thought he was Bruce. And then apparently you puked everywhere, in typical Audrey fashion.”

“Wait a minute. You left the wedding before this happened, but you were here when I came home?”

Billie looked a little nervous. “I just wasn’t in a party mood”

“Bullshit! You are always in a party mood! The only reason you would leave without me is if you were with a guy...”

“Okay,” she sighed. “I was...”

“Is he here?” I asked, looking around.

“Nope, It’s only been me and you here.”

“Wow! He must have been a dud for you not to stay the night with him!” I giggled.

“Funny,” she said quietly.

Seven months later...

In May, 1988, the 18th to be exact, we sold out our first show. Our song was on the radio and I had fan mail on a daily basis. It was like all my dreams had come true.
“You’re gonna love this,” Joe whispered in my ear. I looked up at him and smiled. He had his right arm around me tightly, while the other hand caressed my hair. I ran my hand along his thigh, him watching happily. God, I love leather pants. He gently turned my face towards his and pressed his lips against mine.

“Mmmm,” I moaned as he slipped his tongue inside my mouth.

“That’s what I’m talking about!” Dave yelled, impressed. He waved a bottle of beer around, spilling some on Debbie and the leather, limousine seats.

“What?” I laughed, breaking away from my boyfriend.

“Having fun there?” Joe asked sarcastically.

“The two of you are doing that when we get out there in front of the paparazzi,” he ordered.

“Hey, you’re not my manager,” Joe laughed.

“No but seriously. If they suspect you two are bonking, which of course you are, imagine the publicity!”

“Dave. Shut up,” I said reaching for another glass of vodka. I was no longer saying “I don’t drink.”

We stepped out of the limo into madness of bright, flashing lights and people screaming. Arriving with Aerosmith was a smart move on Crypteia’s behalf. Joe held me tightly as we made our way through reporters and fans.

Some people yelled my name, which I found incredibly astonishing. I couldn’t get over it. Just a few years before I sat in an office, wearing a nametag and badge and still had people calling me “Amanda.” But now, people I had never seen before knew me, and my band, and that I preferred to play without picks while in the studio, and that I named my infamous first guitar “donkey” because it sucked like a donkey in a horse race. If they didn’t already know, that night they could be certain that I was dating Joe Perry. Bruce Kulick, so it seemed, was out of the picture.
Convincing myself that I was over Bruce was surprisingly easier than it seemed. Of course it sure made it easier when I was sharing a bed with a man that just oozed sex appeal like Joe Perry. It was something I told myself constantly that I didn’t want to do, but when Marie timidly broke the news that Bruce had moved on, it became much easier to do. Besides, I adored Joe.

Poison, Cinderella, Twisted Sister and Bon Jovi were just some of the bands that attended the 20 year anniversary of Hollywood’s Laser Radio launch. It was the wildest party yet... at least what I saw while I was awake.
I drank so much that night, I wasn’t around for long. I remember sitting on a leather couch chatting madly to Steven Tyler’s girlfriend Alex, while Joe occasionally interrupted to either feed me whiskey and cherry cocktails or make out with me, Steven doing the same to Alex. I also remember getting yelled at by a drunken Billie because I kept calling her “Marie”, whom I greatly missed going to parties with. It made it hard to hang out with her when her husband was inseparable to my ex.

On my way to the bathroom with Billie, I noticed a man clad in leather, with long dark hair. He was none other than Tom Keifer from Cinderella, and boy was he hot. He winked and I giggled insanely. Billie looked at me shocked and shook her head. “How many guitarists do you want?” she asked, amused. I should have taken that as a hint that I was going too far, coming from the boy crazy Billie. It wouldn’t have happened anyway, he had a fierce, but gorgeous looking woman with long brown hair, clinging to him tightly.

Two, maybe four drinks later and I was carried into a room by Joe. “I don’t scare easily, but you have me terrified,” Joe said, gently laying me down on a couch.

“Why’d you take me away Joe?” I slurred, ripping at his shirt. He smirked.

“Do you remember dancing on the table?” he asked.

“Of course, I remember you looking pretty turned on too,” I whispered, tracing his lips with my fingers.

“Do you remember falling off the table?” he asked, letting me kiss him.

“Yeah,” I giggled.

“You are so drunk,” he cooed.

“I...I want... you,” I said, breathing heavily, then remember feeling tired.