Denial.

A sigh passed my lips as I heard the phone ring a few times before Dillon’s wonderful voice greeted me on the other end, a bit of grogginess evident in his melodic tone. It’s to be expected though, since I’m calling him at midnight on a school night. I couldn’t sleep though. I was having trouble because I wanted to talk to him so badly.

“I was just having trouble falling asleep and wanted to talk to you,” I murmured into the receiver shyly.

A soft giggle escaped Dillon’s lips. “That’s okay, but I have to go soon. I’m tired,” he explained.

“I know, I know. I’ll let you go soon. I just wanted to talk to you about something that’s been on my mind a lot lately.”

“What is it?” He asked, his curiosity getting the best of him. That’s one of those things that you can never hate about Dillon, he’s stuck in his childish ways.

“I haven’t really taken you out on a proper date yet,” I commented absentmindedly.

Dillon exhaled on the other end of the line and I could almost hear the excitement in his voice as he murmured, “what are you getting at, Jordan?” He was playing with me. He wants this badly, and who am I to deny him of something he’s been yearning for?

“I was thinking about having our first date on Saturday,” I continued on. “My parents will be out of the house and you can come over. I can cook for you or something and you may even be able to spend the night since my parents may or may not be sleeping at my cousins house since that is who they’re visiting. I can give you more details on that, but I just want to treat you to something special and I don’t want to risk taking you out in public or anything,” I babbled as my explanation.

“Awww,” his voice rang out across the line. “Well, aren’t you thoughtful?”

“Don’t be funny. It’s not easy asking someone out since you are never guaranteed that they will say yes,” I defended.

“I’d never deny you, Jordan,” Dillon’s voice flowed through the phone to me, soft and sweet and straight to the point. “I’m not going to deny my boyfriend of anything.”

“Is that a yes then?” I asked hopefully.

His soft giggle reached me again. “How could I say no? We can’t take times like this for granted since our relationship, if that’s what you want to refer to it as, isn’t really that conventional. But the whole sneaking around people’s back thing is certainly going to be an interesting experience,” he babbled.

“It will, it will,” I agreed. “Is pasta and salad okay? My cooking skills are pretty limited,” I admitted sheepishly.

“Hey,” his voice rang over the line, “at least you don’t have trouble making easy mac.”

I laughed at his confession. Poor Dillon. Something as simple as making easy mac would prove to be a challenge for him because that’s simply what things are like for him. “That’s true,” I admitted.

“Okay, okay,” he commented. “It’s a date.”

“Okay,” I said happily. “I’ll let you go to sleep now.”

“Wait!” His voice rang out over the line, but what he said next made his voice sound incredibly small. “Are you sure you were okay at lunch today?”

“If there were any problems, I would have told you,” I told him, trying to wipe away my recent suspicions about Zach.

“Good,” he said in a relieved manner. I can’t break his heart by springing information about Zach on him. “G’night, Jordan,” he commented as a quiet yawn passed his lips.

“G’night, babe.”

~

I shot an annoyed glare at the smaller boy standing in front of me. He was looking up at me angrily, an intense look oh hatred set upon his features. If anything, I should be annoyed and hate on him right now. I was just walking into school n my merry way with the mission to seek out Dillon and shove him into a vacant bathroom so I can get a few kisses in before school starts and he had to rudely pull me out of the front door of the building and into the brush on the edges of the school by the handle on my backpack. Screw him. He had no right. I did absolutely nothing to him.

“You need to stay away from Dillon,” Zach ordered me.

I let a dry chuckle escape my lips. “I’m not going to ignore my boyfriend. I happen to like him a lot, I’m not going to ignore him like I did when I was struggling with how I felt about him,” I said defiantly. Why do I even have to worry about standing up to this kid? Oh yeah, because he’s Dillon’s best friend and it’s never going to work out if he hates me. If he badgers Dillon enough, he’ll probably possess the power to ruin our relationship. I don’t want that, but with the way he’s already dead set to get rid of me, I’m starting to believe that Zach is going to be a permanent obstacle that will always find a way to be blocking my path

“He’s too good for you,” he shot back. “You’re an ass that doesn’t care about anyone but himself.”

“Who are you to judge me?” I shot back at him. “If I was so full of myself I wouldn’t have bothered eating lunch with you yesterday. I didn’t know any of you guys, but I did it because Dillon wanted me to and asked me to. I did it because my boyfriend wanted me to and I’m not going to deny him on such little requests. That would make me full of myself, but Dillon really means a lot to me and has meant a lot to me for a while.”

“You’re gonna fucking hurt him. He can do so much better. He’s putting his entire reputation on the line for someone who doesn’t even deserve it!” He plowed on.

“Shut the fuck up, Zach! You think he’s the only one putting his reputation on the line? We both are. That’s why we’re fucking keeping this a secret. He shouldn’t have told you if you were gonna act like a jealous little bitch.” I reeled the second the words left my mouth, surprised at my explosive behavior. Zach just brings out the worst in me because he seems to know how to get under my skin.

“He needs someone who has stood by him from the start,” he plowed on.

“What?” I countered. “Like you?”

“Yeah, like me,” he seethed.

“Listen, I didn’t start anything with him with the intent to ruin your little crush. Hell, I didn’t even know you had a damn crush on him until after we were dating. You should have acted on it and that’s your own mistake. I’m not trying to ruin anything, but you have to accept that we’re dating and move on,” I said as kindly as I could, not wanting to hurt him. “I know what it’s like to want something that you can’t necessarily have, but if you can’t have them, you should want what’s best for them,” I continued. “All I wanted for Dillon from the beginning was for him to be happy, and I’m still shocked that I’m the one that makes such an amazing boy happy, but my feelings for him are seriously genuine. I’m not using him.”

He looked at me dumbfounded before shaking his head angrily. “You should stop feeding me this bullshit,” he yelled before he turned around and stomped away in the direction away from the school.

“I’m not bullshitting you!” I called out, but it was too late, he was already out of ear shot.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts before I turned towards the school, jogging through the front doors so I wouldn’t be late to class, but Dillon found me in the hallway and gently tugged me aside, pressing the tiniest kiss to the palm of my hand so that no one really noticed what he did.

“Are you okay?” He asked me worriedly.

“Fine,” I muttered.

“You look a bit… flushed,” he finally finished after it took him a moment or two to find the right word to finish his thought.

“I’m fine,” I assured him. “I was just thinking about things.”

“That’s never good,” he said jokingly around one of his adorable little giggles.

I chuckled along with him, smiling at his attempt to lighten the mood. He never wants to see me mad or upset, nor do I want to see him like that either. I looked around the hallway before leaning down real quickly, whispering in his ear, “I’m really excited for Saturday.”

He looked up at me as I leaned away and turned around; starting to walk towards my class so our new daily talks in the morning wouldn’t raise anyone’s suspicions. Before I turned the corner, I could barely hear his melodic voice call out, “So am I!”

Saturday’s not going to be able to come fast enough.