So Far Away

I said ‘good-bye’ to Eugene and headed up the drive to the house.
At the front door, I began to ransack my backpack for my house key- but- I couldn’t find it.
I did a shake down of my pants, and any and all compartments where I could have put it, but all to no avail.

The last resort was the spare key that my Dad hid outside.
He wasn’t terribly keen on the idea of leaving a spare key out in the open for a potential intruder to find- but after turning up short-handed himself on numerous occasions- he felt it wasn’t such a bad idea after all.
He usually hid it in a not so obvious place, like in the only potted plant we have on the front porch.

I ‘inconspicuously’ groped the potted plant, only to find that the spare was not there.
I nearly tore apart the front porch, ‘inconspicuously’, before I had this desperate and wild preposition to attempt the front door.

I found that it was-in fact-open.

I hadn’t seen a car in the drive and I hadn’t seen a car on the street, but it was possible that I could have accidentally left the door open. It wouldn’t be the first time.
However, it was when I heard the TV and the sound of what could have been a beer bottle as it was set upon the coffee table.

I admit, that at this point I was nervous.
“Hello?”

I made for an umbrella in the hall closet near the front door.
“Dad?”

I would tread quietly and crane my neck around the doorframe; I could see a head of dark brown hair.
“Dad, is that you?”

“Not quite, kiddo.”

I nearly dropped the umbrella in my hand.
“Uncle Brian.”

I felt a wave of relief wash over me, but then I was hit with confusion.

“Well, don’t just stand there, and act like you’re not happy to see me.”
He didn’t bother to turn around, his eyes were still on the television screen- but he did make a gesture with a small wave of his hand.

I made for the La Z Boy by the end table across from Brian.

He took a sip from the Lion’s head beer, and before he placed it back on the table he reached for a coaster.
“Would you quit acting like you’re avoiding me! Now, come over here and say hello. I promise I wont pinch your cheeks.”

I smiled and as I shuffled toward Brian, I was engulfed in what he called a ‘bro-hug’, and gave me a noogie.
I made an attempt to free myself, but my feeble attempt proved futile and his arm began to constrict around my torso.
“Say it.”

“Let me go.”

“Say it.”

“Stop.”

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you over the sound of the television.”

“Uncle!”
Brian let go and I felt him smack my butt playfully as I found a seat beside him on the couch.
“So…”

“So…what.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I can’t drop by and see my nephew every once in a while?”

Usually, when ‘Uncle Brian’ dropped by it wasn’t usually to just ‘see’ anyone. There was always a reason.

“Where’s your car?”

“It’s in the body shop, your Dad gave me a lift.”
Dad, that was the key word, Dad.

I waited a moment before I reached for the Lion’s head on the table in hopes that Brian was too preoccupied with the ‘boob toob’ to notice- much less care, but before I could put it to my mouth, he yanked it out of my hand.
“Nice try.”

I put my feet up on the cushion between us, the soles of my shoes butted up against the denim of his Levi’s, secretly vengeful that the piece of gum I had stepped in earlier was still there.
“Did Dad let you in?”

“Is it always ’20 Questions’ with you, kid? I thought that age was over with.”
He hardly paid any mind to my cruddy shoes.
“But to answer your question, no. He didn’t have to. I let myself in- with the spare key in the flowerpot. Your Dad, always the clever one, with his ‘inconspicuous’ hiding spots.”

“You could at least commend him for not hiding it under the doormat.”
I had said that with a little more discontent than it initially warranted- but I didn’t see the harm.

“Would you cut the ‘tude, bro.”
This time around, he acknowledged the presence of my feet nearby and in turn gave a harsh flick to the bottom of my left shoe.
“And, don’t you mean ‘commend him for not hiding it on top of the doormat?”

I neglected to move my feet, but I pressed on.
“What are you talking about?”

“You left these on the door step.”
He reached into his back pocket and pulled out, low and behold, my house key and my garage door key.
They must have fallen from my pants pocket after my ‘run in with the law’ this morning, and I shut the front door.

I reached for the keys, but Brian dangled them up and out of my reach at the last second.
“Real mature, Brian.”

“Uncle Brian.”

“Whatever.”

“Hey!”
He grabbed hold of my arm just as I had begun to reach again for my set of keys.
He squeezed it- not hard- but enough that he knew would get my attention.
“What’s your deal, man?”

“What’s my deal? I should be asking you the same question. Honestly, what are you doing here?”

He turned off the TV, and scooted over to place my feet on his lap. He played a small beat on the bottoms of my shoes, before he turned to look at me.
“Your Dad asked me to come over because Gena, asked him to catch a movie later. After he was done at the studio, he originally planned to just meet up with her for a bite to eat. But, Gena suggested they make a night out of it.”

“So, you’re here to babysit?”
I asked incredulously; what on earth did I need a babysitter for- and that was when my mind went to places it should not wander.
“You’re here, in case Dad and Gena decide to get busy?!”

“E- ”

“Don’t, what? I’m not a baby any more; I know what a ‘mommy and daddy do when they love each other’; I may not be book-smart - I got a 47% on my chemistry test, actually, that I will need a parent to sign- “
I broke mid-sentence and pulled my feet out of Brian’s hands.

“E, don’t be like that.”

“Be like what? I may have had a hard time reading in the past- but I never had a problem reading people. I should have known better, he should have known better. He should have known better, than to send you here to get your hands dirty while he went on ahead to get dirty.”

I couldn’t believe my Dad would do that.
He didn’t even mention that he and Gena wanted to go out to dinner.

“Ian, he didn’t mean it like that. He just didn’t know how to tell you. He didn’t want-“

“He didn’t want to, what? Upset me? ‘Hurt my feelings’ because I wasn’t invited?“

I went back out in the near the front door where I dropped my school bag, and began to leaf around my papers.
When I found what I needed, I handed it to Brian.
“Here’s my test, make sure he gets it. I’ll be upstairs, in my room, doing homework- all night.”

I made my way to the stairs.

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Brian went home around 11:00 p.m., but before he did he ordered take out.
He didn’t bother with me for much of the evening, and only came up when there was food downstairs and for a “see you later.”

Dad was home by 12:30 a.m., I could hear the key in the door and sound of the dead bolt after he let himself in.
I was sure that Brian had called him, because he left me alone and went straight to bed.

I wasn’t exactly in the ‘talking mood’, so I was glad that I had been left be.
Tonight was one of the few nights all year that I actually managed to get all of my homework done in one night. That was something I seldom celebrated.

I routed through my desk, where I found an old Altoid container.
I wasn’t one for their mints, and it certainly wasn’t what I used their tins for.
My Dad used to be a two-pack-a-day smoker.
This past year he said he wanted to cut back, so I helped him out- by helping myself.
I didn’t have one often, but it was convenient.

I found the lighter in a coat pocket in one of my jackets on the floor.
I pulled up a chair by the window, and only for a moment, did I reconsider.
It wasn’t until I pulled a long drag, that I really didn’t give a damn whether my father were to walk right through my bedroom door that very second or not.

I felt like I had earned the right that cigarette.