Denial.

I shook my hair out, allowing the water to fly everywhere as I stepped out of my shower, the fog from the steam clouding up the entire room and smearing the mirror. A sigh passed my lips as I wrapped a towel around my waist and used the back of my hand to wipe away the condensation to reveal a smiling and drenched reflection of myself. My dark locks were plastered to my forehead in a messy array, covering my brown eyes. However, the water was accenting my abs, abs that can only be gotten from working hard, like working out continuously since you’re the running back of the football team. Yeah, I’m that guy.

You see, when you think of that guy, you think of a man who can win you over with their smile and charm, that’s just like the all American boy! I’m not trying to say I have a big ego, I’m just repeating what I’ve heard countless times throughout life, and frankly, I can’t understand where they’d see these things in me! It’s like I live my life by sitting comfortably within a stereotype, though I really am a nice person and would rather get along with everyone then have an enemy.

However, I’m not the all American boy that everyone wants me to be. I act like one, I look like one, I get treated like one, but I most definitely do not feel like one. See, there’s sort of this one rule that goes along with being the person that everyone thinks I am. That one rule, a rule that I have to lie through my teeth to make look like its true, haunts me.

When you see a boy, you think that he’d want a girl. When you see a boy that’s dubbed to be all American, you’d see him with the girl, the head cheerleader, but honestly, she disgusts me more than anything. Men, now they are something to look at, but of course, I’d never admit that out loud.

I’m comfortable with my sexuality, but it’s the world, mainly my tiny town of Greendale, that is in denial. In their eyes, homosexuality is bad and truly frowned upon. They think that God might as well be punishing you because he doesn’t like you and that it’s their duty to make sure that you aren’t liked. I’d be denied by the public and oh, would it be such a scandal.

It might as well make it in a newspaper headline! Jordan Gleeson has gone to the dark side!

Oh, that’s easily avoidable. Just one more year of this entire charade, this horribly degrading and irksome façade, and I can get out of this town and be who I am instead of living the life that other’s want me to live. The days, they seem to not pass by fast enough. I just want to get out of this prison.

I sighed, pushing out my chin and letting air past my lips, allowing it to kick up the stray strands of my drying black locks as I walked out of the bathroom and began to scrounge through my closet in search of an outfit that I’d like. I decided on a simple pair of black skinny jeans and a white t-shirt, throwing on my varsity football jacket over the t-shirt. The red and white colors of my high school easily matched the colors of my favorite pair of shoes, my scruffy red converse that have been worn down from years of being owned.

I shuffled my way through my house, not really bothering to mess with my hair. Whether I take the time to style it or not, it’s always complimented, most often by those who want to get in my pants, not that any of them have or ever will succeed. I’m not one for one night stands and I prefer to wait until the time is right to be with someone that intimately. Does that mean I’ve got two strikes against me since I’m gay and not a virgin?

I opened the front door to my house, sighing as I realized that neither my father nor my mother were home. They were at work early, just like they always are. I might as well already be living on my own. I jumped into my black Hummer that was waiting for me in the middle of my driveway, driving slowly towards school.

Time to put up that stupid façade.

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

I walked down the hallway, my best friend, Mark, by my side. Mark and I are really close, but I know, for a fact, that he’s a class A homophobe. Isn’t my life just peachy?

I did my best to ignore all of the unwanted comments and unneeded attention, though it’s definitely unavoidable. The comments may be positive and can easy boost my self-esteem while making my ego inflate, but I just don’t like them. I don’t like being the center of attention. It means that if I fall from my pedestal, though I hope I never do, my fall will be that much harder and further down. I don’t need my problems and love life in the open, I’d rather keep things like that person and between those who only must get involved.

“Hey!” I heard a high pitched voice call, making me tense before I started to jog down the hallway, Mark hot on my heels, laughing all the way. “Jordan, wait up!” The voice screeched, the horrible sound of heels clicking on tile following it. She’s getting closer! I sped up, only to groan when I felt manicured fingers dig into my arm.

I turned around, plastering a smile onto my face, though it probably looked more like a grimace. “Shelby, hi,” I muttered to the head cheerleader herself. She was clad in her uniform, probably because it showed the most skin as possible without breaking the school’s dress code.

“I missed you this weekend,” she said around a smile, cocking her hip and batting her eyelashes a bit too much.

“Yeah, that,” I muttered, scratching my head. “My parents needed me to go to a business dinner with them,” I lied smoothly.

“No worries,” she said cheerily. “I’ll make sure that no one comes to my house this weekend. It’ll be just the two of us,” she said around a wink.

I suppressed the urge to gag and roll my eyes, knowing full well that I would definitely never take her up on that offer. “We’ll see,” I finally said, not knowing what else to say.

She smiled before wrapping her boney arms around me in a quick hug. “By the way, I like your hair,” she muttered before walking away, a smile on her face.

I threw my hands in the air exasperatedly, not knowing what else to do. I fucking hate that line more than anything! It’s a line for desperate people.

Is there no one respectable and cool left in the world?