Not That Far From A Star

That day, I'll never forget because I met the amazing Andy Lipshaw, or as everyone else knows him as is 'Angel'. It's the name every civilian calls him when they see him flying around, with his enormous white wings. He's also earned this so called superhero-name from helping around town with all the crime and such. It's quite amazing that he gives up his time to randomly help people he doesn't know and probably will never see again in his entire life.

It's suprising to see him this way since he's sobered up thanks to me, I think. He was so screwed up on different things and I guess when we started talking it did something. One night when we we're walking along the beach at midnight, gazing at the stars, feeling the cool ocean waves brush against our legs, he called me his little antidote. Weird, right? To be called an antidote, but the way he said, the way he gazed into my eyes, I couldn't explain it. I felt like, I was something treasured. Like I actually helped without trying.

Everyone looks at this beautiful man and see's him as a superhero, not scared of death, not ashamed of anything, not a frightful bone his toned tall body. Well, what they don't know, I do. I know everything even if he doesn't have to tell me, I can see it.

I know the scared, worried, paranoid, loving Andy 'Angel' Lipshaw.

The day he asked to see me again, of course we did, we became...whats a word? Close? Really close actually. I know just about everything Andy Lipshaw tells me and tried to hide from me. Of course in return, he can read me like a freaking open book on everything. It's crazy. Sometimes, he'll even finish my sentences because he knows it drives me nuts when he won't let me talk. Great...! I'm making it sound like we're an old married couple. I think I've finally hit the insane box.

When he finally decided to tell me what he was, he figured I'd be afraid of him and have nothing to do with him. Well boy, he was wrong. I already assumed there was something special, majorly different with him. It's something I grew to love about him honestly. I was in shock of course when he said 'Angel' and showed me the wings, but I was no where near in fear. I saw this man more of a gift than any terror or harm against me. Now that I think about it, maybe that was the reason of why we clicked so quickly.

Our lives have changed in ways I never would have even thought of a while back, thanks to my own little personal guardian. When we met, I remember being on the verge of losing everything. I was losing everything I owned after already losing the only family I had. I was even debating on shedding my own life with the damned cancer packs. Which now as I stand today, I haven't picked up a single one of those cancer sticks up since the day we met, when he touched my soft skin with his rough fingers.

It's been a year and three months today actually that I met this gorgeous but riskful man that was so lost from his past. We gradually came together as we saw each other everyday since then, of course. Maybe it was fate; I don't personally care if destiny had anything to do with it at this very moment. I am very thankful though for whatever reason God sentenced my guardian down here to Earth for, I graciously thank him for all of it. Every moment, experince, and memory I have with him.

I gazed out of my window watching as the ocean took in the sun, meeting it halfway already. I noticed the spectacular beauty of the ball of fire line uup with the clam blue ocean gently. I set my book down gently not to wake Andy from his sleep that he finally resided in for the past week. I grab my camera and walk to the opened window feeling the slight breeze. I breathe in the crisp air as I focus my camera lens to the extravagent sunset. The camera clicks a few time at the view.

I set my camera agaisnt my lower stomach at it hangs gently around my neck. I feel the breeze sway me side to side as I soak the fire from the sun into my chilled skin. I sit upon the window seal while my feet dangle almost sixty feet above the quiet sand near the calm beach. I close my eyes imagining that I'm flying with Andy over the clouds again; soundless and peaceful.

I open my eyes to the sunset again watching the glowing fire fall gently to sleep against the dark blue ocean. It reminds me of Andy in many ways. It's just so surreal. The fire of the sun is his happiness and passion for everything: his bound heart to Heaven and God, his security for me and practically all living things, his passion for God letting him live again 'almost' normal, but then the darkness swarms.

The dark blue ocean is gently and raging like his lost memories that God had returned to him. His guilt for his betrayal to his Holy Father, his so-called brother he doomed to Hell, he fear of losing everything and ending up at flat bottom.

His memories flood his mind and when he hurts with so much pain, it scares me. I sit there quiet and patient when he has his nightmares because there's nothing I can do for him but try to wake him which is hard enough as it is. The way he describes his nightmares, says they're his lost memories, it's like he lives them. Say if he we're to fall and scrape his knee, it would actually happen while he was sleeping out here, with me.

He's told of them before, the nightmares, there some of the best moments he remembers but then they turn horrid. He says as a child he remembers the gentle kisses on his cheek from his mother, the strong hold of his fathers hugs, his laughter with his best friend that he rejoined in Heaven and doomed, and his lost love. He says they all start out perfect then everything turnes black, evil. When these nightmares happen, I have to wake him up as fast as I can, if I can. It's not easy waking an angel up, even if they can sense everything and anything, when Andy is asleep and in it deep, I have to do everything.

I watch as the night sky takes over with a sparkling gaze from pink to purple to deep blue to match the ocean. Andy's still practically an angel. We can't figure out why God would send him to Earth with most of his angel powers still but he's suppose to be on punishment. He likes it either way, though he's has to adapt to some new things.

For instance he says I "intrigue' with him my human ways, but he's come around. He dresses, acts, and even talks more like the guys around here now. You could put him in a crowd of cocky ass holes and couldn't tell the difference between any of them. He could talk to anyone and no one would notice anything but he still chooses to be a mute around people except me. I don't understand but it's a choice I won't poke around him with.

He says he's afraid it might ruin something he has right now, which as he says is perfect. I agree to a point. Obviouslly I mean we have each other, I guess I admit I'm a little paranoid, maybe even scared. I don't want to lose one of the best things I have right now and that all goes to Andy. I always told myself that I would never subdue under any man and be completely un-independent. Well, that went out the freaking window when I met him. I mean, he rely's more on me with financial aid and stuff, but he's the one I cling to when I'm falling into my dark hole.

I stare up into the gorgeous now deep purple sky, gazing at my one star that I've always considered as mine and only mine. I've never lost it. It's been the one thing that kept me sane before I met Andy, even through highschool when things would get stressful, I would come home to stress more, then when night fell I would look out my window and watch my star.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath not believeing that I'm returning to my younger actions. "God, if you're there or really even listening, I've actually got something I have to get off my chest. I'm not sure why you've sent Andy, that's a reason all to your own, but I do thank you. I thank you for what a gift you've sent me and helping me out of my dark hole. If he's suppose to be here, thank you so much. If this was a gift to help remind me of how close we use to be, I wouldn't have picked anything any better. Someday I know you'll forgive his heart and mistaken judgement and on that day, I honestly hope it's as far as possible. It's arrogant and conceited, but I'm in love with my Guardian Angel. Please, I beg of you, watch over us."

I open my eyes and swallow hard at how hard that was to actually admit out loud. It seems more real after said than just thinking it in my head.

As I'm about to move from the windo seal, I feel warm arms wrap around me and tightly squeeze but it's not uncomfortable. I glance to my left and see Andy's aubrun hair lay messy around his sleepy face.
"What are you doing up? Go back to sleep. You haven't even been out ofr more thank 3 hours." I say nudging his bare chest as it leans against my cold arm. I look back out into the night sky as he kisses my neck sweetly. "I guess you heard all that lovely speach didn't you?" I question dumbly. Of course he heard it or he wouldn't be up holding me at the moment.

He nods into my neck and continues to kiss down my shoulder and back up to my left ear slowly. I move my neck a little to the adjustment. "It's true, all of it." I whisper loud enough for him to hear. He stops kissing my neck but stay's in his posistion against my neck. I feel his warm breath radiating my now cold body.

All of a sudden I'm in his arms bridal style moving over to our bed. He lays me down and then lays himself on top of me like he always does. He stares down inot my eyes, like he's searching for something but not being able to find it. Our faces are just inches apart as he stares at me while I'm scanning every inch of his face. Moving my palms against his slight stuble on his jaw line starting.

"I never doubted it Lea." He finally speaks sweetly, of course with his smirk plastered right on his face. I smile up at him as I pull him down to my lips to end the space between us finally. The kiss slowly melts me under his touch and I shiver earning another smirk from Andy in between our kiss. As the kiss starts to intense more and more, Andy stops us for a moment, looking down in my eyes. Oh, not this again, please not this again. I glance at him while he stares and of course, I'm blushing like crazy. I turn my gaze away from him to try and hide my red cheeks from him as best as possible but fail miserably. He starts to kiss my exposed neck to him and I wrap my arms around him as he continues. I feel him mumble something against my neck and automatically take his face inbetween my hands.

"What did you say?" I question shocked as to what I thought he just said. He chuckles at my sudden outburst from his words. He smirks and kisses my lips after each word repeated. "I" -peck- "said" -peck 'I'm" -peck- "Falling" -peck- "in" -peck "love" -peck- "with" -peck- "you". After the last word, he holds our kiss forever and I can feel the warmth from his words flooding into my body everywhere. I can feel the love. I press against his lips fiercely before breaking it. "I already love you." I answer quickly before I attach our lips again, slowly making our way around the bed, clothes being thrown off everywhere on the floor.

I love him; if he belongs, leave him be.