Too Far Gone

Grant felt himself gently fall into his bed at the hospital, and even though he wasn’t there, he knew Acendence had gone. Grant turned over in his bed to look at his clock. The clock was turned away from him so that he couldn’t see. When Grant reached out to turn it around to face him he saw something on his hand that he never expected to see. A closer look would reveal a few small white scars on both hands. Grant looked down at his hands and tears filled his eyes.
“Grant, Grant are you awake?” Ara called through his door knocking gently.
“Yes, I’m awake, you can come in Ara.” Grant called to her. The door slowly swung open and Ara stood in the door way staring at Grant who was sitting up in bed smiling from ear to ear.
“Sweet dreams I presume?” Ara asked slightly shocked at Grant’s smiling seeing as how just last night he was sobbing.
“Not really.” Grant said bluntly, and almost laughing.
“Oh-Kay” Ara spoke with a hint of skepticism as she walked over and let herself fall into the chair next to his bed. “Oh, I almost forgot what I came in here for. You got a letter today; it’s from your mom.” Ara said handing Grant the envelope. Grant took the envelope and nervously opened it. Before reading it Grant closed his eyes and breathed deeply. Letting go all of his fears he opened his eyes and began to read.

Dear Grant,
I’m sorry I haven’t come to see you in a while, but I’ve been busy with lawyers and court dates and things like that. I’m writing this basically to tell you what happened after you were taken to the hospital. Your father was taken to the police station and charged with as many things as they could stick him with: assault, abuse, neglect, child abuse, and attempted murder; I even had to get a lawyer. They went to court yesterday and found him guilty on all charges. I was so frightened to be in that courtroom with him. It was then I realized how brave you were at the house and how much you really did love that girl. I really want to tell you how sorry I am for the way I acted. She didn’t deserve what happened to her. Her funeral was Thursday. I was invited to go, I wasn’t going to go, it didn’t feel right; but I knew you would have wanted me to go, for you. I’m so sorry you weren’t able to be there it was beautiful. There were flowers everywhere, and so many people showed up to say goodbye. They laid her to rest in the same cemetery that your grandfather is buried in. That moment made me realize that we all are connected and I’m just some insignificant tool in a bigger spectrum. I wish I had been able to see that before all of this happened. I know now that I should have been a better mother to you, and if you’re willing I’d like for us to try it again. Well, that’s pretty much it. Just know that I love you more than anything and I promise I will do my best to be a better mother to you. I’ll do anything, just for you to come back and be with me.

Love,
MOM

After Grant had finished reading he looked up at Ara and smiled. He felt as though all of the loose ends in his past were finally coming together; there was only one last thing to do.
“What are you smiling at?” Ara asked confused at how a letter in a hospital could make someone smile so much.
“Will you come somewhere with me this afternoon?” Grant asked there was a twinkle in his eyes. Ara was nervous at what might happen if she said yes, but she knew she liked Grant way too much to say no.
“I’m getting out of the hospital this afternoon.” Ara said quietly. She looked at Grant confused.
“So am I, it’s perfect, right after we get out, will you please go with me.” Grant begged looking desperate.
“Where?” Ara asked.
“You’ll see when we get there. Just promise me you’ll come.” Grant spoke urgently taking her hand in his. Ara had to force herself not to gasp, she definitely wasn’t expecting this. Ara blushed madly and just nodded silently.
“Great, I need to finish packing before noon though.” Grant said looking at his almost empty bag that was sitting in the corner.
“So do I, I haven’t even started.” Ara admitted as they both stood up hands still together. There was a moment of awkward silence; they both blush and quickly pulled their hands apart muttering nervous see-you-later’s.
By 11:30 Grant had finished packing and was downstairs waiting for Ara. Back in his room there was nothing left but an empty bed, a TV that was turned off, and a chest of almost empty drawers. The only things left were in the third drawer; there were a pair of striped socks, a silver tongue ring, and a pair of spider earrings.
Ara walked out of her room at 11:45. When she closed the door on that dark hospital room she also closed the door on her dark and painful past. Ara knew now that she had met Grant she would never long to be back in that hospital room.
“Got everything?” Ara asked when she saw Grant as she stepped off the elevator.
“No.” Grant said simply, and Ara just seemed to know that that statement required no questions. “Ok, you ready to go?” Grant asked her.
“You know I really think I am.” Ara told him as they walked side by side out of the hospital doors down the street.
“Don’t worry it’s not too far.” Grant told Ara as they continued walking down the street. They walked together for about seven blocks when they reached a wrought iron gate Grant began to walk through it. Ara read the sign on the gate and hesitated before she followed Grant in. The sign on the gate read, “Green Valleys Cemetery”.
Grant wandered around searching tombstones for a while before finally finding the one he was looking for and then he beckoned Ara over.
“This is it.” Grant told her kneeling down in front of the tombstone that was surrounded by a flood of gorgeous flowers.
“Acendence Gray Carter; Loving Daughter and Loyal Friend. 1990-2008. Oh, Grant is this, her?” Ara asked tears filling her eyes. Grant nodded trying not to cry.
“Can I have a minute, you know to say goodbye?” Grant asked Ara softly. She nodded and walked back to the path they had used to get there.
“So I guess this is it.” Grant whispered as he slowly took off the necklace he wore everywhere he went; the one with Acendence’s charm bracelet on it. Grant carefully unhooked the necklace and let the bracelet slide smoothly off of the chain and fall into his hand. As he set the charm bracelet on top of Acendence’s tombstone he spoke quietly to her.
“Acendence I will always love you, but with your help I won’t always be in love with you. Goodbye Acendence.” Grant whispered as he stood up and wiped the dirt from the knees of his jeans.
Grant jogged over to where Ara was standing, waiting for him. He laced his fingers with hers and they began to walk down the path towards the gate. When they reached it Grant walked out without hesitating or looking back. Grant knew that he had finally let it go, and Acendence would always be gone, but she would never be too far away.