Walls.

Two days had passed since Brendon’s phone call from home. The weather was warm. It wasn’t humid, nor was it windy. It was just a still, warm, summer day. This was why Brendon didn’t stay inside, he couldn’t lock himself up physically the way he did mentally. So along side the street he walked, wearing black skinny jeans and a dark red v-neck. There was no real reason for him to be walking around, wandering really. It was just in his mood.

He stopped in the stores he passed that looked interesting, making sure to check in on the music store a few blocks away from his apartment. It was a quick stop, so he entered and started checking the stock of CDs. They didn’t have anything he wanted or that he didn’t already have…

As his fingers skimmed over the little square cases, a song played over Brendon’s head. One so familiar to him that it made his stomach churn. He didn’t know why....

“Keeping me awake, it's been like this now for days. My heart is out at sea, my head’s all over the place. I'm loosing sense of time and everything tastes the same…”

A sudden cloud shifted over him and he rushed to leave the store. In the corner of his eye he saw the guy behind the counter look up at him, but it didn’t matter as long as he couldn’t hear that song anymore. He pushed the door open and was hit in the face with the warm, still, summer air. It didn’t help at all.

The only thing that helped was the sound of cars on the street, the rubber against the pavement, the continual swooshing… It was the closest thing he could get to the calm waves of the ocean’s tide. So he settled for it, as he usually did with different things in his life. He was happy with what he had, even if it wasn’t what he wanted…

Then the nauseous feeling crept over him again when he thought of the waves at sea. The song’s lyrics instantly caught in his head. My heart is out at sea, my head’s all over the place.

It just wouldn’t pass and he couldn’t understand what it could be. It just hurt, something hurt so much he felt- A sudden burning rose up his throat and he moved for the trash can he was luckily standing close to. Bent over and gripping the side, he heaved. His breathing was hard and his eyes were clenched shut, a tighter grip on the rim of the trash can than before. After a moment, he stood up straight and looked around while he wiped the saliva from his lips.

No one had particularly stopped to watch him puke up his guts, or if they did they called him disgusting in their heads and went on their merry day. So Brendon shrugged the whole feeling off, wanting to walk just so he wouldn’t be there anymore.

About a block later, Brendon’s phone rang. He didn’t notice because he was caught in a thoughtless, mindless, walking motion on the sidewalk. He turned himself on autopilot, an easier task to do than to figure out what had bothered him about the song. He couldn’t be bothered with finding out the truth anymore, lying to himself was just so much nicer.

Distraction was a nice way to go through life, he had to admit. That was until he crossed a street with a green light that had cars still driving through the intersection… He walked right in front of a car as it veered around him, the driver slamming his hand down on the horn. The man didn’t expect the boy to keep on walking, and luckily missed hitting him. That sure made him more cautious the rest of the day.

Brendon spun around in a dazed shock, scared and confused melting together in a thick coating. The car was all of 3 inches away from him, he was only 3 inches away from the car. Instantly he fell backwards, as if he had been hit by some force; Realization.

He just sat there wondering how pathetic he looked to anyone who glanced in his direction to notice him. After a few more minutes he took to calm himself down, he pulled himself together and stood up. He ran his hands through his hair, the habit he for when he was nervous or anxious.

It might seems Brendon’s life was full of crazy, little, overwhelming incidents, but it wasn't. Something was off… It was like these were all omens of something.

He noticed his shadow has lengthened in the time between his mindless walking… and… Brendon pulled his cellular phone out to check the time, it was the quickest way. That’s when he saw the missed call. He expected it to be his mother since he was going to have to start driving to her house just after he had lunch the following day, but it wasn’t.

It was some unfamiliar number. Brendon squinted his eyes at the screen, trying to figure out whether or not he could recognize the number. Nothing came to mind, so he just shut the phone and looked around. He had walked pretty far in the time he had spent outside, so he turned around and retraced his steps. It was time to go home, pack, and sleep.

Sleep was something he desperately needed. He didn’t realize that until he let himself fall into his mattress. The comforting feeling of it’s warmth made him feel safe… Through the window on the same wall as his headboard he could see the moon. It was full and shined as brightly as ever. Maybe today wasn’t such a bad day, that was his reassurance as he felt the moon’s smile on him. He smiled back at her and closed his eyes.

His buzzing thoughts slowly thinned out, letting him drift away into the nothingness. It could be peaceful and in a way it was peaceful, at least until the door unlocked itself and flooded his mind in his sleep.

Now there was no way to defend himself, he couldn’t swim in his sleep. He’d drown. His bothered sleep always proved to him no matter how safe he ever felt, he wouldn’t be; couldn’t ever be. Never.