Twisted Words
The only one
They’re fighting again. The smash of dishes and numerous thuds of I don’t know what are enough to keep anyone awake, but it’s not the fighting that keeps me awake; it’s the screams. The screams of my brother. Well, he’s not my brother, at least not by blood. Legally and in my heart he’s my brother but I love him; I love him more than a brother should. Ever since he was old enough to walk and I was old enough to understand we’ve been inseperatable. I’m always there for him, when he trips and falls and I’m the one that picks him up, when he has a nightmare I’m the one he crawls into bed with and holds tight; I’m the only one that loves him the way he deserves.
I hear my brother stumbling up the stairs toward my room and our father cursing blindly at him on his way up, and my eyes scan up the walls so I’m staring at the ceiling. I look up at the luminous stars that decorate the ebony ceiling, it calms me, I don’t know why but I find peace in the darkness; however, my brother does not. The lightless silence is interrupted by the creak of a door, a few sniffles and light padding footsteps entering my room. The door squeaks shut and I know he has his hands outstretched looking for where the floor ends and the bed starts.
The bed sags a little as he crawls under the covers, squirming trying to get comfortable and he eventually settles with his thin arms draped around my waist. We lay in silence for a few minutes until I decide to break it with a shallow whisper, “Are you okay?” A stupid thing to ask but it’s the only words I can actually get out of my throat. “Yes Oliver I’m okay.” He replied bluntly and rolled over taking his warm arms away from my cold body.
I lay there flat on my back until the distance between us grew too great and I turned over, propping myself up on my arms. “Are you mad at me?’ I murmured. “Yes.” He said coldly, “Yes I am mad at you Oliver.” I just stayed frozen, unmoving and not speaking; it’s not that I didn’t want to reach down and hug him and tell him I loved him I just couldn’t, not when he was being like this. So I took a chance, “Why?” As soon as that three-letter word slipped from my lips I knew it had been the wrong thing to say. He shot up from the bed and gave me a look that made my heart want to crawl out my throat and run, run to a place where he couldn’t hurt it. “Why? WHY? WHY AM I MAD AT YOU OLIVER?” He screamed his face contorting in fury, “Well . . . HMM . . . Lets see . . . why am I mad?” His voice was a sarcastic mockery and I did not like it, I did not like it one bit. Alas he continued, “ I am mad at YOU Oliver because while YOUR father beat me you were up here AWAKE, doing NOTHING to stop him. I AM ALWAYS THE ONE THAT GETS PUNISHED FOR BEING THE WAY I AM. YOU ALWAYS MANAGE TO STAY HIDDEN!” With those words my baby brother collapsed face down on the pillow, eyes overflowing with tears and heart wrenching sobs escaping his crimson colored lips.
The sight of him was enough to make me want to vomit, not out of disgust, but out of pity. I felt sorry for him, his pain radiated off his body and entered my soul in fast rushing nightmares of what would happen if we were to be discovered. So I did what any brother would do, I comforted him. I bent down and pulled my little brother close, at first he resisted me but I held on tight and soon he threw his arms around my neck, burying his head in the crook of my neck; the tears now free flowing down his cheeks onto my bare chest. I pulled him closer to me, held on tight and started to sing to him.
“All the lights on and you are alive But you can't point the way to your heart
So sublime, when the stars are aligned But you don't know You don't know the greatness you areCause Blue Eyes You are destiny's scene Cause Blue Eyes I just wanna be the one I just wanna sing a song with you Cause Blue Eyes You’re the secret I keep Cause Blue Eyes I just wanna sing a song with you…”
I continued to sing until I thought he fell asleep, our bodies never leaving each others comfortable embrace. A small voice curved itself into my ears making me open my eyes, “I love it when you sing Oliver, you always make me feel better when you sing . . . Is it wrong . . . Is what we have wrong?” I looked down at his piercing blue eyes, connecting them with my own ivy colored eyes and uttered the two letters that answered his question, “No.” His face remained still for a minute or two then that smile, that smile that I loved so much started to creep across his face, until he was smiling from ear to ear. “Oliver?” He whispered. “Yes?” I replied. He took my hands in his and looked me directly in the eyes, “I do not believe what we have is wrong, love knows no limits. All I know is that I’m in love with you and I don’t care who knows it, I would go to hell and back just to see you smile. I know I am young but I will always love you no matter what comes in between us. You are my brother, my friend and my love. I don’t plan to change any of that.” Tears started to roll down my cheeks, and my lips curled up into a smile. I said the only thing I could, “I Love You Michael."
I hear my brother stumbling up the stairs toward my room and our father cursing blindly at him on his way up, and my eyes scan up the walls so I’m staring at the ceiling. I look up at the luminous stars that decorate the ebony ceiling, it calms me, I don’t know why but I find peace in the darkness; however, my brother does not. The lightless silence is interrupted by the creak of a door, a few sniffles and light padding footsteps entering my room. The door squeaks shut and I know he has his hands outstretched looking for where the floor ends and the bed starts.
The bed sags a little as he crawls under the covers, squirming trying to get comfortable and he eventually settles with his thin arms draped around my waist. We lay in silence for a few minutes until I decide to break it with a shallow whisper, “Are you okay?” A stupid thing to ask but it’s the only words I can actually get out of my throat. “Yes Oliver I’m okay.” He replied bluntly and rolled over taking his warm arms away from my cold body.
I lay there flat on my back until the distance between us grew too great and I turned over, propping myself up on my arms. “Are you mad at me?’ I murmured. “Yes.” He said coldly, “Yes I am mad at you Oliver.” I just stayed frozen, unmoving and not speaking; it’s not that I didn’t want to reach down and hug him and tell him I loved him I just couldn’t, not when he was being like this. So I took a chance, “Why?” As soon as that three-letter word slipped from my lips I knew it had been the wrong thing to say. He shot up from the bed and gave me a look that made my heart want to crawl out my throat and run, run to a place where he couldn’t hurt it. “Why? WHY? WHY AM I MAD AT YOU OLIVER?” He screamed his face contorting in fury, “Well . . . HMM . . . Lets see . . . why am I mad?” His voice was a sarcastic mockery and I did not like it, I did not like it one bit. Alas he continued, “ I am mad at YOU Oliver because while YOUR father beat me you were up here AWAKE, doing NOTHING to stop him. I AM ALWAYS THE ONE THAT GETS PUNISHED FOR BEING THE WAY I AM. YOU ALWAYS MANAGE TO STAY HIDDEN!” With those words my baby brother collapsed face down on the pillow, eyes overflowing with tears and heart wrenching sobs escaping his crimson colored lips.
The sight of him was enough to make me want to vomit, not out of disgust, but out of pity. I felt sorry for him, his pain radiated off his body and entered my soul in fast rushing nightmares of what would happen if we were to be discovered. So I did what any brother would do, I comforted him. I bent down and pulled my little brother close, at first he resisted me but I held on tight and soon he threw his arms around my neck, burying his head in the crook of my neck; the tears now free flowing down his cheeks onto my bare chest. I pulled him closer to me, held on tight and started to sing to him.
“All the lights on and you are alive But you can't point the way to your heart
So sublime, when the stars are aligned But you don't know You don't know the greatness you areCause Blue Eyes You are destiny's scene Cause Blue Eyes I just wanna be the one I just wanna sing a song with you Cause Blue Eyes You’re the secret I keep Cause Blue Eyes I just wanna sing a song with you…”
I continued to sing until I thought he fell asleep, our bodies never leaving each others comfortable embrace. A small voice curved itself into my ears making me open my eyes, “I love it when you sing Oliver, you always make me feel better when you sing . . . Is it wrong . . . Is what we have wrong?” I looked down at his piercing blue eyes, connecting them with my own ivy colored eyes and uttered the two letters that answered his question, “No.” His face remained still for a minute or two then that smile, that smile that I loved so much started to creep across his face, until he was smiling from ear to ear. “Oliver?” He whispered. “Yes?” I replied. He took my hands in his and looked me directly in the eyes, “I do not believe what we have is wrong, love knows no limits. All I know is that I’m in love with you and I don’t care who knows it, I would go to hell and back just to see you smile. I know I am young but I will always love you no matter what comes in between us. You are my brother, my friend and my love. I don’t plan to change any of that.” Tears started to roll down my cheeks, and my lips curled up into a smile. I said the only thing I could, “I Love You Michael."
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A lot of my stories are short but I'm really trying to make them longer. Thank you for reading. M xoxo