Reason to Live

Bruce stroked my hair as I woke. I lied there, afraid to move, unsure how I was feeling. "Thanks for last night," I whispered.

"Aud, you don't have to thank me. I'd be a pretty big jerk if I didn't take care of you," he replied.

"You know what made me fall in love with you?" I asked.

"My chin dimple?" he guessed, laughing.

"No. The way you look after me when I'm sick, or even when I'm not. You're always making sure I'm alright. When I met you, that's exactly what you were doing...you're so sweet."

"But I thought you don't need..."

"I know I said that I don't need you to take care of me, that I can take care of myself. But I do need you Bruce. I don't know what I'd do without you," I said truthfully. He smiled, then kissed my forehead.

"You'll never have to find out, because I'll always be here for you," he said, sweetly.

"But what happens when you're on the other side of the world?" I asked.

"Auddy, I'm a flight away," he smiled.

"I love you," I said, yawning.

"I know. How are you feeling today?" he asked, gently stroking my face with his fingertips.

"Good... I think," I nodded , smiling. "But I can promise you one thing."

"Yeah? What's that?"

"That I will never eat Chinese again," I said seriously. Bruce just laughed.

The night before, we so boldly took my incredibly racist sister to a Chinese restaurant
, which proved to be quite an embarrassing experience. Because we planned to have the engagement party in Australia, we had a quiet dinner in New York for Bruce's family before we left the next day. Although planned for Bruce's Aunts and Uncles ,unable and unwilling to fly across the world, Debbie, Dave, Eric and Marie were there too. After all, to us, they are family.
It started out well, with Bruce's mother, Alice, showering me with attention. I had never felt so adored. Marie sulked because nachos weren't on the menu, but her and I had a great time regardless, as we always do when we're together. It was a great night...until I got home.

"Are you okay?" Bruce asked as we walked inside. "You look really pale." I shook my head and ran for the bathroom.

"Ugh, she's gonna chuck. What was she drinking?" I heard Sally ask.

"Nothing. She doesn't usually drink," Bruce replied, sounding concerned.

"Are you sure? Because knowing my sister, all it takes is one or two drinks."

"She only drank water, I was with her all night," he said, turning the door knob. "Aud, I'm coming in okay?" he yelled. As he did, I tripped over the bathroom mat, smacking my face against the toilet seat, where seconds later I almost literally (or so it felt like) puked my guts out. It was horrible. I can remember feeling so disgusting as blood trickled down my face with tears as I threw up two or three times in a row. Sally searched for damp towels as Bruce held my hair back. "Do you think maybe it's food poisoning?" he asked me, as he wiped the blood off my face. I nodded, holding my head in pain. "Are you going to be sick again?" he asked.

"I hope not," I whispered. "Am I bleeding?"

" Just a little, you'll be right though. It's the tiniest cut," he said reassuringly. He picked me up off the floor and hugged me tightly.

"Bruce, I can't be sick. We have to go to Australia tomorrow!" I stressed.

"Here you go," Sally said as she handed me a cup of water.

"Thanks," I smiled, leaning over the sink to rinse my mouth out.

"Why can you be this nice all the time?" Bruce joked as he talked to Sally.

"Don't start," she threatened. "Will you be okay Aud?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine."

"Alright. Well, as long as everything's okay, I'll go to bed," Sally said, walking out of the room.

"Bye," Bruce said, then turned to me. "See, she does love you."

Bruce then carried me into the bedroom, helped me get changed out of my clothes, and made sure that I was in bed, where he stayed with me until we both woke up the next morning.

It felt so good when I stepped into the warm, Australian sunshine. At first I felt insecure when I noticed people passing by us, staring. However, an encounter with a typical Aussie “bogan” quickly reminded me that the lead guitarist of the Hottest Band In the World, was holding my hand as we pushed our way through the airport.

“Holy crap! I know you!” a guy yelled with a mullet, horrific even in 1989. Bruce pulled me close to him as he took off his sunglasses, revealing his identity.

“You do?” Bruce asked.

“Yeah, you're in KISS aren't ya? You're Gene Simmons!” the guy yelled. A few people overheard that, rushing over to see a celebrity.

Bruce laughed. “No, I'm not Gene Simmons... but I am in KISS. I'm the guitarist, Bruce Kulick," he smiled as he shook the guys hand.

"That's not Gene!" I heard a person from afar say. "Isn't that the new guy?"

“What's your name?” Bruce asked.

“Oh, I'm Bazza.”

“Bazza?” Bruce asked.

“Barry, right?” I laughed.

“Yeah, but only the cops and my old lady calls me that love," Bazza said. “Who's the shiela? Groupie or girlfriend?”

“She's my girl," Bruce smiled as he kissed my cheek. He signed the guy's shirt and left him feeling very proud. I love how great Bruce is with fans, even those who don't know his name.

After a quick meal in Sydney, Sally drove us to Cancove Bay where my family live. For the entire eight hour trip, I tried hard not to vomit. I guess a plane trip and a car ride in summer, don't mix well with chicken and potato wedges. Despite how exhausted and horrible I felt physically, I couldn't have been any more relaxed to have seen the gorgeous glimmering ocean of the NSW North Coast.

“Home Sweet Home," I sang as I stepped out of the car and let the ocean breeze lift my hair. I grabbed Bruce's arm and started to run towards the house, taking him by surprise.

“You made a miraculous recovery!”, he laughed. With each breath of real, fresh air, my stomach became more settled.

We noticed nobody was around when there was no answer at the door.

“Where are they Sal?”, I asked surprised.

“Beats me," she replied. “They know we're coming.”
Suddenly I felt somebody sweep me off my feet.

“There she is – the most beautiful girl in the world!”, my cousin smiled as Sally stuck her tongue out at him.

“Danny!”, I yelled as I hugged him happily. Bruce looked a little threatened.

“Chill out, it's our cousin," Sally said, elbowing Bruce in the ribs.

“Ouch. You do that too?”, he asked as Sally smiled, pleased with herself.

"Forget our Dad, this is the guy you need to impress," Sally told Bruce.

"Ah, don't listen to Sally. If Audrey loves ya, then I do too mate. I'm Danny," he said, shaking hands with Bruce.

"Nice to meet you," Bruce replied.

“C'mon we're out the back," Danny smiled as he led us to my parents.

“Oh my god! Bond?!!”, I exclaimed, amazed as my childhood dog came running towards us. He was the most beautiful boarder collie, despite being thirteen years old.

“Ha, you called your dog Bond?” Bruce laughed.

"Yes, Bond. James Bond," I replied.

“He's a little blind now," Sally said sadly. I hadn't been home in five years, so much had changed!

“Look who's here!”, Danny yelled as my mother came running over. I felt a little left out at first because all her attention was on Bruce, who she hugged instantly. I kinda just stood there thinking Hello?

“I'm so glad to see [i ] you ," she said to him, suggesting that she never approved of my relationship with Joe. Bruce met my mother briefly at my birthday party in '87, but he was yet to meet my father. “Ken!!”, she screamed at the top of her lungs, then hugged me.

“Dad!”, I said excitedly as he kissed my cheek.

“You've changed so much Aud, yet you're still so beautiful," he said sweetly. I always feel weird with compliments like that. I don't think I'm ugly, but being told that I'm beautiful, even if
it's by my father or boyfriend, is a little bit of a shock.

“Dad, I'd like you to meet Bruce," I said as I pushed Bruce towards him.

“I'm so glad to finally meet you Mr Moore," he said, almost a little nervously. I don't blame him, my father is quite intimidating . He's a huge, tall, scary looking guy, but a total sweetheart on the inside. He even made Bruce look short, which was hard to do because Bruce is quite tall.

“Na, It's my pleasure mate. Aud loves ya, so I do too," Dad laughed. He was already drunk and my mother did not look too impressed. “Let me show ya what you Yanks are missin' out on... the greatest game on the planet," he smiled as he handed Bruce a bottle of beer and led him away. My dad loves Rugby League, to the point where it's a religion for him. I felt sorry for poor Bruce who was being dragged away to watch eighty minuets of a sport he wouldn't understand. It did however, allow me a chance to spend time with my mother, who was more than excited about the wedding. She talked constantly, telling me over and over about what she had planned for the party. I tried, but couldn't find the energy to listen any longer – I felt horrible.

“Are you ok honey?”, she asked as I became dizzy and started to lose my balance. She grabbed hold of me and led me to the living room, where I fell asleep on the couch.

“Wake up...”, Bruce whispered, making me smile before I opened my eyes. “You're really starting to worry me," he said with concern as he kissed my forehead.

“I'm okay, I promise... It's just the travelling," I said, hoping it was true. “How was the game?”

“How your father can sit there and watch that with such passion, I will never know," he laughed.

“It's great, really. Much better than baseball," I smiled.

“No way! Baseball rules!”, Bruce laughed. I started laughing to, which made my head hurt.

“Ugh, I wanna puke!”, I said as he swept my hair out of my face with his fingers.

“I love it when you talk dirty to me," he joked, then kissed me.

“And, as well as feeling like I'm gonna throw up, my ankles are swollen! See what traveling does?” I whinged.

“Aw, baby don't worry," he smiled. “Tomorrow, everyone will be here, and you'll feel better – I promise!”

“ Ya, know. You're making me feel better already," I smiled as I hugged him. Sure, I lied. I still felt like shit, but knowing he cared was a pretty good feeling.