Reason to Live

I ended my taxi ride home a block early for three reasons. One, the driver insisted on playing freaky Cuban music. Two, I was trying to save money. Three, I needed the fresh air after that kiss.
When I made it to my house, I was not at all surprised to see Billie’s and Debbie’s cars parked out front.

“Is it her?” Debbie asked when I opened the door.

“YES!” Holly screamed, running towards me. All three of them were jumping up and down in front of me, almost foaming at the mouth. And they thought I was crazy.

“Uh....hey guys. What’s up?” I asked, playing it cool. They stood there, staring and smiling madly, waiting for me to spill. I calmly walked past them, towards the stairs, as if nothing happened. Of course I couldn’t even make it up more than four steps before I snapped.

“I KISSED BRUCE KULICK!” I yelled, skipping up the rest of the stairs.

“Tell us everything Audrey!” Billie begged as they chased me into my bedroom. I effortlessly dropped onto my bed, smiling the whole time.

“Holy fuck, you had sex with him, didn’t you?” Holly asked, amazed.

“No,” I smiled. “Not yet anyway,” I said hopefully. I closed my eyes and ran my finger tips along my lips. I could still taste him.

“C’mon, we need details,” Debbie whinged.

“Why? You guys probably won’t believe me anyway,” I teased.

“I am so sorry! I swear I will always believe you , now and forever!” Billie promised.

“I don’t wanna be the kind of girl who kisses and tells. But I am,” I smiled, sitting up.
“He fucking kissed me!” I screamed, grabbing Debbie by the shirt and shaking her back and forth. I giggled insanely.

“You kissed him or he kissed you?” Billie asked.

“Who fucking cares, they kissed!” Holly exclaimed.

“Well, I risked a pathetic little peck on the lips. Oh that was embarrassing. But then out of nowhere, he grabbed me and gave me this soft, passionate...ohhhh,” I sighed.

“Soft, passionate...?” Debbie hinted that I continued. I closed my eyes and began to drift off, reliving it.

“Audrey?” Holly asked.

“Amazing kiss. The best I’ve ever had,” I whispered, before allowing myself to fall asleep.

For three weeks I lived in this dream-like state where I smiled at everything, and loved everything. Who knew a kiss could be that powerful? Holly even convinced me to give her my favourite pair of boots, something I would never have done as my usual self. It was either love, or I was going insane.
But at the end of those three weeks, reality sadly started to creep back to me. Work was a bitch, and our band was getting shit all over gig by gig. But the thing that upset me the most was that I hadn’t seen or heard from Bruce since he stuck his tongue down my throat.

Once again, I was back to square one. Getting dragged along to that sleazy club to play another show for those ungrateful losers. We started to attract less people, meaning that jerk Murray gave us less money than we deserved.

“Let’s talk about this issue,” Murray, proposed, leading us into his office.

“Yes, let’s,” Holly said bitterly. “You’re ripping us off man!”

“Ladies, let’s be civil about this. Can I offer you a drink?”

“No,” I said sternly.
“Ok. Look, It’s simple. This isn’t the Whiskey or whatever it is you kids want it to be. It’s a new wave kind of place. Play your loud music if you want, but you girls gotta start to show a bit more,” he suggested.

“How do you mean?” I asked.

“Well, Audrey. You claim to be a “flashy” guitarist right? How about you flash us a little more? Take a few more inches off your skirt. And Billie. Loose a few more buttons sweetheart. Use those luscious tits.”

“You Arsehole! If I take a few inches, there’d be nothing left of my skirt! You perverted pig!” I snapped.

I turned around to see Billie unbuttoning her top as asked. “Billie!” Debbie yelled. “We are a group of musicians, not prostitutes. Stop that!”

“Ok.” Holly said, shocking us all. She had the most guts out of us all, and she was caving in. “We’ll do what it takes.”

“What?” I whispered.

Holly dragged us out of the office. “Look, you all know how hard it was to get here. Clubs in this city don’t give a shit about us. If we lose this, we have nothing ok. So we’ll just have to suck it up. Nobody said it was easy,” Holly explained.

“But he’s walking all over us!” Debbie protested.

“Well, for the sake of this band ever getting anywhere, I say we deal with it. Until he starts demanding blow jobs, we just have to play our heart out and accept that we are yet to be something.”
Reluctantly, we agreed with her, and played our hearts out we did.
When we left the stage , there was screaming and excitement in the crowd, but not for us as we dreamed.

“Must be Vince Neil or something,” Debbie said, looking at the mass of people over the other side of the club.

“Or Audrey’s boyfriend,” Billie smiled, nudging me. I looked at her glumly, and she got the hint. Thinking about him was driving me insane.

The next morning I sadly woke up, ready for another painful day of work. My job sucked the little life out of me that I had left. I despised it.

“Working till 5?” Holly asked, when I made it to the kitchen, hunting down one last cup of coffee before I left. Her and Debbie were reading concert reviews to Billie in the paper.

“Yup,” I replied, not sounding too thrilled.

“Working nine to five, what a way to make a living,” they teased me with Dolly Parton lyrics.

“At least I have a job,” I said, a little coldly.

“Hey, rock and roll is my job,” Holly said proudly.

“No, arranging flowers on peoples graves is your job,” I reminded her.

“Ewwww! That’s your job?” Billie asked horrified.

“Do you even know who I am?” Holly asked her.

“Seriously? You work in a graveyard?”

“No you stupid bitch. I’m a florist,” Holly replied, storming out of the room, with Billie chasing after her. They were too different to get along all the time.

“So..” Debbie said while I slipped on my black stilettos. I knew what that meant. She was about to start about my love life again. “My cousin Jake is coming to visit this weekend.”

“Oh, that’s nice,’ I said.

“Yeah. He might need somebody to show him around Miami. Would you be interested?” she asked.

“Hmmm. Is he single?” I asked.

“Well, actually, yes he is.”

“Debbie, I know what you’re doing,” I said, tired.

“What?” she asked.

“Enough! No more Jakes or Joshes ok? I don’t care if they look like the lead singer of Van Halen, or that they are rocket scientists or whatever it be. I don’t care! I don’t need them!” I screamed. I think I may have let my true feelings become bottled up for too long on this issue.

“Audrey, you haven’t had sex in almost two years!” She screamed back.

“Dude, how are you still alive?” Holly asked, peering from around the corner.

“Thanks for letting the whole fucking state know!”

“I’m worried. You’re going crazy. You sit up all night watching music videos. You never date anyone. You’re afraid of relationships, it’s not normal.”

“That’s none of your fucking business ok? I do like someone, I’m not a total freak!”

“If that someone is Bruce Kulick, than you are beyond insane. He hasn’t talked to you in how long? Stop kidding yourself, It’s not going to happen. I wish it would Audrey, but It’s not. He’s a rock star.”

“I’m going to be late for work. Thanks,” I said sarcastically and slammed the door in her face.