Let the Walls Break Down

Josh noticed my jealousy toward Ky and decided to let me live out my childish dreams and take me to Disneyland. Kylee and Todd were coming home in three days so this past week Josh and I have just got to hang out with each other and after work we kind of just picked up where we left off. But today Josh showed up at my house with one day tickets to Disneyland!

I was beyond excited! This entire morning Joshie wouldn’t let me have any Red Bull, he told me I didn’t need any more energy. We were now walking down main street and I told him that we have to go on the Nemo submarines first and then the Indiana Jones ride. Josh didn’t really care, he told me he’d do whatever I wanted.

”NEMO!” I yelled once we got to the front of the line and Josh snickered while the Disneyland worker stared at me like I was crazywhich I was.

When we got in the submarines I was oohing and ahing at all the Nemo things they put underwater and when the ride ended I didn’t really want to get off but I was forced too. We next went on Indiana Jones then I asked Josh what he wanted to do.

“I don’t care, I’ll do whatever you want to do,” he sweetly told me.

“Josh just tell me one thing you want to go on,” I asked him.

“nuh-uh,” he said as he crossed his arms in front of his chest. An idea then popped into my head. I passionately pressed my lips up to his and then pulled away and left him wanting more.

“California screamin’,” he mumbled as he pushed his lips back to mine. Once we finally separated he laced our fingers together as we walked toward California Adventures.

Once we got in line he asked me if I was fine going on this roller coaster.

“Are you kidding me? I’m a maniac for roller coaster. The more loops and corkscrews the better!” I said excitedly as I pumped my fists in the air.

Josh and I were laughing crazily once we got off the coaster out of pure excitement but my phone interrupted us. I checked it and Ky had sent me a picture of Todd in between Buzz Lightyear and Woody with the caption Awww Toy Story and Toddie, what could be cuter?

Oh I know what’s cuter, my joshie! I slipped my hand into his and led him all over the park looking for one specific thing.

“Kirstie where are we going?” he asked after we had circled the park twice.

“I need to find Nemo and take a picture of you and him together,” I told him before I showed him the picture Ky sent me. Josh just laughed and shook his head.

”NEMO AND DORY! I screamed as I ran up to them. The people inside these costumes were probably scared for their life right about now.

“Can you guys take a picture with my boyfriend?” I asked them as they gave a thumbs up…well a fin up.haha I’m so funny

Josh stood in the middle of them and gave a thumbs up and I snapped the picture. Josh and I then walked away and I sent the picture to Kylee but I let out a chuckle as I did so.

“What’s so funny?” Josh asked.

“Well you kind of don’t fit in with the rest of the picture wearing your Metal Mulisha shirt and your tattoos just don’t really fit in with a bunch of little kid characters,” I laughed.

“Yeah true but I really like little kids. I definitely want to have kids someday,” Josh told me.

“Really? Most guys your age aren’t really interested in that,” I said.

“I think having my awesome nephew has rubbed off on me and made me want to have kids. What about you?” He smiled.

“Oh I definitely want to have a couple kids at least. I love kids so much and growing up with three siblings was such a positive for me and I was so close to my family that had an impact on me too,” I told him.

“I think you’re going to make a great mom one day because you’re so caring,” he smiled at me as my cheeks turned the lightest shade of pink.

“Todd doesn’t think so,” I chuckled remembering his comment at the wedding reception ’Well your mental age isn’t much higher than a six year old and your kids might look like you…which is creepy in itself’

“Well Todd’s wrong,” Josh told me as he left a kiss on my cheek.

We spent the rest of the day going on tons of rides and I had so much fun and at the end of the day we sat and watched the fireworks show before we exited the park and hopped into Josh’s Toyota.

“I had an amazing day, thank you so much for taking me Joshie,” I told him as I left a beautiful kiss on his lips. As I was going to separate he deepened the kiss and wrapped his arms around me.

“Josh this isn’t very comfortable,” I mumbled against his lips as I was leaning across the middle of the truck. Josh then pulled me over to I was sitting on his lap in the drivers seat.

“How’s that?” he asked as he held me closely.

“Better,” I said as we wrapped our arms around each other. Josh pressed his lips to mine again in a breathless kiss.

“How was that?” Josh asked as he raised his eyebrows.

“Even better,” I smiled.

“I love you so much, do you know that?” he asked.

“I do know that, I always have….I just forgot it for a while,” I told him.

Deep down I always knew Josh loved me and I loved him but for a long time it was too clouded by pain and confusion for me to know it.