Reason to Live

Watching Debbie jump around screaming because I put seaweed down her bikini was incredibly entertaining.
"You bitch!" she yelled, tackling me into the waves. Not paying attention to our surroundings, we both got dunked my a massive wave. Coughing up salt water and laughing at the same time, we helped each other up.
"Call it even?" I asked.
"Think so," she nodded. "Hey..." Debbie said, gazing back towards the sand. "Here comes your Brucie, and dare I say he is looking fine?"
"It's only a dare when your boyfriend is around. You know my rule," I laughed.
"I can look but I can't touch?"
"That's right," I smiled, swishing water at my ankles as I left the water and headed for the beach where Bruce stood.
Debbie wasn't kidding, he was looking fine. He wore shorts, sunglasses and a thin, black shirt, unbuttoned enough to reveal his chest hair. There was only one thing I wanted...

"Hey babe..." Bruce said, getting leaped at with a kiss.
"C'mon!" I said excitedly, leading him towards the water by the arm. He stoped and smiled at me. "The water's amazing, c'mon and get wet... I know you want to!"
He laughed. " I know you want me to, but I'm busy."
"Busy? Bruce what the hell are you talking about? You're on vacation!" I said, sounding annoyed.
"Well, your father thinks otherwise," he chuckled. I noticed a little far behind Bruce, my father recklessly running towards us.
"Ohh god, Dad please don't run," I said, shaking my head. He caught up, panting with his hands on his knees.
"How's it goin love?" he asked, hugging me.
"Dad, you've gotta slow down or you'll have a heart attack or something," I worried. His tank top was showing sweat stains as he covered his eyes from the brutal Australian sunshine, that I never thought I'd miss.
"Darl, the only thing that can kill me right now is the bloody heat. How bloody hot is it? It's not even 10 o clock yet, and I'm already batting the bloody flies away."
"Dad, what are you doing today?" I asked.
"You better put some of that sunblock on Audrey, you can cancer from the sun you know? We can't go getting tanned anymore like it used to be, I saw it on a current affair...what scientists discover these days, mate I'll tell ya..."
"Dad! What are you doing?" I asked a second time. He was so excited to have us there, he was disorientated.
"Well, I was thinkin' me and young Kulick here can go get some fire wood for tonight from a bloke I know in the harbour."
"Dad, his name is Bruce."
"What do ya think mate? We'll pick up some seafood while we're there?" he asked Bruce, who just stood there amused.
"Sure," he laughed, graciously.
"Think a couple of kilos of prawns will do Aud?"
"Dad, why does Bruce have to go with you? I wanted us to spend the day together. I was going to show him the mountains, and the lake and ya know... Australia."
"Yeah. He'll get to see Australia. He can see the harbour. Down at the docks where we get the seafood, then old mate out at the gap where we get our wood."
"The harbour is disgusting! Dad, there's plenty of trees here, can't you just chop one down or something?"
"Hey Debbie!" my father waved, completely missing what I had just said.
"Aud, it's okay, really," Bruce reassured me.
"Look, I better go stop your mother from making those bloody awful salmon rissoles for tonight. I'll meet you back up there mate," Dad said, patting Bruce on the back before walking away.

"Why does everybody steal you from me?" I complained.
"I can list at least twelve good reasons," Bruce said, hugging me.
"He really loves you," I smiled.
"The main reason I think is because the guy...ah I mean bloke?..."
"No, honey, don't even attempt to pick up Aussie slang," I laughed.
"The guy he buys wood from is a KISS fan, and he thinks he might get it for free if he meets me," Bruce explained.
"Oh, that sounds like my father. He would pay a thousand dollars for a years supply of chicken." Bruce started laughing. "Seriously, he'd be so wrapped in the thought of getting something for "free" that he'd completely skim the knowledge that he is actually paying more than he normally would for something."
"Your family are colourful, I'll give you that," Bruce smiled, kissing me. "I'll see you later, okay?"
"I'll miss you," I said, then kissed him.

Later that afternoon my Mum, Dad, cousin Danny, Bruce and myself had a barbeque in the garden a few hours before the guests were to arrive for the engagement party.
My grandmother's home, where the party was held, was spectacular. I honestly believe it is the most beautiful place to live in the whole world. My nanna, before she passed away, lived quite a wealthy lifestyle, inherited by her parent's mattress manufacturing company. Her huge, modern house was built on a hill that over looked the valley one side, surrounded by acres of paddocks and bush land. Behind was a trail that led to a frequent, five minute walk to the beach, and the lake, only a short drive away. Because her land was left to my father and his brother, neither lived there permanently, but instead used it as a holiday home, or a place to hold parties. If I wasn't so afraid of being selfish, having the wedding in Australia, I would have wanted it there.

"Try some cake," I suggested to Bruce, passing him a plate.
"Alright," he agreed, not knowing that I had created it. My apple sponge cake specialty. Something that I could never figure out how to bake on a Fahrenheit oven. For that reason, my cooking is terrible anywhere but Australia.
"This is great," Bruce said with a mouthful of food.
"Aww thanks sweetie," I said, kissing him.
"You made this?" he asked surprised.
"Well, yeah."
"No way," he laughed.
"No, Bruce she did," my Mother said, seriously. She's always so serious.
"Aud, why don't you make this at home?" he asked.
"I can't. You know the whole oven story. Luckily, Eric, the drummer, knows how to fix ovens," I told my family with an innocent smile.
"I can't believe you're marrying a guy from KISS," Danny said, pouring beer into his mouth. " Geez I remember back when we were in high school. You wrote that you love Paul Stanley on all the desks ," he laughed.
"Paul huh?" Bruce asked, hugging me tighter.
" So... It was ages ago. I promise those feeling are gone!" I justified. Bruce just laughed. He turned his face away from me as he listened to my father talking, when I winked at Danny and whispered "Paul's still got it."

In the distance, I could hear the sounds of engines revving and dogs barking. "What's goin' on down there?" I asked my Dad. He and Danny stood up on their toes to see what was happening.
"It's that fucking arsehole again," Danny said.
"Danny! Watch your language," my mother chastised him.
"Who?" I asked.
"Bloody James Denby," Dad replied with a strong sense of anger.

James is the younger brother of my ex boyfriend Liam, the guy that put me through hell. James must have gotten word that I'd be around because he'd been harassing my family for a few days.

"That bloke better bloody piss off or I'll tell ya what..." my father muttered, walking down towards the paddock. With their beaten up utes, James and his friends met us before Dad could get too far.
"What the hell do you want?" Danny snapped.
"Hey, now Daniel, that's not very nice," James said with a freaky, calm tone to his voice. He looked and sounded so much like his brother, especially since he got older.
"Look mate, you're trespassing. If you don't fuck off, I'll call the bloody cops, you understand?" my Dad threatened.
"Settle down old guy. I thought this was supposed to be a fucking party, right fellas?" he said, getting nodding approval by his goons sitting in the back of his ute. They all clung onto a can of beer.
"James, get lost," I complained.
"Ohhh. She finally speaks. Look, if it isn't little miss Audrey Moore. Bitch finally decides to have the guts to show up after what she did."
"Who the hell do you think you are talking to her like that?" Bruce asked calmly, but strongly.
"Aye get a load of this wanker," one of the "apes" laughed.
"You wanna know who I am? Alright mate, I'll tell you who the fuck I am. I'm the man that has to deal with his brother being in prison. I'm the one that has a business to run by myself, okay? All because of this sheila right there," James yelled, pointing at me.
"Go cry about it," I snapped. "He deserves everything that has happened."
"You should be grateful that he's still alive. If I ever see him...." Bruce began to say. All three guys started laughing.
"That's it!" Danny yelled, throwing whatever he could at their vehicles. "You're not fucking laughing now!"
"Dan," my father said shaking his head. "Get the bloody gun."
And with that, they sped off, screaming insults as they did. "That arsehole won't know what hit him when I get him back," Danny threatened.
"Chill man, it's not that big of a deal, as long as they stay away," I tried to calm my extremely angry cousin down.
"It is a big deal Aud. Did you see they way they treated you...and Bruce? Next time I'll rip his goddamn head off. You're family! Both of you." I started to smile and Bruce put his arm around me. "The guys you used to date Aud...unbelievable" Danny said, shaking his head, walking back towards the house.

As much as a pain in the ass Sally can be, I gotta admit – she sure can organize a killer party! I was very surprised at how all my friends made it to my grandmother's home so easily. With a stunning view of the ocean, classic rock on the radio, and a hot Australian summer, the atmosphere was amazing!
I felt great which was surprising, given that I felt so sick the day before, and with the days added drama. I told Bruce that my teal dress was what made me feel better, there's nothing like a perfect fitting dress to skyrocket your mood. He didn't seem to understand.

“You look stunning, Aud," Paul smiled.
“Aww, thanks Paul. Of course, you look amazing too," I said as I sculled a glass of water.
“No drinking?” he asked.
“After Marie's Wedding, I promised myself no alcohol ever again. Sure I've broken that promise, but I think now is the time to stay true to my word”
Paul laughed. “Aw, well now who's gonna hit on Bob?” he joked. I looked to see Bob and my cousin Bev in deep conversation.
“I'm sure he'll be fine," I laughed.

Bruce joined us, looking a little bit concerned, but amused also. “Aud, your dad is smashed.”
“Bruce, if there's one thing to know about my father, it's that he'll always have a bottle of VB in his hand.” He laughed, and pulled me close to him.
“That's beer Paul," he clarified as Paul looked confused about what VB was.
“You're catching on to the Australian culture very quickly," I said, impressed. He laughed and kissed me. "Of course, we're not all drunks."
“No, I know. So um, when are you going to tell me what you did?”, Bruce asked, wrapping his arms around me from behind and pressing his face against mine.
"Bruce, I've told you so many times before. There is no need for anybody to know alright? I broke up with Liam, I moved to America. He went to jail, and now his little brother is pissed because I dumped Liam which caused him to do whatever it was that put him in prison," I explained, frustrated.
"No need to get moody now," he laughed, then kissed me. Of course, I was smiling again instantly.

It was great to see Marie having such a good time, trying to shoot bubbles out her nose. Since the baby, she hadn't had much time for social gatherings. She seemed very relaxed knowing that a bunch of my relatives were taking care of Mitchell – he kinda stole the attention away from Bruce and I that night. But nobody soaked up attention that night, quite like my father...

At dinner my Dad, intoxicated and full of social energy, decided it would be appropriate to give a speech. My mother did not look impressed.
“I just would like to say how proud I am of Audrey... She's beautiful, intelligent, so kind.... all of which she inherited from me of course!” he laughed at his own lame joke. Eric loved it. Bruce held my hand as we smiled at my sweet, but stupid father. “Since the day I met her, I knew she'd be a star... and now she's getting married.... to a ROCKSTAR!” he said with slurred words as he lost his balance.
“Ken! Enough!” my mother snapped, hoping to save us from embarrassment.
“No Lee, you've had enough! I'm sick of this bitching and nagging... just shut your bloody mouth woman!” he yelled.
I buried my face in my hands. “Oh, god, they've gotta do this now?” I asked, as Bruce hugged me.
“Kenniff! Sit down!” she ordered.
“No! You sit down!”
“I already am sitting down you stupid bastard! You're embarrassing your daughter!”
“Hear that Kulick? This is what you'd have to put with if Aud was like her mother... luckily she's a Moore like me!”
“Dad, for the fifth time call him by his first name – Bruce!”, I said, mortified by my parent's behaviour. Bruce didn't seem too worried, he actually found it funny.
“That's it! This is ridiculous! You do this every time!” my mother snapped, standing up.
“Well why don't you divorce me then? Go on!”
“Fine! We're getting a divorce!”
“Oh god," I said as I clenched my stomach. I was going to be sick again.

While Debbie tried to break up the fight between my parents, I raced to the bathroom. Bruce and Marie followed me, showing concern.
“Wow, I seriously thought your dad would be the first to puke," Marie, laughed as she helped me off the bathroom floor.
“This is the forth day in row where you've thrown up. I'm really worried about you Audrey,” Bruce said concerned.
“It's just stress," I said as a tear began to roll down my cheek.
"One minute it's food poisoning, then travelling and now stress? I'm really concerned about your health Aud," Bruce worried, hugging me, which was comforting. He made me feel so much better.
"Don't worry about me," I whispered.
“Ah, Bruce. Maybe you should go and check how Ken's doing?”Marie suggested.
“Umm.. Sure," he said then left. Marie shut the door.
“You're pregnant," she said.
“What? No! ... I'm not pregnant!” I said, hoping that was true.
“Well, it explains the sickness, the ankles, the mood swings...”
“Mood swings?” I asked.
“You cried last night because there were no olives on your pizza!”
“ I happen to love olives okay?” I justified, starting to fear the possibility that she was right. I couldn't think of any other reason why I'd feel so sick.
“There's a supermarket like 5 minutes away right?” I nodded. “Well, I can get you a pregnancy test if you want. We need to know!”
“Fine! I'll take the stupid test and prove you wrong!”, I said stubbornly.

Two hours later, Marie jumped at me, eagerly awaiting the result.
“So?” she asked. I just started crying. “Aw, honey, it's ok really! You're great with kids! You and Bruce will be great parents, I'm sure," she said as she wiped tears away from my eyes. “.... wait. It's Bruce's right?”
“I have no idea.” I tried to figure it out, but was too confused.
“When was the last time you were with Joe?”
“The same day I got back with Bruce.”
“Oh fuck....”, Marie said with worry.