It's Time to Forget, but I'll Always Remember

This is me; Cadence. I'm fifteen years old; male; black hair, dark eyes, pale skin and a lifeless expression. I just don’t care anymore; what’s the point? I'm alone in this world now, but I wasn't always. My family were amazing and so were my friends, but I had to leave it all behind. Everything I loved I had to say goodbye to.

A few weeks ago I was adopted by a gay couple; Ciel and Sebastian; they’re my parents now and they have to look after me and my brother Grelle. I'm guessing that they have no idea how hard it is to look after traumatized kids like us. I know Grelle’s coping now but I'm certainly not.

So this is me now. This is my life. All I can do is make the most of it and hope my pain will heal. I know this is going to be hard but I think I can cope. I mean how hard can it be to settle into a new school? Apparently it’s a lot harder than I thought.

No one here likes me; what’s the point in even staying? It’s not like anyone will notice if I just walk out and never come back. Not one soul would miss me; that’s how important I am.

I’ve only just started here and I'm already known as the school outcast. The one you should stay away from. The person you’re told never to talk to. That’s me and to be honest with you I'm starting not to care. Sure people hurt me and wind me up but that’s not the part that bothers me. The bit I don’t like is the loneliness and the lack of people that are there for me to talk to. There’s only one person I trust and that’s my brother Grelle; too bad he’s never around when I need him. He tells me over and over that he has a life and shouldn’t have to take care of my problems, but other than him not always caring; he’s a pretty good big brother to me.

Grelle and I are total opposites though. He’s already settled in here and he’s even pushed his way into the ‘in crowd’. I don’t know how he does it. He’s so sociable that it’s sometimes kind of scary. I don’t understand how some people mix so well. It’s not that I'm unsociable it’s just that I had amazing friends at my old school and around where I used to live but I can’t see them anymore. I don’t want to get close to people in case I have to leave them again or they abandon me. I wouldn't be able to deal with something like that. Not after how hard it was for me last time.

People all over the field are watching me. I have no idea why. Maybe it’s just because I’m new and they’re trying to work out if they want to be nice to me or not. Or maybe it’s for different reasons; I don’t really know.

What if they’re all perverts? Oh my God! I’m at a school with aliens and then can smell human on me; does this mean they’re going to want to get rid of me?

They’re not aliens (idiot!) you’re just nervous and extremely paranoid right now. That’s it! Well, it might be.

I wouldn't say that I'm insane in any way, but I do have to occasional crazy moment or conversation with myself in my head... who doesn’t? We all do... right?

I grabbed hold of my bag and stood up from where I was sitting alone on the grass and headed towards the toilets. Something was telling me that it wouldn't be safe in there but I ignored that feeling and left it to paranoia.

But of course, you should always go with your first instincts.

As soon as I stepped foot in there, someone grabbed onto me and pushed me back against one of the cubicle doors. I was shaking everywhere. Why was he doing this to me?

“Look who we have here boys!” he smirked as he spat in my face and tightened his grip on my collar. “It’s the new boy,” he chuckled evilly.

“Sort him out Capper,” one of them hissed as the rest of his gang closed in around me.

What’s going on? I don’t need any of this. I didn’t come here for this. I don’t even deserve this; I don’t even have any idea who these guys are. How do they know that I'm new here? No one usually notices me.

Suddenly, the leader, who they were calling Capper, pushed me down onto the floor. I knew exactly how to defend myself. Quickly I curled into a ball for protection as I prepared to take the beating they were bound to give me.

I waited and waited for them to pounce on me but nothing happened. Maybe they’re trying to trick me. This might just be one of their games.

“Stay where you are and everything will be fine,” I whispered to myself trying to hold back the tears that were building due to the fear and shock that I had filling mu body.

If I don’t fall for it then their plan won’t work. I will have won this round. All I need to do is keep my head down. Everything will be fine. They can’t harm you if you stay like this.

After around ten minutes I heard the bell ring. If this is a trick they’ve been waiting pretty long for me to move. So I risked my health and looked out at the room around me. No one’s in here. Where did they go? When did they go? Why? I'm really confused now.

I stood up and brushed the dirt off myself that I got from the filthy toilet floors. Doesn’t anyone clean in here? It’s an absolute dump! Surely someone is meant to take care of things like that.

More lessons! Great! I really can’t be bothered right now. Actually; I won’t bother. They can’t make me learn and at this point I want to avoid contact with everyone. I need to keep my guard up from now on. There’s no way I want to be in that position again.

Weakness will be my downfall.