It's Time to Forget, but I'll Always Remember

“Since when?” Sebastian asked as he turned the tap on the sink.

“What?” I turned to him with a confused expression. He’s never seen me do it before so how could he possibly know?

“I can tell some of these are from a while ago”

I stayed silent and flinched a little as he pulled my arm under the water; it was freezing.

“Cadence” he called my name in a serious tone “Tell me”

It was funny because he sounded nearly exactly the same as Capper when he said that to me in school.

I felt the tears starting to sting my eyes again before they poured down my face. He turned to look at me and sighed.

“What the hell were you thinking? Do you actually realise how dangerous that is?”

“Of course I do” I grumbled under my breath.

“Well obviously not! Otherwise you wouldn’t even dream about doing it!” He clenched my arm tightly which made me whimper quietly. Sebastian didn’t usually act like this. He was the calmer of the two; he would only ever freak out if something really scared him.

Does that mean that what I did scared him? That he actually cared? Well, it sure would be a first. I mean the only other people who’ve genuinely ever cared about me are my parents and Grell. They were the only ones that understood me and I felt like I could never talk about my feeling to anyone but them.

He let go of my arm and grabbed my shoulders tightly before turning my whole body to face him. He gave me a long, hard stare; it almost seemed like he was angry but I couldn’t bear to gaze back at him while he was giving me that look. I gasped slightly when he pulled me quickly towards him and wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug.

“Don’t you ever do anything like that ever again, do you understand?” he whispered into my ear. I could feel his heart thumping fast against his chest but I could tell he was trying not to let on how shaken up he was.

But why? It’s not like it hurt or anything so he shouldn’t worry about that. And doing that is the only way to let out my emotions.

“If you need to talk about anything, anything at all; I swear me and Ciel are always going to be there for you”

Talking? I suppose I’d never tried talking to other people about my emotions, but what would that do? They’d all just laugh at me and call me pathetic so there was no real point to it anyway.

“I need to hear you promise me that Cadence”

What should I say? Should I just say “yes” and continue anyway? Well, if it would put his mind at ease I suppose I should.

“I promise” I murmured a little hoarsely. It wouldn’t have been as difficult to say if there wasn’t a huge lump in my throat.

He pulled away from me and now had a comforting smile on his face.

“You know I do worry about you sometimes. All you ever do is stay in your room; you never go out anywhere” he said as he turned to one of the high up cupboards and grabbed a deep orangey coloured flannel out.

Well there isn’t really much to do around here anyway.

“I j-just take awhile to settle down. I feel safer in here anyway” I stuttered.

He turned back to me and started dabbing the wound. The blood had stopped running by now but the skin around the cut was still fairly tender.

He wiped it gently and an uncomfortable silence fell between us.

“Ciel told me about how you bunked off school today”

Damn it, I was hoping I could try to hide it a little longer.

“You know you can’t just leave whenever you want”

He was speaking seriously to me but he still had a small smile on his face; it always made it difficult to determine when he was being serious and when he wasn’t too bothered…which was most of the time. Sebastian was quite a laid-back person, but he always knew just what to do and say.

“Why not? I had good reason to” I said defiantly

He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye and heaved another sigh.

“You thought it would be easy?” he put down the cloth and turned the tap off.

“If you thought starting a new school was going to be a walk in the park then you got it all wrong” He grabbed a towel of the radiator and began dabbing the cut with it.

“Wherever you go people are looking for others with different opinions, looks, abilities, all sorts of things so that can compare themselves and there will always be people out there who will make fun of you for being different to them. That doesn’t mean that you should stop being who you are just because someone calls you weird for it or doesn’t agree with you, right?”

He gets so philosophical sometimes; I didn’t mind though, I usually found it quite interesting. He always managed to put his point across and would tell you what he thought whether you wanted to hear it or not.

“I suppose” I muttered.

“Right! So there’s no point in getting worked up about something like that. If you’d go so far as to change who you are just because people call you different would mean that you lost your individuality and would just make you a sheep. It would also mean that you found it difficult to truly understand yourself and know who you are if you were that desperate to want to gain the approval of other people that you’d change your identity. It’d make you that very person who was calling you weird, and to be honest, I don’t want a son like that now do I?”

Sometimes he got so into what he was saying he didn’t really think about other people’s feelings. It kind of annoyed me when he called me his son. I know he's adopted me but it doesn't feel right when he calls me that. Was he was saying he didn’t want a son like me? Well, he meant good I suppose.

“Yeah. Thanks Sebastian” I said. That had actually cheered me up a little.

“No problem” he smiled before checking his watch “Have to go make tea now. If you don’t mind I’d like you to stay downstairs for a while”

What?

“Why?”

“I asked you to promise me that you would stop yourself from doing something stupid again. I know when you’re lying to me Cadence”

Damn it, he can always see right through me. At least I didn’t have any homework seeing as it was my first day so I’ll just watch T.V I suppose.

“Yeah, okay” I grumbled.

“You know I’m going to have to tell Ciel about this” he sighed.

What!? Why!? Why would he do that? Does he want me to get an ear load?

“Do you have to?” I whined.

“You’re not going to be able to wear long sleeved tops for the rest of your life” he laughed
“I could try” I muttered.

“Come on then” he held the door open for me and motioned me to walk out.

This was going to be a boring evening.