Denial.

Although I went to go see a movie I couldn’t concentrate on it, or anything really, at all. Every time I looked at the screen to see the main character, Channing Tatum, it made me think of Jordan and what he had said.

Channing Tatum’s hot!

What straight guy says that? Especially one such as Jordan! He’s our star player for the football team. All the girls love him, they all want him. He can have any woman, or even man, he wanted. He is practically the God of our school! He’s sex on legs, the most beautiful being to ever hit this earth. Surely he isn’t gay…no, there’s no way!

Not with his popularity and all the chances he gets. He has to like girls because there’s just so many throwing themselves at him. He can have whichever he wanted…but maybe that’s why he doesn’t like them…no, it just can’t be true…

But he had said that. He had called, another male, hot and like I said, what straight guy says that? Sure, I’ve heard guys tease one another like that but he didn’t sound like he was joking at all. And the fact that he kind of panicked after he said it made it seem like it slipped, like he didn’t mean to actually say it. That means he actually meant he finds him attractive.

A guy calling another guy hot isn’t normal. Sure, we can say a guy is cool or he’s not ugly but hot, no way there’s just no way! Is Jordan…could he possibly be…

Gay?

The mere thought took my breath away.My Jordan, gay! It…it would be a dream come true. But that’s the point, it would be a dream. In other words, it’s not true. He probably just thinks that he’s cool and I mean…Channing Tatum is hot and there’s probably a lot of guys out there who are envious.

Maybe Jordan is just like them, envious or something? There’s just no way that he could be gay…oh but how I wish he was.

Especially after today.

Just feeling his body pressed against mine took the air from my lungs. I wish he would have just stripped me down there and took me but again, that’s a dream of mine and it’s rare for dreams to come true. Especially ones like that.

But even now, hours later, my hands are shaking and my heart is still pounding with excitement. Seeing him, spending time with him always leaves me like this, wanting more and more of him. I’m so selfish…I just want him and I don’t want anyone else to touch him. Does that make me a bad person?

Sighing, I fall back onto my bed and run my fingers through my hair. Closing my eyes, I smile at the memory of Jordan pouncing on me. The way our bodies just seemed to fit, how his hips seemed to move perfectly with my own, the feeling of his muscles pressed against my stomach, the way his fingers brushed my wrists, and the way his lips just seemed to be hovering over my own.

If only he had just leaned down some more I could have felt them, those lush lips that have been haunting my dreams for so long.

Fuck…just thinking about it works me up.

Sitting up, I get out of bed to check and make sure my parents had really left. After scouting the house, I realize that yes, they had left. It’s just me and I scurry back upstairs to my computer where I get into the folder that if mother found, she’d scream.

Biting my lip, I contemplate actually watching it. Even if I do, I’ll imagine it’s Jordan whose touching me and it’ll only cause more problems but it never works if it isn’t Jordan who I think is doing it. Sighing, I make up my mind and put it on.

I pull off my shirt because in all honesty I don’t want to get anything on my shirt and I kick off my pants, leaving me in nothing but my boxers. Just to make sure, I check over my shoulder because I’m paranoid like that. I just don’t want anyone walking inbut there’s no one else here.

Really, the story lines in porn is completely useless. I don’t even see why they have a story line. They should just start it with people fucking because that’s the only reason we teens buy them. But that’s beside the point, if that’s what they do than do it, as long as I get to watch some good boy on boy action!

Biting my lip, I apologize to Jordan although he has no idea what I’m doing. Still, I apologize to him for thinking about him this way, for imagining that it’s he who is touching me, that he’s the one who makes me come, and I apologize for wishing that he’d just give up everything to be mine and be gay.

I pop open the button to my boxers. Sneaking my hand into my boxers, I rub my already hardening shaft. My breaths become short and quick and I close my eyes. Just hearing them and imagining that it’s me and Jordan is enough to get me rock hard.

I grunt and run my thumb across my slit. I start out slow, running up and down my shaft. With half lidded eyes, I watch and continue biting my lip. I don’t even want to think of how Jordan would react if he knew.

Before I know it, I’m dripping with an embarrassing amount of pre-come. Smearing it across my palm, I use it as a lubricant and speed up my movements. The fire in my chest sky rockets into an inferno and burns my insides with an insanely white hot passion.

My thighs begin to quiver and my hips are desperately thrusting into my questing hand. I’m so close and I know that I just need a little something to go over that edge. I run my finger over my tip and I cry out Jordan‘s name. Lolling my head to the side, I pant and bite into the chair to keep myself from making anymore embarrassing noises.

And just as I groan in pleasure and I hit my orgasm, shooting my seed into my hand, I hear it, the squeaking of the hinges on my bedroom door. And just as I turn my head it opens and I feel my eyes widen with fear and embarrassment.

My cheeks flare, not that they aren’t already, and the only thing that’s going through my mind, the only thing that I can think at this, possibly the worst, moment in time is…

Shit.