There's a Ghost in This Room, I Think I'll Name It After All of You

AVERY

I didn’t know where to go after I bolted. I just ran and ran until I got tired but even my weariness didn’t give me a chance to slow down. Somehow, I wanted my lungs to burn and I wanted to feel so much pain because I thought I deserved it all. Everything around me seemed like it was closing in on me as soon as I tried to take a breath. Darkness followed and I got that feeling that everything was going to be okay because I was finally getting out of this world. My lungs started to collapse and all of a sudden, everything just started malfunctioning. I wasn’t aware of anything. I mean how can I be aware of what’s going on around me with my eyes shut? I thought it was the end for me. I thought that life was trying to hand me a favor by going away but my eyes soon opened once again.

I saw a brown-haired man with glasses on staring right back at me with a flashlight. I was still alive – still living the nightmare I wanted nothing more to do with.

“Excuse me Miss, can you tell me what your name is?” he asked writing some things on his clipboard.

“It’s Avery,” I said rubbing my eyes.

“And how old are you?” he questioned. I believe he was testing me. I didn’t happen to hit my head against something now, did I?

“I’m 20 years old.” I squinted against the brightness of the white walls that surrounded me.

“Okay, your memory seems to be intact,” he muttered as he scribbled down a few more things on his clipboard. “A little fun fact: you’ve been out for about three days so you might be feeling a little hungry. We laid out a couple of things for you by your bedside table so if you ever feel hungry, you just grab a bite from there,” he told me in the most enthusiastic tone.

“You guys haven’t contacted anyone I might know, have you?” I asked feeling all nervous and nauseous once again.

The doctor nodded but looked at me in a very puzzled manner. “Miss, are you okay?” he asked coming over to where I was situated. “You’re looking a little green.” He grabbed a basin from a cabinet and held it against me.

Once I couldn’t hold it in anymore, I puked into it. It’s weird that I had something to put of the system when nothing’s been it for quite a while. That surely got the doctor’s attention.

“You haven’t eaten in three days,” he said amazed. “You’re not pregnant, are you?”

“You’re the doctor,” I snapped, “you tell me.”

I really didn’t mean to get all cranky like that but I guess that’s what hormones do. Wait just a sec, why am I being so calm about all of this? I should be freaking out. I mean I’m pregnant at 20 and I don’t have any money or even a job to feed the baby when it comes out nine months from now. What am I gonna do? Should I even keep the baby? This is supposed to the point in my life where I stand and try to reflect on all the things I could’ve done differently so I wouldn’t have to face this kind of consequence but instead, I didn’t do anything at all. I’m just laying here as if nothing went wrong. How in the world am I even open to this kind of thing? I never planned this out and a baby? Seriously? I can’t handle all this.

“Do you want us to call anyone? Like your parents or a sibling maybe?” the doctor inquired. I noticed that he really did want to snap right back at me but being a professional, he knew how to stretch his patience in situations like these.

“Look, I’m sorry for being so cranky. I don’t even get it myself but right now, I don’t think anyone wants to speak to me and I don’t live here so my parents won’t be able to come visit or anything like that,” I said nonchalantly as I exhaled deeply. I stared at the ceiling hoping that it would give me a little faith in the situation. I mean maybe there’s another reason for nausea. Maybe this is just a pregnancy scare or something like that.

“Well, we sorta contacted a few people on your call log but we couldn’t find your parents’ cell phone numbers,” he said and all of a sudden, I shot up like a bolt of thunder.

“Who exactly did you call?” I asked skeptically hoping that they didn’t try to contact the guys.

I secretly hoped that they had tried to call Dallas because out of all the people in the world, she was the one I needed. She was the one who I wanted to see at this hour. I mean I’ve been out for three days and I don’t know but wouldn’t the guys wonder where I might be? Oh what am I thinking? Of course they wouldn’t.

I was rethinking the whole visiting-me-in-the-hospital-because-they-cared scenario was such bullshit but suddenly, a knock on the door was heard. I turned my head to the side and saw Zack and Dallas together. I won’t say that I wasn’t jealous that they had come together but envying their partnership was the last thing on my mind right now.

Part of me wanted to jump out the window so I wouldn’t have to face anyone anymore but the other half of me was glad that there was someone there at the door hoping to see me.

The doctor left us discreetly and I started to nibble on my bottom lip – a nervous habit that I couldn’t seem to get rid of. Dallas had tears in her eyes the moment she came in the room but they fell only when she was walking towards me. She placed a hand on my cheek as she held me in her arms.

I didn’t know what to say or do. I was stuck in position just like a statue but unknowingly, my hands started to move. They found their way around Dallas’ small frame. I was happy for a second. I mean she wasn’t mad at me. She didn’t seem to hate me at all. It was as if she was back to her old self. I didn’t know what it was but it made me feel like I could trust her again. As if nothing ever happened between us and that Mona girl never wedged us apart.

“Dallas, I’m so sorry,” I whispered since I wasn’t able to find my voice.

She didn’t respond. All she did was retreat. She nudged Zack towards me and he closed in on me reluctantly. I knew that he’d never be able to forgive me for what I did but I really don’t blame him at all. He could treat me like I was garbage for all I cared. I didn’t deserve to be treated like a human because what I did was nothing but trashy.

He grabbed a stool that and placed it right beside my bed. He looked really tired to the point where there were bags under his eyes. He played with my hair a little before he said anything. “I don’t want you to leave,” he told me sincerely as he stared intently into my eyes.

“I don’t understand,” I said feeling a little perplexed about the whole situation. “You’re supposed to hate me.” My voice was getting a little hoarse and I really didn’t want to have to start sobbing but I did. Damn you, hormones.

“I don’t care about what happened. Alex explained everything,” he mentioned calmly.

I looked at Dallas who was sitting on a couch watching us. She gave me a small smile before staring back at her phone. She must’ve been texting someone to distract herself.

“What do you mean Alex explained everything?” I asked very surprised by the revelation.

“He told me that he took advantage of you, that it was all his fault and that if I were to be angry at someone, I shouldn’t be pointing my finger at you,” he informed.

“B-but that’s not true,” I couldn’t lie about this. Alex wasn’t the only one that was in for the blame. I mean I might have been drunk as shit when I had sex with him but wasn’t I responsible as well?

Before I could say anything else the doctor came back. He held a very distressed look on his face that told me something urgent was up. He asked both Dallas and Zack to leave the room for a while and made me speak with him in private.

“Avery, I checked your blood work and the results just got in,” he told me in all seriousness. “You’re pregnant,”

And right there, I could feel my whole world crashing down on me. What am I to do now?