I'll Have You Know I'm Scared to Death

We had an odd relationship. Not odd as in we were so different, we were more similar then most friendships, it was probably my fault that it was that way. Nobody questioned it, but myself. I mean there was nothing really wrong. Would you think something was up when you see two boys walking around the school campus? How about when one of them barely talks and the other is listening to music? Still nothing? How about the fact they do this everyday! Okay maybe that's normal, but what if they're clingier then the quiet one is with his girlfriend? And hey just for the hell of it, the one who listens to music hasn't had a girlfriend for a while and instigates the clinginess, is me?
This is all hypothetical here, though... Or is it.

Enter, me, Zack Merrick, age 16 smoker, okay-student and smartass. I was probably a normal fifteen year old, minus the smoking and being a little on the short side. I had my problems but so did everybody else. I kept mine more of a secret though. No one was to ever find out, it would be my utter destruction. And hey, did I mention I may have a slight homosexual crush on my best friend? Yeah go figure; my problems go further then... Ahem, I'll hold off on that.

I sigh closing my locker, "one more week," I mutter, "One more week and I can leave this hell hole for two months."

"Talking to yourself again, hmm, Merrick," Alex comments, his voice smug as usual. My heart flutters a bit. If you couldn't tell, Alex was my best friend, aka my crush.

"Shut up asshole," I retort, making eye contact and instantly regretting. It wasn't because his eyes were mesmerizing, because believe me they were. It was...

"I thought you were done with all that drug shit, Zee."

"I am."

"Bullshit. Your eyes are fucking red, you can't lie when I can fucking see it."

I growl defensively, it was times like this I wish I didn't love him so much. "It’s none of your business."

"Like fuck it is. You fucking promised me on my birthday, my fucking birthday, you'd quit. That you'd stop all of this and improve your grades so; you, me, and Taylor could get out of this town."

And there he goes mentioning that girl friend of his. She was his first and only girlfriend and after four months they were still in 'love'. Ewww. If she was pretty I would get why they were going out. She didn't even have a personality, only one of those crappy cookie cutter ones they sell for pennies at stores. And had a flatter chest then me, and that's not to emphasize a point, either.

I hate when he brings her up. First, she hates me, because I was his first kiss (a spin the bottle dare, but things got heated... We were sort of drunk. The first and last time Alex ever took more then a sip of alcohol.) And when ever he brings her up it's about how happy and wonderful their relationship is.

"Maybe I've given up on leaving this town. Let's face it I'm so stupid compared to you two and wouldn't get into any college. Why even try anymore."

Alex rolls his eyes, he wasn't one to take this much shit in one day let alone twenty minutes and left. I glare at the spot he occupied and grabbed all the stuff I had put in my locker out. I wasn't going to deal with school today. And besides, the drugs had given me a major headache and the munchies, anyway.

I walk out the front door ignoring the stares stabbing my back. I reach my car and drive to my house.

I first satisfy my hunger and take something to dull my headache. I strip down to my boxers and crank up the A.C, falling asleep in my bed.

I had a pretty nice dream, I was guessing it was the drugs though. They always gave me the best of dreams. Well besides wet dreams but those were few and far between, mostly because I felt so awkward after them... Yes, they are about Alex. I mean he had vibrant, bright brown eyes and dark brown, layered hair. He was beyond hot.

I rub the sleep from my eyes, followed by grabbing my phone, seeing a I had five missed texts.

Alex: hey u were here earlier where r u? I thought u were over skipping. Or were u serious about giving up?

Alex: look I'm srry 4 flipping on u. Text me back

Alex: seriously! You better not be getting fucking high again. I won't talk to you ever again.

Alex: Zachary Steven Merrick seriously ur worrying me. I'm gonna come 2 ur house if you don't text me back in the next hour.

Alex: on my way. Hope u no I had 2 cancel my date with Taylor 2 check on u.

"What the hell, he never texts this much." is all I can say to that. I slide my keypad out and type answers to each of his questions.

Zee: Im home. I was over skipping. No I wasn’t serious. I forgive u. Why do u always assume I'm getting high? Sry I didn't text u right away, I was sleeping.

I sent the text and get a response a few minutes later.

Alex: you fucker open ur damn door.

Just as I finish the last sentence, there's a knock at the door. I race down to open it; I grip the handle and slowly open the door. I'm half expecting it to be Taylor and her about to bitch slap me, the other half, Alex about to beat my ass.

I turn the handle to see a pair of arms wrap around my frame. The arms squeeze me tightly.

He pushes me away and stares into my eyes, quietly mumbling, "They're less red them they were before."

It pisses me off that he always jumps to that. "You know I do other things in my free time then just get high." I mumble into his shoulder... mostly, because I was that short. I breathe in the smell of his clothes.

"I know you don't. It's just whenever you do you get back into that shit, it always seem you do it so often before I intervene." he grabs my hands and leads me into the kitchen, "Now, since I had to cancel my date, make me food bitch." he slaps my ass and pushes me towards the refrigerator.

"What makes you think I’m going to make you food for checking on me?"

"Cuz I'm hungry and you love me. Now make me a sandwich woman before I beat you," he says sarcastically, sitting on a chair by the kitchen counter.

I laugh a bit, "Oh! Now let me go find my apron and bread so I can make you a sandwich."

"You better woman."

I roll my eyes and grab some bread. "You know I have a penis right?" I ask.

He laughs, "Haha right, sure you have a dick, that's really funny."

"Do I have to fucking show you, to get you to believe?"

He smirks, which confuses me, "Fuck ya! Strip now I wanna see those pants around your ankles!" he exclaims and looks at me expectantly.

I feel heat rise to my pale checks and shanks my head no. Mostly because it would be awkward and because I couldn’t let him see my legs, he’d see the-

He continues to laugh, "I know you wouldn't do it."

"No just admit it, you wanna see me naked."

He doesn't answer me and grabs the sandwich I had made and shove in
his oh-so attractive mouth.

I grab a chair and pull in up across from him, watching him eat. I didn't feel that weird watching him; I'd done it dozens of times before.

I got lost in thought about what that mouth could do. Alex cleared his throat, "Zee, you okay?"

I nod rubbing at my sleeve clad wrists, "Yeah, why?"

"You’re not talking and you always are."

"Eh, it must be from the drugs earlier." I mumble knowing he won't answer if I said that.

Just then his phone went off. I recognized the crappy bubblegum pop song as his girlfriend's.

I see him sigh but aren't sure if it's because he'd rather be with her and this is a terrible reminder or if he'd not want to have to hear her yell at him.

He answers the phone and puts it on speaker. "Hey Taylor, what's up sugar?"

"You know what's up." she snarls.

"Not really," he responds, "All I know is I cancelled our date."

"Yah, for you to go be your fagget of a friend, Zack. You know I hate him. Why can't you stop being friends with him anymore?"

Ouch that hurt.

Alex's eyes narrow at the statement, "I can be friends with who I want. And seriously, Tay 'fagget? Really? Are we 12 again? And he's not gay." he looks up at me, and smirks, "I mean with the sexy body I have I could make him like men, but that would make him bi."

He winks at me and I have to force myself to roll my eyes. There had to be something wrong with my head, to make me fall in love with him.

"I still don't want you to hang out with him." she grumbles, her voice sounding like a dog's growl.

"To fucking bad, now if you don't mind we're about to go have hawt, steamy gay butt sex." he says with a straight face that make me almost fall out of my seat.

"If you hang up on me we're thr-"*click*

He shrugs his shoulders and finishes up his sandwich.

I open my mouth to speak but he stops me, "she was a bitch anyway. Plus now it will keep all the girls who are after my dick away from me."

I nod deciding not to question his logic, it was the smarter idea.
His contorts to one of question, "Zee, come 'ere," his hands signaling for me to move.

I stand in front of him becoming confused. He reaches his hands out, "Come closer."

I obey and notice that when he sits down he's still about an inch taller then me. He grabs my hands and intertwined my fingers. I feel my heart thump and start to wonder, can he hear it, too? He brings out now locked hands up and investigates them. He pulls on my hands bring my body in-between his legs and I can feel my face burn red.

"w-what are you doing?" I stutter and he kisses the top of my hands.

He bites his lip as his face inches closer to mine tilting his head down, as our lips gracefully touch.

Was this really happening? Was I imagining? Or wait, was I still sleeping? That had to be it, my minds own cruel trick. But it wasn't I could feel that it wasn't.

His lips linger on my lips a few moments linger and then pull back quickly. His eyes are as wide a golf balls and his face is pale. He grabs his stuff and throws his backpack over his shoulder. He quickly departs and after I hear the door close do I finally speak having been too stunned to talk before.

"Wait... Don't go."